Should I Seek Help?

Updated on October 22, 2007
S.M. asks from Milwaukee, WI
18 answers

Ok, so I need some insite on whether I may be having late post partum depression, if I'm depressed in general or just in a really bad rut. I just know that something is not right, but I'm not sure if I should be seeking medical advice or not. Thats where I'm hoping you all can help me.
Heres my story. I had a baby back in late June, at the time of my 6 week check up I was fine, but not yet back to work. I've been having a really hard time with my job ever since I've come back from leave, adjusting and so forth. (although my duties, nor hours have changed at all) I figured it would take some time for me to adjust getting back into the swing of things, so I've just been dealing with it. Fast forward 2 months and I'm feeling worse and worse about coming to work in the mornings, and thats not all. I litterally struggle to get myself out of bed in the morning. If I did'nt have to get my one son to school, and be at work in order to make money I would do nothing, but lay in bed all day. I have no interest in my children.I have no interst in helping with school related projects, wanting to play with or even hold our baby. Don't get me wrong I love my littlests smile, and love to curl up with my eldest on the couch, but I'm just not myself lately, and I see it getting worse. I don't want to clean up the house, make dinner, or wash dishes. I'm afraid that if I do have some form of depression it is just going to get worse once it starts getting colder/darker out earlier at night. I find myself having take every day one day at a time. I'm counting down the days of the week so I can look forward to doing nothing over the weekends. (and trust me my job is not over working me) I cried myself to sleep lastnight, and cried again this morning in the shower. I'm even too embarassed to talk to my husband about the way I feel cause I feel like I need to be strong.
Can any of you offer advice? And if you think I should seek help, do I see my regualr medical practitioner, or my O.B.? I don't know much about post partum depression. Like I said though, maybe I'm just in a bad rut.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.

ps. sleep is not an issue for me, I average 9 hours at night which never seems like enough.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your advice. I called my O.B. explained everything I stated above including the fact that amoungst eating healthy I have tryed exercising 30mins a day to see if that would make me feel any better. She said in fact it sounds like I do have PPD, and gave me a RX for 20mg. of Prozac. I follow up with her for an offie visit in 2 1/2 weeks, and we'll go from there. Thanks again ladies.

More Answers

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D.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

S. - get off the computer RIGHT NOW and call your doctor! Tell your OB that you are suffering from bad post partum and need to see him ASAP. Then tell your husband. Tell him everything and see if he can come with you to the doctor. You will need his support to get better. Talk to your mom friends, see if they can help you out (watching the kids, giving you support) You will need to reach out to people so YOU can start to feel better. Also, please realize that this is more than just being in a rut. A rut is having a few bad days. I think you are in a bigger hole and need the help of others to get out. But you WILL get out and things will be rosy again. I PROMISE!

Know that you will get better - just do the things that you need to do to get the help!

Take Care of yourself!!!!!!

D.
milwaukee

1 mom found this helpful
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L.W.

answers from Madison on

I would just call your OB and talk to them. They will likely suggest for you to talk to another doctor...wont hurt any to seek help. Good for you for taking the first step and asking for help...this is nothing to be ashamed of, it happens all of the time.

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M.M.

answers from Green Bay on

Dear S., Make an appointment with your OB. they have a lot of experience with depression esp postpartum. Postpartum depression can happen anytime in the first year after birth. Don't be ashamed, it can happen to anyone - even the rich and beautiful like Brooke Shields! Please have a healthcare professional help you figure out if this is PP depression or not and how to treat it that best fits you. If you don't feel like your self people who love you want to help you feel better, you may want to give your husband a chance to help you. Good luck.

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J.H.

answers from Sheboygan on

S.,
You have the classic symptoms of depression and I wouldn't be concerned about post-partum v.s. clinical depression, you NEED to seek assistance in dealing with this. As a mother and a medical professional I have dealt with this issue many, many times and ignoring the symptoms, hoping they will resolve is not the solution. Things are hard enough in this day and age to deal with but complicating it with depression... well it is a dangerous combination. Please see your primary care physician and ask for a referral for counseling because medications alone are not the answer. You need to comit to a treatment regime, not just seek a quick fix. Do this for yourself, your spouse and those two little men!

