Is It More Important for My Son to Be Smart and Not His Sister??????

I think he is lame and sexist.he thinks with the wrong head :) does he want his daughter to be a ho cause of his thinking? I bet that answer is no. if she is smart she doesnt have to be a ho. she would be able to take care of herself and think for herself. and if she just uses her looks to get through life it would be easy for her to get trapped in an abusive realtionship. I know he wouldnt want that. :) tell him to start thinking with his right head.

My daughter is very intelligent and she is in college right now. I am so proud of her and I wish I was as intelligent and driven as she is at a young age. I discussed the issue with her starting from a young age that I was brought up to depend on a man and things just don't happen that way. She chose the more independent path and says that she will never depend on a man. I make my overwhelming approval known. I don't think any person should be dependent on another. My middle boy does not see the importance of taking care of a woman. I think this is the way society views things now. He is the man of the house right now and I wish he viewed things differently but his dad never chose to stand up and be a man.

Dad sounds like he is living in the "old days" when women stayed home and the men worked...with no option of anything different being done.

Hmm...I guess HE must be the "pretty one" in your marriage...

I am horrified to read this. I think every person regardless of gender needs to have the "smarts" to take care of themselves and to do for themselves. The odds are horribly stacked against a woman to go straight from high school into marriage and never set foot into a full time job. I know there are probably some people reading my thoughts here thinking that I am against SAHM. I absolutely am not but it is important that everyone have the skills and ability to stand on their own two feet. NOTHING in life is guaranteed. Beauty fades, hubbies get bored, people DIE but the bills still need to be paid. I think your husband needs to reconsider his position and even if he doesn't change his stance he needs to keep his mouth shut around your daughter, that is a horrible thing for her to hear at any age. I have worked with (and still do) abused women who are up s%it creek without a paddle when the husband decides to kick them out and this happens to "pretty" women as well as less attractive women. Even if a couple stays together forever it is a dangerous position to be in to be pretty enough to keep a man around but not "smart" enough to support one's self should the need arise to rejoin the workforce

I think your husband needs a strong reality check. You need to sit down and have a frank discussion with him. He is doing both of your children a *huge* disservice with this line of thinking.

Your son and daughter need to be raised as strong, confident, independent people who will be self-sufficent. I'm not saying this is the case but what if your daughter isn't what is considered beautiful? Where does that leave her? With nothing? See how crazy his logic is? You absolutely can not tie up someone's whole package and self-worth in their looks. That *always* works out well right? Would you really want your daughter to measure her self-worth by her looks. Looks don't last.

And what does this tell your son? That looks are really the most important thing for a woman to have. Awesome. That's just what he needs. He needs to learn that we value each other for the entire person.

I would sit the hubby's happy butt down today and let him know how the real world works.

You should ask your husband if he was joking. Is that what he thought about you? If he wasn't joking, you have a serious problem. You will have to do even more work to ensure that your daughter has the support she needs to be independent and intelligent if that is your husband's attitude. It is sexist, plain and simple, and you will have to spend extra time counteracting the influence of those beliefs on your daughter's upbringing. Girls suffer academically in math and science by the time they reach 6th grade because of the prevailing belief that those are "boys" subjects and that girls should focus on subjects like English and because even teachers and administrators often encourage boys to excel in these areas more than they do girls. Girls sometimes begin dieting as early as 4th grade and many suffer from low self-esteem by puberty because of an overemphasis on being pretty. Additionally, God forbid she get divorced, if she has only had to be pretty how will she take care of herself then?

You need to find out if he was kidding and being mr. smarty pants, cause if he's serious - wow - I have no idea what to say. If he's serious, I think you should start to "just be pretty" - too pretty to cook, too pretty to operate anythig, too pretty to etc., etc., and see how well that works for him. LOL!

Seriously - children, regardless of gender, should be encouraged to be the best they can be, and if they have challenges, to work with them to overcome them.

With a divorce rate of approximately 50% a girl needs to be more than pretty....

