Need Opinions on When to Try and Conceive Again.

R.,
I am sorry for your loss. I miscarried my first baby on Dec. 4, 1998, just 4 days after finding out I was pregnant. I understand your fears. Shortly after, I started going to a doctor for something totally unrelated. After he learned of my faith, he asked if he could pray for me. I found out I was pregnant about 2 to 3 weeks later (this was 2 months after the miscarriage). Not saying it was the prayer, because I was probably already pregnant. But, when I told the Dr. of the pregnancy I also told him my fears and he reminded me to not be fearful. I had a hard time with that because I had always had some intestinal problems that made me feel like I was cramping. I remember crying one night and all of a sudden it hit me. STOP IT! Why was I going to make myself upset over this and cause undue stress. So, I just asked God to take care of me. I promised God that if he gave me a baby, my baby would know HIM. God ended up blessing me (and himself) with three children after that!
Just remember, have POSITIVE faith... don't let bad symptoms tell you otherwise. I had preterm labor with 2 of my children and also spotting in the 2nd trimester. I got medical attention, but none of that led to a miscarriage. God created everything with His words. We are made in His image and have that same power. It is just that most of us create problems for ourselves because we don't watch what we say.
Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies. Psalm 34:13

God Bless,
C.

I had 2 miscarriages a couple of years apart from each other. I wasn't trying to get pregnant but did. My Dr's didn't want me to have kids but I was blessed with a baby girl. Most Dr's tell you to wait until your bady has completely healed to try again. Being that long ago I think you may possible be able to now. I personally would talk to your Dr. before doing anything to make the chances smaller of having another miscarriage. I am so sorry to here that happen to you. My husband I were devistated when it happened to us.

Hello R. B,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I understand completely what u are going through. I have had 2 miscarriages. The first one in May 2002 and the second January 2005, I had to undergo the D&C procedure both times. 1st time my body just refused to micarry on its own. The second time my body did miscarry on its own,but they wanted to make sure that everything was ok. That one happened on my oldest daughters birthday. With the first loss, I did NOT understand why that was happening to me. I was very emotional and I turned self destructive. It was a very long time before I could handle it. The second time I was a little bit more understanding of why and how. I had done research after the first miscarriage. That still didnt stop me hurting and mourning the baby! And I still do to this day. But I waited for about 5 months before I tried to conceive again. My doctor watched the pregnancy very carefully. Everytime I went in he did ultrasounds to check for the heartbeat. In March of 2007 we were gifted with another daughter. The doctor calls her a miracle baby! lol and to me she is. Most of the time the Doctors will tell u to wait until u have a "NORMAL" period. Mine also told me to wait about 3 months before we tried again. Im not going to say that I wasnt scared the entire time, coz I was. But just wait until you feel that its the right time. Give yourself time to heal.Also just try to remember that what you are feeling is normal and there is NOTHING wrong in that! Sometimes people may say some things that will be hurtful, but they dont mean for it to be that way. Some of them do not understand what your going through. There is a book that helped me its called The Mayo Clinic Guide To A Healthy Pregnancy. I wish you and your family the best!!! I am very sorry for the long reply. Best wishes again!!

It will get better. You can concieve again. I was 6 1/2 mo preg when I lost my 2nd. I waited 1 year and had 2 more after. It did hurt to see other happy moms but I was fortunate to have a tot to keep me busy. It was a very bad pregnancy from the beginning and the child was born with many birth defects. I think God took my angel home because he only gives you what you can handle. 9 years later my chosen hardship came along. My 8yr old son was stricken with cancer. (environmentaly caused) 12 years as a Cancer patient with many hardships to overcome, St. Jude Children's Research Hospital saved his life. He is now a healthy 23yr old studying Mechanical Engineering at LSU. One of the things I've learned is to look around and you will always see someone else with a bigger problem. Sometimes I thought "Why us God", and after when I would walk the halls of St. Jude and see the most heart broken parents who's children were not so fortunate. I was then ashamed and grateful and the same time. I am forever greatful for God giving us the right people and support to give my son his life back. God Bless and look at your others with great joy that they are healthy. V.

