Midwife - 2Nd Visit, Late Again (2Nd Time)

Just keep in mind what she does for a living... sometimes you can't tell a birthing woman "Wait a few minutes - I need to call my appts I'll have to miss!"

When you talk to her again, ask her if she has a back up Midwife.

Ask her how many births she's missed.... the right answer should be none or veryyyy few. Then ask why she was late, AND why she didn't call to let you know.

Oh....I work in the maternity ward at a hospital and I hate to tell you this, but people who are in the business of delivering babies can't always be on time.
In fact, in the lobby of their actual office, there is a sign that says,
"We will do everything to accommodate you for your appointment, but please be patient if your provider is at the hospital with another patient. We don't intend to make you wait and will try to have you see someone else for your appointment if necessary".
Babies come when they come. You would faint if you knew how many people juggle the birthing of babies.
What you need to do is talk to your midwife about the possibility she will be with someone else at the same time, especially if you are planning a home birth. No one knows when a child will choose to enter the world and there needs to be plan B. I can promise you, at least where I work, the doctors and midwives find every single birthing experience special and a priority. They really do their best.
She is one woman. You wouldn't want her rushing through your birth because she has to be somewhere else for a prenatal appointment.
I'm just saying, if you have chosen to go this route, you need to understand and have a plan with her. It sounds like this late in the pregnancy, you've only scheduled two visits so neither of you are really familiar or have a routine in place yet.
I would talk to her about your concerns.
I didn't have my kids at home, but it's routine for moms to meet with other practioners in the same office in case the baby comes when the initial one isn't available. By not available, I mean things happen like emergency C-sections or a baby coming 4 weeks early. Things do happen, so you need a back up plan. For sure.
At my hospital, we can go days with no babies and then all the sudden there aren't enough rooms on the ward for them all.
If you have a seasoned and dedicated midwife, you have to know that she will do everything she can to give you the best birthing experience. And, since there are variables involved, you have to ask the "what if" questions so that you feel at ease with things.

I wish you the best. I know it will all work out.
Let us know when your baby arrives!

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Since she is coming to you (and you will be paying her), it is common courtesy to give some sort of heads up if she's going to be late. If she was delivering a baby, then I wouldn't expect her to take time out from that mother to call, but she could call as soon as she is on her way.
But if she is always late coming from another appointment, that could be a sign that she needs to work on her time management skills. Find out why she was late, and ask her what you can expect on a regular basis. If this is a common occurrence you may want to find someone else. You don't want to be in a home birth with a midwife you can't expect to come on time.

Chances are she was held up delivering a baby , that line of work it has to be expected , when she is delivering your baby she will likely be late for another moms appointment

I would try to find out why she was late!

Here is the think... if she was late because she was off delivering a baby--- GOOD, that means when you are giving birth, you'll be #1 priority. If she was late because she was out to lunch... i would see if you can find some references from other mothers of her care.

It think is normal in such a frenzied profession to be occasionally late... but You should probably find out what your "backup plan" will be if this baby comes... and she cannot get out the door!

Good Luck to you!
-M.

I fired my vet for less. I would not want someone at the birth of my child who couldn't make it to an appointment but moreso couldn't keep track of our number or bother to call us. That's poor professionalism, and I would not want that kind of ball dropping when my kid was being born. She should have at least called. Your time is important, too.

In my limited experience, if they're late, it's usually because they were at a birth.

Ask her who her back-up is and ask for their contact info just in case. If yours isn't coming in the time you need, it's okay to request that she send her back-up. My midwife had said that second birth tends to be 1/2 as long as a first birth. My second was 1/4 as long!

I would express to her your concern. If she can't address it reasonably, in your opinion, go with someone else. But I also agree with the ladies below - those in the birthing business tend to run late. My OB, who I adore, is almost always late. One time, after waiting for an hour, he apologized, and I said, "I don't come to you because you're on time, I come to you because you're a great doctor." I don't think that I made him feel better about being late, but to me, he's worth it. I've been to some crappy doctors, and if they're late, I get super annoyed. You have to decide for yourself if she's worth it.

Good luck!

Well...if she was attending the birth of one of her other clients then I can completely understand her being late.

My ob is a solo practitioner. There were times when he would be super late to my appointment. Knowing how he operates - when he is with me he gives me all the attention in the world and doesn't rush me one bit - I had absolutely NO problem waiting for him to get to my appointment because I know he's not one of those guys to try to hurry things along when a woman is birthing.

However, his staff knows where he is and what he is doing and if he is going to be late they always let me know why so I could decide if I wanted to stick around or reschedule. Your midwife should give the courtesy of letting you know if she has a reasonable excuse as to why she is running late.

Seriously?!?! (In regards to her actions, not your question.) That is ridiculous. IMHO - it's a resounding NO!

No-I would not use her. You're having a baby-not a litter of pups.

In my experience, people who work with pregnant and birthing women tend to run late. I've had long waits in OB's offices, for sonographers, and with midwives. But the homebirth midwives I've worked with will all drop everything to get to a birth.

If you've checked references and her clients are satisfied, I would feel comfortable using her and knowing that she gives every client the time she needs at each appointment.

Happy birthing! I've had two homebirths and am planning a third in August, and I wouldn't choose to do it any other way.

Did she give you a reason for being late? Was she coming from another birth or appointment? Was she caught in traffic? Does she call when she is going to be late? I am a midwife and also will probably be late for my own funeral.
If you like her and are comfortable with her then her being late should not neccessarily be a reason to get rid of her. Talk to her about it and express your concerns.
Also, unless you deliver really quick she probably won't miss the birth since labor takes several hours.

I had my first child with an OB and then baby 2 and baby 3 were homebirths. My OB was never on time. I had to sit in his office for at least an hour every time. I don't think its right because everybody's time is valuable. Just talk to her about it.

I am late in the game chiming in on this, but here's my two cents. You need to tell her that you are concerned with her ability to be on time. If this woman is going to have the intimate role of helping deliver your child, you need to be able to have this conversation with her. Once you've done that, let her know that your expectations are that if she is going to be more than xx (whatever number you are comfortable with) minutes late, that you'd like her to call. I think that's more than a fair request. With only six weeks to go, that doesn't leave you much time to find a new midwife, so if it were me, I'd go this route first.