Is It Wrong to Not like a Child?

It's not wrong to "not like" a child.

It's horribly wrong to mistreat a child (or even treat a child less/worse than you would a child you "liked") because of how you feel.

Liking her or not liking her is a feeling - feelings are not right or wrong, they just are. And kids are people. We simply do not like all of them. So, it's okay not to like the child, but you still have to be nice and polite to the child.

I didn't like my ex's son. Honestly, that is one of the reasons the man is my ex.

His son is basically an 11 year old little a-hole. I didn't like him from the very first meeting...and I should have paid closer attention to my own discomfort, because the child's attitudes are a direct reflection of the parenting they've gotten thus far. His father is a TERRIBLE parent.

I tried very hard to like the child, tried very hard to help my ex be a better parent...but some people simply have no business being parents, and he's one of those people. He's also one of those people who has no business being in a relationship. He's not a fixer-upper...he's a condemned building. :-P

Our feelings are never wrong. What is wrong is when we allow our feelings to hurt the other person. It's what we do with our feelings that is important.

Is this the mean girl down the street? Perfectly normal to not like her. After all she's hurting your daughter. You are not a horrible person.

Well if you are horrible, then so am I!
I thought I liked all children until I started working at my kids' school. I couldn't believe how strongly I disliked some of those kids. Of course I never let it show, and I treated them fairly and just like everyone else, but still, the feeling was kind of shocking.

As a mom of 5, I've encountered a few friends of my kids that I didnt like! There were reasons tho. I agree tho, as long as you dont mistreat them, then you have a reason i'm sure. Kids are little people and sometimes we can see many personality traits like adults.

As long as she's not yours, it's okay. :)

Is this YOUR child? Then you should probably get into family counseling now to figure out how to parent without bias. There have been articles written about this, so google it, and not liking/bonding with one of your children is apparently not that uncommon, but the damage it can do to a child is immeasurable if the parent doesn't address it, so please seek help right away.

If this is not YOUR child, but just A child that you've encountered, then no, not wrong at all! Completely normal! In fact, I personally struggle with this because I tend NOT to like most people's children. I have high standards for children's behavior, and I like my own, and I like a few of my friends' kids, but for the most part, I find other people's kids to be rude, wild, smart-mouthed, hyper, etc. I am nice to kids, though, and I try not to let on that they irritate me. I never stopped consider whether it was wrong, but when I do, I have to say I can't see why, as long as I don't treat them that way. I don't like all adults, why would I like all children? ^_^

As long as it's not a child you are a parent, guardian, or care provider for, then nope. Not wrong. Just honest. Not everyone is likeable to everyone else.

You can't help how you feel, just how you act.

You don't have to like her, because we can't like everyone. It's just not possible. And some kids ARE just horrible. But you do have to respect her as the little person she is. And try to spend time with just the mom instead of with the kids along.

Each of my kids had one friend that I didn't like. I hated that I couldn't stand them but I hated being around them more.

All four of the kids were just so unlike me or my kids that I couldn't really understand why they were friends.

Oh, I was never mean to them or treated them any differently when they were at my house, I was just glad when they left.
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Just thinking about it, they were just not polite, rude even. One of older daughter's friends would ignore my daughter and just play with her stuff. Then I would find her going through my drawers saying she was bored. Okay well trashing my room is not considered an "activity". She would just go in the fridge and get what she liked.

I am not a strict person but god that one really drove me nuts!

Nope. We aren't going to like everyone, be they children or adults.

All kids (and people) have their peculiarities. We just get used to the peculiarities of our own kids. So what seems OK and normal to me for my kids, others may consider too this or too that. I am sure if I were to have to spend a week with most of my kids' friends, I would not like them as much as I think because as guests in our house they are on their best behavior. And yes, there have been particular kids that just rub me wrong.

It's not wrong to feel whatever you feel. What you do about it is what makes the difference.

These feelings don't have to be permanent.

You still might be a horrible person.

I agree there is something wrong if its your child. i mean I always love my kids even if I not like some of their actions. But you can not like everyone. Around the corner from me there is this family where the boys hit my girls, have stolen a pet from me & have egged & rocked my house. Not outsiding the other things they do. Sighs its life

You have a right to feel how you feel.

~One of my SS's friends I didn't like either, it happens.

There was a couple of children in my son's kindergarten class last year that I just didn't like. I did treat them the way I would other children when I would help in the classroom but once when it was time to go I was happy that I was leaving and that I didn't have to see them until the next time I was helping.

Your not a horrible person. I think everyone at some point in their life has had a situation where they don't like a child because of their behavior etc or are extremely annoyed by them.

oh yes! we have a little girl in our neighborhood that i cannot stand. she cusses, writes curse words on the sidewalk, lies, goes home crying to her dad that everyone is mean to her..... the list goes on and on. I just avoid her all together. She is about 5 years older than my two youngest and 7 years younger than my oldest, so she never comes to my house (thank goodness) to play with my kids. I have to watch all the other neighborhood kids her age fight with her. I am nice to her when i have to be but i have already told my DH, if she acts inappropriate while on my property, i will nicely ask her to go home. She drops the F bomb all the time around the other kids....
good luck!

There are a handful of kids that I feel the same way about. My best friend's little girl is about the single most unpleasant child I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. She is rude, she throws full out, screaming, pounding fists on the floor tantrums, she is defiant, she will outright tell me "NO", etc. I can honestly say, I cannot stand that child.

I certainly do not like all adults, so why would I like all kids? I teach my son that he does not need to like everyone, but he does need to be polite and respectful to everyone.

Oh gee... I work at my kids' school and there are kids I do.not.like.at.all.
But, I am still cordial to them, I don't show them I don't like them.
These are kids that are just noxious and bratty and so.... rude and disrespectful and just spoiled.

