Looking for Some Opinions on Father Patricipate

Hi J., my name is L., and before you make any decision, you should try to have a serious conversation with him. Both of you need to talk and tell each other what you want. He needs to know that you need him there, and his financial help. Once you can see what his plan is, you can make a decision.

Hi J.,
Congratulations on your pregnancy. Enjoy every moment of it. I hate to be negative, because normally I look to the brighter side of things, but this is too serious a subject to not be completely honest about. I don't believe that your boyfriend will change once your baby comes. I believe once the baby comes, he will stay exactly the same or get worse. Having a baby come in to your home is a blessing, but it can turn your world as you know it upside down. Everything changes. If he is lazy now about doing things around the house, I don't think he will be inspired to do things once the baby comes. If anything the stress of the extra money spent on the baby may cause him to be worse. I know this because I've been there. I have a 9 year old daughter that I am raising on my own. My ex was worse than lazy, but that is another story. I have friends whose husbands were like that when their wives were pregnant and bringing the baby home didn't change anything. This is only my opinion, but I think you need to accept that this is how he is and this is how he is going to be. You do need to sit down and talk to him and let him know how you feel and what you expect of him now and when the baby comes. Ask him what he expects of you. You will probably need to find support with your friends and family for the time after the baby comes. It's nice to have that support system anyway. I do hope that the baby wakes him up to see what a blessing and the responsibilty that has been brought into his life.

All you can do at this point is wait and see how it goes after the baby is born. Hopefully he will step up to the plate. In the meantime, you may need to lean on a close friend or family member for support. If you find he cannot fulfill his responsibilities as a father and partner, there is no point staying with him. Remember, you and your child deserve the best! Surround yourself with people who want the best for you (those who really care) and avoid those who bring you down. I do hope things work out for you.

Hey there! I was in your same position. I was pregnant during football season so every Sunday he would leave me alone. But as soon as the baby was born it was a complete turnaround. Now all the money goes towards anything for the baby. My boyfriend became a little lazy with helping when our son was about 3 months old but we had a long talk and I showed him how much help I need and things are much better now. Our son is now 6 months and he loves spending time with his daddy. Sorry this is a little long but I just wanted to offer some encouragement and let you know to hang in there it will get better.

Hi J.
I was in a similar relationship with my son's father. Like you I moved in when I got pregnant. We lived in a very expensive condo. I was temping for work so no health ins. He was self employed. He didn't mind spending time with me, but we had no money and didn't do anything anyway, so he spent all his time on the computor. He was so caught up in this business with his partner that all his time and extra money went to his friend. I paid all the bill, except the rent (his mother paid that). I wasn't happy. soon after our son was born we dicided to get married, a year later. I called the whole thing off. I wanted to be a stay at home mom for a year, but instead had to go back to work as soon as my son turned 12 weeks. my EX played video games all day long while I did everything else. Once I started working he was home with the baby 1 week then called me at work and said he couldn't take the crying so he had him mother (who lived 1 hour away) come stay with us. She did all the cooking and cleaning but I didn't want that. So finally after a year of anxiety, my aunt passed away, he was there for me, but still said he couldn't deal with my family, so I left. Now another year later. He is working and making good money. He has gone back to school, and despretly wants me back. I still love him, but if I hadn't left he never would have changed. So you should talk to your boyfriend, and tell him how you feel, let him know that you are not happy and may leave if he does not change. In the end you and that baby are the most important thing, if you are not happy, the baby wont be either. Hope that helps, and good luck.

Hi, i hope your pregnancy is going well. I have a 9 month old baby and remember well how tough and emotional the last few months of pregnancy are. My boyfriend, now husband, was the same but after our son was born everything changed. Hang in there and chin up! Try and tell him how you are feeling, that you need some hugs now and again!
E mail me anytime at ____@____.com
Take care and best of luck

I am so sorry, sweetie....I had a husband like that a few years ago....he did change....a year after our divorce. It was too little too late. Babies don't make men change, they have to want to change on their own. I would say that if you are feeling that way, talk to him about it...Not when you are arguing, but when the both of you are calm. Remember also, you are not married to him, so if you feel that you and your child are not going to be happy by his side, there is no reason why you should stay and suffer.

J. my email address is ____@____.com please email me and we can chat

Hi J.:

Was he like this when you met him?(answer honestly)or did he started to be like this when he found out you were pregnant? Sometimes they get scared and starts acting out just like little kids. You are almost there so hold on until you have the baby but don't hold your breath that he will change because it might not happened either. If he doestn't change you need to let him go, because the stress is not going to be good for you or your baby. Good luck with your labor and god bless your little one.

Hi my name is S., i am a sahm of a 2 1/2 month old little boy. I understand what you are going through. My advise is to wait till the baby is born. Men seem to lose interest in us in the end months of pregnancy. If after a month of having the baby he is still like that, he is not worth having around. You can do much better. If you ever need anyone you can email me at ____@____.com