Miscarrage

Updated on February 25, 2010
S.K. asks from Newfield, NJ
20 answers

my girlfriend had a miscarrage then got preg again within a month. Her dr will not bring her in to check her hcg levels because they say she will more than likely lose this one because her lining is to thin. she is scared to death.
they said she should have waited 2 months, her body is not healed. i told her to get a new ob.
what do u think?

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

One of my girlfriend's had a miscarrage and the doctors told her to wait one month before trying again. I would also get a new ob because if she is pregnant then she deserves the best care possible.

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L.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

I agree, get a new ob. My oldest is three and he was concieved 3 weeks after a miscarrage. She becomes high risk. She may also need some meds to help her, but that should not be the reaction of an ob.

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S.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

When a doctor dismisses your concerns it is time for a new doctor. I would see another OB. A doctor told me that I was misscarring with my first daughter and that it was too bad! Turns out the baby was fine. Doctors don't know everything.

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E.M.

answers from Johnstown on

Definitely find another OB/GYN. She is pregnant. Period. There are so many factors surrounding a healthy pregnancy and the condition of the lining is only one of them. Is her current OB certain it wasn't just "a bad implant/egg"? Perhaps it was gender related? I have a friend who had miscarried 5x before 28 weeks...all with girls. She, however, has 3 very healthy boys. Some women can carry one gender and not the other. Life's stressors are another issue...as well as physical demands, etc., etc. I would be looking immediately for a respected dr. who deals specifically in high-risk pregnancies. Best of luck to her!

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C.K.

answers from Harrisburg on

Unfortunately, the info that the ob gave her is correct. I went through this myself a few years back. Had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. Got pregnant again within a month (with twins). Lost the twins at 11 weeks. My OB told me that my chances of losing the twins was very likely because my body hadn't healed yet and sure enough she was right. It doesn't make the loss any easier though. I was devastated! I went back on BC and waited a year before we tried again. I don't know if this length of time is necessary, but I needed it emotionally. (We now have 3 perfectly healthy children) I would not change OBs based on the info they gave her, but I would change if she didn't like the way they said it. Bedside manner and sensitivity are crucial in this situation! She needs a lot of support, regardless of the outcome. I sincerely hope your friend beats the odds and carries to term. Good Luck!

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C.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

Tell her to relax- no matter what she does, she can't change whether she will carry this baby or not. I miscarried and I got pregnant about three months later and miscarried again and I still remember my girlfriend lecturing me about not waiting long enough- that I should have waited six months. Well after the second miscarriage my cycle was thrown off and I got pregnant six weeks later- and guess what, our daughter is now 18 months old. Time wasn't the issue.

In terms of the hcg levels- my doctor never tested those in any of my pregnancies so to me this doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but if it is to her- there is a doctor out there that will test her. She just needs to find them!

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C.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think that her ob should have been more sensitive and told her after she lost the baby that she needed to wait 2 to 3 months to try again. I have a friend that had a miscarriage and she was told immediately not to try again to have a baby until she has had time to heal. Hovever there are lots of siblings out there that are 9 or 10 months apart. I think your body has much more healing to after giving birth than a miscarriage, so there is a chance that your friend will not lose this baby. My prayers are with her.

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

My friend miscarried, was told to wait three months before trying again, and was pregnant within the month - with twins! She just delivered two healthy baby boys (at 36 weeks). I'd tell her to find a new ob too!

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C.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

I definately would get a new ob. We had a similar situation when I went to my first ob appointment and the Dr told me it was ok to drink and smoke. When we left there my husband and I were in shock and quickly changed drs. Later, I had heard horror stories about this dr and his bedside manner at delivery including a 2 day labor by a friend. I was so happy I had changed and found a wonderful dr who was very understanding when I had a miscarriage. Best of luck to your friend! Sometimes life just happens and it was meant to be.

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K.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

my sister in law did the same thing and now has a healthy 1 year old son. she definately needs a new ob or she could go to the ER and just say she has been feeling funny and her period is X days late. they will most likely run the test then.
I hope it all works for her sake.

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A.A.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think along with everyone else that she needs to immediately find a new doctor. And tell her not to give up hope--to proclaim that she will miscarry due to getting pregnant right away is absurd. I miscarried a couple of years ago and my doctor said to wait until I had one or two normal cycles before trying to get pregnant. Even though I thought it would be smarter to wait two cycles, we started trying after one cycle and lo and behold, exactly six weeks after miscarrying I was pregnant again. And now I have a healthy little baby. And I've heard of many similar stories from friends, so she should not despair.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

I don't know... all I know is, I had a miscarriage once (and a D&C as a result), and MY Doctor told me to wait 3 months, before trying again/getting pregnant.

If anything, I think any human being, deserves the right for an examination... to check her health status.
Although, I don't know if medical insurance covers things like that or not... depending how the Doc processes it... ?

have her seek a 2nd opinion.. or see another Doctor. But she has to be clear/open/honest about her previous miscarriage/when it was/and that she is now pregnant, so that she can be cared for properly....
not all Doctors will dismiss a patient/pregnant or not.

All the best,
Susan

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi, S.:
Tell her to call her Dr and ask him/her to refer her to a specialist.
Good luck. D.

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A.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Get a new ob!!! Protocol is protocol, no matter how long she waited to get pregnant again and her HCG levels should be checked.

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S.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I had a miscarriage several years ago, my doc told me to wait 3 months before trying again to let my body heal. I ended up pregnant the next month, and all was well, I have a healthy 15 year old. It is likely better for your body to wait a few months, but that is no excuse for a doc to behave like that.

www.AHealthyLifeForAll.com

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K.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

Yes! Get a new OB. Even IF that is the case, it could have been handled much better than that. You not only want an experienced doc but also one with compassion. You're paying for a service. If you got bad service at a restaurant, would you keep going back, hoping for the best? Or would you choose another place to eat, that not only had good food but good service, kind people? Why would your health and your child's health be worth less?

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat
events and chat within 2 hour radius

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R.M.

answers from Nashville on

Whether she should have waited or not, that is no reason to refuse to see her! I would be outraged. She needs a new doctor asap. Whether she loses this one or not she still needs to be under a doctor's care. I would also file a complaint with the medical board or something. I am not sure what the procedure for that is, but that is absolutely ridiculous that he could have so little compassion for her feelings health. Right here on this page you have people who were told one, two and three months. So it obviously isn't a Rule, just his opinion. Give your friend a hug and tell her to find a new doctor.

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

It seems to me her Dr. isn't very caring, and I would look for another I feel more comfortable with. Although it's best to give your body some time, you can't control the outcome at this point.

I miscarried (first pregnancy) and ended up having a DNC in November. I had a healthy baby girl the following October -which means I was pregnant within two months. She may miscarry again, it's not her fault. It's a waiting game. I do agree- she should find a Dr. she feels cares about her, and if there is tough news or cricism to give, it can be done empathetically!

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S.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

I agree she should fine a new obgyn, at least one with a better bedside manner. She is pregnant, so she should be treated as such, not as someone he assumes is going to miscarry. That is such a crappy bedside manner.

M.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Altho, doubling HCG levels won't guarantee a successful pregnancy, it may provide her with some temporary peace of mind. I would demand testimg.

I've know soooooo many women who've ignored waiting a few months, and had successful pregnancies. @ercentage rates may not be on her side, but there's ALWAYS hope!

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