JFF, Do You like to Entertain? Why?

I like to entertain, but only conditionally.:)

If it's a "clean the whole house, not a speck out of place, make the whole meal from start to finish" thing-- no, I will just end up a stress-wreck. I stopped offering to do these years ago.

If it's a fun gathering, house mostly tidied up, serving entrees but inviting friends to bring potluck to round it out-- I am SO there!
I have friends who have allergies and I accommodate that, too. I love having some friends over to hang out for the afternoon--- I just don't do well with the formal gatherings.

I don't mind having a few close people over, but hosting a party or a dinner in my home? Nope, not my cup of tea. I don't mind hosting a party or dinner somewhere else. In fact, I frequently handle coordinating/hosting meetings and lunches at work. My house is my place and I don't like it to feel invaded.

No. Oh lord, NO. I HATE having people in my home. My home is my happy, and private place. I can do what the heck I want and enjoy my own little lot here. I feel invaded when people are here. I feel like my quiet, happy place is infiltrated. I know it sounds silly, but I have always been this way. I don't particularly like going to other people's homes, either. I rather like meeting people in restaurants, or other public locations. We go to a lot of park and other kid friendly places for playdates. I avoid house socialization, if I can avoid it.

Thankfully, I married a man who is as weird about this, as me!

I hate being a hostess. I hate feeling like I need to clean my house, bathroom, cook...ect. It's so stressful to me. And then I am stressed the whole time people are here. And THEN i have to clean up!!! I do NOT like doing it at all. Probably why I only do it for birthdays. lol
L.

Hi jane-

I used to LOVE it...particularly when my kiddos were little for several reasons:

1). It allowed me to entertain in OUR home...and little kiddos could at least have a reasonable bed time IN their beds.

2). It FORCED me to clean better than a 'lick and a polish'. I KNEW folks were coming...and ANY room in my home was 'free game'.

3). I enjoy entertaining...from the cleaning...to the cooking...to the socializing...and beyond!

Best Luck!
Michele/cat

I only really host immediate family: my in-laws, my parents & siblings. Why? I am not organized enough to feel confident that I can make it all come together and give the guests a great experience. I doubt that I'd time the food right, that I'd have enough, or too much food, and they wouldn't like my cooking, that they were bored, that my kids drove them crazy, that they thought it really bad that we have torn off wallpaper in 2 of our bathrooms, that they'd see the hole in the wall that the movers put there 6 years ago that STILL hasn't been fixed...

In short, I'm afraid of being judged.
I stick to my family, and playdates.

I love parties and entertaining because I am pretty social. My husband is an introvert so views it all as work, even if he doesn't have to do any of the hosting duties. In fact, he would rather do have behind the scenes chores like getting food out or washing dishes than have to make small talk. It depends on the crowd for him too. If it is close friends and family then he is much more relaxed. I don't host big parties because like Queen said, I don't think I could pull it off with finesse. I am not a good cook and don't have the patience to learn how to be a good cook, so when I am hosting something (which is not very often really) it is always pot luck or catered.
A.

Not particularly, but I force myself to for my kids' sake . . .

For some reason I'm extremely gregrarious but I don't always like to be around other people. It drains me. My home is my sanctuary and it's hard for me to let people in (even though I've done it many times, it doesn't get easier for me). I think it has something to do with anxiety.

I thank God for wonderful hostesses (sounds like you are one).

I like to entertain adults a few times a year, usually one holiday dinner, one ladies night and one home sales party. I entertain kids all the time, both at the house, and on outings. There are generally extra kids in tow wherever we go, at most meals and lots of sleepovers. When I was a kid my house was the one where all the kids could drop in and hang out, and I want the same for my kids.

As long as it's only for a day/evening, I'm all for it! I love having friends over. We never do anything fancy, usually just do some grilling (or if my husband has organized it, poker!). Sometimes people will bring some little sides or something, but I don't usually ask them to. I LOVE to cook, so I'm sure that's part of it. I also LOVE to bake, and I love sharing the things I've made with people. That's probably what it boils down to for me.

I just wrote a long answer that was deleted. So the edited version:

The generous part of me hosts because I know that I can, and it's gratifying to be in a place where I can provide good food and good company in a nice setting for friends and family. I love seeing people's eyes light up when they bite into something tasty I've prepared, and see friends and relatives who don't see each other often enough get to spend time together.

The narcissist in me feeds of the validation that being a good host provides. I love hearing people compliment my cooking, my baking, my yard, my decor.

The outgoing, extroverted part of me thrives on having others around. I don't care if it's 5 people or 50, an hour's notice or something that takes months to plan, I love it.

The cocky and creative part of me likes having an outlet for creative things like decorating over the top cakes or making a ridiculous recipe and likes the challenge of pulling together things like a backyard party for 50.

We have a very small house - if I had a bigger house, we would eventually host every family holiday. I'm sure that would get old but for now, I would love to have a formal dining room where I could seat 16 people for a formal holiday dinner. We have a great yard, though, so from May to September we host people almost every weekend. Some are planned events (mother's day, father's day, birthdays) and some are impromptu "hey come over for some wine by the fire" affairs. It's a blast, but I have to admit that I'm looking forward to this weekend, which is the first weekend that we've had off since May 6.

