Mommy's Girl

What about helping him to find a special activity that just the 2 of them can do together - something they might both have some interest in and maybe an outing even so you won't be anywhere nearby. They need then he won't be taking away special activities that she loves to do with you. And make it something that she never gets to do with you to make it an extra special daddy thing. I think something that they can do at least once a month to start would be great.

Perhaps you could designate some nights as your husband's nights to put her to bed - no exceptions. Or maybe they could find an activity to do together that is all their own. When she wants to play with you do you invite your husband to play? That could help her see that you value spending time with him and he enjoys playing with her.

Your daughter may prefer your methods over your husband's. Are you quieter or more gentle than he is? Do you include something in the bedtime routine that he doesn't? Maybe looking at the fine details will help you figure it out.

My daughter was very much this way, and as much as she and I butted heads when she was 2 and 3, it was still all about mommy. I found that by making a big deal of her giving him a hug or sitting on his lap, she'd do it more often in order to get my approval and then fairly quickly she did it just because she wanted to. Try saying things like "aw, that's so sweet! Hold on, let me get my camera!" when she cuddles with him.

I also agree with having him be the in-charge parent more often if that's not something he does. It was important for my daughter to realize that daddy took just as good care of her as mommy (and was quite often more fun cuz he didn't worry about silly things like dishes or vacuuming!) She couldn't realize that if I was always around and as a SAHM, I pretty much always was. My husband also started taking her on little outings, to the park or the movies, and that helped a lot.

She's almost 6 now and while I'm still the one she seeks out if she's hurt or ill, she adores her Daddy and gives him an even share of her kisses, cuddles and playtime.

Good luck!

M.

My daughter is daddy's little girl. She waits for him to get home at night and wants to do everything with daddy. Sometimes very occasionally she wants me over her father and as hard as that was for me to accept, she has been this way since she could walk and talk which was early, I had to. I know that she loves me but she gets along better with her father and it could be because she is with me all day but I was the same way with my father. I am sure as she gets older it will change. I don't know how much they do together but maybe they should do daddy and daughter time together, like go out for the day one day a week if that is possible or have bath time or some special time together every night and it might change the situation. Just tell your husband it's okay to feel that way but it doesn't mean she doesn't love him it's just her personality now and to be funny you could say remember when she's a teenager she'll be running to you because mother and daughters notoriously do not get along during that time frame. I hope this helps.

Take a weekend away with the girls or family and let your husband take care of her for a weekend or long weekend. Don't plan it or make food(then it's mommy's not here and I'm in her place), let your husband plan the meals and activities. Without you there they'll bond and be closer. As a bonus he'll probably appreciate you even more.

I would just give it some more time. Do you make a "daddy and me" time? Set aside a time during the day where it is just your daughter and daddy. Have them play a game or take a trip to the store.

Kristi,

Little kids tend to identify most closely with their primary care-giver. They know who butters their bread. It's not personal, it's instinctual.

My daughter "discovered" her father when she turned 3, right about the time her little brother was born.

Just make sure you keep validing your husband's contribution to the family. "Oh, look at this nice pizza Daddy brought home." "Wow, look at the nice dinner Daddy made." Etc.

Advise your husband to stay tuned-in to the openings. Don't push in and don't abandon efforts. She'll "discover" him soon. (Then you will get a break; yippee!)

E.

The one KEY item that I found most helpful in establishing a "bond" between my husband and my kids was MY reaction to all of it. In other words when your child comes to you instead of him...YOU have to be the one to make her know that YOU approve of her going to Daddy. Make sure that she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that it is o.k. with you that she has a relationship with her Dad. Sometimes we as Mom's don't realize how much WE cling to our children and not the other way around. Afterall...we love them more than life!!

They all go thru phases. My daughter did that alot at that age, she's 5 now. Some days she only wants me, some days him. Some days she doesn't get a choice, lol.

I really think that he just needs to make an effort to do the things that she likes to do with her. It's about more then getting a hug when he needs it, it's about making a bond. It's good that he cares so much. I don't think he will have a problem if he just makes time, and uses a little more effort. Just make sure he doesn't spoil her, it's the time he spends that counts the most, not how much he spend, and he doesn't need to cater to her, just do some stuff she likes to do too. Good luck and best wishes.

HI, I have two girls and their father used to travel alot, due to that they only want me all the time. I have found that you need to remove yourself from the equation. not just to another room or activity but from the building. Let him take her to special things just the two of them, either an activity or just a quick trip to the store. She should feel important that no one else can help him like she can. Set up a routine for bedtime that certain things are only done by daddy. My husband loves to do things as a family, even more so because he is traveling alot, but he does admit it is much easier for him with the girls when I am not with them. They are more willing to do things with him, they listen to him and they do not have me to defer to. As things get better between them the start introducing yourself back in. It doesn't always all go away, my 7 yo still looks to me occasionnaly when my husband tells her to do something. The big thing and the hardest thing is to not interfer or put your two cents in. It's his thing to do with her and not yours, she will get used to the change and love it!!

Good luck, that father daughter bond is so special and irreplacable!

I think it could just be a phase that she's going through and she'll change. My daughter was always attached at my hip, but she's 5 now and would prefer Daddy. It could be that you're at home with her all day. My suggestion is that on the weekend if your husband has time, to take your daughter out for Daddy/Daughter time. Since she is always with you, she may need one on one attention from him.

LOL been there done that one. We have three girls and I have two that were very clingy to me and one that was a Daddy's girl from day one. Sometimes it just works that way. Daddy needs to make a date with his girl. He should take her to lunch, or to the park, or maybe just for a walk every day to build a relationship with her. And you need to back off. Encourage her to cuddle with Daddy by taking the time to do some cuddling on the couch with him yourself and inviting her to join the two of you. Things will work out as she gets older. My girls love to hang out with Dad...they go to the high school football games together, they do me&my guy girl scout camp every summer together, he coaches their softball and soccer teams, (he even coached basketball one season!). He goes to every dance show, orchestra concert, and sells girl scout cookies!! He goes out of his way to be involved in every one of their activites that he can. And all that shyness when they were little? hahahaha.... best wishes!