Is This Weird?? - Chattanooga,TN

Yeah that strikes me as a bit odd....

Usually friends that are just too off from my idea of normal kind of drift away. I guess you can call it friendship Darwinism.

Well, I consider friends people that I can tell the truth to and people who do not roll over me. I would talk to her about it, in addition I would think it odd that there is only chicken - at least it was grilled, not fried like my SIL, can not stand fried chicken so I just eat sides/salad when she does fried chicken. In addition allowing anyone to eat treats before it's time is not acceptable, this is just plain rude - the host/hostess is supposed to be the polite one(s).
And this is why I do not host very often - My sister was the one born with the GOOD hostess gene, mine is good too but more casual like a fun back yard BBQ come as you are bring a dish and beer - I will load the iPod with good tunes, have video games/toys set up for the kids and a pitcher of sangria for the adults.

It is weird. We were invited over to a neighbors house for dinner one night. I made a pie and my husband carried it in and handed it to her and she handed back to him and said take that back home, we won't eat it. For dinner we had a piece of steak on the plate and that was it, no vegetables or any sides. Their kids had terrible manners, even my kids commented when we got home about their kids manners. And this lady thinks that she is Martha Stewart. I was shocked

LOL. I'm not laughing at you really, but at the look on your face when you saw all that meat and no sides. I don't know anyone that does that so, to me, it is rather unusual. Another thing about this that made me laugh out loud was that the husband and the kid ate most of the cupcakes and your "Who does that?" I pictured them as Homer and Bart Simpson eating those cupcakes like Pac*Man. As far as the lasagna meal... I, too, have been in that put on-the-spot situation. When caught off caught I've learned to say, "Let me think about it". I keep that one ready. If something like that happens again, you could just tell her that you are not in a cooking mood, but she can use your kitchen or tell her that you guys are going to stick with pizza and maybe could order the lasagna as well.

Don't dwell on the past incidents, just bear in mind that your friend is a bit different from you and next time you're invited for a dinner at her home bring a simple side anyway (maybe her husband and kid had gotten to those too--Lol). You can leave it in the car until you see whether she has any sides. If not you could say, "Oh, yeah, I made something to help out with the meal". OR just eat some sides before you get there. <--- Joking. :o) Have a good day.

I think if you have someone at your house and you want pizza just TELL her 'we are having pizza'. Don't say 'how about'. People like that take over everything. As for the birthday dinner/party that is just very strange. I think it's plain rude to only have chicken, not enough cupcakes, etc. Very strange to me. In the future be sure to eat before you go to her home and/or take something else with you to eat. She is not a good hostess/host.

LOL: The next time she invites you over for dinner...make sure you eat BEFORE you get to her house:)

My husband and I had something similar happen, was told to not bring anything but "arrive hungry". There were about 10 of us (3 kids) and a bucket of KFC chicken, and about 3 large sides, and 6 buscuits...really??? We were like WTH??? So we barely ate anything to make sure everyone at least got something. Then we drove thru Taco Bell on the way home...lol!! I just don't get it. When we have people over, I have so much leftovers, we eat it for days! I would rather have way too much food than not enough. I would think that every hostess would think that. Too bad you couldn't just ask her. Or while you were there say, "oh, do you need help bringing out the rest?" and see what she said. I always want to do that but I'm not brave enough. It would be nice to know tho what peoople are thinking!!!

I would let it go. If she "suggests" what you serve at your home, then tell her, "Great! Are you bringing/making?" I would go with what I planned to serve if the alternate was not something I wanted to make.

That is a strange meal but I have a feeling a lot went on behind the scenes as they were getting ready such as someone suggested, burned side dish, or forgotten major ingredients....you already know cupcakes were a casualty.

About the Pizza/Lasagne incedent, hindsight is always 20/20 but role play it in your head incase it happens again. A response could have been laughing and saying well, "They don't always get what they want, do they?" Or "I wish we would have thought of that sooner, that is too much work!" Since this is someone that you like I don't think it's intentional, she is just week in this area and you will have to be firm about it when they are at your house.

It's weird. I don't even know what to say.

