Jewish/catholic Familes- What Do You Do?

Unfortunately, I have yet to meet a family where they have managed to mix both religions successfully. If you think about it, the essence of Catholicism (and Christianity) is the belief in Jesus, while Judaism is still waiting for the Messiah. Basically, you can't be Jewish and believe in Jesus or be Catholic and not believe in Jesus. If going to church or temple is important to you, I think you should chose which religion is the most important one for your family. You should do this with your husband and reach a full agreement. After chosing, you can always celebrate the other holidays as part of a tradition, making the children aware of their heritage. Once you start looking for a temple/church, you may want to find a liberal community, where they're accepting of inter-married couples (such as a reform temple; I know less of Catholic communities -- episcopalians and presbyterians are more liberal). Good luck.

Hi. Our family is in the same situation. I am Jewish and my husband is Catholic. Since we started dating and became serious I told him I wanted to raise our children Jewish. He has been very supported and his family too. We go to his parents house for Christmas but we do not celebrate it in our house. However, a lot of our friends are in the same situation and they do raise there children Jewish but celebrate Christian holidays in their homes. We also joined a reform syngagogue in Vernon Hills that have a lot of members who are in the same situation so it is nice for our children. Also, my husband feels very comfortable there too. Good luck! I know it is a hard subject to deal with as a couple.

Good morning C....Ladies,

I'd like to give my personal experience here about this situation.
I was married nearly 13 years ago and I was Jewish raised in Skokie. I met my husband who is Catholic, and at the time of our dating, engagement and marriage, the thought of raising kids in a certain religion wasn't an issue.

When I came into my 20's I began to have more and more friends who were Catholic. My best friend was raised Catholic and she having older siblings, I found myself attending their weddings and Baptisms. Never before that have I stepped foot in a Church of any kind. I found myself facsinated with the liturgy and became more interested in the Christian faith.

My husband and I had kids 2 years after we got married and I kept saying that same thing you are talking about....."I'd like to raise the kids with both faiths in the house." realizing soon after that this is certainly not possible. The Christian faith and the Jewish faith are too contradicting. You cannot teach both and not confuse the kids. It wasn't until after my daughter was born and I was pregnant again with my son that I realised I needed to make a decision. I always knew that I needed to choose a faith and stick to it. I researched and studied. I went to both services and ultimatly I felt more comfortable and believed closer to the Christian (Catholic) faith.

I had my kids baptized at the ages of 2 1/2 and 4 months old, both at once. I came into full communion myself at the age of 30, close to a year after my own kids were baptized. I am now a practicing Catholic along with my husband and kids. I belong to many ministries and my daughter is an Alter Server.

I have had many people, especially those on my side of the family give me so much grief about my choice. Never for one second have I abandoned my Jewish Heritage as they claim I have. My kids know that I was raised Jewish and ask me questions all the time about it, and I'm always happy to tell them all about it. My mother-in-law gave my kids for one Christmas a book and CD set about Hannukah.

The Catholic faith stems from the Jewdiac and the Old Testement is included in the Christian bible and read by all Christians and the Jewish people are held in high regard and Biblical figures are worshipped.

To make myself clear though, I do not celebrate both religions in the house, I only answer questions my kids ask about being Jewish and how I was raised. We don't go to temple unless we are invited to a specific celebration.

In my opinion, I feel in becoming a Christian, I have the best of both worlds. I am a Jewish Christian and am proud of my choice and the choice I made for my kids.

I hope my story helps, even a little bit. Good luck to you.

EDITED TO ADD: I recieved a lovely private message from Naomi S. Thank you so much for the PM, I didn't see a reason to send me a nasty message and so I decided to let you all read it and decide for yourselves what she had to say to me.......

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Do you realize that no matter what you practice you are not catholic? If one is born a Jew they remain a Jew regardless of their habits and traditions. I feel sorry that you are missing out on your genuine heritage and that your children are being taught a religion which is not theirs. Obviously you chose to practice catholicism because of your complicated situation but please bare in mind that you may be missing out a very wealthy, meaningful religion which is truly your own. I know every religion has its ups and downs and sometimes we embrace one custom over another but just know that there is so much more to Judaism than what you may have seen or learned. I do not write this to preach to you or have a holier than thou attitude rather to let you know what a tremendous gift you possess in your own religion, Judaism. May G-d bless you and your family and bring you peace in your worship of Him and His ways.
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Naomi, What I failed to mention in my original post this morning because I lacked the time.

