Need Help Getting 3 Year Old to Go to Bed?

You may be missing her "window". She may be overtired at 8:30-9:00 and unable to soothe enough for sleeping. Try earlier, like 7-7:30. When my daughter was 3 she would go to sleep around that time, even with napping. Good luck!

When does she nap? My boy was about 3 when he started staying up until about 11:00. We had to take his nap away. If he does nap it has to be right after lunch and limited in time.

More info would be helpful. Do you go in there a lot to tell her to go to sleep? Is she coming out for attention? Is she crying?

I would give her a book and a night light and shut her in the room. If you don't reward her attention, she will get bored and go to sleep or keep herself busy.

My almost-three-year-old is the same way. Try letting her have a night light and a couple toys to take to bed to play with til she falls asleep. As long as my daughter's in bed and semi-quiet, I don't care! I also let her wear some of her dress up stuff if she's really upset about going to bed (no necklaces or things like that of course)

S., your best bet is to have a routine and stick to it. I found that having a CD or tape that runs for 20 - 30 minutes is perfect. Go into your daughter's room and explain that the two of you can read books, tell stories or play quietly together until the tape ends. Once it ends, you will be leaving the room and she needs to stay in the room. Explain that if she is not tired, she may sit in her bed quietly and read books but she cannot get out of bed and you will not be coming back into the room. It's tough the first few nights, but she will get it. If you reset the tape when you leave, by the end of the week she will be asleep before it ends. I am currently doing this with my third child and it has worked like a charm with all of them! Good luck and good nights! : )

What time is your daughter waking in the morning? She should be tired enough to go to bed around 8 pm, if she is getting up by 8 am. If she is sleeping in late, then she will stay up late. Does she nap long in the afternoon? If she is, maybe that should stop all together. Does she know that you will be working on the computer as soon as she falls asleep? Maybe she is just wanting more attention. Try giving her a longer bedtime routine, starting around 7 pm. Start the bath early, read books and make the bedroom light dim while you are talking to her in a low tone. If it's more relaxing before bed, then maybe she'll fall asleep easier and earlier. I hope it works.

My 3 year old daughter was the same way, she would out last all of us. I would fall asleep watching a movie and wake up at 1 in the morning to find her sitting there wide eyed and staring at the TV. We just started one day with telling her she had a bed time and would get a story before it every night. We eat dinner a little earlier so there is time to hang out aferword, and then when 8:30, sometimes 9 rolls around, we go into her bedroom, get her all snuggly in bed, bring in the dog and read her a story. We leave a night light on and tell her if she wakes up in the middle of the night she is welcome into our bed. It took a few days, but now she looks forward to bedtime and even on weekends, when she is allowed to stay up later, falls asleep on her own--her body has adjusted with her new routine.
It is so nice, because now I actually have time to spend with the husband in the evenings, watch what we want to watch, or work on homework (I'm a full time grad student).
Just try it. I thought it would be impossible to get my night owl on a schedule, but she is and the whole family has benefited.
Good luck!

Hi! I have a 2 1/2 year old boy who was a night owl from the beginging! I was so desperate and sleep deprived that I would sleep on his floor in his bedroom while he played around me until 1 or 2 in the morning!! (I don't suggest this!) When we found out we were pregnant, we knew this all had to change! Sometimes cutting out a nap during the day is helpful. But, I truley think that once we got him his twin sized bed (oh so comfy) that did the trick! He really thought it was cool! We still go to bed later than most...(we don't start getting ready until at least 9:45) but, as long as we stick to the same routine every night: change diaper, get P.J.s on, brush teeth, read two books, then, he just knows that it's time to go to sleep! Most nights we will still hear him talking to himself or playing with his stuffed animals but at least he's on his own and usually sleeping by 10:30 or 11 at worst. Like I said, it's still "late" but better than before!! Good luck!

My daughter was the same way. In fact she still is. Eventually she stopped taking a nap..it was always a battle when she was 3 anyway...late in the day too..3 pm or so. Soo, we cut out the nap and started putting her to bed earlier. It's better now, she just turned 5. But honestly most days she would rather sleep in till 9:30am and go to bed after 10...but I make her go earlier when her older sister does. I did do some bribing at the time with polly pocket toys and chuck e cheese visits to get her into bed. I also made sure I woke her up in the morning which stinks because once one daughter goes to school the extra hour of peace and quiet is heaven..but that's the trade off. Some kids just need less sleep I guess!

