Private Personal Issues but Need to Ask Other Pregnant Women...

You can chalk this up to those darn hormones doing crazy things!! Definitely rest as much as possible (which is hard to do with a two year old around. Maybe the weekends will be better for being intimate.

Hi B.,

I think it is perfectly normal to be feeling the way you feel right now. especially since you are still very early on. this will pass. I just had my second baby and i was like that for a while and then when it passed, it was just awkward due to my protruding belly :). Dont worry, things will start to feel normal again. For me, it was about 12-13 weeks--so you are almost there. Take it easy.

Every pregnancy is different. One thing I have found , is that, if you don't feel like it, and you do have sex, alot of times your body will respond regardless. Men tend to take this as a lack of feelings for them, rather than you just having a hormonal change. I'm not saying be a daredevil, but just make exceptions for him, and let him know you don't feel like your regular self right now, but you still love him just as much. Also, bring this to your doctor. There may be some underlying causes, and you want to have blood tests to make sure you aren't having any other problems.

Don't worry, it will pass! The first trimester is rough, I am 31 weeks pregnant with my second, and I felt the same way. And having a toddler to chase after during those first three months does not help the libido at all! But in my second trimester I started feeling better. Just hang in there!

B.,

I can't speak for other women but myself, I had times in my pregnancies (6 of them) when the very last thing I wanted to do was have sex. By the time I'd had several children I was often totally wrung out, touched out, sucked out (tandem nursing) and so forth. There were times I'd allow it and be literally crying into my pillow. I didn't let my husband see this of course because it would have devistated him. I just hated to tell him NO so often because he was not pushy. In the beginning my breasts hurt like fire, after about six months I had vaginal vericose veins which were really weird to deal with, and in the last 6-8 weeks my hormones kicked in, getting my birth canal ready for that 14" head and DH said it wasn't as tight.

Pregnancy and childbirth changes everything, not just sex. At times it was mind-blowing good so be patient, it will get better. And if not, you may have to get creative.

This too shall pass.

K.

I am currently 7 months along with baby number 3 and was the same way till about the end of my first trimester. it does get better.

I was like this a couple weeks ago...but most of my problem was due to my nausea and vomiting.
I know it's hard to keep interested when you are "busy" with other things on your mind but your husband may start to feel like you don't like him. When I thought about it I realized that even if I felt sick, I always felt better after my husband I got together again, so I tried my best to be open to it when he was interested even if at first I was not interested at all. Then the times that I just couldn't he was understanding because he knew that I was trying my best.

I am not a pregnant but I had four children and I never had that problem till later in life I think if it was me I would check with my doctor there might not me a problem but then again there might be since all you want to do is eat and sleep and it wasn't like that the last time the doctor may have some ideas or something he/she can give you to help or wise you hubby will just have to be patient no matter what anybody says I still would check with the doctor to be safe good luck

First of all, hang in there! It will pass. It is totally a hormone thing and it will not last forever. It is very normal and it is ok that you are feeling this way.

I went through the same thing with my first pregnancy. What helped was talking with my husband about it. I let him know how I was feeling and he was VERY understanding. We worked together to find a compromise. He tried to be sensitive to how I was feeling and I tried to be aware of his needs and how important it is for him (most men I think) to feel close and connected through sex.

It was hard to start the conversation, but talking about it made a big difference. That way, he wasn't always getting turned down and not knowing why and I wasn't feeling guilty for not feeling like making love. We weren't perfect, there were still a few fights and hurt feelings surrounding our sex life, but overall, we were ok.

Good luck with the conversation if you choose to have it and congratulations on your pregnancy. :-)

I'm 10.5 weeks and pretty much the same way, but I was with my daughter too...I got back into the swing of thing in my second trimester and all was good...Just try not to think about it and let your SO know that it's normal and things will be ok after a few more weeks.

This will pass once you begin to fine better not so tied all the time. You are probably more tied this time just taking care of a 2 year old is trieding enough without the add adjustment your body is making.