So your son will feel true self-confidence and self-worth because of his intelligence and accomplishments, and your daughter will feel insecure and in need of compliments and male attention for her fragile self-worth? He will be happy and successful, and she will never feel that she is pretty enough, and could be doomed to a life of insecurity, both emotional and financial?

Your husband sounds seriously sexist. I'd start talking about this now before his attitude does harm to your daughter.

Hopefully he was just being a man and speaking without thinking and doesn't really mean it once you set him straight. But anyway, give him this from me: SLAP!!!

Even IF your daughter is in the rare percentile of women who is trophy wife gorgeous and lands a tycoon to support her forever (and you often meet those types in ivy league schools) and she doesn't even need to be smart enough to be a good mom because she has a full staff of nannies and experts and she's got a killer pre-nup and life insurance policy so even if her husband cheats or dies she never has to lift a finger in the practical world, and that's a pretty big IF, it would still do her well to be smart just so she can have an interesting fulfilling life and hold her own in conversations out at her high society gala events unless she's going to be a total bimbo trophy wife instead of a "society heiress".

And if any other type of life unfolds for her-getting married later, never getting married, marrying someone who only makes a smallish salary, one would certainly hope she could function and succeed and care for herself and be a wise influence on her kids or peers. I mean, beauty shouldn't matter, and nice trumps smart, but smart isn't chopped liver if she has the opportunity to be educated etc. WHAT ???!!! DOES HE REALLY THINK IT WOULD BE GOOD TO LET HIS DAUGHTER BE A PRETTY BIMBO? Not to mention accidents etc happen and there is no guarantee she will always be "pretty" and later in life when beauty fades, it really doesn't hurt to have a brain. Again. Slap.

I have written 6 different responses and all of them were attacking your husband for such a ridiculous and insulting comment.
He needs to take it back and rethink what he said.

Ignorance cannot be changed. But he needs to look around and realize, that every individual needs to be as educated as possible. To start off with this belief is like holding your daughter by her hair and telling her do not even try.

Is he saying something about you? About his mother?

Has he always been this way?
Who are the smartest most intelligent people you know in your lives?
I personally could no longer respect a person that said such a thing about my child. I would suggest marriage counseling to help you and he get to the bottom of this statement and what it will mean to your children in the future..
I hope he was just joking to get a rise out of you. I know he got one out of me..

Well, I agree with the others that possibly he had a lapse of judgement with this comment. Sometimes men have a loss of fliter and he probably didn't mean it exactly as it came across...hopefully! I would probably check back with him and ask him to discuss it with you further, find out what he really thinks, because obviously this line of thinking is not okay, especially if he passes it down to your son!

I will say though, somewhat related, is that it is really important to foster that intelligence in boys, and girls too of course, but boys are much more succeptible to 'being smart isn't cool'. Boys get a lot of grief for being smart the older they get. For girls, it is cool to be smart and you can be smart and pretty and "in", it's not the same for boys. So, in that sense, I would agree that you need to make sure both your kids, but especially your son, understand the importance of trying their hardest, learning to study hard, etc.

WOW -I'm sorry, but I would have a hard time not slapping my husband if he said anything so ignorant. It's 2010 -not 1950. People have different intelligence levels, but the idea that ANYONE can get by on looks alone is ignorant and extremely misguided. I guess your husband would like for his daughter to be at the mercy of whatever guy decides to support her while she stays at home and looks pretty. No need for an education or intelligence there -and if that guy cheats on her, abuses her -too bad -she'll have to stay because she won't have any other options to support herself. Great plan!

I also know a number of incredibly beautiful women who are still single and have never been married or had the option of just "looking pretty" while being supported. No one is guaranteed marriage or relationship success in this life. These women aren't just beautiful by my standards either; they are commonly discussed by many because it's amazing they haven't found anyone -they're really gorgeous. They all have good jobs and careers though -and it's a good thing -because luckily their parents weren't dolts who thought their pretty girls could just coast by on looks.

