Mother in Law Question - Fort Riley,KS

I call her when I have to. To say Happy Birthday, or to say thanks for something nice that she does--which isn't often! ;)
Seriously, there comes a time where you stop putting out the effort. After 15 years of marriage--I'm there. I let her issues be HER issues.

I live across the street from her. I may talk to her every day one week and then go 2 weeks without talking to or seeing them.

I adore my mother in law. She is the sweetest lady. However, I've never called her up a single time on the phone. I don't know why. I don't think to. I have my own mom and call her if I ever have a question or need advice or want to just chat.

Several times a day and we get together once a week, just her & I for breakfast or lunch just to catch up on anything we may have missed. My mom passed away 3 wks prior to the birth of my oldest daughter & from that day on she went from being my mother-in-law to becoming my mom as well. I love her to no end, although the relationship will never be quite the same & she has respected that from day one. But she had done a phenomenal job w/my two girls and I am so fortunate to have her in my life. I'll admit, things werern't always great, but we worked out our differences and learned to respect one another for my husband's sake and now it's odd when she call her son to even speak w/him!

When my mother in law was alive I called not every day but I would call and try to just chat. She's been gone now for 16 years and I still miss her so my advice would be if you love her and get along why not let her know it by calling once in awhile. You don't have to talk for hours or call everyday but it's just nice to let her know you care.

NEVER however that is due to the type of relationship I have with her.

My MIL and I talked nearly every day. I miss her dreadfully. She was a smart and funny woman. The world is a much sadder place without her.

Cultivating a friendship takes time and effort. If she is worth it or you feel it is worth it then take the time and start by just calling to say hi, guess what your grand baby did today...

I feel like I should try harder with my MIL too. My husband is a terrible communicator and never calls anyone in his family unless it's to babysit! ;) My MIL and I have an okay relationship. It has it's ups and downs, but I think most of the issues are my issues, if you were to ask her, she'd probably have a rosier view of our relationship than I do! I always tell myself that I should call her just to chat, but I usually don't. I do call her if it's for a specific reason, I never have a problem calling any of my in laws for that reason, but otherwise I do sometimes feel guilty for not doing more.

I call her occasionally, but honestly her English isn't the best and it's much easier speaking with her face to face. My Italian is better in person than on the phone, and I can understand her better in person. We talk a lot in person.

I do encourage my husband to call a couple of times a week and have for years. It's been especially important this past year since my FIL passed away six months ago and she's only just now starting to perk up a little bit.

I would call her or text her every week. Just to make her feel closer to you. I live about 20 minutes away from my mother in law. Ever since i don't know we had kids my mother in law has been different. She seems angry we moved and had kids and that I took her son away from her.
I use to actually see my mother in law every monday even stop off at her work which she loved because she was there all the time and asked me too. But, then i started getting the silent treatment. She wouldn't answer me at all when i saw her. She just answered my girls if they had a question. What do you think about that experience? So, i guess if you do nice things or don't do them eventually when the in law sees u they will get annoyed at something. I had the best relationship with my mother in law... any advice?

I talk to my MIL almost everyday. We are very close and get along great. I'm ver fortunate to have been blessed with a great MIL!

I LOVE that you LOVE your Mother-in-law....so many mama's on the site can't seem to say anything good about their husband's mother.

As for giving a call....I think it is up to you. My sister calls my mother EVERY single day, they live five minutes away from each other and have dinner three or four times a week. While they talk all the time, I call my mom a few times a month and we probably talk about 20 to 45 minutes. I feel like we are catching up....BUT I also don't understand what my sis and mom have to say EVERY day? Still, it is up to the two people who are having the conversation. I'm not much for small talk or repeating myself.....We will all get THERE soon enough.

Happy Mother's Day!

Never. (She is wonderful, there are no relationship issues.) We see each other every month or so. We send an email every couple of weeks. She is great, but she is not my mother. I don't feel like I should be obligated to have a close relationship, that doesn't feel natural. She didn't have any daughters, and she seems a little disappointed by this. I just don't think I should have to become someones daughter, that is not my mother. I know that sounds harsh, I really do love and appreciate her. I just can't naturally think of her as a parent...if that makes sense.

