Mama in Distress

Hi J.,

The short and sweet of it? Go back to your doctor or get a new doctor. If you cannot afford that, go to your nearest mental health facility. You need to tell them that the meds you are on are not only not working but are having adverse effects.
I am glad to hear that you have people around to help you with the kids because hopefully they will continue to until the right medication is in your system fully.

Good luck to you and, if you EVER need to talk or vent, email me. I am a member of NAMI and understand a lot.

B.

Dear J. D

It sounds like you are having a burnt out
of yourself.
All those you have taken care of before
has finally caught up to you.
All those emotion and feeling are just
wanting to stop and rest for a while.
I know That happen to me.
I was the oldest of seven and I helped alot
with cleaning and watching them grow.
I was my mom's little helper.
But now I am a Grandma and see my
grandchildren growing.
I try to help when I can.
I too had a spell of raising my own.
They are now adults and I seem to come out
of that bad moment in my life that you
are facing right now.
I set down and do alot of writing
Been doing that for a long time.
I do it to see who I really am and what I can do.
Maybe you will find something you like to do
with yourself.
You know give yourself attention for a while.
I too was on medication.
I am there again and enjoying all
those around me.

God Bless
Vicki W.

You poor thing and it is not your fault!

Everybody else has offered great advice so I just want to mention a couple of other things.

Get out and walk. I know it sounds horrible and you just want to crawl back under the sheets or veg on the couch. But, trust me, just force yourself to take a short walk each day and notice that your mood will lift a little during the walk. Push the baby or babies with you, if you want to, or go alone.

Write down one thing you are grateful for at night. Each night read the list and add one thing to the list.

I hope you feel better soon.

Post partum depression can last for quite a while. I'm not sure that giving yourself time as you have been advised is the best thing. If the medication is not working, is there another one that you can try? In addition to medication, there are some other things that can help lessen depression. One thing in particular is getting outside every day. We need vitamin D from the sun and it also has been shown to improve mood. Exercise is also good for boosting your mood. I hope you can try some of these things so you can get back to being yourself and enjoying your children. Do not lose hope and take it one day at a time until you feel more like yourself.

Hi J.
I think you feel what most moms feel at some point in their children's lives. It sounds like depression and you may need to have your meds adjusted or changed. Therapy may be another option. Maybe you just need to talk out your feelings to dig down inside and pull that "smothering mother" back out. I don't doubt that that person is still within. Stress and the lack of help at home with your husband gone for periods of time for work I believe can make a mother in your situation feel overwhelmed. I also believe that you are a caring and loving mother - you just need to find her again. I honestly don't think time is the issue.

Good luck, P.

Baby dolls are not babies. I think parenting is difficut and somtimes I don't feel like doing it. Your not alone. Maybe you should have your female hormones checked by your OB. I take Yaz it is a BC pill. It has helped me quite a bit. Your old self is still there she will come back soon I promise. I love my child but sometimes I just want to run away. My mom admits she felt the same way. Talk to your mom she may have been through it too. If not she is a saint.

I agree with the others, exercise, eating right, vitamins, take time for yourself, fulfill your spiritual needs, also go to your OB you might have the wrong depression medicine or it might be your thyroid. Find someone you can talk to and help you through this time in your life.
Financially go to www.daveramsey.com, he is a great financial coach, also has a tv and radio show.
You can get your old self back and be happy, it takes one day at a time. You can do this...I'll send up a prayer for you.

When I feel down I keep a journal. Now it is my blessing journal. I write at least one good thing out of the day. It may only be that you got up and brushed your teeth but its a start. This really helped me. Don't write negative stuff just find something good.

J.,
I just want to give you a hug! It sounds like you could use one right now. It's normal to have feelings like this. I know I feel like that sometimes still, but my kids are 13 and 8! Yikes! We all need time alone, but we also have a need to be around people. Your hormones are really doing a number on you. The important thing is that you recognize there's something wrong. You know yourself well enough to know that. I urge you to see your doctor as soon as possible to get a professional opinion. Tell him/her everything you posted here. Although I'm not a cheerleader for taking meds regularly, it sounds like you can benefit from them--which means your babies can, too. Meds may be the little push you need to regain the balance that was lost along the way.
I highly recommend two more things:
1)Get some regular exercise each day, like popping the kids in their stoller and taking a scenic walk or hit the gym for an aerobics class of your liking. Either way, you're changing the scenery, getting fresh air and releasing the 'happy feeling' endorphins. This is vital to feeling better. All you need is 30 minutes! The side effect is.....losing weight. Not a bad thing, right?
2)Eat more veggies and lean proteins. Ease up on any fatty junk foods like ice cream, chips, cookies and fast food. They only slow you down, make you feel bad afterward and give you plenty of empty calories, sodium and fat.