Also -you do understand that while people learn information in school and life, basic intelligence varies from individual to individual. What if your daughter is really smart? Regardless of how intelligent her brother may or may not be, she may be very intelligent and need many outlets for it. She may wind up finding the cure for cancer some day or decide she wants to be a neurosurgeon. I'm sorry, but I'm just flabbergasted at the lack of intelligence your husband is showing and almost think this must be a joke posting.

You may want to inform your husband that many men stay at home with the kids these days as well. Why? Because when the decision came down to who was going to stay at home, their intelligent wives who make a lot more money than they do opted to stay in the workforce since they bring home a bigger paycheck, while hubby took some time off and stayed home with the babies.

I really can't believe anyone would say anything like that in this day and age. I guess it goes to show that regardless of how smart your daughter is -she's already smarter than her dad!

What is this, 1884?

Is this your husband's attitude toward women in general? Or was he just kidding? I would be shocked too - and really, really angry! What does he expect your daughter to do when she is grown up? What if she just counts on a man to take care of her the rest of her life and then he ups and leaves her, or dies, or turns out to be abusive in some way, or is not responsible with money? What other resources is she going to have to fall back on?

Both my parents, including my dad, taught me that I could not depend on a man for financial support - if I got married, if he was a great guy with a 6-figure income, then great. But I needed to be able to support myself no matter what and that meant getting a college education. And for me that meant becoming a veterinarian, since I loved animals too and I am very fortunate that I was able to turn that into an amazing career that pays well and is very fulfilling outside of being a wife and a mother. It also means that I can support my family and be the main breadwinner and DH is the stay-at-home parent. If something happened to him, or between us, it would be devastating, but I know at least money-wise I would be okay. It also means I have enough self-confidence to stand up to him and speak my mind when I think he's out of line instead of just letting him call the shots and make all the decisions like so many men seem to do that I hear about on here, with wives that seem afraid to talk to them about anything. And I will always be a veterinarian, regardless of what I look like - I could get burns and scars on my face, I could lose my hair from chemotherapy, I could grow a 3rd eyeball, it doesn't matter. I am a veterinarian and nothing nor no one can take that away from me.

I think you and DH need to talk about his more, and find out what his expectations are for his daughter - ask him what he expects her to do if the whole "just being pretty" thing does not work out. Hopefully he was just joking. Wouldn't he rather have a daughter who is educated and can think for herself and can be independent? What would make him more proud? What year does he think it is?

Sorry, but hubby sounds a little chauvinistic. I'd hit him upside the head for being a bozo.

Oh gag me! I can't tell you how much your husbands comment made me want to barf. Regardless of the sexes of your children it's best to be prepared for as much of everything as possible. There's no guarantee anyone will find anyone to take care of them and even if they do their partner could get run over by a bus, die of cancer or a heat attack and if there are children to be raised, how is she going to do it if she's some protected hot house flower who can't do anything for herself?
And what if her standard of 'pretty' does not meet up with what ever the going 'pretty' standard is at the time? Focusing on 'pretty' means possible eating disorders, wanting plastic surgery, etc. I'm hoping your husband wants more for her than that. And I'm hoping he wants more than 'pretty' from any future daughter-in-law as well.

WOW. No comment except to agree with almost everything said below. And if my husband said that I would have packed my bags. He has no respect for women. I am sorry for you and your daughter.

That is ridiculous! I haven't looked at the other posts yet but I think, If my husband said that to me I'd ask him if he married me because I'm pretty and stupid! Both of your kids should be rewarded for good grades once they are in school. What if your daughter chooses a career and doesn't get married right away. Your kids will learn at different levels but I wouldn't say it's ok for your daughter to get bad grades and not your son. I would tell your husband to never share his theory with your daughter, if she doesn't figure out how important grades are right away she might slack off and regret it.

I think it is offensive that the sex of a child should determine the importance of their I.Q. You can't change a child's looks but you can certainly help educate your child.