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M.M.

answers from Milwaukee on

Yes you should seek help with your OB as it does sound like post-partum depression. I would also recommend some excercise. That might also help. Medication is always last resort but may be neccessary.

Good luck to you.

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M.K.

answers from Green Bay on

I can't relate to what you are going thru but I hope it gets better. I think you should start by seeing your regular doctor first. He/She will be able to tell you what the next step is. Please do it as soon as possible. You don't want it to get worse and risk something terrible happening to you or your kids. Good luck and I will pray for you.

M.

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C.J.

answers from Appleton on

Hey there - First of all don't be embarassed about how you're feeling. This sounds like a duplicate of how I was/am. I went almost 2 years though before getting the kind of help I needed. I talked to my OB right after I had my daughter and he put me on some medication only to find out later it was next to nothing that would have helped anyone. I finally went to my family Dr about a year ago and talked to him. He put me on some medication and we did some changing around of the meds and the side effects were more than the good effects from the medication so I stopped them on my own. Finally I broke down a few months ago and went to Thedacare behavioral health to see a therapist. We sit down about 2x a month or so and just talk and she gives me ways to help myself deal with a lot of the same issues you are dealing with. It has been a very positive thing for me and I'm not on any medications and I have had a definate improvement. I still have struggles that I need to deal with but I haven't been so angry and depressed as much as I was.

I would totally suggest you go and talk to someone. You'd be surprised how much it would help.

I had a hard time telling my husband about it at first but now I'm happy to see a huge difference so I'm almost proud of it.

I sure hope this helps.

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P.H.

answers from St. Cloud on

It doesn't hurt, I had post partum phycosis and its not fun. Your ob can prescribe something. Prozac is tried and true. You will not be labled. You can also try 5 HTP, an herbal. I get it at the chiropractor. It also works great. Good Luck, call if you need to talk, thats important too. P.

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L.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

I am a therapist who has treated women with postpartum depression, and it does sound like you might have a mild case of it. Please see your OB to discuss your options. They will likely prescribe an antidpressant, and I would also recommend therapy because there might be some underlying issues that medicine won't help. Most importantly, if not treated, this can get worse and worse, putting you and your children in danger. Good luck!

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S.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

Dear S.
I am by no means a Doctor but I am however a mom that went through a similar situation in my life. I have a 7 year old son and a now almost 5 month old daughter. With my son I was always a hands on mom. I refused to allow the TV to be the main form of entertaiment and was always playing with him and being very active. I am a very active and constant moving person. A month ago I noticed that the television was on all the time and the cartoons were to simply occupy the time and mind of my 7 year old and my infant laid on the couch with me more than she did anything else. I also started having ridiculous mood swings just in general I wasnt happy.

I did seek medical help. I went to my OB and flat out said I think I am loosing it. What I didnt know is that it takes up to 7 months for your hormones to straighten out and in some (few) cases it may take even up to the fist year. I was put on a birth control (yaz) and started taking both my prenatal and vitamin B complex. This helped alot!! I am not saying that that is what you need to do I am however saying that talking to your doctor about it will only help you and give you an outlet. Its consuming to have two children and a job and a husband and just life in general! another question you should ask yourself is are you doing anything for yourself? A walk, bubble bath or a night out with your friends? I also learned it has become important for me to spend just a few hours a week doing something for me! ( I choose to lock myself in the bathroom in a bubble bath with a book...) I hope you find what it is you need to perk yourself up... Sorry to ramble I just wanted you to know that you are not the only one!! :)

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L.S.

answers from Omaha on

S.,
I think you need to speak with your OB about how you have been feeling. If for no other reason, than to get a professionals opinion on the situation. I am assuming that your not sleeping well at night with such a new little fella at home and that could be the root of your problem right there. And definitley talk to your husband. He probably sees the changes in you, but doesn't understand them. I wish you the best.
L.

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J.H.

answers from Appleton on

I sent this out before I saw your follow up...way to take that first step....if you ever need someone to talk to that's been there feel free to e-mail me!