You will feel much better after about 2 weeks of making little changes. Start small, substitute lower fat items for the fatty ones. I love ice cream, but I opt for all fruit popcicles or fudgecicles. Try steaming veggies and sprinkle them with Mrs. Dash seasoning. Grill or broil meat instead of frying. All these little things add up to better results.

Soon you'll be back to your regular loving, nurturing self. Don't beat yourself up over this anymore. You're a good person and have plenty of love in your heart. Go and seek the key that unlocks the floodgates. You'll be in my prayers.

I suffered from depression and fibromyalgia for many years after my girls were born. Then I learned about all the chemicals in our foods and it changed my life. I removed all artificial ingredients from my diet, stopped eating white flour and sugar, MSG, trans-fats, high-fructose corn syrup, and I drink lots of filtered water and de-caf green tea. Also, I've learned that aspartame can cause depression and bi-polar symptoms. I know this sounds overwhelming, but take it slow - it took me 6 years - and every year gets better. Look at www.feingold.org to learn about chemicals in foods. God bless.

I didn't read all the responses but this sounds like Post-partum Depression to me. Please go see your DR and don't let him or her push it off as being tired. PPD should be taken very seriously.
Good luck
Pat

Get help!!! You mentioned you have had trouble with depression and have tried medications...how long have you stayed on one med? Is your regular doctor prescribing them? It sounds like you need to see a counselor/therapist/mental health professional. There is NOTHING wrong with you...you just need a little help getting through this point in your life. I have three boys...turning 4 in Jan, 3 in Jan (so I know where you are coming from!) and 17 months. If you do not have health insurance for mental health services, call your local mental health center for help. Where are you located? I have a list of all the centers at work. Are you able to get away (even if it's just the grocery store) with just one of your kids? Two that young is so overwhelming...maybe one on one time would help you bond with each a little better. I hope I can help...you are not alone!

I had a similar problem about a year and a half ago. I have older kids they were 11 and 9 at the time. I was always angry with them and didn't even want them around. I was actually furious. I have homeschooled them always and my doctor suggested I put them in school, maybe it was just too much for me. I explained to her that this was not me! I had never felt that way before and I didn't like this person. So she put me on progesterone cream. Within a few months I was back to normal and am happy to be with my children. The progesterone cream had no side affects either. Talk to your doctor about this possibility, it can be as simple as having your hormones out of balance.

Fish oil helps replenish what has been depleted in our brains when pregnant and afterward, and can help prevent post-partum depression - so if you already have it I'm sure it could help. I'm pregnant, and my ND (naturopathic physician) advised that I take 6 softgels a day while pregnant. She says the fetus is a "parasite" (ha ha) and sucks it all right out of us. Two in a row would really have done it to you, not to mention all the extra stress in your life.

Consumer Reports tested many brands of fish oil, and found that they were all basically equivalent, with none being higher than others in heavy metals (mercury...), so they said your best bet is to get the cheapest ones (at Sams or Costco). Sams has a bottle of 400 for under $10. Amazon has the same bottle that's sold at Costco (400 for about $12 I think). It sure couldn't hurt, and just might help!

You might try spending time away from the family - by yourself. Maybe take a book to the park or go to the library and get back in tune with yourself. Kids can make us forget that we use to have a life and that we need time to ourselves. When I am having a real bad day, I watch something like John and Kate plus 8 or a show that shows the trials of other families raising sick kids etc. It really puts my life back in prespective! Good luck.

Have you talked to you OBGYN about this? this sounds like Post Pardom depression. I experienced that with my son after he was born and it sucked. I was lucky in that the medication did work. It turns out that my seratonin levels never came back up after delivery and I have been struggling with it for 2.5 years now. I recently went back on Zoloft but I'm thinkin of changing mine too.