Wow - I think my reaction was the same as yours! Boys have the same options of being stay-at-home dads...both boys & girls should reach their maximum potential and work toward any goal they set for themselves. Life happens and plans change - girls may choose to be a working mom, stay-at-home moms their whole lives, or be like you - take time off to raise kids then go back to work. Talking specifically about your daughter & something your husband may not have thought of, she needs to be given every advantage to be independent...that way if something goes wrong as an adult (i.e. her husband loses his job, dies unexpectedly, or even he leaves her), she will be able to support herself.

I hope, for the sake of you and your daughter, that he was kidding or not fully thinking when he was talking and it came out wrong. Relationships are not healthy when one person has to be dependent on the other person because they are not "smart" enough to take care of themselves. The best relationships happen when you have to independent people learning to integrate their lives. They want to be together because they want to, not because one needs the other to survive.

Only you know your husband well enough to know if he's ignorant, sexist, or just speaks before he thinks. But in general, it depends a lot on expectations. A girl who is just pretty is relying on either a modeling job (and she'd better be incredibly pretty) or a husband to care for her, and a husband who isn't hoping to be intellectually stimulated by his wife or have his wife teach and develop the intelligence of their children at that. Even in that rare and rather unappealing case, and assuming she is gorgeous and not just moderately pretty, she runs the risk of marrying a man who loses his job, who becomes disabled, who dies, or who is so shallow that he divorces her when someone younger or prettier comes along. There is no way, in today's modern world and economy, for a woman to predict whether she'll be able to stay at home or have to work. Oh, and by the way, this doesn't account for a woman who might actually WANT to work. Sorry, I think girls and boys both need to be educated and smart to make it in the word.

I love all of the responses...go mama's! I HOPE he wasn't serious! There are many differnet kinds of 'smart' and I guess I'm wondering what kinds of 'smart' your hubby has, because clearly if he actually thinks this he is lacking some of the more basic kinds of 'smart'! It is important for both of your children to succeed in both academic and emotional intelligence for their sense of self worth and happiness in life. It's not just a matter of women being prepared to take care of themselves financially if single, but a matter of how we view ourselves and the world around us.

I agree with the other mama's for sure and like many am always surprised to hear people actually think this way! It isn't 1911 it's 2011 and even 100 years ago women were fighting for rights to go to college and even vote. We are and always have been more than a pretty face and society has advanced in all fields because of our smarts.

I just find it so odd anyone would think over half of our population doesn't need to be smart?!!! And that there would be an assumption all of one gender is actually smart! Is your husbands ignorant (hopefully joking) statement supposed to represent the 'smart' side of his gender? If so, we are in trouble as a society because it wasn't a very intelligent remark to make.

Stick to your guns and pride and own intelligence mama! Nurture intelligence in both your children so they can be happy, well adjusted, and secure people. And maybe nurture your husband by enrolling him in some classes...sounds like he needs some more 'smart' ;)

I hope he was joking! What a terrible thing to say about his daughter!

The research suggests that it's important for both of your kids to be both attractive and smart, unfortunately. That's the objective truth.

You better tell your husband, though, that unless he wants his daughter treated like the "pretty, dumb girl" he better act 150% like she's the smartest person on the planet, because kids become what we expect of them.

Good luck.

.

Your husband, is he 90? LOL
Pretty women dont get far for very long if they dont have a brain to go with their looks. Why on earth he would want her "dependent" on some man some day is beyond me. I'm sure he didnt really MEAN what he said..... so I wouldnt take it too serious.

I think your husband is a caveman! LOL
Seriously, "pretty" doesn't last forever and what kind of self worth does a girl get from being "pretty" and that's it?
I have a son, but I know if I had a daughter, I would like for her to be a strong, self-sufficient, independent woman with "pretty" as a bonus.

I have to wonder if he was being facetious! Surely he didn't really mean that and if he did, I'm offended!

