Please don't give up on your marriage. Your husband sounds like a great man, father and husband.
That being said, I am in your same shoes. Same feelings. Same issues. I know my husband is a great man and father, yet I feel like nothing he does is good enough. I apologize for my outbursts all the time and cry about my reaction because I know he doesn't deserve it, and quite frankly, I'm scared that one day HE will have enough and leave me.
Yet I can't explain my emotions and I can't control my outbursts.
I realize this is an issue I have. I really feel that throwing children into the mix (especially so close in age) really causes so many changes so fast that our brains don't know how to deal with it all... causing us to feel overwhelmed 24/7.... causing us to be mean and bitchy and unhappy.
I have realized that when I make time for ME time, I feel much more in control of my life. I recently signed up to a women's only gym that offers classes with other women my age AND free childcare while I work out, because it kills 2 birds with one stone: Socializing and working out/feeling better about myself.
Sometimes, just getting out of the four walls that are your house makes all the difference in a person's attitude.
I don't have much advise to offer. Perhaps reading this and knowing that there is other moms like you out there will help in some small way.
I am a mom of 4 children, ages 5, 4, 3 and 2 1/2 months and have been married for 8 years...