Want to Know Your Bedtime for Your Kids

I think 8 pm is plenty early enough. 2 1/2 hour naps might be the problem and are they too close to bedtime. When my kids were little they woke up between 8 and 8:30 am. took a nap around 12:30-2 and would put them to bed around 8:30 and sometimes they didn't fall asleep until 9 but we didn't stay in their room until they went to sleep. They knew when it was bedtime, they could look at a book quietly but playtime and getting up was over for the night.

Hi Carla!
Since she wakes up at 6, the night before I would try to have her sleeping by 8pm. I would try to cut the bedtime routine a little shorter and maybe not sit in there with her until she falls asleep. I am not a fan of the crying out method in younger babies, but she is almost two. You dont really have to leave her in there crying, just let her know its time for bed, and you will come in and out and check on her until she is sleeping. With another baby on the way, Im afraid the bedtime rountine that you have right on is not going to work out, Im almost certain of it. I would get her used to it now so its not so shocking when you are busy with the new baby. I think she really needs to be able to fall asleep on ther own now. I would say, maybe not be so strict on the nights that she doesnt have to wake up early, but it might confuse her and wont get in the habit of going to bed early. I know bedtime can be rough, but it will be even rougher when you have two.....trust me!

Hi Carla!

I agree with your first poster. I believe in a pretty rigid schedule. I think it promotes a feeling a "safety" if you will. The child knows and can expect the same thing every night.

I believe that kids crave continuity and stability. I have 2 girls. They are now almost 6 and 8. My youngest stopped taking naps at 20 months, so that may be part of the problem. However, my oldest didn't stop until she was almost 3 1/2. Every child is different, and you have to go by their individual needs.

As far as your bedtime routine, I think that's wonderful. Again, though, like your what other poster said, once baby #2 comes along, you are probably not going to be able to sit for 30-45 minutes while your toddler tries to fall asleep. I would suggest that you can gradually cut down on the time spent w/your daughter while you are waiting for her to be omfortable enough for you to leave. Chances are, though, because you already have this routine in place, it's not going to be a tough transition.

I am a morning bird. I am usually up every day by 4:00 a.m. I have turned my kids into one also. As toddlers, I would feed them dinner around 5:30 or so, give them a bath, read to them, and they would be in bed by 7:00. Of course, they would get up around 6:00, but because I was already up, it didn't matter. Now that they are in school, we still have that same routine. Yes, my 8 yo still goes to bed between 7:00 and 7:30--even during the summer. I do plan to allow her to move her bedtime to 8:00 if she is able to handle it. She really likes her sleep. Only on special nights are they allowed to stay up later (usually Fridays about every other week.) They get a "popcorn party" and are able to watch a movie, but they never stay up past 9:00. Again, they get up around 6:00. If they do not want to go to sleep when they first get into bed, that's fine too. They are allowed to read, color, etc. as long as they stay in bed. This has been our routine forever. It works, and the girls seem very well-rested. Do what works for you in regards to times, but again my suggestion is to be consistent. You will appreciate it as she gets older.

Good luck!

J.

my situation is a little different because my son (who is 2 1/2) goes to daycare 5 days a week, however he gets up at the same time your daughter does, and he goes to bed between 7:30 and 8 (depending on how tired and grouchy he gets) every night. i can see how it might be easier to let her do her own thing a bit more on days she doesn't go to daycare, but i think that keeping her on the same routine even on nights she doesn't have to get up the next morning might be beneficial. it just seems like my son is happier and easier to get along with when he's on a good routine every day. the only time i see those infamous "twos" is when he's off his routine.

My 10 month old is in bed at 8:00 everynight. I put him in jammys, give him a bottle, then carry him up to bed, lay him in his crib and talk to him for a minute or two then I leave the dark room. He usually wakes up around 6:00 a.m. and naps for about an hour in the morning sometime (varies) and then he usually naps for about 3-4 hours in the afternoon. To me he doesn't nap enough during the day, but its all he wants to do and he seems good with it.
My 3 year old (just turned in March) is in bed between 8-9 everynight. It just sort of depends on how he is doing and what he is doing. Our bedtime routine is very short, it consists of jammys and being tucked into bed where I leave him in his dark room lit only with a small nightlight. I've learned the darkness is key, if I leave a light on then they tend to want to stay awake and get out of bed.
From about a month old I've always put my kids in bed and left the room. When they are infants and breastfeeding I'll obviously cuddle them in the nursery before bedtime. I just figured if I did from the very beginning then they would never know any different and so far it has worked. Maybe I'm just lucky b.c my sister (who has three children) watched my kids before at bedtime and said it felt so weird just to lay them in their bed and leave, but they are totally fine with it. We read books and snuggle and cuddle and talk earlier in the evening, so we still get everything in, I'm just not tied to their bedside at bedtime. With two young ones someone would lose somehow if I had to sit with noth of them to get them to sleep! :o) Good luck, I see you have a new little one on the way, congratulations!