First give yourself some to heal and grieve. Because a miscarriage is a painful at least emotionally experience. My aunt finally tried to have children at 40, he first was twins and she miscarried, her second was miscarried, and then had another one after that. Finally she saw a specialist, and although she had a very difficult time, she didnt give herself time to heal physically and emotionally. You will be blessed with your 3rd child, just give yourself some time. It will happen for you. Just no rush and take care of yourself.
Oh, my aunt is now 7 months prego, and has morning sickness like crazy, and since none of the others lasted past her 6 weeks, she is loving it so.
Good luck!!

I understand how you feel. I had a miscarriage last December and some days I still feel so upset about it. I say if you want to have another child then you need to go for it and try to get pregnant again. My twin brother and his wife had 5 miscarriages and they just had their little boy on the 15. She had to take a baby asprin (lose dowse) to help level out a hormone. Have you talked to your doctor yet? Best of luck,
M.

I am glad that you wrote this...On the flip side of your situation, I have a baby (almost 2) that is a little bit older than the one that my nephew and his wife would have had when they had their first of two miscarriages. I feel so bad whenever we are at family events because I see how they look at my kids. I am sad for you and rest assured that everyone else remembers your baby and how old he/she would be too.

I think they waited as long as the doctor told them to wait the first time and then lost another baby. Now they are gunshy and I don't know when or if they will try again.

Good luck and God bless you!

I think that no one realizes how common miscarriages are until you go through it yourself. I lost my baby when I was four months pregnant from a genetic mishap. We knew at 11 weeks that it was a low chance of survival but it was still hard. The truth was that she was a surprise preganancy (we had a one year old when I got pregant) and at the begining I was so worried about taking care of two "babies".... but after the miscarriage it was set in stone that we did want another baby and we tried four months later and have our 2nd beautiful daughter because of it. Since then my sister in law has lost a baby and two of my close friends.... I was nervous to try again but it was worth it.

R.,
First off you have my deepest sympothy.I know how hard it is I had a miscarriage in Nov.2005.It was my 4th pregnancy but 1st for my husband.We were so excited I signed up for eveything online as soon as I found out I was pregnant...Then it happened....we were devistated...He adopted my other 3 kids wso wee also had other children but we wanted one together.We tried again 3 months later like our doctor advised and now we have a wonderful little boy who is going to be a year in Dec. I was also scared to death the whole time I was pregnant but everything happens for a reason.I did a lot of reading on the net about miscarriage and most of the time it is your bodies way of letting you know something was not right with the baby....As long as you are healthy physically and mentally I would try again.It is hard and nothing will ever let you forget completely I still have an ultrasound picture of the baby I lost.But if a baby is what you want try again not all pregnancies are the same! I wish you the best of luck....H.

I am very sorry for your loss, I had a similar situation. After the miscarriage i thought "oh, i would be 5 months pregnant right now" then on my due date I thought "wow, i'd be having my baby right now", then a month later i thought "gee, i would have a 1 month old baby right now" and so on and so on. I was due in April and I got pregnant again in June, it really helped. Not that i forgot about the baby we lost but I guess it just gave me something happy to think about. I was very worried and at times said I never wanted to get pregnant again before I actually did. But being pregnant again was definately the cure b/c once I made it past the point where I had lost the last baby, I really never thought about it again. Having a miscarriage helps people understand others who have been through it and makes you appreiciate morning sickness. Good Luck

Sorry for your loss. We have six children, ages 10, 10 (yes twins), 8, 5, 3, and 1. I miscarried after the twins, and we had another daughter who died when she was 6 weeks old (before our last child). I remember how surprised I was that I was so upset when I miscarried at 11 weeks. Don't worry the jealousy goes away and it's normal right now.