I don't especially like to entertain.
But I grew up with a family that did. Often.
Myself, I do often have play dates for my kids, and we are play date central. And the parents come and hang out too.
I do it for my kids.
Like your SIL... I am always hosting. My home is comfy and neat but not a museum. It has kids in it. And I am a casual person. Everyone knows that, but that is also a reason that they like to come over. Because I am not fussy about things. But am in other ways. But not when I am hosting. I like, that my kids love having friends over. It is childhood memories. My parents did that for me too. They were THE house, that everyone and the kids came too.

As I said, I am not an "entertainer" Host type and do not generally like to entertain. I am also private. BUT... I do entertain... for my kids, because that is what I believe in doing. It is not that I 'hate' it, I do do it willingly. But I am not a full on social being. But am, when others are there. But it is genuine. But after a hosting at my house.... I AM, quite tired and need a respite. And downtime. Until the next.... one. I know my rhythms.

It is a lot of work. And I also do it around my budget. But also, everyone who comes over, it is often pot-luck anyway. That is the culture here. It is common, and that is what "guests" do here. They always bring, something for the kids or food etc.

I am also, like Bug, below and Hazel.
Ditto.

I am OCD, so my house is always perfect....so I know that's not why, but I HATE to entertain.

I work in a field where I engage with people ALL day long and have to find something in common with them, so when I get home, I really don't want to have small talk. I'd rather hang with my kids and reconnect with my husband.

I don't care what people think of me, either.

My parents entertain a little and my in-laws don't have any friends, literally. 13 years and never has one person come to their home - extended family or friends....just their (3)children, (2)spouses and (6) grandchildren. Maybe it's what we grew up with?

I like to entertain, and I don't mind the work. I like having the people I love around me and doing fun things with them. I don't do formal gigs and no one who knows me comes to my house expecting a Martha Stewart experience. They know that what they will get here is good food and fellowship, and they keep coming back.

My husband and his parents love to entertain. It is always a huge production and you can't get in their way because they have a certain system they follow. Even if my mother in law can barely walk, she'll plan a party and cook for 60 people. My husband loves moving all the furniture around and decorating. They are obsessed with entertaining but I don't know why. It drives me crazy. I hate entertaining. I don't like to clean or cook so it's always stressful for me when they plan a party at my house because they insist that I put everything away and make it look like no one lives in the house. My family and friends know I'm messy so I don't mind having them over because I don't have to clean up for them. I just think it's a matter of personality.

I like to entertain for informal things like a bbq, or family visits. Holiday dinners aren't my favorite thing to do. I get stressed out. Their is so much pressure for everything to taste good, especially the turkey. So, I usually have my MIL do the holiday dinners. She loves to entertain.

No, actually I HATE it! It is so stressful. I have a hell of a time trying to scrub the house to be company ready. I also stress about what the menu is. I married someone that is really introverted and I have become much more so after 14 years of marriage. Getting ready for company always ends up in a fight between myself and my husband. His standard for Company clean and mine are not even remotely the same. Therefore, I get stuck doing the majority of the work.

I like doing it, when I am in the mood - but I have to be in the mood, and have the energy to clean, prepare food, etc. and that isn't too often.

Some people are extroverts and love having people around - it gives them energy. Others are more introverts - having lots of people over stresses them out, feeling like they have to have things perfect stresses them out, and entertaining just drains the energy from them. Introverts tend to get more energy from being alone. It that regard, I am more introvert than extravert. I like hosting sometimes, but not all the time - I like being around company, or a few friends, but I like my alone time too.

If we do birthday parties for my daughter, I am definitely more apt to host them elsewhere - pick a venue (gymnastics place, water park, indoor playground, etc.) and go with that. Let them get things set up and then deal with the mess afterward. I don't feel up to cleaning my house, getting it all perfect and "company ready" only to have to deal with more mess after it's all done.

I am a killer 'on the spot' hostess. Just show up at my door and you'll end up staying for dinner... even if a grocery run is needed. It's a great good time that tends to go on for hours and hours. (Seriously, people drop by at 1pm just to say hi, and leave at midnight. It often turns 'into' a party, just because). When people just drop by, my house is filled with music and laughter and really, really good food.

I am an AWFUL planned hostess. Dreadful. Can't do it to save my life. Can we say "stilted"? How about 'awkward', or 'disjointed', or late, or, or, or.

It's sort of like how if you just take my picture when I'm not paying attention, I'm actually kind of pretty. But if I know my picture is being taken? Quasimodo time. I don't 'find the light', I get the grotesque. ROFL... I even managed a double chin in one series when I was 40 pounds underweight. It's also why when I modeled I did runway work exclusively. I was NOT a print model. Shudder.

I enjoy people. And when caught off guard, that's what I do out of instinct; host and enjoy myself... since it was drilled into me from childhood onward. But PLANNED events? It's the other side of the sword. I have neither money, nor time, nor space to do things "right" so I end up feeling lacking/insecure/unhappy at my efforts which in turn makes other people feel awkward.

Can't be a good hostess if you're not enjoying yourself, because other people take their cues from you.

Used to adore it. From compliments on food to making people smile when they saw their favorite dish. Decorating for the holiday....then after what I guess was a misunderstanding of a fourth year...I said same time, same station next year only to have shopped, prepped the following Christmas and having no one....I mean no one show out of 28people who made it all the years before, not a one showed. I had enough food to feed my family without cooking new stuff for a little over a month, the presents stayed under the tree until it was put away mid January.
I never invited others over again. Lots of disappointment, lots of questioning if I offended someone so much that they preferred to stay home and eat pancakes for Christmas dinner which I found out they did. So no is my answer now.