There is one kid that gets picked up by her Grandma. An 8 year old. And OMG, that kid is SO bossy and rude to her Grandma. The Grandma you can tell, is just numb already, because of her behavior. If the girl asks to get a treat after school and the Grandma says no... the girl, is so mean to her and talks back and pretty much insults the Grandma. I have overheard these conversations. The Grandma... just stands there trying to ignore her. And you can tell, the Grandma is just fried already inwardly, by this girl.. and you can tell the Grandma is just so burnt out already.
And the Grandma is nice... I see the Grandma TRYING to be mannered to the girl. But the girl has no respect.

No one, adult/or child, HAS TO like everyone all of the time.

Some children, like some adults, are unlikable. Not all children are cute little angles. Some kinda suck. So, no, it's not wrong to not like a child, you're only human.

Doesn't everyone have one of these in their life.

I'm fortunate enough that the one I'm not fond of is not related to me. But ya, I have one.

My mom had a daycare all my life growing up. So I've experienced kids who I were happier to be around than others.

You just have to do your best to put up with the child while around it/them.

Nope, I don't think it's wrong. There are plenty of kids that I wouldn't pick for my DD's friends... but alas she has to like them not me.
If it is super-annoying I may try to limit my time around that kid, however if you are a relative or teacher who has no choice, just make sure you check your preferences at the door and treat the kid the same as everyone else.
Good luck.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with those feelings. Sometimes it can't be helped. My daughter had a friend at school that I didn't care for. She wasn't always nice to other children and sometimes was hurtful to my daughter. I helped my daughter to move on to better relationships. She has been much happier and frankly, so am I.

No, it's not wrong to not like a child. It's sounds like you're trying to treat this child fairly. I would think it would be wrong to not like a child & then to show your dislike by treating them poorly! There have been children over the years that I haven't like either.

No, it's not wrong. What would be wrong is if you (general you, not specifically you) mistreated the child. I wouldn't even feel badly for disliking the child. You feel how you feel, and maybe you even have good reasons. Maybe you don't have any reason at all. Feelings are feelings.

Of course you are not. I don't like everybody either. There have been rude, unbehaved, annoying children that I flat don't like either. I find myself having to distance from the situation to save my sanity.

Of course you are not horrible. You can't like everyone, even a child. If the child's behavior infringes on your ability to be friends with their parents, then consider child-unfriendly get togethers where you both find a sitter. A friend of my husband has a son that is just a terror. It's caused us to pick and choose family events with them because I don't want to be subjected to him and I don't want to impose him on my child.

There is a child that runs in my kids's circle that I really find annoying. My oldest daughter feels the same way. This kid is really a snot and can't say anything nice to my son. Fortunately my son just doesn't get that this kid is slamming him all the time. I love that about my son. He just carries on and does his own thing. I do try to steer my son away from the little bugger and fortunately my girls are not so oblivious to what is going on. They kind of put the kid in his place when he begins acting like a snot. I always tell them they have to be nice to him, but it is fine with me if they leave him alone. I also tell the girls that they have permission to nicely tell this boy to lay off. He is a couple of years older than my son and there are tons of boys that hang in this group so it isn't like my kids have to hang with him when the group gets together. I guess I really try to love the kid and hate his actions. It isn't always easy though.

No, you are not alone.

I have a good neighbor friend who happens to have a daughter the same age as my own. The girls get along fine, for the most part, but while she (the other mom) seems like to like and enjoy my daughter, I can't always say the same about hers, though I would never admit it. And I am always polite and friendly toward her daughter, there's just her behaviors that get under my skin. She's not so much mean or a bully, but more whiny, wants her way all the time, never seems to be in a happy mood. It's all the whining she does that tends to be rub me the wrong way.

There was another little girl in my daughter's preschool class who made me nuts too. Whiny, pouty, didn't listen well, threw fits, all that. Also liked to tell DD things like, "I don't want to be your friend today - I am Emma's friend today." Even her own mother said she could be a brat (and coincidentally, she was another preschool teacher at the same school, but a different classroom). I was always kind to her and didn't treat her any differently than any other child, but deep down, really didn't like her.

You are not alone!

It is not wrong to dislike a child. What is wrong is to treat that child in a manner where your dislike is obvious. I had a neighbor child that I totally loathed, seriously, no redeeming qualities. But I was friends with her mom and faked for many, many years. I avoided her when I could (Thank God I had boys) and I just smiled and acted like I gave a rat's rump. And she has grown up to be a lovely young lady. She actually told me once that I was special because I was always "so encouraging and nice to me all the time." Ha! She had no idea that I more than disliked her. She has proven to me that there is always hope.

Both my girls have brought friends over and love them. Many friends. But there are a few that I just have not meshed well with and the thought of having them come over immediately puts me in a grumpy mood. Most of them don't actually DO anything i.e. be disrespectful, rude, break rules, etc... they just get under my skin! lol There are a few, though, that are misbehaving, and such.... I felt bad, too, the first couple times a friend came over and I just felt like hiding out in my room while the visit took place, but now I just realize that some personality types don't mix well and remember to breathe while they are around!

So, you're not alone.

I don't think so... you don't HAVE to like everyone.

I had a friend who ruined her kids with her non parenting. As a result, the kids were not very nice, polite, respectful, or likeable. I blame it on the parents, though. But I couldn't stand to be around those kids or her. There's a reason I'm not friends with her anymore.

To me, when a child is "bad" it's usually due to poor parenting, and I can't be friends with someone who is a lazy parent, because it's a character flaw, IMO. If you really want to be friends with her, be honest & tell her that you love her, but her kid is a bit much & you need to just do adult only things.