I'm 24 weeks pregnant with baby number 2 but I felt like that early on. I got my "mojo" back once I was in the second trimester. My routine is eat, sleep at 8, sex at 2:30 am., then back to sleep. Its been working for us. :)

I had this problem with my second. The thought of sex almost made me ill. I made it a point to try to find other ways to connect with him. Maybe a backrub or something to let him know you're still into him you body just isn't. Eventually it will pass. When I was pregnant with my third child. OMG. I couldn't get enough sex. It was awesome. Everyone is different just be sure you keep the lines of communication going with hubby, that's the important part.

cathyd

Testosterone levels often fall dramatically with pregnancy. Not for all women and not every pregnancy. The second pregnancy and thereafter it is quite common to lose all sex drive....this can even persist after these pregnancies, especially if you breastfeed. This can be a major marriage problem. Discuss the fact that nature does this to many women with your husband and try to come up with an agreement as to when, how, during the pregnancy, and when to resume relations.
You know late into pregnancy most intercourse is not advised. Discuss this with your Doctor. You may need to see an endocrinologist after the pregancy for testosterone supplements or other therapy. Most of all you want to plan to get back to a reasonable level of intimacy after the birth for the sake of the whole family. As a counselor, I have seen this problem cause divorce if ignored, so it is good you are seeking advice and meeting it head on.

yes it does i had this problem with my first and third pregnancy but mine didnt pass until the pregnancy was over thank god i had an understanding well sort of husband lol i felt like i wanted to throw up every time he touched me but we got through it just explain to him its not him hopefullt he'll understand

Don't worry. It will return.

So many great answers...let me encourage you with this. Even now after we're done with pregnancies, my wonderful hubby still talks about 2nd trimester sex. Just like others have said, it will come back once the initial exhaustion and drain on your body subside.

But, since you mentioned you're a Christian, I'll share with you the best thing that has happened to the sex life between my hubby and me. Prayer. It is so important to remember that this aspect of your relationship was beautifully created by God. With the yuck in society today, it's hard to focus on that sometimes. But, if you ask Him to help you 1) fulfill your husband's needs and 2) to be restored to a time of enjoyment, then He will bless and honor those prayers! Also pray that God will grow your sexual communication. I can't tell you how much our relationship has grown because of the way God has opened up our communication about it - and a lot of that happened during my pregnancies because of the strange things that were happening to me physically and hormonally. God is SO interested, and He so greatly wants to see this be a beautiful and pure thing between you. You'll love how He works when you submit it to Him! Praying for you!

It is very normal, I had that with each of my pregnancies (3)...what I would recommend is for your husband to go with you to your doctor and discuss this. Your doctor can reassure him that it has nothing to do with him and everything to do with all the hormonal changes you are going through. Hopefully you have a great relationship with your doc and can feel comfortable talking about this, but that is definitely the way to go. In the meantime, find other ways to share closeness with each other and just keep reminding him how much you appreciate him! Good luck!

This is totally normal. Same thing happened to me. Poor hubby was all excited when we were trying to conceive (my libido went into hiberation for 2 yrs while I worked on my doctorate) and we got pregant in just 2 months! And there went my libido again - to hide until my son was about 12 weeks old. :) Sure we tried having sex a few times during my preganancy (probably a total of 4!) but I was only being generous for him.

I had some postpartum depression after my son arrived and when I switched antidepressant medication, my libido came out from hiding. Woohoo!

Things will get better. Hang in there!

I understand completely.
Email me if you want to know what worked for me.
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Blessings,
A.

LOL, reminds me of when I got pregnant the first time. I had constant morning sickness, and something about the smell of our bedroom made me feel sick to my stomach, so I ended up sleeping on the couch downstairs for a couple months until my second trimester. At which point I became *really* interested in sex, so we took advantage of that, before the third trimester when things became too awkward. You'll go through phases in your interest level, as will your husband, and if you just explain that it's not him personally, it's just how the hormones are working this time, and have faith that things will change again. Remember, no matter how bad things are, or how good things are, this one truth remains: "This too shall pass."

I just gave birth to my second child, so I know the interest comes back, given time! Just don't pressure yourself. (Also, there may be times you're not in the mood, but have no active aversion to sex at that moment; if you go along and see how you feel after a while, you may end up having a great time. It's sometimes worked that way for us.) Good luck with everything!

It depends. Each pregnancy is different. Just think sexual thoughts and hopefully it will return to you. When I was pregnant with my little girl I loved sex while pregnant, with my boys not so much. If you don't feel like sex maybe try doing other things. Either way your husband will love you no matter what. This is only 9 months out out of your lives together. It is obvious that you really love your husband and are concerned about his needs otherwise you wouldn't have asked this question. Good luck!