MY MOTHER WAS NOT JEWISH! SHE WAS CATHOLIC, SO THEREFORE ACCORDING TO THE OLD JEWISH LAWS, I AM NOT JEWISH EITHER. MY FATHER WAS THE JEWISH ONE IN THE FAMILY, AND I WAS RAISED BY HIS SIDE AND ONLY WAS EXPOSED TO THE HERITAGE NOT THE RELIGIOUS ASPECT OF IT.

So lastly, I stand by what I said earlier......I AM CATHOLIC!

C., I don't know if I responded to you or not. In downtown Chicago there is a church, Old St Pats, that houses a Family School for Catholic and Jewish families to raise their children in both religions. My son and daughter-in-law belong and the 3 children love the family school.

Finally asked my daughter-in-law for the exact information for Jewish-Catholic families. Here it is. Hope this helps everyone on the list. M.

Chris Kopka is the name of the person who welcomes new families, or interested families, to Family School. Her email address is ____@____.com website is http://www.the-family-school.org/; most of the website is password-protected for members, but this link brings you to a public information page. Thanks for thinking of spreading the word to other Jewish-Catholic couples! Angela

Wow, this is a really personal subject that can really fuel some fire.
I am Jewish and my husband is not. When we started dating seriously, I made it clear to him that I wanted to raise a Jewish family and if he wanted to be serious, he would have to be ok with that.
I have heard of some that try to raise the kids in both religions, but I think it would be confusing for them.
I think it would be less confusing to raise them in one of the religions, and expose them a bit to the other, but that is just my opinion.
Whatever you do, you and your husband should agree upon and be willing to support throughout. You both need to be on the same boat for something like this.
I wish you lots of luck!
T.

Hi-

We had a similar situation. I was raised Catholic, and married someone who is Jewish, but was raised in a Unitarian Universalist church. When my daughter turned 4, we looked around and found a UU church where we felt at home. We've been members of different UU congregations, and feel comfortable there. I don't know if this would fulfill your needs, but they don't insist that everyone believe the same thing. To me, it seems more about finding your own beliefs, and respecting others and the world around us. I am probably not explaining it well, but you can go to the website: http://www.uua.org/aboutus/ There are further links to find congregations near you, if you want to visit.
Good luck.

Depends who's who, I think. According to Jewish law if your mother is Jewish by birth your children are Jewish by birth, whether the dad is or not. And according to Catholicism, the lineage goes by the dad, I believe. Either way, kids usually grow up a bit confused in an interfaith marriage. Unfortunately there is little to do once the marriage exists. I am simply being factual, you can ultimately do whatever you want, but really it matters mostly what you are. You spend the bulk raising them, you are at home with them, you are the mother. Dads play an important and significant role in the family and home however religiously it matters a lot more what religion the mother is. Just what religious law preaches from my perspective. Again, do what works for you and your husband and what you are comfortable with but getting bits and pieces of both religions rather than serious knowledge from one solid religion often gives kids less in the long run. This is what I have seen teaching sunday school as well. Good luck -- not an easy choice.

Hi - We are an interfaith family. One of the resources that I have been particiularly happy about it the Interfaith Union (see http://www.theinterfaithunion.org). They are not a church/temple, but rather a group for interfaith families. The offer Sunday education for children starting in Kindergarten, have meetings on 1 Sunday a month (and provide childcare), and a lot of other resources. On their website, they list a number of churches and temples that welcome interfaith families as well. I think you'll find a lot of good information on the website.

Hello! You may be interested in learning something about the Bahai Faith. I have known many people of different backgrounds explore what the Bahai Faith has to offer. What I've learned is that it accepts all religions, the (unity of religion) and that when people become Bahai's they are able to accept the teachings of Baha'u'llah, and still preserve their ethnic and cultural heritage! It may be a special way to unify and integrate your families beliefs and cultures. The Baha'i Temple/ Baha'i House of Worship in Wilmette is a beautiful place to learn more, and All Are Welcome! There are Baha'i communities and activities in every city, so there is something for everyone. It may be exactly what you are seeking!:)

I, too, belong to the Interfaith Union. I am Christian and my husband is Jewish. We were married by a Rabbi and a pastor. They co-officiated the ceremony and it was absolutely perfect! They have a congregation that meets downtown for regular services. However, they offer services for the high-holidays and such. One place is at St. Raymond's in Mt. Prospect. They also meet at a church in Evanston, and one in downtown Chicago. The group is easy to find. Just "google" it.