I think it is very important for a girl to be smart and have a way to pave her own road in life. I have NEVER expected to get by on my looks and I was pretty darn good looking way back when!

Who wants to live with the 'dumb blonde' stigma (and yes, ladies, I'm a blonde- no offense needs to be taken! LOL!) for the rest of their lives?

Um no. Even a woman who gets married to a successful man and is just a pretty housewife, she still needs to be street smart, business savvy, educated for her own benefit, and to make running a house and raising talented and educated children a success. And what if her husband cheats on her, or beats her, or dies, or becomes disabled and so she is forced to work. What if she never marries, what is she does and finds joys in her career? What if your daughter *isn't* pretty when she grows up? That kind of thinking is extremely sexist and shocking in this day and age, and it will likely make both children competitive for their dad's approval and against each other as well.

Does he expect your daughter to marry a rich guy who will treat her great and do everything for her? Chances are she will need to work and take care of herself. Hubby is wrong and I can't believe he really thinks that.

A lot of woman go to college then have kids and stay at home with them, maybe that is what he ment.

Wow. That man needs to be hit with a clue-by-four, pronto.

I think it's important for both of them to be "smart" and able to take care of themselves and not have to need anyone for their survival. When I was growing up my mom never talked about us (my siser and I) getting married or having kids. We never had the mindset that we would be at home raising kids it was always that we grow up and get a job or did something to generate income. My father was gone and remarried by the time I was 5 years old. Also, I did not know any moms whose marriage lasted or mom's who were able to stay at home. Where I come from women take care of themselves. Even to this day my husband has a great job and I still work because I just need that security for myself.
Not every women will be lucky enough to have a husband or man who is going to see that they live the life of luxury. And it does not matter what the women looks like. She can be the most beautiful women in the world and a man will still leave her for something that is less.

Hi Lisa---I can't believe your husband said such a thing. I pray he hasn't done anything that would mess with your daughter's self-esteem yet. Otherwise he may have created a lifetime of underachieving for her.

But, it may not be so important that your daughter be 'smart' as able to take care of herself in case she may have to do so sometime in her future. Getting and staying married these days is not a given and she needs to have marketable skills so that she can provide for herself and her family if necessary. What would happen if her husband was to suddenly die? Life insurance only goes so far, especially if he would die young.

The most important thing your daughter needs to know is that she can do anything that she wants to do in terms of an education and profession. But she does need to aspire to an education/being smart so that she has every option available to her when she needs them.

Good luck. D.

Wow, can we get some more hot coals to rake him over? Here's my two cents: hubbies aren't always good at expressing things. He may not be kidding, but I don't think he meant what he was saying in a horrible, misogynistic way either.

What does every dad want for his daughter? He wants her to grow up to be a wonderful loving woman with a husband who adores her and takes care of her (men like to take care of their women... it makes them feel manly) and never leaves her or does anything stupid like that. He wants his daughter to be able to make the decision of whether she wants to work or not. Perhaps he was heading in that direction, in optimism of his daughter's picture-perfect future, instead of the way he actually said it.

That being said, my husband might say something like that just to get a rise out of me. I think he enjoys watching me turn purple, lol. =)

Society is FAR less accepting of housewives these days... but even that is far more accepting than househusbands. Distasteful or not, what your husband said is also fairly accurate. Especially in the upper class where college is often referred to as "Working on my W.I.F. degree." As in girls have 2 options : advanced degrees for the "smart" ones, and WIF degrees for the pretty ones.

Also... an ugly man can be *extraordinarily* successful, but an ugly woman has an almost impossible time.

I'm not saying I agree with the concept... but your husband's words from an sociological standpoint are pretty accurate. It's accepted *these days* that a "successful" woman can be pretty, smart, or smart and pretty. (not so long ago the 2 were exclusionary). A successful man, otoh, needs to be smart. Looks don't matter NEARLY as much with men as they do with women.