Does she still take naps? My son started doing that too around 3-1/2 yrs old and it turned out that the naps were causing it - we stopped the naps (which was hard sometimes!) and he would fall asleep right away. I still try to keep him awake when he gets sleepy - like in the car on long drives around 5pm - it's awful, because then he won't - can't - fall asleep until around midnight.
Hope this helps!
-- M. :)

For many kids, they sleep a set number of hours, regardless of when they go to sleep. If your daughter is now sleeping in VERY late because of her night owl tendencies, I would try getting her up ealier. This will probably cause her to be sleepy for a few days until her schedule adjusts, but it should cause her to go to sleep earlier. I actually prefer that my kids (14mo and 3.5yrs) go to sleep late (11-11:30 by the time they are alseep most days) because then they sleep in until 8:30-10. That's much more agreeable to me than getting woke up at 6am by kids who were put too bed very early. They end of getting the same amount of sleep as oher kids, but I figure that I'm up in the evenings, so they may as well be up and then I don't have to get up early! But you have to do what works for your family.

As the mother of eight I've been through this before but the big question is what are you doing different if nothing then you must ask yourself what do I need to change. Your daughter is changing her eating and exercise is growing as is her interest in everything. Does she get up later due to going to bed later? if so get her tired little body up as early as she used to get up she will be cranky but its alright you can handle it for awhile. Try setting some checks on her diet. Is she getting too much sugar too late in the day or at all. Diet does do alot at this age. Is she having any other issues as in her toilet training or general health. Children don't know what is wrong if anything is wrong they just act or react differently. This is also common in this age as just a growth thing. Patients and strict adhearance to routine are your best option if there are no new influences creating this. Parenting is one constant test, going back to school is a breeze compared to the everyday challenges you will have and most are very enjoyable. Good Luck.

I did not hear any naps throughout the day. You need that schedule for sure. After at least one nap during the day, if not 2. I don't remember what is "normal" for that age, maybe you need to do some sort of vigorus activity before bed time. Then a half haour before bed time, dim the lights, quiet the house, light a candle or 2 and turn on a very soft relaxing lullaby (our favs are "Brahms- sleepy time serenade" and "Parents~ lullaby album." I then would get her in her cozy jammies, rub her back and rock with her, then explain that after the bedtime story, it will be time for her to rest in bed, and eventually go to sleep nicely. Sometimes, I let my daughter help pick out what the story will be about, then she is anxious to go and dream about it. So we make up our own.

I have found personally, that if I communicate exacly what my plan is with my daughter,even when she was an infant, she was prepared to go along with it. Kids don't like sudden surprises. Also, routine is very important! Kids need the routine bedtime scenario. It feels safe to them.

Good luck,

A.

Wake little one up bright and early in the morning. Keep her afternoon nap short to an hour or no nap at all. Try to get her involved in physical play in the afternoon at daycare or pre-school. At 3 years old you should be able to enroll her in Headstart pre-school, and they have afternoon classes with recess. About an hour before bed, turn off the lights and get her involved in a pre-bed routine. No sugar. No liquids. Start reading or watch a movie with the lights off. Get her involved in a sedentary activity.

My 2 and 3 year olds have always been night owls. I had to get them into this routine early on. Whenever I get away from it, they will stay up just as late as I do.

I'm a single mom who was working full-time and going to school full-time online as well. It's a hard road to do on your own, but it's worth it. Keep up the good work!

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HI S., I am a stay at home mother of 4 children. Ages, 18, 10, 7, and 4 years old. Have you tried to cut out her nap? Or make her nap earlier? My 4 year old son recently has went thru this. He got tired late in the afternoon, slept a few hours, then wanted to be up half the night. Try keeping her up throughout the day. It may be she is outgrowing the nap. Then put her too bed at around 8pm, after a nice warm soothing bath. I hope this helps. J.

Keep it dark and quiet.
Only tell her once that "It is time for sleep".
Keep your eyes cast down.
Put her back in bed.
If she gets out, put her back without talking.
You will have to do this many times until she gets the idea.
If you are up late doing whatever it will be more difficult...
Dark and quiet are so important.
Have your nightclothes on.
I will say that perhaps soft lullaby-type music might help her to get to sleep.
Make sure that she is not napping too much during the day.
Good luck.

ask your DR about melatonin, when my son was 3 he was doing the same thing. his DR told me to give him 1/2 mg og meletonin...it worked!!!! ask about it!! good luck!

Hi S.:-)
I am a mom to three boys (7,5 and 1 1/2). I start bathtime routine at 7 and they are ready for bed by 8:15. I suggest starting earlier and then sticking to that ALL the time. In my many parenting books I read I heard/read to change the rountine by a half an hour to start (so start at 8:00 the first week and then 7:30 for a week and finally 7:00).

Good luck!

How late of a nap is she taking? often my three year old has a hard time sleeping at night if she naps after 3 pm.

how about soothing music? we have a cd player in our daughters room & we play soft music.

Good luck

Bump the bedtime back a half hour to an hour. Also, cut out naps that go past 4:30/5:00 pm. Her being "wired" may very well be a result of being overtired and not getting enough sleep, or from late naps.

The first time or two, take her back to her bed and explain that it is bedtime now. From that point on, walk her back and say nothing. Just keep at it until it finally works.

