Is This Encourage Hitting? Can Someone Tell Me How Long This Lasts?

Updated on March 14, 2008
S.X. asks from Carpentersville, IL
4 answers

I've put up postings on how to help my son deal w/getting hit and things taken from him... he'd always say the polite thing, be ignored and end up crying. Well that was some time ago. Almost 2.5 now. He's started to hit. Mostly it was during gymnastics class when another child climbed on something he didn't want to share, or when another child was taking something from him or threatened to (and he clearly likes his personal space). He's taken an interest in drums and guitar. Of course i want to say its talent as any mother does, but one thing for sure is that he's VERY interested in music. He'll sleep w/his guitar and play "drums" for hours each day dancing and singing. My question is 1. how long does this swatting phase last 2. do you think the 'drums' is a good outlet for this or do you think it encourages aggression? Today i didn't let him play drums in the am before play group and for the first time he hit kids in the play group, sometimes for no reason. I always redirect, make him say sorry and give time outs. He may be out of sorts as the flu is going around (sick?) but i feel bad for the other kids, question if what i'm doing is the right thing, and frankly get exhausted from hovering over him now because i'm afraid he's gonna hit some kid at the library or something. ??? thanks

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

I work In a daycare and Children at this age hit all the time its easier for them then to use their words.If slamming on Drums helps him I would let him do it.Its like an outlet for his frustration just as we all have our outlets.If he hits other children just calmly take him aside and tell him that we cant hit our friends and if they are doing something he doesn't like he needs to use his words.If you repeat this every time they start to listen to you.I have gotten a lot of the children I work with to tell other children "not nice" "walk away" (these children are 17months to 2 years old. He will grow out of it as soon as he sees that using his words will git him further than hitting his friends. I hope this helps you out

Good luck

1 mom found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S.,

I don't think that playing drums encourages hitting,and I think by having time outs, and redirecting, you are doing the right things.
But I do have an idea, try using playing the drums as a REWARD for not hitting. Before you leave home, try saying, "Ok, _____ if you can behave at playgroup, when we get home you can play your drums for X minutes, BUT if you hit or (what ever else you deem to be in appropriate) You will not be allowed to play them today." Or you could take away a certain amount of time say, 2-5 minutes, for each action. I don't know what else to tell you. The "phase" length is as different as the child.

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

It is developmental. All of the toddler boys I know have gone through this stage. My son, 24 months, is currently doing it. He is completely laid back and he is still going through this awful phase. I use time out and replacement behavior. I tell him that we only give high fives and hugs. I also have to hover and it stinks but it does end. I have seen some toddlers go through it bad and they now don't do it. The length of the phase depends.

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L.B.

answers from Chicago on

His love for the musical instruments is the key. Make the consequences for hitting be that you limit his play with them.
This age gets frustrated easily because they are still developing their language skills.

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