As far as conceiving again...my personal suggestion is to not "try" per se. I don't mean to put off having another one, just to let it happen on its own, in God's time. One reason you may have miscarried was because your body was still recovering from the last delivery. (my quick calculation has you conceiving when your daughter was about 10-11 months) It often takes a year for your body to get back to "normal". Factor in any hormonal things etc if you're still breastfeeding, and it makes for a bumpy ride sometimes. There's nothing wrong with conceiving again immediately, but maybe your body needed more time to strengthen itself also.

Take your prenatal vitamins, exercise, and just trust that God knows what he's doing.

I havent had a miscarrage so I cant help you there. But I have PCOS and I was told that Id never have children. Well I went through jeolousy, and depression. If I went to walmart I had to completly avoid the baby department Because if I stummbled in there I would be depressed for a week. When My friends started having children I had to avoid them because I would catch myself being rude to them because I envied them so. Well that was in 2001. We had our daughter in 2003, And I am currently awaiting the arrival of our second child. The best part is I got pregnant on my own. No treatments. It took us a long time both times. But we did it despite what that Dr told me. Youll get your thrid baby. When its time. Good luck!

I am sorry for your loss. I to had a miscarraige on my third child. When I went to the doctor about it, he told me that most women have a miscarriage on their third child but many don't even know they had one. He gave me a precentage but I forgot. I know it is hard, but since then I have had two more kids. I would say it should be save to get pregnant again. May God Bless You And Your Family.

I am sorry to hear about your miscarraige. I also had one in May of 2006. It is a hard thing to go thru and it stays in my mind always. I have two other children and now I am 7 months pregnant, due Feb. 2nd. I waited a little under one year to get pregnant again. Always check with your doctor first of course. I have always thought of the miscarraige thru this pregnancy - it makes you a bit more nervous. I am sure, though, that everything will be ok, just like with mine. I would feel confident if I were you - you have two other children so I am sure it will be fine. Good luck!

Hi R.,
First I want to say that I am sorry and God bless you. I had a tubal pregnancy and lost my first baby and My friend had a miscairrage 3 days before and lost her first also. Our doctors told us to wait two months before we start trying again and we did. Now we each have a beautiful baby. It was hard during the pregnancy because I was scared the whole time that something was going to happen. You just have to have faith. I was told by my doctor to inform her as soon as I got a positive pregnancy test and to take prenatal vitamins the entire time (even when your trying to conceive). My HCG levels were so low that my son wouldn't have made it. My doctor put me on a hormone (Progesterone) to keep those levels up and it worked! I hope that everything works out for you and I am praying for you.

I teach classes on reproduction and anatomy - most women aren't aware just how many times in their life that they miscarry. It is normal. Nature often provides for the welfare of both baby and mother in this manner. I was aware of one miscarriage a few months after the birth of my daughter. My body was not ready to carry another fetus. I'm so happy about it. God plans it all for our good.

Hello R. B.,

My advice would be to give yourself sometime to heal from your first miscarriage. I totally understand the desire to conceive again but, you want to make sure that you've given yourself sometime to heal mentally from the devastation you encountered.

I would recommend trying next year--that way you've given yourself sometime to heal and you can start fresh. Most importantly, you and your husband can discuss when you're ready for your new baby.

My final advice would be to pray to God for guidance and he'll tell you when you're ready.

I hope this helps. Take care.

D. B.

First, I'm sorry for your loss. I delivered a stillborn at 31 weeks in July, so I am in a similar situation. There are a lot of good books out there, but one that was recommended to me was "Trying Again
A Guide to Pregnancy After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss". Only you know when the time is right. Follow your heart and lean on your husband for support. Good Luck to you.

I believe to the best thing is to ask your Dr and keep in mind that a lot of variables (Im 41) go into when you should try to have another baby. I was told that we could try as soon as the next cycle came after the D&C.
I too missed carried a couples months ago and still find myself becoming VERY sad and EXTREMELY jealous of seeing all the pregnant women and I just know sometimes I know I have the most ugly look on my face when I look at them.. so I have to be concience of that.
I have a 3yr old and have been trying to concieve for over 2 yrs. And this was my second miscarrage. We even went to the fertility Dr and was told that the next thing was IVF and donor eggs, which we did not want.
Anyway, its hard and I wish you the best and know you are not alone in ANY of the feelings your are experiencing.