There are several different things you can try. Ask your doctor to maybe refer you a therapist. It sounds so scary and "that's for crazy people and I am NOT crazy". You're not crazy, but you do need some help. I have found that the simple act of being away from my son and husband and talking to someone who doesn't really know either of them, really helps. I talk to my friends but they always take my side and that doesn't really help.

Hang in there and for real, go talk to someone and find out what other options are open to you. Ther are still days when I want nothing to do with my husband or son even though I love them both very much.

First you need to realize you are not alone and you are NOT a failure or disappointment! You're dealing with life at a very early, and fast time. It was overwhelming for me to have my children and they were 3 years apart! My husband is active duty and stays gone 98% of the time. I've always had family close and even they can be an added stressor. I highly advise going back to your doctor for a change in medication, depending on how long you've been on it and the results that you've had. I also highly, highly recommend counseling. You need to have someone from the outside looking in to help you find better ways to deal with your life. No one has all the answers when them become parents. And it's even worse when you are the only parent around all the time. It takes away from YOU. Have you thought about working at all? I have a great business that has helped thousands of women to become strong, confident people and make an income that helps the family each month. You definately need to address the depression first, but look at doing something for you...an exercise program even. Exercise is a great stress reducer and has been proven to help with depression. You have so much going for you, please don't give up and push the docs if you have to. Sometimes they are overwhelmed and may say you are just having "mommy blues." It's a much more serious situation so stay on them. I wish you the very best and if you ever need to talk, just send me a message. I'll be more than happy to listen. God Bless

This is clearly post-partum depression and very common. The first thing you need to do is stop feeling guilty about it. You are a good mom, you just have a condition right now which makes it hard to find enjoyment in your children (or anything). If the medication has had an adequate trial and is still not working, talk to your doctor about a different one. It is common to go through 2 or 3 before you find one that works for you. In the meantime, you could use some good counseling, preferably by a psychologist knowledgable about women's health. Health insurance should cover most of the fee. If it is still cost-prohibitive, you may find free or reduced rate counseling though a church or united way agency. Ask your OB/GYN for recommendations. They encounter this all the time.

It will pass. Don't beat yourself up. Good luck.

I totally understand how you feel!!! My children aren't as close in age as yours but they are only 20 months apart so its almost the same! I always feel like im angry and need a break!! I have a one year old and an almost 3 year old who is a complete terror!! I think the best thing for both of us would be getting time to ourselves!! If you have time to breath, you will be more happy and relaxed for your kids:) My mom has 10 kids!!! This was her advice to me. She said join the ymca, since they have free childcare. She also said to check into mothers day out programs. Both of these programs have scholarships available if they aren't in your budget. I hope this was helpful!!

Please stick with your medication and see another DR if you don't think the one you have is understanding. It sounds like post partum depression and that is nothing to play with. Once you get regulated meds, you will start to feel like your old self and can enjoy your babies and your life.

I am sorry to hear that, I have been there.
Maybe try to find some kind of community, church or mom's group. Definitly find a therapist.
If needed go back to work PT, that might help.
Good Luck, this will pass

HI J. D,

Girl, get yourself to the doctor. With all of those children so close in age and being pregnant, your hormones are definitely working overtime! You didn't mention how old you are, but any woman of any age would be a little frazzled given your situation. I'm not sure how much they can do for you while you are pregnant, but I definitely would give it a shot. There's nothing wrong with admitting that you're having a little trouble being superwoman! You know something isn't right, you are not yourself and you owe it to yourself and your family to get things back in balance. If the first doctor doesn't help, get a second opinion. This is something you can't help - it isn't your fault, but you can "fix" it and get the help you need. Good luck! L.

Hey Girl, You are not alone! So many women go through this. It sounds as though you are very stressed out. Its amazing how stress can do crazy things to your body and mind. I've been there. Two years ago my husband started his own company (I have two boys as well) There was lots of stress going on in our house. I felt so alone, depressed and sick. No doctors could figure what was wrong, they kept wanting to put me on antidepressants, they didn't work. Finally I found this practice called Insight Family Health Center. They specialize in woman's hormones and a bunch of other stuff. It took two months to get in and it was worth the wait. I finally feel like a normal person again. They are located on 3175 Wrightsville Avenue in Wilmington and their phone number is ###-###-####. Give them a call, eat healthy and exercise. Hang in there and don't be so hard on yourself.