Well, looks only go so far. I wonder what your husband would think if you looked great but could not keep a budget? "SHOE SHOPPING! But I HAVE TO HAVE forty gazillion shoes! You don't need dinner! It just makes you fat!"

yowza!!! Well if hubby truly believes this then it is his job as head of family to only have your daughter marry a very wealthy man. Aside from that I do hope he was joking. Goodness, that is nothing your daughter should know. Male of female all should be educated and encouraged to be contributing citizens to society. I hope this is the only 1950's thoughts your hubs has.

I would raise my kids equally. His views are out dated, but he does have a point in that it is easier for a woman to find someone to care for her if she can not care for herself than it is for a man that can not care for himself. Of course, we want to raise all our children to be able to care for themselves and not need to depend on others.

I think maybe his "joke" was a foot in mouth kind of thing. it sounds as if it came out wrong. First and foremost i dont think he was saying women shouldnt learn, or that your daughter is stupid. I think he was merely pointing out that women who are beautiful have things a little easier, and was calling your daughter beautiful.

Bonehead way of putting it, but yeah, cut him some slack

Updated

I think maybe his "joke" was a foot in mouth kind of thing. it sounds as if it came out wrong. First and foremost i dont think he was saying women shouldnt learn, or that your daughter is stupid. I think he was merely pointing out that women who are beautiful have things a little easier, and was calling your daughter beautiful.

Bonehead way of putting it, but yeah, cut him some slack

Tell him to stop thinking with his balls and use his brain instead. It's important to anyone to reach their full intellectual capacity regardless of gender.

My 5 y/o daughter is GORGEOUS!! Long dark brown hair, fair skin with some golden freckles and huge green eyes. Do you think I don't encourage her to learn, read and explore? I'm on her to learn new things together, to read, to be active in the world around her... it's important for EVERYONE.

Women are smarter than men naturally. That's a talent god gave us so that we can nurture our offsprings. And, women need to be smart not just for being able to work and be independent but to deal with men like your spouse and to be able to bring up her kids and run the family wisely if she chose to get married and stay home

I think you should start finding every opportunity to remark on your daughter's intelligence.

I think you should ask your husband if he perhaps wants you to go back to work now. It kinda feels like he was trying to make a not-so-subtle-or-helpful jab?

Obviously, not all men need to be smart to get somewhere in life. Look at your husband, for example. He's a little slow himself, but managed to marry one smart cookie.

in this day and age its important for both boys and girls to be educated. its nice that she is pretty too.

he might not of meant it as you took it. sometimes people just talk without really thinking.

Hey who says you don't work harder at home than you do in the workforce i take care of my kids and run a business out of the house i am constantly working anyway whats the difference i am not looking to get back into anything i already still there. I enjoy doing what i am doing i think the way your hubbie thinks is rediculous and hes racial but other than that. I feel all children should do there best and that they are what god gave them and should not be labeled so quick it teaches them how to label and they should have open minds to everything growing up learning right from wrong but having open opinions and feeling, not labeling and saying im a girl so i need to be a barbie and my sons a dr because hes a geniuous is not right. Thats how i feel. I think your husbands wrong!

I thought no one would agree with your husband's statement, but actually Riley makes a good point.

But, whatever, your daughter is what she is, regardless of your husband's opinion. And women don't always have the option of not working, even though it's nice if a guy feels it's his duty to support and care for his family.

Let's put a positive spin on your husband's statement -- I guess he does feel that men should take care of their women -- and that's a nice sentiment.

Right on, Jane, below.

maybe he was jk. my lil sis is a little ditzy and we often joke that its a good thing she is pretty and hopefully will marry rich

I hope he was making a bad joke!

That must have been very hurtful for YOU to hear too!