Lol...yeah, that IS weird.
And no, I can't think of any of my friends who hasn't annoyed me in some odd way at least once.
We have friends and family who we avoid eating w/ because of "differences"...I'd suggest you do the same.
GL!!!

That's an entertaining FAIL! LOL

My husband cousin had us over for her mother's birthday and served chicken breast made on FOUR Foreman grills (that she had borrowed) and bread (that my husband had to run to the store and get for her!). Oh--there was a tiny (think finger bowl) bowl of trail mix on the deck for "snacks"!

So....yeah....weird.

Hahaha - yes, that is weird. I would be assertive and direct but not rude, just laugh about the differences. "Your serving only meat? I told you I would bring a side dish! *laugh* But this is really good." It doesn't have to be an intervention where you expect her to change, but I do make a point to be honest (and kind). She says she wants you to make lasagna, I would laugh and say "I said I wanted to keep it easy - how about italian take out?" It will only irk you if you hold it in and it will only be offensive to address it if you are judging her.

That does seem strange. I am not the best hostess, but I will always make sure there is enough food and sides (like salads and/or veggies). I like to get a variety of things so everyone will be able to eat. I have also asked about food allergies and picky eaters because I would not want anyone to go hungry in my home.

I can't believe they did not have enough cupcakes (b-day cake) for everyone, that right there is rude. I always make sure there is enough cake or cupcakes for everyone coming, I would rather have too much then not enough. I have never known anyone to do something like this. I guess I could see if people brought extra people and you were unaware then you would not have enough food.

Honey, that chick took the express train right past wierd, straight to bizarro world and it doesn't sound like she's going to change.

If you can deal with her quirks, enjoy her friendship. If I was in this situtation, my husband and I would be taking bets on the way to their house about what wierd thing was going to happen. At least it makes it humorous!

Good Luck!

I'll address the 2nd part first--I don't understand why this was so problematic. Did she ask YOU to make the lasagna for them, or did you do it together? My sister and I have cooked together a few times while our kids played--it was good sisterly bonding time, and no, the kids didn't eat much, but it was just fine.

The first part--ewww, that's just TERRIBLE hostessing to not provide enough food for your guests. Does she think you're all on the Atkins Diet? I probably would have said something to her like, "Oh, were we supposed to bring a salad or something?" Probably would have at least made her realize her mistake without sounding accusatory.

And who lets their hubby and kids eat their guests' dessert?? WOW! No self control? Did they eat the sides too?

I'd just say next time that you are invited and told to only bring your appetites, you show up with your appetite & a pasta salad :)

ETA: Ahhh, ok, I read the 2nd part backwards--I thought SHE was hosting YOU. Ok, nevermind--yes, if you are the hostess, you get to plan the meal and for her to impose cooking upon you is VERY rude!! Next time I'd say, "Well, I am not really up for cooking. I am ordering pizza. What toppings do you and the kids like?"

ETA2-- LMBO @ Jo's "friendship Darwinism'--LOVE IT!!

Maybe she tried a side that came out awful and she had to toss it at the last minute? Otherwise - yes that is weird.

definitely weird.

RE: lasagna
I would've looked at her and responded, "OH! That sounds WONDERFUL!! Did you bring enough to share with me?' ;)
Any time I have someone be that rude, I push and push and push by acting stupid until they have to say out loud in no ambiguous language exactly what they're asking. Once people hear themselves they usually understand how selfish/inconsiderate/rude they're being...... and then get angry at me for some reason. Guess most people in our culture are just entitled to whatever they think they want and expect to get it.

I'm glad you like her bc she doesn't sound like a friend I'd want to have.

My step mother is an intelligent woman, but she has no idea of how to cook for a crowd, or what to cook, or what goes with what - all together there are 6 of us kids, and I can't tell you how often we had cheese on toast for our evening meal. They invited us over for dinner once, and dinner turned out to be plain pasta with a blob of cold ragu on it! for a sit down meal! LOL that's all I could say to that. But some people just don't know how to entertain

I hate when people do this Lol! Always seems sooo odd! But then again, I come from a family of 8 or more people eating at dinner, and well, we were poor so we had to cook up a lot of sides so that there was plenty for everyone to eat. So I myself cook this way. I like variety and always have more than just one thing for dinner. It is usually a meat, with either potatoes, or rice and a veggie and bread. But thats just me. I remember when after my husband and I were married we would eat at his parents house every Sunday. The way they cook is generally just the one thing. Thats it, no sides or anything to go with. It struck me as odd! But I guess everyone is different in how they were raised or to be honest how much effort they wanted to put into dinner.