Hi,
My suggestion would be a therapist; if you can find a psychiatrist, they can work w/you on medication, as well as talk through your feelings. I've had to use counselors a few times throughout my life, and it's always been a help to have someone w/an objective opinion to talk to. I can definitely understand not feeling ready; it's taken me 5 years to get to a point where I felt like I was mentally/physically/emotionally/financially ready for another child. Don't be too hard on yourself, but definitely seek out some help before it gets worse.

Best of luck!
D.

Do not "give it time". Call your doc immediately and tell him/her that whe you are on is not working and you would like to try something else. Many meds work for some and not for others. Do not feel guilty, just be sure to get help. It is normal and it is common but it cannot be left untreated. Call today! :o)

J. D,

I would recommend that you go get a physical with your Dr..NOW . Don't let your depression get any worse-you owe it to yourself and your babies. I think you are right, your medication may not be working and you need to get reconnected with the world. I am a mother of four and know how stressful and somewhat isolating motherhood can be(especially when they are little) NO ONE is the perfect mother!!! But then again, no one is the pefect ANYTHING!
But what babies/kids need and crave is a happy mother! Take care of yourself first and then you will be able to handle the demands of having two small children. Please talk to your Dr. right away and do not waste another day!!Good luck!!
N.

PS I have found in my 14 years of motherhood that the women that worry about not being good mothers usually are the good mothers!!

You need someone to talk to about this. This is a pretty serious thing. I'm not sure what your religion is, but you could always try talking to God and praying that you'll find peace and the strength to get over this.

Hi J. D,

My heart goes out to you because I've been there. I had 4 kids in 4 1/2 years - the last were twins. We had a lot of other stresses too - like you. I held it together as best I could for the first year of the twins life, and then lost it. Its a year later and I'm doing better. I did start on Lexapro - and antidepressant and anti-anxiety med. I never thought I had anxiety issues since all of my issues were very real, not made up. But, I think that was a big thing for me. I'm guessing you really need support thru counseling, a good friend, a mentor, someone. I also struggled with the dissappointment I felt from myself and so many others. I always felt judged by other moms and my parents, inlaws, etc. I will contact you privately so we can talk more, but I wanted to respond so other moms know that there are lots of moms who are not even really surviving.

its so nice to hear someone else feel this way. not that its good but im the same way. find a counselor and talk to them go once a week it will help. i dont have the money or time to do it so i just take my pills and try to be as nice as i can lol

Oh wow...J., I think we all go through the "Mama in Distress", some take longer than others to snap out of it. The truth is you were not ready....its not saying that you dont have the potential in being a good mom but the timing was wrong. As women in most cases we have to accept that once we conceive our life changes. We are the ones that carry the home. I am married and I have a child and although my husband is a good man, he is not around because he is at work. His life didnt change, all he has to do is work and make sure he brings home the money...my life changed because I have to work and take care of our daughter. What I am trying to say is that its not wrong for you to want to be left alone...your human, that doesnt make you a bad mom, "mommies need a break too"...its great that you are able to talk about it and not keep it inside. Time will make things better but its a mind thing to me. Sometimes I get depressed being a mom, when I have to do something all my daughter wants to do is cry,,, nothing works to calm her down, then she gets into everything..."I get sooo angry and wish she would just be quiet and sit down"....but when I look at her and she smiles I cant help but to smile too. They are innocent and they are going to get into things. I think you need some alone time...I get that and it helps. My grandma will take my baby for about two hrs a day when I use to stay at home with her and I will go do what I have to do...you need time for you, away from them...but make sure to get help, I dont think meds is good but family counseling should help. Family counseling teaches you how to deal with being a mom in distress...

J.,
It sounds like you are really overwhelmed now. It also seems like you are being hard on yourself. Two children that close together would be hard for anyone, even with a husband available to help. Your description of your feelings is in line with postpartum depression. It might help to see a therapist trained in working with moms like you. Medication alone may not be enough. The expectation of being a "perfect" mom can get any of us in trouble. A supportive advisor whose focus is on you may be just what you need to handle the feelings your having and get you back on track to the wonderful mother you truly are.