Hi Carla, We have always had our kids in the bed by 7:30 and then they were asleep by 7:45 - as soon as my kids lay down they are out. We start the bed time routine about 1/2 an hour before we want them in the bed. So we would start with the stories and teeth brushing at about 7:00. But I have the odd kids, mine like to sleep and need a lot of sleep. Even at 18 months or so they would ask to go to bed when they got tired. They are 7 & 5 now and just the other day my 5 year old came and got me at 7:00 pm and asked me to put her to bed. So I would suggest starting the bed time routine earlier and I would have one consistant bed time, even on days that she does not have to get up early. That may mean that she gets up at 6:30 am every morning, but in the long run that is what will work best. My kids are up between 6 & 6:30 every day. It's not so bad now that they can entertain them selves for a while. Just remember the early mornings will only be temporary. Good luck!

The most important thing for bedtime (aside from a routine) is consistency. Since your daughter often has to wake up early, and it does take time to put her down, I'd compromise and pick a time in between. We start our routine no later than 7 pm because it takes my two boys almost an hour to get into bed and close to sleep. That may work for you too!

I'd pick an earlier bedtime and keep it no matter what's scheduled to happen the next day. If she has to et up early, she's good to go. If she has a chance to sleep in, then, hey, it's jst extra sleep! I'm a firm believer in sleep begets sleep.

Hope that helps!

Hello! My son is 4, but this tends to be what works best for us. He really needs a good sleep at night to avoid late afternoon crankiness the next day. He hasn't napped for well over a year now. As a norm, he needs to be asleep by 7:30 - if he seems really tired, by 7:00. He then sleeps until around 6:30 in the morning. When I was first getting him to fall asleep without rocking, having me there, I would do our whole routine (read book, pray, brush teeth, sing lullaby). Then after a few minutes, I would say that I forgot something (can be anything) that I have to go check on and I would be right back. I could stay away without him getting upset for longer periods and eventually he would be asleep by the time I came back in to check. Now, he falls asleep within 5 minutes or less of me leaving him in bed. I didn't believe in using any of the training for my son. He was breastfed and never left to cry it out. I know that works for some, but it wasn't for us. There were times I wondered if we would ever get to the point of him being able to go to sleep without me, but it does happen! Your daughter might still be a little bit young, but I'm sure that it happens at different times for different kiddos. I think the 'training books' lead people to believe that if you don't force your child into a sleep routing and leave them to deal with it on their own, they will have sleep issues going forward. I find it just the opposite. I think if you put the time in on the front end, you can have a beautiful (and comfortable, and happy) sleeper. My son sleeps very well now - rarely ever wakes up at night at all. Best of luck!

Everyone (kids & adults) need a regular bed & wake time. It is hard to do sometimes, but keeping close to a regular sleeping schedule makes everyone happier.
My boys get in bed between 7-7:30 pm. They have to be quiet once I tuck them in so I'm not sure when they actually fall asleep. They wake up at 7-7:30 am. My oldest is 7 1/2 y/o & needs 12 hrs. of sleep, while my 3 1/2 y/o only needs about 10 hrs. of sleep & he usually wakes up with his dad at about 6:30 am.
My oldest had a 'lovey' for many years that helped him sleep, but my youngest latched onto my wedding ring & needed to rub them to relax.

God bless!

Hi Carla. Your routine sounds very similar to mine with my 26 month old. I also have a 6 month old, so between the two of them, it sometimes ends up being 9 pm before the bedtime routine gets started, although our goal is 8 pm! And it usually takes 30 min to an hour to get her to sleep. But my 26 month old usually takes around a 2 or 3 hour nap in the afternoon.

Good Morning Carla, Well to begin with your little girl really doesn't have a good routine. If she gets up early 3 days aweek then is allowed to sleep later the other days her need for sleeping is all our of whack.
On the days where she sleeps in then has a long nap she probably doesn't feel tired or sleepy at 8.

On days when she doesn't go to daycare try getting her up at the same time or at the latest 6:30. Start your bedtime routine at 7, bath, teeth, 2 books tops, prayers night night kisses and sleep tight sweetheart. Leave the room.
If she stays in her bed that is great even if she isn't alseep. If she gets up, place her back in bed with Night night sweetheart, it's bed time. She might cry for a short time but please don't cave in. You only speak to her the first time, your put her back. Gets up again for mom put her back and say nothing. I know it sound horrid, but it does work.

I can use our gr son's as example
Up at 6:30 Zane 19 mo. Corbin 4,
I give them lunch between 11:30-12
Zane goes down for a nap at 1
Up at 3:30
Mom gets them at 5
They have dinner, baths etc
Zane is in bed by no later then 7:15
Corbin is in bed by 8 and most of the time he is alseep in minutes since he doesn't nap anymore.
Zane is a good sleeper to, put him in his crib and he is gone in minutes.