But I still think it's unusual to only serve just one thing for dinner. Especially if you are expecting company. Cooking one thing for your family is one thing, but for guests I think there is supposed to be a different type of etiquette. But that is just my honest opinion.

Kinda weird, but, at the end of the day, what's the point in stressing over something like food?

Sounds like she's not well versed in entertaining or socializing when it comes to the food part. I'd say as long as she's a good friend, it shouldn't be a big deal.

Some people are just clueless. If you are to remain friends I think you need to accept this annoying flaw and let it go. Saying something would probably just cause hard feelings and it's not likely that she would change anyway.
I would, however, feed my family a good snack before going over to their house for dinner the next time!

That seems odd to me. I always plan for way more than is necessary though. I've always got enough to feed an army. I would not have made homemade lasagna for the kids! I've had my nephews over and once dinner is served and they pick at their plates I get "I'm not that hungry" or "I don't like that". Tough beans buster You're eatin' it! And then they brush the crumbs off onto the floor. Hubby says to them, "we don't have a dog. Please don't push your food onto the floor." it actually kinda makes me laugh (and wish I had a dog just to clean up all the food specs that end up on the floor).

yes odd...I'd find it amusing more than annoying if she J. seems to be socially unaware. If she was only like this with you, yes I'd say she was walking all over you, but clearly she did this even at a large party. Take the good with the bad....She J. sounds quirky to M....I'd make fun of her about the only chicken party...hopefully their the kind of friends you can laugh with. If that was my best friend...I'd joke and say soooo I've been meaning to ask you what happened at that meat fest you had? If shes completely unaware and it wasnt J. a crazy day and would be hurt than J. smile at her quirky qualities and live on...
Next time J. say I'm ordering pizza...do you want any toppings? If she requests something, say you don't have the ingredients or time but shes more than welcome to bring it made or to cook together.

She is weird, but if your kids enjoy each other, the husbands like each other, and you enjoy her the rest of the time then perhaps you can learn to deal with her weirdness. Next time, for example, stick with the pizza and say you don't feel like cooking. When they invite you over for a meal, eat an appetizer beforehand, bring a side dish with, and have a dessert ready at home for afterwards. But, you are right, strange, very strange. lol

I think it's weird. If you invite people over, it's assumed that you will have enough food to feed everyone, especially if you're told to come hungry! But some people don't play by the "rules" of social etiquette, so you can't let it get to you, I guess! I feel terrible if I run out of anything when people come over. So if the potatoes run out, for example, I will go open a bag of chips and put them in a bag... Something else to offer! But I worry about that sort of thing too much. Or so I've been told. ;-)

I have a friend that immediately goes for my fridge or asks what we have to eat when she comes over. I think she just likes that we eat very differently and sometimes she is very hungry. I love her like crazy and she's welcome to anything in my house. BUT, when I've been at her house I don't ask for anything. I was raised to never, EVER ask for anything. I've allowed her to serve me. When she does, it's such a small amount that I have to eat on the way home. LOL. I think people are just different. However... This woman was a server for years. So whens he throws an actual party, I know she has a LOT of food.

Your friend dropped the ball. I can't imagine why. But it's possible she had other plans and the husband and kids ate the party food pre-party.

Sounds like she wanted the homemade lasagna and breadsticks at your expense! Let me get this, you invited her over and she proceded to change the menu?

The next time she invites you over specifically ask her about the menu and go from there.

Actually a $10 pan of Stoffers lasagna might have been less expensive than the pizza because it is more filling.

Weird..

It is certainly not the way I host a party. I make sure there is plenty of food for everyone and balance it out.

Maybe she was having an "off" night.