Good luck,
L. D.

Look, first of all I understand where you are coming from. You have got to sit and meditate and change your attitude. Think of it this way: maybe this was meant to be, maybe this child is going to be the one that saves the world. It is meant to be. If nothing else to make your stronger in a time when you are down. I know it isn't the easiest thing or the best of times. But you have got to pick yourself up by the boot straps and go on. You have 2 other little ones to be strong for. Don't let this get you down. Rise up and fight and don't let this make you give in.
Sometimes sacrifices are necessary to survive. It probably isn't great having to live with your mom but try to turn everything into a possitive. At least your mother is there to help with things when times get tough. Anytime you think negative thoughts, stop yourself, turn them around and start thinking the positive things. Repeat the positive things over and over to yourself till it works. Medication is probably necessary so make sure you consult your dr and do exactly what he says.
Good luck. I know things don't always work out as we planned and sometimes life is a pain but keep your head up. You are better than that.!!!!!
Good luck.

J., it might be baby blues, it definitely sounds like depression of some sort but only a doctor can diagnosis that.
Maybe your meds need adjusted, it might be the overwhelming feeling of you being a single parent since your husband is gone much of the time and having 2 little ones that close together might be wearing you out a bit.

Try to discover something fun, learn a new hobby.. you also may be needing some adult time with your friends or maybe some adult conversation.

The other thing is life is hard sometimes and you as a woman need your husband to be able to 'give' back to you since you are giving all day to 2 little ones who actually need you a lot right now. Things will get better, it is only a matter of time.

I'm a firm believer that good Christian counseling can be very helpful for ANYONE. I've been to a counselor. We all have issues and sometimes all we need is a listening ear and a bit of advice from an experienced person. Please consider investing in counseling.

It sounds like you have a lot of guilt because you haven't lived up to the "perfect" mother you hoped to be (and that other people always told you you'd be). No one can be the perfect parent, but you are just the right mother for your kids - that's why God gave your boys to you and not anyone else.

You're right, your kids are at wonderful ages, but it's also a huge challenge to have two little ones as close in age as yours are. It's very normal to feel stressed and overwhelmed as a mom. Don't be too hard on yourself. Your boys will not grow up being disappointed in you, but they will benefit tremendously if you get the help that you need from your doctor, counselor, pastor, etc. It's wonderful that you have supportive family who can help with the kids during this time.

If you can, find a group of moms of young children that can support you. When I was suffering from postpartum depression right after the birth of my daughter, a visit from a friend who told me about her own emotional roller coasters made a HUGE difference. It helped me realize that I was not alone, that I was not going crazy, and that my hormone-induced depression would not last forever.

This sounds like depression to me. Medication may help; but sometimes it may make the symptoms worse, so make sure your doctor accepts that as a possibility before you start on meds, so that if they go wrong, you'll be able to go off without a problem.

Try to get more sunshine -- it is a fact that many people get "the winter blues" due to not enough sunshine -- both staying inside because of the cold, being completely covered when going outside, and the angle of the sun in the winter.

Watch your diet -- make sure you're taking in enough nutrition with not too much sugar or too many carbs, especially those in white bread, white rice, and other non-whole grains. It is amazing to me the number of symptoms of vitamin deficiency that are also symptoms of other problems, including depression. The main culprit is a lack of B vitamins. "You are what you eat" -- if you're not taking in enough vitamins, you are in a deficient state, and no amount of "time" is going to fix that deficiency until you start getting more vitamins. Lots of leafy green veggies, whole grains, veggies with lots of colors, no refined or fake foods (white rice, white flour/bread, high fructose corn syrup, white sugar, etc.).

Hey J. D, you need to seek some professional help. You said you had problems with depression before and now after having the 2 kids, back to back may have knocked your hormone levels off. A lot of people dont realize but when we have a child---pregnancy really takes a toll on our bodies and since your kids are 54 weeks apart, your body just have not regulated itself. You may need to get on some more meds that are stronger than the ones you are presently taking that isn't working for you this time around. Don't feel bad, I'm sure that you are a great mom, you just need a little leveling of your hormones so that you can get back connected with your kids. Continue to pray to the good Lord and Be Blessed.

