Low Sex Drive - Omaha,NE

Lucky for me my husband was very understanding because I know what you are going through. I didn't have any sex drive while pregnant. I also had problems with pelvic pain which made intercourse almost impossible for me. I wouldn't concern yourself much with it, after all you are 9 months pregnant! As long as your husband is understanding about it, don't even worry about it until after your 6 weeks after delivery.

Everyone has been saying that it is normal, it is. If you breastfeed, it may not come back for awhile. That is what I've experienced. On a funnier note, I had NO sex drive while pregnant with my first two (both are girls). I had a huge sex drive while I was pregnant with my third. I said during the pregnancy that it had to be a boy because I must have had lots of testosterone running through me - sure enough it was a boy. :)

Hi A.-

My kids are 18 months apart and what you're describing sounds awfully familiar! It takes a little bit for the fun to return...my boobs were just bottles after both kids nursed for about a year each! But, I'm happy to tell you, you can look forward to lots of fun...it just takes a little while. In the meantime, enjoy those kiddos!

Totally normal! not only because your pregnant, but also because really your body has been through the ringer in the last 1 1/2 years. It will come back, it might take some time, especially with two kiddos, but it will!

Normal!!! There are times when I go into mommy mode overdrive and give all of my attention to my son so that at the end of the day I have no desire for my hubby and I'm not pregnant. Your everything is being given to your kids now, body, emotions, and mind. Give it time and eventually you will be able to separate some of you for you and your hubby again. For a woman to enjoy intimacy they have to connect and in order to do that there has to be a part of themselves to give to their hubby to connect with. The connection will happen, it will leave, and it will come back as your kids grow just know it leaving will pass as long as you keep loving each other and trying (even if that just means snuggling and touching).

I agree with everyone else, it is normal. I have a 3 1/2 year old boy and an almost 2 year old girl...so here we are two years later and still no libido. I had a very strong one before the kids. I just saw my ob/gyn last week. He assured me it was normal, but I could use hormones to try to increase it (since it is becoming an issue in our marriage). I just started using testosterone cream, he said it is almost 100% effective for women, but since it is a cream you have to try to regulate it so you don't get too much. Anyway, you are still just going to have your baby, so give it some time before you seek meds and such. Just know that there are some options for later if need be. Good luck!

Absolutely normal given your circumstances! I can't guess when it will return, but be patient. You're tired! Your body is working overtime right now. Try to find ways to relax and enjoy each other without the need for sex. Maybe if you take that pressure off yourself you'll be okay to be touched.

Anyone who has a toddler and is pregnant has a low sex drive. Don't worry about it, it'll come back but not for quite a while. Just focus on your babies and getting some sleep and give it some time.

You are almost full term and you think you need to have a sex drive? I think you are normal.

I am 38, four kids and three c-sections -- this is pretty normal. Although I did love a good back rub or foot rub. :) My hubby and I had some good conversations about how I was feeling and he was very understanding. We also took a little survey to find out what our "Love Languages" were: words of affirmation, touch, acts of service, gifts, quality time. When my libido was low I really tried hard to spend a little extra time "speaking" his love language which is words of affirmation and gifts (encouraging him with my words, appreciating him and the gifts were mainly in the form of food -- making him a special lunch to take to work and including a little love note or having a candlelit meal ready for him when he came home -- even if the meal was very simple --the kids loved the candles! This didn't happen every day -- but maybe once a week. Then once every week or two we would try and have a little date -- even if it was on our couch watching a movie after the kids go to bed or playing a board/card game, etc). My love languages were quality time, acts of service and touch a close third(ex. he did the dishes for me, especially on the weekends and we would try to have a few minutes of couch time every day--talk about our day and he gave me some good back rubs). I know how our wonderful children can suck out every ounce of energy we have -- and we need to give them lots of love, attention and nourishment. :) It is also just as vital to keep our relationship with our spouse nourished as well. It takes a little extra communication and thought, but it can be done and is sooo worth the effort. :) Your libido will return with time. Hope you have a wonderful delivery on the 27th. I have a little girl named Hope too!

Did you have a C- section with your last child? I don't know why, but a lot of people I know have the same problem once they've had a C-section.

A.,
I didn't read all the responses, but wanted to let you know about my personal experience. I have a 2 1/2 year old, and 8 1/2 month old twins. First, you're currently pregnant, and need to cut yourself slack... everyone's pregnancies are different and it may be the furtherest thing from your mind, especially with how you're feeling (you're 39 weeks and doesn't sound like you've had a comfortable pregnancy at all...)

I would not expect anything to get back towards "normal" until around 6 months. It may happen sooner, but don't be surprised. I felt horrible as I have a wonderful, loving and very understanding husband, but despite extreme fatigue and exhaustion, I was desperate to start getting that back, for both our sakes. I contacted my OB after I found a friend was prescribed something to help get her hormones in check, and he wouldn't do it- said to give it more time. I was livid as I felt like it would never return on it's own, but it finally did. I can't say it's like it was before we had 3 children, but feel it's as normal as it can be. It does take some time for hormones to return to somewhat normal levels after a pregnancy... so in the meantime, just make sure to keep communication with your husband open, let him know what you're feeling and do whatever you can to give him his time (which can be hard with two young children, one a newborn)- but be sure to let him know you love and appreciate him. Don't give up hope!

I've gone through (am still going through) the same thing. We have a two year old and a 2 month old. There was VERY little action in our lives between the two, and I'm not at all interested in it right now. I'm not sure it would return to normal on it's own for me right now for a long time--mommy is in high demand around our house and I really just crave time alone to do nothing!
I think we'll probably just have to 'schedule it in' sometime, since that seems to be the recommendations I've been reading.

Talk to your doctor. I would guess it is probably a combination of being tired, hormones, and not feeling well. See if you can find a 12-15 yr old neighbor to help you. Having someone come in and take your little boy out in the stroller or just playing with him in the house and keeping him busy for about 2-3 hours everyday will give you some rest. Use that time to relax take a bath or shower and lay down for a nap or read. Go in your room or some other quiet place in the house and just relax. If you can, have your dinner in the slo-cooker so it becomes a no stress thing. Then when you get up get dressed in something that makes you feel good, fix your hair, maybe put on a little perfume and make-up. When we fix ourselves up a bit we feel better about ourselves.
Enjoy this time with your babies. Mine are all grown and while I am ready for the next phase of my life it does seem strange.