You don't mention whether or not she calls you. If yes, then you might want to initiate calls occasionally. If not, then she is probably on the same page as you.

I try to send long "chatty" emails to my MIL every couple weeks. She and I have a different conversation style, which can make things awkward. (She's always trying to turn things into big, worrisome issues...can't EVER keep things light.) Plus, my FIL always answers the phone and the man never shuts up! I feel some responsibility to keep her in the loop, especially in regards to the kids.

I dont know if you have a son or not, but we really appreciate when the DIL or girlfriend calls us and lets us know current events. I call my mother in law about twice a month.... my hub calls her about once a week. She likes to talk to me so she can talk about girly stuff that she wouldnt talk to my husband about.

When we were speaking I spoke to her about once a day.. Now, Have not spoken to her in 4 years..

I don't. I used to call her once a week. Now, THAT is my husband's job. Of course he thinks that I should be making more of an effort...and I did for about the first 10 years of our marriage. Things happened and now I choose not to call her. Of course, my husband has NEVER made any effort with members of my family either....

I love her and call her every other week, sometimes once a week just to chat.

My bio-mother, on the other hand, I call her back when she calls, which is maybe 3-4 times per year.

I got lucky with my MIL :)

I don't know that you should be *required* to! But I'm glad you two get along. You seem to think highly of her. You know better than the rest of us whether MIL is a "chatty" person or not. But *everyone* loves to know she is being thought about and cared for. Why not call her or text her and say, "Just saying hello and I love you"? Those few words mean a whole lot. They could change your MIL's day.

We live less than 15 min from mine and have no contact with her. She's been absolutely horrible to me since day one. Even after we bent over backwards several times and stretched ourselves way too thin to give her money. She disrespects me and my husband, yet insists on trying to be in our son's life. Well, no ma'am.
Sorry, I'm probably the only one on here that will say they have an absolute nightmare for a MIL and admit they have no contact and are more than okay with it.

ETA: I just LOVE how some on here are being so negative towards those of us that don't have good relationships with our MIL's. Why is it the blame automatically falls on the DIL, like it's something wrong with HER? Seriously, some MIL's are just not good people.

Hm. Great question. I'll be interested to see how many others are like me, and how many are not.

I do not call my MIL. Pretty much at all. Unless I am returning a call or need to plan/discuss something specific. We get along just fine. But we aren't what I'd call "close". She doesn't call me either, though. She NEVER calls our house, and always calls my husband on his cell phone. Except when she accidentally calls MY cell phone thinking that it is his, and always sounds surprised that she got me instead. Or if I answer his phone, she gets all confused sounding.... lol. I "get" that with a lot of the younger generation. But she is pushing 70. The woman is of the generation that when you called someone, anyone in the family might pick up the phone. And she knows that we aren't possessive of our cell phones either.

I used to call my mom a lot. Not so much anymore. I always have other people around me, and for whatever reason, I don't like to carry on a phone conversation when others are around. It is weird to me. Like I have an "audience". I don't like it. Never have. So, since the kids or someone is ALWAYS around, I just don't make many calls... my mom included.

It's funny though, because my husband will sometimes call up my mom/dad just to chat them up, lol.

i don't usually call "just to chat", and we have a fine relationship, no issues at all. we touch base occasionally, that's about it. but we travel almost every year to see each other (them to us, or us to them) so we have plenty of excuses to call. between trip planning, and "thank you" and "holiday" calls, we speak pretty regularly...

I talk maybe a few times a month with mine and e-mail chat every week or so, we get along very well. We live about 3.5 hours from them.

I never speak to my mother-in-law unless she's in the same room as I am. We just have different lives and really haven't much to talk about. I'm closer to my own mom of course and still only call her or have her call about once a week.

I talk to my mom 1-2x a day and my MIL 3-4x a week. I've always been very close to both. They live in FL and I'm in KS.