Hello S.,
My daughter went through something similar to this when she was ready to stop taking naps. If your daughter still takes naps, might I suggest cutting that out or at least controlling how long she sleeps, like down to an hour vs. 2. When I finally let go of the nap, my daughter went to bed at 7:30 and slept until 7:30 AM. It worked out well for us. Good luck, R.

Hi S.!
My 3 year old grandson does the same thing with his mommy. We, however, usually have no trouble getting him down for the night when he stays with us. We have a set bedtime routine: Light snack at 7pm, no stimulating "horseplay", DVD's, etc. everything is geared toward winding down. Nice warm bath, put on jammies, read 3 bedtime stories, say our prayers and time to go night- night. No options. If they get back up and try to come out to the Living room, they are immediately put back to bed and told it is night night time. Close your eyes and go to sleep. Then I leave closing the door all but a couple inches. I have found they both sleep faster and longer since I removed the night light.
Hope this helps.
Nana of 3

I agree with all the advice everyone else has shared. I have been a mom for 34 years and a daycare provider most of that time. I hear moms of 3 years olds (esp. girls) say this all the time about bedtime. The only things I want to add to the great advice you have gotten is get some of the lavender bath stuff for kids. Also does she watch tv in the evenings? If so make sure it is non violent, non exciting, very calming. The adrenalin rush kids get from todays videos (even Disney) is well...not good. I use Winnie the Pooh, Mr. Rogers, and a word building show pre naptime here in my daycare and the kids drift off.
Betzy B

Does she still take naps? She may be able to eliminate naps or only take them early in the day. I always made my girls rest for 1 hour from 1:00 - 2:00 each day. They could lay on their beds and read books but usually fell asleep. At 2:00 on the dot I would wake them up. I also put them to bed at the same time each night. I established a routine to look forward to. We always started with a nice warm bath followed by p.j.s of course. Then we would find a special spot for our snack. It can be a special blanket or a corner with a bunch of pillows or under a table, anyplace fun. Have a nutritious snack without a lot of sugar while you read a chosen number of books. Our number was usually 3 until our girls started picking thicker books! Be sure and have a few fun songs in there too. Then brush her teeth and it is time to lay down with hugs and kisses. Explain to her that it is bed time and she isn't to get up until the sun is peaking through her window. You will need to stay consistent. My friend put a small fishtank in her daughters room with a light that came on with a timer. When the fish woke up then she could too. It is okay if your daughter doesn't go to sleep right away but she needs to stay in her bed. Let her have a reward in the morning if she does. Whatever motivates her is what reward you use. My girls could care less about stickers but loved Tic-Tacs. I figured a 2 calorie reward wasn't too bad a trade-off to get them to stay in their beds.

Many times kids, my girls included, just get more and more wound up as the night progresses. My girls would be happy but eventually we would end up with a crab in the morning. Sometimes it was me! Be consistent and you will have her settled in soon. Good luck!

Are you reading to her? Sometimes, I work on her creativity and we take turns and make up our own stories.
Have you tried relaxation tapes? The sounds are SO soothing and relaxing. I LOOOVE THEM!
Tried warm milk before bed? Mine love that and I honestly think it does help.
We've had a time of reading, some praying (she gets to talk) and then time for silence & reflecting. If she starts talking too soon, I let her know it's not time yet and she still needs to think....about God and how he protects her, all the things he gives her to enjoy, etc.
I can only think of one or two times where the issues continued. Had this problem for a while, but resolved with some extra time & effort on my part. Honestly, I TREASURE THOSE MOMENTS.

S.,
My 3 year old daughter would play around in her room after putting her to bed so here is what we did and it has really been successful. We start our routine around 8:30 by getting our pajamas on, brushing teeth and reading a book(s) to her and saying our prayers. Once that done, she gets to choose 5 books (or how ever many you choose for her) from her bookshelf, she gets to turn on her little lamp on her night stand and I set a kitchen timer for 15 minutes. In that 15 minutes (or whatever time you think is appropriate) she can look at the 5 books that she picked out or do whatever. Once the timer goes off; the books are put away, the lamp gets turned off and she turns on her music and it is bedtime. There are consequences if she chooses to get out of bed - no special treats or movies the next day. She is at a point now where she wakes up says, "mom, i get a special treat and movie today because I stayed in my bed last night!" Believe me, she doesn't get a movie everyday since she stayed in her bed but if she asked for a treat or movie, I allow her a treat or movie. She understands that just because she stayed in her bed doesn't mean she automatically gets those two things! We do this at naptime too! She has even told me that she DOESN'T get a movie or treat because she got out of her bed!!!! The 15 minutes kind of settles her down before actually going to bed. Give it a try! It has worked wonders for us!!! Good luck!

If she doesn't have a routine, this usually helps. Get her up at the same time every day & put her to bed at the same time every day. Regardless! It trains her body to a certain sleep pattern. Soft sounds like the ocean or a fan help some times too. However, these can become addictive. Also is she getting caffeine in any form...pop, chocolate... It can also interfere with sleep.It affected my kids.