Clearly your husband does not know what decade or century he is living in. I'd be shocked too, to discover aftr all this time that your husband thinks that about women. It'd be a real eye opener for me, and I'd be asking myself some serious questions.
Girls can't just be pretty. Girls are not raised to be trophy wives, and don't get married right out of high school anymore, they haven't been for half a century. Also, men are not looking for "pretty" women, they are looking for accomplished women. Girls and boys are both raised with the goals of college. Young women usually graduate from college, start a career and live on their own before marrying. Then they continue to work, often even when they have young children.
Even if your daughter never worked, married right out of school and was a housewife and stay home mom, stay at home moms need to be smart! They often have to use good budget sense and understand finance to make sure that one salary covers all the expenses, they are a child's first teacher, etc.
Your husband's attitude is similar to my MIL's, who is constantly shocked at how "smart" my daughter is and is constantly making comments about her being "pretty." Pretty isn't going to get her into a good pre-vet college in a couple of years and no one cares how pretty the person spaying their cat is.
I don't know of any young women who have the option of never working, being supported by parents til some man takes them off their parents' hands. Most men are not looking for that! If they hear that you're 24, you graduated high school and never worked, you hang around your parents' house all day for six years doing nothing, they're not going to be interested.

Hello Lisa - in the sense of what society accepts and does not accept, I am hoping your husband is saying that, in general, attractive people have advantages that unattractive people do not. As a business woman I know firsthand that women have to be more intelligent, more accurate, more presentable, generally need to work harder and have an incredible balance of strength and soft skills than men do not require. That takes an education and intelligence. From my experience, to succeed in business, as a housewife, well anything, she will need to be smart regardless of how pretty she is. If not, then likely someone is helping her to succeed, she is not succeeding on her own.

Alas, as sad as it is, men and women are not viewed equal in house or work. Both me and my husband travel with our respective jobs and at least once a trip, when someone finds out I have a 2 yr old, they ask me "who is home taking care of your son?" (by both men and women). My husband has yet to be asked that question. In case you have not guessed, my husband is home taking care of our son while I travel.

I think that it is equally important for both boys and girls to get as much education and learning- and to never stop! Not that they have to go to college forever- but to teach a love of reading and learning is very important for their growth and independence. You don't want to raise a daughter who can't think for herself just because she is pretty- she needs to be able to make her own decisions- and they need to be well thought out and informed choices. I hate going into a car repair shop and the workers there treating me as if I know nothing- I got the same from my Realtor when we were buying a house a while back even though it was up to me to do all the research in looking for a house because my husband couldn't take the time off of work. If anything, your daughter might need to be more knowledgeable in a lot of areas where she might be taken advantage of because of the thought that pretty girls don't need to know this stuff. Yes, your son needs to be smart also- so he doesn't get taken advantage of either, but it is much more likely that unless your daughter knows better(because she is taught) she will get taken advantage of- especially if she is pretty.
You also have to realize that there are a lot more stay at home dad's now too- their wives make better money- so they now have the option of not working- and it's not because they are pretty. It's just comes down to what works best for their family. I do encourage equal education for my boys and my girls- and my girls are every bit as smart as my boys are. Life doesnt' always turn out the way we plan- so it's best to be prepared.
~C.

I am offended by your hubby's attitude. That is ridiculous. He is living in the dark ages and needs to know that women need to seek educational opportunities and be able to support themselves. He should want the best for his daughter and his attitude could stifle her future success.

I would probably slap someone if they said that to me! That's all I have to say.

please tell me that he was joking :(

I think your hubby is living in the dark ages. Some women never marry or marry, stay home, and something happens that they have to go work. Without the necessary tools, they will always work at low-level jobs. Everyone needs to be smart and get an education and/or job training appropriate to their skills/interests. I'm all for moms being home with their kids while they're young then seeing what they need to do. You can't overestimate the value of a mom being home for the kids, but the reality is that most women must work outside the home and some are just happier that way. Hold your ground, Lisa. His philosophy isn't a message your kids need to hear. Maybe if you took a college class, it would show him and your kids that women are best when educated. Even if you have a degree, you could pursue more education. Think about it, but I'm all for you being home for those kids during these vulnerable years. You're the smart one!