Interfaith Marriage

Updated on October 02, 2008
S.H. asks from Long Beach, CA
6 answers

Just wondering if there are any people who are in interfaith marriages?

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J.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My fiance is catholic and I'm Ba'hai. But it works well because my faith accepts all others and my fiance isn't about trying to convert me.

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C.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm Catholic and my husband was raised "Reform Jewish". We've been married 24 years. Our children were raised Catholic, although my husband claims I've taught the kids a lot more about the Jewish faith than he would have. It helps that we have some neighbors that are orthodox Jewish. We also have neighbors who are Islamic, Buddist, and Hindu, and there are only six houses on our court!

My in-laws come from out of state to both of our kids "First Communions." My father-in-law (who doens't go to Jewish Services very often) said that he liked the Catholic service better because it was in English. A lot of the reform congagrations are using Hebrew more and more, which he, like my husband, never learned. My in-laws are very supportive.

On a humorous note when my daughter was 5 (she's now 16) we were at Christmas Eve Mass (my husband usually comes with us to church on Christmas and Easter). My daughter looked at me and said, "I don't want to be Catholic any more. I want to be Jewish." I said, "OK -- I'll check with "local relatives" and see what time they go to services -- I think its Friday nights or Saturday mornings. We can go with them." My daughter said, "Oh, never mind."

C.C.

answers from Fresno on

Yep. I am not a believer (but was raised Catholic), and my husband is a Baptist. We don't go to church, although if he wanted to, I'd go with him. We agreed to let our kids decide for themselves if they want to be religious, and if so, what faith.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Dearest SL,

And YET we wonder WHY? Hey Mamas and Pappas, it isn't working! The divorce rate is higher then ever. We let our children decide on matters that should not have to be decided by children, because as adults, we can be such “mess Ups!.”

We must create a cohesive, secure foundation for our children and when they are old enough to make a conscious decision based on actual experience…OK. If you and your spouse are of different faith and have children, attend the different services as a family. Let them know, this is Dad’s faith, this is Mom’s faith, we love each other and when you are old enough, we want you to make your own choice. The truth is, your child may not choose either, but at least neither of you has created a “tug-of-war” situation.

Blessings….

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L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I am christian, and my hubby isn't. It works for us, I dont try to "convert" him, and our daughter has a choice of what she wants to participate in.

A.H.

answers from Sacramento on

I do. :) We respect each others choices. I don't pressure him to convert and he does not pressure me. Our children can choose their faith when they are old enough. That's how I was raised. My parents were of different faiths. They very open to me attending different types of faith meetings for different beliefs. They were very encouraging for me to read all I could on different faiths. I've always wanted to give my children the same opportunity.

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