J., you sound a bit overwhelmed. I definitely would talk to your doctor about your symptoms. You may have post-partum depression. It is a real problem, despite what Tom Cruise thinks. You need to talk to someone who understands what you are going through. If you cannot afford a counselor, speak to you doctor and see if he/she can find one for you that will work with you and your situation.

I wish you the best. It is hard to be a mom but compound that with an absent husband, illness and depression and you have a real hardship. May God bless you.

Dear Mom,

You are depress and all your feelings have to do with your depression, you are not a bad mother! Your medication needs to be re-asses by your doctor and psychotherapy will be very helpful. Depression under your circumstances is normal and can happen to anyone. Take care of your self as soon as possible.

I am glad you have some family (support system) to help. It gets better, just look for the right treatment for you. Your doctor and therapist will work together to help. Do not give up!

I hope you feel better soon
S.V.

This definetly sounds like post partem depression - many times it takes a little trial and error to find the right meds to help, but persue that help !!! There is hope and you and your babies need you to feel better. You're not crazy , pregnancy especially yours being so close takes a big toll on our bodies, hormones, brain......... Try a different med, give yourself some time to recover, meanwhile take time to have a ggod cry,and enjoy those babies!!!(even the frustrating moments) they grow up way too fast and these are moments/memories you'll never get to repeat. I personally was on zoloft after my 1st & 2nd babies, then it wasn't working for the third, so i was given wellbutrin, everyone is different - and thats normal
good luck & god bless!!

This is depression! This is not you! Get back to your doctor immediately and let him/her know what is going on. Your body has not recovered from 2 pregnancies and now you have a third - your body is crying out for help. You can get through this, but you must have help. Surround yourself with as much of a support group as you can (people who love you and can help you). Let your church know you need help, that is what churches are for. They may be able to help you physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. You CAN get through this and feel much better. It doesn't have to be like this.

You are not alone! My children are almost 13 months apart. They too are boys. Your body has been through some major changing in the past two years and it needs time to heal. It does not help that your husband is away and you are having to live with family. You have a lot to deal with now and I can sympathize with you. I'm not sure if you believe in God, but if you will pray He will help you through because he gave two precious boys. Sometimes I made myself get up and play with the boys. Once I made myself do it I felt better because I knew I was spending time with my children. Also make sure you do make time for yourself. You need to find something you enjoy doing and take time each day and work at it. When your husband comes in make sure you and him have alone time together, go on a date. Things will get better, I know you don't want to hear it will take time, but that is the only answer there is how much time depends on you. You can control this with help and support from family and friends. Best of Luck and enjoy your precious babies God gave you! L.

Hugs to you!! I have been in your shoes. I was on meds for 10 years before I was able to wing off, but meds don't work alone. I went and talked with a councelor or therapist during that time and even when I got off the meds. It helps to talk through your feelings...it does not work with friends or family. You need to see a professional. I can't stress how important this is. Everything you are holding inside is fighting to come out. You can feel it. Like wanting to escape or "break free". Please give it a try. There are many people out there you can go to or some churches offer free counceling. Just make sure who ever you go see is qualified. It will not change overnight, but after about a month of going to see someone you will notice a difference. I promise.

I am sorry that I do not have any great advice, but wanted to say that I am sure things will get better/easier for you with time. Just the fact that you recognize and can talk about these feelings is a very positive thing. Hang in there and try to give yourself the same amount of compassion you would give another. That's sounds obvious, but is easier said than done. I am not saying this is necessarily the answer for you, but I went on Lexapro for a few months when my twins were babies. I had always been dead set against making an antidepressant but felt like my depression was standing in the way of me being the best mother I could be. It sounds like you feel a bit the same. It was enough to just take the edge off for me and it wasn't long before I weened off of them without even noticing. Don't feel guilty asking for more help with the kids either to have some personal time. A little more time away from them may make the time you are with them much much better. Good luch and let me know if you want to talk more - H. :)

I am not a person who usually believes in medication however it does have a place in some circumstances. I was a pharmacy technician for three years and saw many people on antidepressants. There are many different medications that can be used. It sounds like you may not have found the medication for you, Talk to your doctor about your feelings and see if there is a different med that might work better for you. Good luck. Also know that you are not alone we all feel a little distant from time to time.

