THat post totally hit home for me. I am 23, a full time stay at home mother of a 2b and 4g, and wife, and a full time student online about to graduate in May. Talk about stress, girls I feel your pain. The most common thing I saw in everyone's responses was find a group, or trade off with a friend. What happens if your friends aren't SAHM, and your other friends don't have kids? What happens is you go crazy at home :)! Does anyone know of groups in the Haslet/ Sendera Ranch area? Or would anyone be willing to join me in starting a group in this area, or at all for that matter?
Hopefully I'm not the only mom who feels this way, but my kids can drive me crazy. And now its started to effect my marriage. TO make a long story short I have a history that's not so good with certain "recreational things". I haven't done anything in 5 years, and recently because of all my stress and anxiety, my mood swings have dramatically increased. So you can only imagine what my husband has accused me of. I find this repulsing, I would never jepordize my life, much less my kids lives like that, however my husband doesnt seem to get that I feel like I'm trapped in a hole. When I try talking to him, his repsonse is "get out of this house, stop being a hermitt, go out with your friends" but when I try to get him to take over things at the house so I can do that, I get no cooperation. I dont know how I'm supposed to maintain any sanity that I have left, when I have no where to turn. So again, any recomendations for groups and any other stressed out moms that want to form one, let me know!!
Thanks for everyone's advice, it really helped. It's nice to know that I'm not alone. The kids are in a MDO, they have been since August, and I have decided to find one day a week to devote to me and me only, whatever my heart desires. HOpefully my stress levels will go down as soon as I graduate in may!! :)
Hi L., I understand how you feel. I am going through the same thing you are. What part of town are you at? I don't think I've heard of Haslet/ Sendera Ranch area?
There are moms groups out there. AND there is a neighborhood website as well.
GOOD LUCK
I found Mamasource when we first moved to Kansas City,MO. I asked the same questions then. I got a response from a mom who told me about meetup.com. I searched through their many groups and found a SAHM's group right by me. They did play groups and moms' night outs. I have not started looking for meetup groups since moving to Frisco. But now that we are settled I am starting to loose my sanity with these kids and this house. I think it is time for me to start looking for another group. :-D
Good Luck,
M.
With men, you have to spell things out for them very slowly! :-)
What I do is I tell/inform my husband, "I'd like to go out w/my friend such-and-such on this date and time....what does you schedule look like that night....will you be home or do you plan to work late?" if he comes back with a that date is good for me...then I say 'ok I'm going to tell my friend I'll be there.'
Then I send him an email (outlook appointment) reminder so it's on his electronic blackberry calendar that he's pulling Daddy/Son alone time that evening. and I remind him, leading up to the date, with verbal reminders.
They say women are scattered-brian, but from how crazy, stressful my husband's job is.... I don't expect to remember all my appointments/mtgs on his own.
so this strategy has worked for me - in guaranteeing that I get some "girl time" w/my friends and some time away from the kids. And he gets buddy time bonding w/my son.
Really, you have to pick a date/time and stick to it....give him advance warning and reminders; mark it on his calendar; and just go. If you had a doctor's appt or a dentist appt....you'd stick to it and go.....do the same here. You need your time away ... for sanity sake and to be a better mom and wife. Nevermind if he doesn't do everything completely "right" for one evening putting the kids to bed. Sometimes I fix my son supper early the evenings I know I'm going out just b/c I'm not sure if my husband would remember to feed my son dinner or not....so I just do it before I leave. And I don't complain how he did bedtime. I'm just happy to be out of the home for an evening.
I'm sure there must be a local MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group at a local church in your area or Saginaw, at least. I'd look it up (http://www.mops.org/). It might even be worth the drive to join a group in Ft. Worth. Most MOPS groups provide childcare while you enjoy a breakfast and a discussion time with other moms.
Also, are your kids in preschool/Mother's Day Out yet? I think the 4 yr old would love preschool! I value having that time for my son and myself! He learns so much there at preschool (not just preschool objectives, but behavior skills, social skills, confidence, independence, etc.) Preschool/MDO is a great way to get some "me time" away from the kids, too. I highly recommend finding room in the budget for this. It is worth every penney and more!
I know how you feel, im 24 and i have a 3 1/2 boy and a 17 month old boy, and my hubby sounds alot like yours, tells me to get out of the house and when i do want to go, he cant or doesnt want to watch the kids. I dont have any friends here i moved to a little town, dont have the money (nor do they have any openings) for day care for both of them, there is no mommys day out or anything else like that here or around here, more or less there really isnt to many stay at home mommys here and most of the ones that are, usually are stuck up cause they have money and if you dont well you just dont belong in that little click. Im not sure where it is that you live or if its even close to me, if it is, send me a message, maybe we could work something out. If not, then i guess i really didnt help any, but just to let ya know your not alone!!
I am thinking about starting a group since i stay at home with two out of four kids and i dont have alot of money to send them to mothers day out and mops is a little high for tight budgets. If you live in or near sherman fairview park, i am thinking of tuesdays and thursdays and then throw in some other events like that pool there, but if you dont live in this area, please try moms groups and you will find something for you i promise.
L.
Your husband is right. Tell you what...when your husband is at home, rush out the door in a hurry...He will be forved to keep the kids.
GET OUTTA THE HOUSE!!!!
try looking up MOPS or Moms International online and see if one of those has a group in your area. or try momsclub.org or moms.meetup.com or you can even try yahoo or msn or google groups. you might even try myspace to find a group. or if you can't find a group you like, start your own! good luck!
I feel the same way! I live in Saginaw....lets talk!!!!!! ;o)
Eliyah
