My 3 Year Old Is a Night Owl!

If you aren't working and your husband is the one doing odd jobs, then the burden falls on you to get him on a schedule. This means waking, snacks, lunch, quiet time, dinner, and bed.

Spontaneous is okay as long as it's AROUND the eating and sleeping schedule.

At least you aren't worrying about a nap. That makes it easier.

You get him up at the same time every morning. Even if you want to sleep in. No more sleeping in. At night time, NO TV after supper. Don't have a very long bedtime ritual. That actually makes it harder. Bedtime should be quiet and laid back - no wrestling or running around. Have some bedtime music playing on a CD.

I would put him to bed no earlier than 8:30. In fact, I'd put him to bed at 9:00. Then do not let him come out of the room. Don't talk to him, don't interact with him. When he can't find anything to do and you aren't coming in entertaining him, he'll go to sleep.

Keep doing the same exact thing every night and get him up at 7:30 every morning, no matter what. It might take time, but if you are absolutely consistent, he will finally adjust.

ETA: I just read your SWH - sorry about that. Okay, here's what I'd add to what I've already advised. Do what Supernanny does. Sit in the floor in the room with him, in the MIDDLE of the room. Only have a nightlight in there. Don't move, don't talk, don't look at him. At the beginning, he'll get out of the bed over and over. Get up and put him back in the bed and sit back down in the floor. Don't talk to him. Just keep putting him back in the bed. If you find that he's playing with toys in the bed, remove those toys the next day, putting them in his closet so that they aren't a temptation for him.

It will take time, but if you just do not make things fun for him at all, he will get tired of this and start falling asleep earlier and earlier. Give it about 2 weeks. I promise you, you'll make headway.

Sending you strength~

Dawn

Going to bed at 10pm and waking up at 7am COULD be okay. Lately, my 3.5 yr old goes into her room for "bedtime" at 9pm or so, but there are of days where she doesn't actually fall asleep until 10pm or later. She's usually up by 7am. She may or may not take a nap.

Even if your schedule is spontaneous, bedtime and wake up time should be fairly constant. And don't let him stay up with mommy and daddy....he should stay in his room after the set "bedtime." You mention he's afraid of the dark....how afraid? Would a nightlight in his room plus a small flashlight for him to hold help?

We don't "fight' our kids about going to sleep. She goes into her room for bedtime, and we do our routine. After "lights out" (she does get a nightlight in her room), mommy and daddy leave the room. She doesn't have to "sleep" right away, but she DOES have to be quiet. She can "read" in her bed (there are a lot of nights where she falls asleep "reading" to herself) or play quietly with her stuffed animals (sometimes she sings to them), but we do NOT engage her at all. She can come out to go to the bathroom (once), but that's it.

You could also talk to him about why he doesn't want to go to bed (not at bedtime). If it's just "I'm not sleepy" explain that he does not have to sleep, but he DOES have to stay in his bed. Keep the door open if you have to, but keep putting him back in his bed without "engaging" him. And make the rest of the house conducive to bedtime...at least until he gets used to his new routine. If it's something else, see what you can come up to workaround the issue that includes him staying in his room. :)

One other thing I would mention is when/what he eats for dinner/dessert. Is he getting too much sugar? Food and activity level during the day also seem to impact what time my kiddo actually goes to sleep.

Good luck!

If he's going to bed by midnight and not getting up until 10:00 am, that's 10 hours of sleep. So, he's getting enough sleep, but he might not be sleeping when you want him to.

If you need him to go to bed earlier, I would start by waking him up in the morning. If he usually wakes up at 10:00, start by waking him up at 9:30. Do that for a couple of days, and then begin waking him up at 9:00, then 8:30, then ... you get the idea.

You have to be realistic about how much sleep he needs, rather than what time you want him to go to bed.

Our oldest is in kindergarten, and our youngest goes to daycare. We have to be out the door by 7:40, which means then need to be up by 6:30ish, which means they need to be in bed by 8:30 in order to not be crab apples at 6:30.

Count backwards and adjust from there.

I think it sounds like his sleeping needs are totally normal - but it's perfectly reasonable (and probably very healthy for you) to want to shift the hours so that they work for the entire family.

I'm a night owl and can relate to his hours. smile What works for me is to go to bed at the same time every night after a routine. I read for awhile and that helps. Have you tried giving him a regular routine and bed time? Use just a night light. Then let him look at books or do quiet things until he falls asleep? Perhaps play quiet music. Make it a rule that he's to not come out of his room. When he does, take him back to bed without saying anything past it's time to be in bed. You can't make him fall asleep but you can make him stay in his room.

You'll have to do this over and over and over and over at first. I've seen this done on Super Nanny and the parents have been up doing this for several hours the first night or two. Then the child pretty much obeyed after just a couple of times after that. Say nothing. Just walk them back to bed. On Super Nanny the parent stays in the room, sitting with their back to the child so that they can immediately put them back in bed. I suggest that you do not have to expect him to stay in bed but he must stay in his room.

Then make sure the rest of the house is quiet. Keep the TV turned down low and your voices low. I suggest that once he realizes he has to stay in his room he'll start going to sleep earlier and you won't have to be so quiet once he's asleep.

Is he acting tired or cranky? He could just not need as much sleep as you think he does. My boys have always gone to bed at 10:00pm and they get up at 8:00am. That all the sleep they need. I would try to move his bedtime earlier by 15 minutes a day, and wehn you get it to a more reasonable time, be consistent. Do not expect that he is going to start sleeping 12 hours a day if he only tends to sleep 10 hours a day, so don't make bedtime at 8:00pm unless you don't mid getting up at 6:00am. You can make a scedule with pictures and share it with your son. He can understand it, he is not a toddler. If he is afraid of the dark get him a night light. My sons had the Ikea nightlighs on the wall next to their beds (the moon and the star).

Sounds like anxiety to me. Our son has issues with that and honestly, the more you argue, coax, the more he gets anxious. In OUR case is that when he's like that (we have other issues going on as well) I choose not to engage in the battle. He can go get his sleeping bag and sleep in the corner of the room we're in and he falls asleep fast. We don't have to do it every night but some nights he's just "off" and we have to.

Well with my 3 kids I had them all on a consistent schedule. Kids do better with schedules. We need some down time so besides him needing consistent sleep. You also need time with your husband alone. If your not doing a nap which I strongly feel all kids under 5 needs. He needs some quiet time. No tv no ipad. Just some quiet toys.
Don't give him so much power. Your the parent. Now if you want him to go to bed and best of all stay in bed. This will work but it will be hell for a couple of days. He is going to scream and try to leave his room. I would put up a childs gate. Stay strong because in the long run its best for everyone. Good luck. Chris