First: You Are NOT Alone!
As always the ladies on here have great advice. I know that when it was me I felt so alone. It helps to hear/read that others have been there. Please go back to your doctor if they can't help you need a new doc. Talking to a therapist helped so much. Please believe that you are not a bad mother, and so many of us have been where you are. Add in all of the other factors that are in your life and I don't know anybody that wouldn't need some help. Once you can get your meds straight and find sombody to talk to you will be right there "smothering" those lucky boys to no end.
Good luck, remember you never have to be alone.

read Brooke Shields book "Down came the rain" She battled this and had similar feelings. It is her struggle and ultimate answer. God has blessed you with 2 babies..help yourself to be the best for them and you!

I have two babies 22 months apart and I stayed home with them for 18 months. It nearly broke me down. I had the same problem as you and this is how I fixed it. I went back to work and put my kids in a great daycare. They're happy to be with their friends all day and I've got new friends too. In the mornings and evenings we're engaged and happy to see one another. I'm a better mother to them. Also, part of my depression was due to vitamin deficiencies. I began taking a good multi vitamin but it was the 4000 IU of vitamin D every day that finally set me right. I also lift weights and run. I've got more energy, more money, and my kids have gotten smarter and stronger too.

Also, the depression medications may be causing your feelings of being disconnected. That's what they're designed to do. They make you not care about your sucky situation anymore. Ditch those pills, with your doctors supervision, of course.

I felt very similar after both of my boys were born (2 and 4); especially staying away from people -- I didn't give a hoot if I talked to any other human for days at a time; in fact, I would take my phone off the hook for days and thought it was perfectly normal to just be "unreachable." Typically, I'm very social, very talkative, have a lot of close friends, but I really didn't even realize how bad I'd become until my husband mentioned that I just wasn't myself lately. I was very irrational, on top of being depressed, and my husband tried to get me to call the Dr. and I was offended by what he was suggesting -- like he thought I was crazy or something.

Finally, I did get the help that I needed, Dr. put me on 10 mg of generic prozac and let me tell ya -- WORLD of difference!! I ended up getting back on it for a few months after my son turned 1 (even though they say Post-Pardum depression can last UP TO a year after birth, for me, it returned when my son was close to 18 months)
If you're taking medication, maybe you haven't found what's right for you, yet, but don't worry, ALL moms get to feeling this way, you're in a rut and have to find out what will help you out of the rut. You're not alone, great moms can feel drained for months at a time, you'll bounce back, in the meantime, smile when you can and cry when you need to :) God Bless

Have you consulted with your doctor about he meds you're taking? If it's not working, the doctor needs to know, so that the dosage can be adjusted or a new medication tried.
You've had a LOT of changes in a relatively short time, so don't beat yourself up too much. But please do get help soon, so you can begin to adjust and enjoy those babies!!

I agree with the others. Your not alone. When we get pregnant our bodies and hormones change. I think you should tak with your OBGYN and find out what can be causing this. If it's a vitamin issue, take vitamins, if you need meds for depression, take meds. Don't just sit by and hope it changes, be proactive to make the change happen!

Sounds like post-partum depression. It is hormonal - it is not your "fault". Also, very normal.

If drugs are an option for you, I know many people who have used zoloft very successfully & only needed than for a short amount of time (less than a year)

If not, I would look for a good Naturopath or homeopath to help you get your body sorted out. If you are in the Raleigh/chapel hill area I can suggest a few.

In the meantime, a brisk walk every day , yoga, multivitamins will all help support your emotional & hormonal well being. (Yoga is great for balancing hormones!)

P

It sounds like Post Partum depression to me---I had it too. Go seek a Physician that deals with this. The anti-depressants take 6 wks to 2 months to work so stay on the meds and you will feel better in no time. I was disconnected too after both children and the meds helped tremendously----if one medication does not work try another that may work for you and your body. Take care and you are definitely not alone in this situation----your hormones get so out of whack---especially with 2 babies back to back---it is not you but your hormones confused in your body and brain. It will all be fine if you seek Physician's help and explain how you feel!!! Good Luck.
Great Female Doctor to see is Dr. Heidi Lakes, MD----I work with her and she deals with post partum. Phone # is ###-###-#### to make an appt. She is Family Practice and she also delivers babies and sees all age groups. Take care. ----K.