I would see your doctor, someone you feel comfortable with talking to about anything, whether that be you family doc or your OB they both can help you. There are so many different kinds of depression out there and so many meds as well. All you will have to do is basically answer 10 questions and based on your answers your doctor will move forward. Take it from someone who knows you will regret the time you are missing with your kids right now later in life. And you will be amazed at how much your life will change once they find the right medication for you, I could kick myself for ignoring it so long! Also I think you should really sit down and tell your husband how you are feeling, you need that support...it's ok for us moms to not be the strong ones all the time! Good Luck with everything and I hope things get better for you!

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S.S.

answers from Madison on

First of all, the fact that you have pushed yourself through the past few months proves you ARE strong. Your words say it all, you're not yourself lately; it is time to do something. Your OB is a good start because the timing says post-partum depression, but don't rule out even just a few visits to a counselor. Having a baby is a major life-changing event and it could help to vent and sort out some of your thoughts & feelings. Or maybe what you're going through is signaling the need for some type of change and talking about it could give you some clues. I agree with others that you should share this with your husband. Try to think of it like this: In order to take care of others you must take care of yourself first. Getting help for yourself right now is how you can care for your family. Good luck.

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A.S.

answers from Rochester on

Yes that does sound like PPD to me I get it a little myself after my children . I would call you OB and she can point you in the right direction. Once you get help there is hope and a light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes they give you an anti depressant and you will fell back to your old self. If I were you I would talk to your hubby about it too I would bet that he would let you lean on him. Sometimes we woman need someone else to be strong for us. Good luck to you and just know that there is help for PPD.

K.L.

answers from Milwaukee on

no where is it written that woman have to be strong!!! talk to your husband and your doctor!! i never felt depressed but i had rage-and wanted to straggle everyone who crossed my path-i talked to my doctor and am on lexapro. love the stuff!!! but please for your sake and your families sake go in and talk to your doctor!!!! and don't be embarrest because you are not the only one out there going thru or have gone thru this!!!

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E.N.

answers from San Francisco on

Sorry, I posted this before I saw that you had already seen the Doc. Good job! Good Luck!

Call the Doctor! Your OB, your PCP, whichever. Call both! I just recently went through this after the birth of my son, and I waited far too long to get help. There isn't anything Wrong with you, this is a pretty common reaction to the post-partum time, but that doesn't mean that you don't need the help and support of your own medical care givers. Good Luck with everything! :)

The lack of interest thing is a big sign that you need some extra help, and it's OK, but please, call your DR.'s

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H.D.

answers from Madison on

I also posted before seeing your update!

Please talk to your doctor! You described exactly what I went through after the birth of my daughter. It kind of started while I was pregnant, but it wasn't until she was almost a year old that I knew things had really gotten bad. In addition to no motivation I also cried ALL the time, did not want to get out of bed, functioned for my kids only because I knew I had to, although I had no real desire to interact with them. I would also lose my temper very easily with them - especially my son who was 3. I never physically acted out, but the verbal stuff was just as bad. I was not being the kind of mom I wanted to be or knew I could be. I knew I loved my kids, but I also had the feeling that I could walk away and never come back and I would be fine with that. Not that I was suicidal, just that I didn't want to deal with any of it anymore.

After going to counseling, reading books, talking to my husband and doctor, I finally admitted that I needed to try medication. It has honestly made all the difference in the world. That is not to say you need medication - sometimes people jump into that too quickly. It was only after trying every other thing my therapist, medical doctor and I could think of that I ended up going that route.

It totally makes sense that you are concerned about the change of seasons and how we won't have as much sunlight - that cn also make a huge impact.

I wish you the best! Please feel free to contact me if you just need to "talk" to someone who has been there.

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A.O.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi S.,

Before you look into antidepressants, you may want to get your iron level checked (are you nursing?), also sometimes thyroid levels can shift postpartem. If your thyroid is okay and you are not anemic I would highly reccommend an antidepressant short term. After giving birth to my third son, last November, I began to feel irrationally overwhelmed with everyday tasks. I was also extremely irritable. I took Lexapro (an SSRI) for a 6 month period and I was pleasantly suprised. Tasks didn't seem as overwhelming, and I felt like myself again.I really didn't like the idea of taking an antidepressant but It got to the point that I was burdening my children and husband. I needed to be at my best for them so I decided to go for it. I do not have long term effects from it and I have no regrets.

I hope this helps,
A.

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