R.,
So sorry about your miscarriage! I had one in july and I was pregnant again in september. So far everything is going great. I just figured that there are so many reasons for a miscarriage and you shouldnt be afraid to try again. I hope all goes well for you.
E.

I have 2 teeneagers and in 2004 I had a miscarriage during my 2nd trimester. It was very painful, but my doctor gave me the advise of waiting 1 year before trying to concieve again. It was almost a year and a half later when I became pregnant again, and now I have a very healthy 14 month old little girl. I know that it is scary to think you may have to go thru another miscarriage, but most of the time everything turns out just fine.

I had a miscarriage in 1994, and one and a half months later got pregnant again with my youngest son. I was worried the whole pregnancy that I would lose him. My miscarriage had been due to fibroid tumors in my uterus. The doctor told me I would probably not me able to get pregnant again after my miscarriage, so I wasn't trying to get pregnant again, but I wasn't trying NOT to either. I was not on any birth control. We didn't tell anyone I was pregnant until I was four and a half months along. Whether or not it is safe for you to get pregnant depends on your own health. But, again, I was told I couldn't and I did. So, if you want another child, I say go for it.

Hello R.. My name is S. (43), my DH (42) and I have been trying for 2 1/2 years to conceive. I have 4 miscarriages and the specialist finally discovered after the 2nd m/c that I have Antiphospoholipid Antibody Syndrome, which is a blood clot disorder. We are finally expecting our miracle baby girl, I am 6 1/2 months pregnant. My suggestion on ttc, is you should be okay to try now. Our specialist recommended waiting for about 2 to 3 cycles before ttc after a miscarriage. I wish you nothing but the best in ttc.

I had a miscarriage and now have a beautiful baby boy. I didn't have any other children and it was really hard on me thinking I might not ever. It took me a year afterwards to get pregnant. For awhile I was scared to be pregnant. Try not to put pressure on yourself. It creates undue stress. You don't even realize how much you can be putting on yourself; which keeps you from conceiving. Just enjoy life and be happy and it will come. I know what you are going through but hang in there.

I had a miscarriage too. It helps to know that there may have been something wrong and that is the reason God took it away. It will hurt for a while and periodically you will wonder about it. Go ahead and get pregnant again. The worst part is wondering if it will happen again. But a new baby sure takes your mind off of it. With a new baby you don't have time to think about it plus you are so busy looking at the perfect little angel you have in your arms that thinking about the miscarriage will be the furthest thing from your mind.

Hi R.

I am sorry to hear this. I know you are going through a hard time. The first time I got pregnant I had a miscarriage on Easter...so easter is always a sad time for me. On the other hand, I now have 2 beautiful boys. Most of the time they tell you to wait about 3 months before trying again...but I think it depends how far into the pregnancy you were and if you had to have a dnc.
I just had to come to terms with the fact that God did not think that was the right baby for me. Our bodies just know.
I got pregnant 3 months after my miscarriage (it was a surprise). You should always ask your dr, but I hope you find the peace you need to have the 3rd child you desire.
J.

Hello. Sorry for your loss. I would recommend you wait at least 3 to 6 months before actively trying again. Since you have had two other children the likelihood that you will have another misscarriage is low. Make sure before you try you have a check up with your OBGYN and start taking PNVit. This will ensure a good start. After you have a positive pregnancy test then ask your Doctor to draw a progesterone level on you and a quantitative BHCG (preg. hormone) If your progesterone level is low, then your doctor may want to supplement. This will give you a better chance of having a viable pregnancy. Always ask questions, it helps the provider understand your concerns and lets them know the importance this preg. is to you. Good Luck

J. WHCNP