ME Time - Elizabeth,NJ

I have found that the only way that I get ME time is to have something definite on my calendar. As you said, I decided that I also needed a hobby. I signed up for some cake decorating classes at a local craft store (I think you would have Michaels, Joanns, and AC Moore somewhere near you). (I live in Ohio now, but grew up in Bayonne, and my whole family is still there). So, that way, I have two hours every Thursday night that is MINE! It is just a chance to talk to adults, get away from my kids, and have some peace. I am not sure how much I will actually use the skills, but I am learning something new at least. Since it is a set date on my calendar, and I paid for it, I don't cut out on myself on the last minute. The craft stores usually have cake decorating, scrapbooking (maybe a good choice to document your little ones life), beading, sewing, etc. Another good idea is to find a friend to go with, no matter what your choice is - you are much more likely to go to something if you have a set person to go with, I find that particularly true in going to the gym - if I did not have a partner, I would always find an excuse not to go!!!

First, I agree with Kate, if your husband is getting all kinds of HIS time and you aren't doing things as a family unit, you need to start there. Otherwise,

One of the best things I did when we moved here (cross country) and knew no one is to use my hobby as a way to meet new people. I scrapbook every Friday night at a local scrapbook store. Most of the stores in our area charge a small fee of say $10 - 15 for the evening (5ish to midnight) and this includes a place to work, dinner, beverages, and snacks. If you want to meet woman with children, this is one place to go. If you have never scrapbooked, stop into a store and ask the owner/manager for what you need for the basics. Yes, it can cost a lot of money to scrapbook IF you just buy stuff that you like, but do not use. If you only buy things you need AS YOU GO, it is much more affordable. Many of us have found this out the hard way. :)

My weekly nights out have given me a core group of friends that I socialize with through-out the week (on the phone, email, play groups, etc.), an automatic no questions asked night out and a chance for my husband and daughter to have a night to themselves. Everyone looks forward to it.

Another place to meet people is to join a mom's group, play group, or local school affiliated kid/parent class (we have them here in MN). I've met some great moms that I've become great friends with.

Good luck and I hope you find the outlet you are looking for. :)

Have you tried joining a gym? The YMCA usually has great programs for adults and children.
I know how you feel. We moved to the suburbs and all of my friends live about 30 minutes away. It gets pretty lonely just hanging out with the kids.

You know, just because you are Mom doesn't mean your husband can't take care of the child so you can go get your nails done. You deserve and need time to yourself even if it's just to sit at the library for an hour and read in peace. We all need to take care of our physical and mental well being in order to continue taking care of the rest of the family. You need to sit and have an open honest discussion about this with your husband and tell him about your feelings of depression and isolation. If he is unwilling to pitch in, maybe you should seek counseling. If the depression persists, seek counseling anyway for yourself. Being a Mom, wife and person that works full time is really hard, and sometimes just plain sucks. It's ok to feel that way, but you need to try to do something to help yourself and family. As for hobbies - what did you like to do BEFORE husband and child? Get your ideas from that!

The picture I get from your post is that your husband does nothing other than go to work & go out with his friends , is this the case? What do you do on weekend , do you do anything as a family and he helps take care of his child?

If my interpretation is right then I think you need to sit down and have a talk with your husband about him doing his share of looking after his child so that you can have an hour to yourself , even if you go to your bedroom and read a magazine.

I am not sure what to say. When we as mommies decide to start a family
we kinda don't have the ability to be alone often. Children are a full time job. The more children, the more work.
For me, me time is taking a shower alone, using the bathroom alone, running to the store to pick up a few things alone, cutting the grass alone when my husband watches the kids (because I like to do the yard work).
I miss my kids when we are apart, even if I am outside.
I like it when they go places with me.
I even homeschool all 3 of them.

You said that you have a full time job and commute ~ for me that is all day away from my kids. A hobby is a great thing to have but please try to give your little one and husband more family time with you so that they can feel overjoyed with love.
Think about a hobby that you can do at home, like reading, writing, painting, arts and crafts and so on.

I am sorry that you are feeling jealous of your husband and his neighorhood and friends and family around. Try to make friends with your husband' friends girlfriends or wifes.

Maybe you need to talk to your Dr. and see about getting on some med's because of the depression.

I wish you the best and take care and good luck with the house! I know that it does help your mood and for everyone in the house to be in a clean enviroment.

I know that it is not easy, but you can do it.

= )