Intimacy - Fort Worth,TX

This is really not about sex.... He wants his way all the time and will get to the point that he will do anything to get it. I would suggest counseling.

Been there, done that, and eventually divorced that guy. If they can't compromise and only want to control you and be cry babies if they don't get any...... they have a lot of growing up to do.
He sounds very insecure, that's how my ex was. Sex was love to him. He wouldnt accept it in any other form. To bad for him. Counseling didnt help either.
If he is completely unwilling to compromise so that you can both relax and be satisfied with your love making schedule your anger and stress will affect every other part of your marriage and daily attitude in general.
I'm all for women not ignoring their husband and making sure they get the attention they do deserve, but a demanding husband does not deserve anything.
Sex is not a competition, each of you trying to control its frequency and being unsuccessful pits you against each other and its a lose lose for both of you.

No talk, no sex.
PERIOD.
We talk.
We listen to one another.
We give feedback to show we UNDERSTAND what we each said.
If he won't talk, go to counseling for yourself.
Hopefully he'll want to go to counseling with you.
And . . . . . what do you mean you get along great?
Really?
Doesn't sound so great to me.
====================================
TWENTY-SIX YEARS??????????????
THREE HUNDRED TWELVE MONTHS???????
ONE THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED FIFTY-TWO WEEKS??
NINE THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED SIXTY-FOUR NIGHTS.
If my arithmatic was correct.
I did not check my computations.
Assuming you had some children during those months, years.
Presume we can take maybe six weeks off times however many children.
Yes?
Assuming you went off with the children maybe a few times,
to visit aunts, grandparents, special events.
so let's subtract another maybe twenty-eight or thirty-five nights.
Maybe more.
So, DH has had his way, whether with happy cooperation
or irritated submission, maybe NINE THOUSAND NIGHTS.
NINE THOUSAND NIGHTS.
And, on how many of those nights
did he tell you how much he loves you?
On how many of those nights did he sing to you
or read poetry to you or spend some time
caressing you and pleasing you for an hour or two?
On how many of those nights did you enjoy one or more orgasms?
On how many of those nights did simply "get off"
and roll over and go to sleep.
You get along great, do you?
Somehow I doubt this very much.
Thank you for asking this question here.
In addition to whatever responses you get,
I think you have provided a great service
to many of the moms here . . . .
regarding perspective on their relationships with their DHs.
Assuming you do have one or more daughters or nieces,
is this how you would like them to be treated by their SOs?
Whew.
==============================
Just a little bit more . . . an afterthought.
It may be that his "requirement" or need for sex every night
isn't simply about "getting off".
Y'know how sometimes on here, we talk about self-soothing
for young children, learning to go to sleep or teething or whatever.
I wonder if this is DH's ONLY method for letting go of tension,
of preparing for sleep after the stresses/challenges of his day.
I wonder if he has never considered that there are other possibilities
for taking care of himself physically and emotionally.
Does he exercise?
Does he belong to any community or fraternal organizations?
Does he participate in any volunteer activities?
I wonder if he's totally limited in his ability to consider
alternative possibilities in his daily routine.

Marriage counseling. Him not being able to compromise, getting so angry, you not being able to talk to him...these are HUGE problems. This a bomb waiting to go off, in your home. You need outside help. I agree with a lot of what Hummingbird has said...but I would really give counseling a try. This might be something you two can work on, with the help of a professional.

Hi D.,
I see by your profile that you've been married 26 years?! So you've been having this 'sex every night' conflict for decades?!

Men and women have very different views/needs/wants regarding sex. It's clear your husband does not understand the difference. And I wonder if you do.

If your husband knows a couple who've been married for 26 years and are having sex every night (or even married for 2 years!), I would LOVE to meet them!

Your post is so brief it's hard to get a feel for the rest of your marriage. But yes, it's just silly and archaic for a man to get 'REALLY MAD" if he doesn't have sex with his wife EVERY night.

THe same way it would be silly for you to expect endless emotional support/patience constant appreciation from HIM every single day.

I'm sure there is much more to this story, but if by your post you are just looking for 'the girls' to 'feel your pain' then it'll be a resounding...

"I HEAR YA SISTA!"

I suggest however, just for your own peace of mind, you further investigate this subject by googling and or reading many wonderful books....

It is an age old conflict.

Meanwhile, no, men with eternal hard-ons cannot expect their wives to feel the same way EVERY day.

.

I agree this sounds like a control issue. I'll bet he has lots to say about all aspects of your life...your home...your food....etc...etc...etc....

Ha...sounds like my husband. Isn't it a pleasure to be married to someone so immature?

Obviously it's not making love, it's making resentment. To counseling you go.

My DH and I went through this for the first couple of years of our marriage. Full Disclosure I was on the pill for the first 9 months and I did not do well on it. Once I got off it helped me see that there were other things going on. I finally agreed to every night then it had to be two times a day. I finally figured out that there was a sexual addiction that he was dealing with and it was driving this "need". His dad gave him a box of condoms for his 15th birthday and there was bad stuff in the house. I can't tell you what we found 3 years ago in his dad's house when he died.
I finally shut down until he would talk about it. He threw many fits and there were many tears, but we finally worked our way through it. In hindsight I wish we would have seen a counselor, and in reality I shouldn't have married him, BUT 13 years and we are doing better than ever. He realized his fantasies and things he thought were sexy sayings were actually very belittling to me. He finally came around...
FIND a counselor!

Yeah, counseling. I didn't know it when I was going through it, but mine thought a relationship contained 2 things---provision and sex. That was it! I walked around in a blur with kids, bills, etc., while he worked all the time, came home very late after a 16-hour day, and then wanted to have sex. Too much to tell, but we are still together with God's help, reared the kids, and by the time he was 55, he was through with sex. WHAT A RELIEF!!!! Now he just works all the time. So it does get better eventually. However, if your hubby will go to counseling, by all means GO! Mine wouldn't, so I just got through it the best I could. I could have left, but decided I would only put myself in a financial bind and split the family. Hindsight is always 20/20. I see now how I could have done it differently, but I couldn't see it then. I do have a nice life now, so I'm not sorry I stayed.

The book : The 5 Love Languages.
You will learn a lot.