It's great to have a routine and stick to it.
I didn't with out boys that much as toddlers, boy was that a HUGE mistake......lol I survived it though and they did too.

Hope you find something that works for you and your little Angel
God Bless you
K. Nana of 5

A lot of great ideas! Try and figure out what works best for you!
I thought I would just share that each child is different and a set routine does not always work with each child. Although some posters have had success with two or so kids going to bed using the same routine and/or the same time, I wanted to let you know as the mother of four active boys, it does NOT always work. Each person has what I call an "internal clock" (they need a set number of hours of sleep and for each person that number can differ; some are natural "early birds" and others are "night owls." This rarely changes over time.
My eldest is now 13 and has always thrived on less sleep. He is a "night owl" and does best if he goes to sleep at around 10 or 11 and wakes at 6 or 7. He has been this way since he was a baby. Of course, I tried routines, naps, etc. with little success. He rarely slept longer than twenty minutes at a time as a baby and he gave up naps (of which never lasted longer than one hour) before age two!
My now nine year old twins slept better as long as they slept together. They would go to sleep at around 8p.m. and sleep until about 7 a.m. and sleep for about two hours in the afternoon until they were about two and a half (one twin would still be willing to nap, but wouldn't since his brother was up).
The "baby" who is now five has the best sleeping habits and I had NOTHING to do with it. He slept from 11 pm. until 7 a.m. when he was 11 days old! He would nurse, then fall back asleep until 9 or 9:30. Then, he would be up for an hour or two and then after feeding, sleep again for three or four hours (about 11 or 11:30 until 3 or 3:30). After two or so hours of "alert time", he would eat and go to sleep for about an hour, then wake up for a bath, some cuddle time with mom and dad, books, and another feeding and then he was down for the night. He also is our only child who asks to go to bed when he is tired. He is so aware of his sleep needs and is by far the easiest of the clan! He did not give up on naps of three hours until just one month before his 5th birthday! He now gets up around 7 or 8 every morning, stays up all day and goes to sleep around 8 each night. It is wonderful!
I tell you this only so that if you try some of the other posters' ideas and have little luck, don't fret. Each of us is made differently and sometimes the same method won't work. I would have loved to have children that had the same routine (it would have meant more sleep for hubby and me during the younger years); however, our boys all have different sleeping needs and once we recognized that, our house became a LOT happier!
Best of luck! Congratulations on #2!

My son is almost 18 months and he goes to bed at about 8:30 everynight but then wakes up at 6:15 because that is when his daddy gets up and he hears him. Unfortunatly he does the same thing on the weekends. He is still taking one to two naps only because he is so exhausted during the day if he only takes one nap. I have tried earlier bed times but that has proven to be really hard since he will just cry or fuss that much longer. If I wait until 8:30 he usually doesn't even cry. Anyway I wouldn't worry too much about it as she sounds like she is getting enough sleep though you may want to sleep in sometimes. :) Good luck.

My son just turned 2 at the end of April...it's weird but sometimes if he goes to bed later he'll actually get up earlier. We just moved so our schedule is a little off but before we moved he usually went to bed around 8 or 8:30 and woke up around 6:30 or 7:00. If he had a busy day at daycare he would sometimes go to bed as early at 7 or 7:30...it varies sometimes too because sometimes if he stays up late he will sleep at late as 8 in the morning...but most of the time bedtime is between 8 and 8:30 and wakes up between 6:30 and 7:30 in the morning.

Hi Carla,
As crazy as is sounds, try moving her bedtime up by half an hour increments and see when you hit the sweet spot. Starting at 8 is late for a 21 month old. When my daughter was that age, it was more likely to start at 7 so she could be sleeping well before 8. Someone told me that half an hour trick and MAN did it make a differance. There is a sweet spot where they are tired enough to go to sleep and not so tired that they fight it. Everyone will be happier when you find it.

I also was not the type of person who could leave my daughter to cry it out. I felt very insensitve and mean to do that to a baby - all she wants is me (what does that cost?). And, I rocked her and sometimes still hold her. Bedtime is special to her, she knows she will be read to and get lots of extra "love". She will only be little ONE TIME and in the course of my life, I feel like all the time I can spend with her is worth it.
Good luck!

I recommend the No Cry Sleep Solution books! GREAT advice and practical tips on getting your children to sleep. One important rule of thumb for ALL people (children as well as adults) for healthiest sleep habits - keep sleeping a routine and bedtimes consistant! Weekdays, weekends, summer, winter, vacation, any time - ALWAYS keep it the same. HTH!

Hi. I have a 22 month old. It normally takes me about 30 minutes to get him to sleep. I think routine works well. We always take a bath, eat a snack and lay down. He gets up at 6:45 am. We lay down about 9:00 pm. He takes about an hour nap during the day around noon or 1:00. Good luck. Congrats on the one on the way. :)