I'm Frustrated, Please Help!

Hi there, here's what I think. Go about it in the exact opposite way that you're doing now. More than being able to do what he wants, he wants and needs to know that you hear him. So if he starts to go on and on about let's say the park, then get to his level, look him in the eye, and say "you really like the park, right? you want to go there and play? let's do that! We are going to have lunch and then take a nap and then let's go to the park". And then immediately start distracting him- ask him what is his favorite thing at the park? does he think other kids will be at the park? would he like to bring his bucket with him? and so on. Then start diverting into whatever else it is that you need to be doing.

It seems counterintuitive, I know. You are trying to get him to focus on something else. But his constant barrage of talk about it is his way to feel heard and understood. So taking a couple of minutes to really let him know you hear him will work wonders. If he talks about the park and you can't go that day, work that in. Again, do all of the 'you love the park, right' talk. And then maybe do the calendar idea. Say "I really want to take you to the park, let's look at when we can go" and then look at the calendar, and maybe even give him a tree sticker or something to put on the day when you can go. And again, divert and distract. My big point is that trying to ignore him will backfire.

As far as not wanting to leave, it's along the same lines. Give the warnings, but not in minute increments, he won't understand that. Tell him 'once you finish this game with Johnny, we are going to put the toys away and then leave'. Then at the same time that it's time to go, start the same process. "what was your favorite toy to play with today?" "what is johnny's favorite toy", "did you know we are making cookies for dessert?" you get the idea. It takes some effort and getting used to, but this really will work if you give it a try.

Good luck!

My son will be 3 soon.

1. Repeat what he says and then let him know when he can have what he wants.

I just acknowledge what he is saying like "Oh, you want to watch Sesame Street?" Then I'll say okay, we will watch Sesame Street after school. Or if he wants something I'll say "you want the horse?" Okay just a minute please.

2. Give only two parts of the daily schedule at a time.

I'll tell him a limited amount of things we will do. Saying the whole schedule for the day is too overwhelming for him. However, if I say we will pick your sister up and then go eat he understands.

3. Encourage talking, even if you have to help him with the words.

If he just keeps on crying I tell him use his words, no crying. Sometimes my son cries instead of saying whats bothering him.

4. Give a warning about what can happen if the crying doesn't stop.

If he keeps up the whining then I ask him if he wants to sit down (or whatever) or go to the corner/bed/not play. He picks calming down over time out/bedtime nearly every single time. For some kids you have to just tell them do x or y will happen.

5. Hold on and let's go, in a sing songy way, are other phrases my child now understands.

If all this doesn't work I figure my kid needs a snack and/or nap.

Sounds like you need to give him a clock and teach him what it means. Tell him that when the little hand gets to the such-and-such number, he can do "x". Tell him if he fusses, he can't do it. Put your finger to your lips and tell him to put his fingers to his lips. (It's like sitting on your hands to keep from touching something or clapping your hands.) And stick to it.

Use that SAME clock and show it to him 5 minutes before it's time to transition activities. It might be a pain to carry the clock with you to the park, but it's better than having a big fuss.

Keep reminding him of the plan for the day, and use the clock.

Good luck!
Dawn

i get that lessons need to be learned but i dont think all of the time.

My daughter was and is a fantastic listener...most times
and after ending a fun activity we ussually didnt have issues but if i knew it was somethnig she would be upset over Id have a fun way to end it

as in
we're leaving the park lets do this/ or eat this when we get home (and give her something to be excited about at home or in the car if he;s to impatient for that)
honestly she was an easy kid but still i didnt see a need to proove i was in control all of the time. i called it bribery without her knowing she was being bribed=)

.

to expland just a bit on Dawn's excellent advice - I used to tell my kids after "a,b and c then we get to do d". So when he mentions it, ask "what needs to happen first?" and let him repeat a,b and c. Also, if it is a day or so away, use a calendar. I used to tell my kids that the line means night time, so in 3 night time sleeps... we are going to Grandmas. I would take him to the calendar and have him help cross off the days with me.

As for ending enjoyable activities, even with a warning. I would usually have a treat of some sort that he knew about ahead of time. My son also knew that if he threw a fit, he just would not get that treat. He was the kind of kid that I absolutely HAD to mean what I said. If I even one time gave in, I was in for many many fights.