Raising Your Child in Other State Away from Family & Friends

We're in the same situation.

I grew-up outside Washington, D.C., my husband is from the Cleveland area. We live outside Indianapolis.

There are times it's tough not having family around, but it's the life we chose, and with the economy the way it is, it's not going to change any time soon. So, like other people recommended, Skype and phone calls are great.

I'm a little different from other new moms, though. When we had our first child almost 4 years ago, I didn't want people to come and help me for a week or two. The reason is that my reality was being on our own without having grandparents to drop kids off with so we can have a nice evening or a weekend to ourselves. I made all my own meals as soon as we got home, did all my own shopping/laundry so I knew how hard it was going to be without a false sense of hope. Everyone is different - that's just how I needed to do it.

When I was diagnosed with cancer following my second child's birth, that reality really hit close to home. My husband had to assume many more responsibilities during my treatment (my diagnosis was the day before our son's 2nd birthday, our daughter was 10.5 weeks old). But, we survived without relying on our families.

If you accept your life as it is, it makes it much better to get through day-to-day. Parenthood will strengthen some relationships and ruin others. You'll make many new friends as your kids age and interact.

Your children will build the bond with your family if you make it a priority. Keep pictures around, talk about your family often, and use modern technology to let them know who is important to you.

My family is all on the East Coast, but my 2 year old son still loves his grandparents. I have found that Skype is great, with video calls. We also have pictures of all of his grandparents that we show him and talk about them often. I remind him that certain toys were presents from Grandpa, etc. My dad and step-mom were out here last week, and my son greeted them warmly and knew who they were right away. You can make them a part of his life, don't worry!!

I am a military wife. My boys were both born in the UK. We are now in Alaska and it is the closest to home (Montana) we have ever been. We visit when we can, and they come see us, but that is not really enough, so we set up a web cam and our boys talk to Grandma and Grandpa face to face at least once a week. It really helps them feel more connected.

I am an Army wife and NONE of our family lives nearby. It can be very hard and stressful at times but the idea is to get involved in anything and get a support group going so that you dont feel so alone. I know that he will not have a problem with your families at all. Maybe a lil shy at first but they will all want to hold and kiss and hug on him. Then he will learn that these are the people who love them and will remember them. Take pictures and hang them up around your house. Phone calls..or even Skype-ing(its free to download and easy to use just need webcam!) there are tons of ways to stay in touch. It may seem hard now--and you sound just like us!--but dont fret. He will always know who his family is.

Hey! I wouldn't worry to much about it. I used to feel the same way as you. My family lives on the other side of the state from us about 3 hours away and we hardley ever saw them until my daughter turned three. She is four now. We go there about 3-4 times a year. Just from those few visits a year she knows all my aunts, uncles, and cousins names and remembers all of them.

One of the things I've done is to get one of those picture albums that is chewable ( Walmart has them for $3) and put pictures of all the absent family members in it. Then every day we " read" the album. Also I've found Skype is great. You can use the webcam to see relatives and chat so he gets familiar with their faces and voices. Both my sis and I have this same issue since the majority of our family lives in SLC and I live in Nevada and she lives in Ohio. It is a balancing act, but her 3 year old still seems fairly connected to our side even though she mostly sees us through Skype. Hang in there:)

We live without any relatives close to us. My family is in Europe, my hubby's family is on the East Coast. I think this is very common nowadays.

We stay in touch via phone and skype. My daughter regularly sees her grandparents this way (once a week) and knows who they are.

Is she going to have a close bond with them? Honestly, probably not, but who knows...

We are happy where we live and have no intention of moving, but of course I do miss my family and sometimes wish we were closer - it's just one of those things that we cannot really change for our life and I have come to accept it.

Not sure what you are really looking for as far as an answer.
Will your baby not bond with your parents? When your son is 5 he will not remember anything from his first 2 years. So right now isn't really an issue long term. What will make a difference, is when he starts being the age to retain long term memories. When he is about 2 1/2 - 3 yrs old he will retain some of those memories long term. If he builds a relationship with family during that time, and you expend the effort to maintain it over the years... they can be fantastically close.. IF their relationship goes that way. Not all grandparents relate to their grandchildren the same way! Some are "perfect" grandparents and love every second they get to spoil their grandkids, keep them overnight, take them on trips, show up at every school event, etc. Others.. not so much. So a lot is out of your control.
The first few times ANY child is around "strangers" (related or not) they might be standoffish or display "separation anxieties".. but if your family stays involved and has face time with your son regularly, that should go away over time.

Relax. My husband's family and my own are both 5 hours away. We only see them a few times a year. But our kids LOVE their grands and aunts/ uncles and cousins. A LOT of that is related to the kinds of interest the family expresses in our kids.. NOT in their proximity.
hth

We are not that close to our families and we purposely moved a plane ticket away from everyone.

We couldn't be happier. Our 15 yr old daughter is doing just fine with friends and support circle we have developed here.