I'm Acting like a 5Th Grader ?

why don't you just play with the friends you want to? don't worry about her, unless you are feeling guilty about it, maybe you should talk to her and let her know that you are uncomfortable with her, sounds like she is very lonely, and that is sad, maybe you should not attend some functions for awhile, I know that isn't fair either, but I have learned the hard way that life isn't fair no matter what you do...AND, if she is forcing her way in, there just might be some peeps that are letting her, giving her a chance, we all have choices, if it were me, I wouldn't let her bug me and would hang out with the peeps I want to and if she barges n there and you don't like it, then stay away, find a "new" circle...personally I don't like "circles" in my book they are clicks and can tear people down ...just be glad you have friends, many don't...

Well theres not much you can do if your friends welcome her to their parties/functions, and if they want to spend time with her. What if your friends really enjoy her company? This woman may become a permenant part of your circle of friends.
Honestly I would just attend the functions and stuff like you always do, treasure that time with the inviduals there that you are connected with, and keep yourself distant but cordial to the woman your annoyed with.
If your friends ask you about it, then be honest..just say what you have basically said here...."I don't want to talk about people or badmouth her but we aren't close any longer."
I know it's annoying, I've been there, but why let this woman stop you from enjoying your time with your friends. If she really is that bad of a friend...all you can do is hope your friends see that and decide for themselves.
Best of Luck.

How does her difference in "values and priorities" effect your life? How does her being at the same social functions make you have a less than fun time? Are you actually giving up your power to her? Do you have a difficult time creating boundaries, saying no, or communicating openly, clearly, and directly for fear of "hurting someones feelings" or "not having someone like you"?

When you ask the question "Why is she doing this?", what is the answer you automatically have in your head? Do you believe she is doing this to you on purpose? Do you believe that she is trying to steal your friends away? Do you have the judgment that she shouldn't be doing this? Do you have any way to know this is really true? One of the dangers of the stories we tell ourselves in our heads is that usually they are not even true. This means that we walk around feeling a particular way based on a made up story.

She can only make you uncomfortable to the extent that you allow her to. I know this sounds like a pat answer and yet, it is true. We often believe that any discomfort we feel is due to how another person behaves. Actually we feel uncomfortable because of a belief we have about their behavior. Usually that belief says they "shouldn't" be behaving that way. Well, wether they should or shouldn't, they are. Now what choices do you have? You can speak to her, you can let it go, you can choose to not attend, you could choose to understand why she is really behaving the way she is (maybe she is really lonely or afraid), you can look at yourself and find what is inside of you that is getting triggered by her.

No matter what her behavior is, you are the one that gets to decide what your response will be. This is what maturity is all about. We stop blaming others and the events around us and take 100% responsibility for our own emotions and behaviors. We learn to evaluate what we are believing, how we are judging (saying they should/shouldn't be that way), and choose differently. Clearly trying to change her or even the circumstances isn't going to work. Not fair? Yes. And you get to choose whether you will let other people keep you imprisoned or whether you will step up and be empowered by making choices for yourself regardless of how others behave.

I disagree with what some have said about not going to functions where she will be and telling your friends not to invite you if she has been invited. I've been the friend in the middle for years now of a similar dissolvement of friendship and it's not fair to me. Every time I have a birthday and want to invite my friends, I have to choose which one I want to invite. And you know who I choose? The person who never asked me to make the choice. If you start distancing yourself from friends because they invite this other person, your friends may just start ignoring you because you don't join when you are invited. You can mention to your friends that you've had a falling out with this person, but don't give them an ultimatum about who they can invite to their own events and homes. You can't control that. If you ARE both invited to the same event, you can choose to decline, or go and decide to have a good time and be civil. Nothing says you have to sit with her and laugh and joke and act like you are best friends. But it's not your choice who your friends spend time with. If she's doing this in an effort to get close to you again, she'll soon figure out that it's not working and she'll stop, or she'll confront you and you can tell her you have no desire to be in that position again. And don't let her invite herself to YOUR functions. Perhaps if she's finding these things on your Facebook, you should keep those things to messages rather than comments, so she can't see them. At least with a time and place...."See you this afternoon!" or "Looking forward to our lunch" is quite different than "hey, shall we get a group together to go see that new movie with (insert actor here)" or "I'm celebrating my birthday at the chinese restaurant on 5th at 7:00 if you want to come." She will see the latter comments and think it's open to anyone. She does sound lonely as someone else says and it's probably her own fault. But if she makes a nuisance of herself with your friends, they'll stop letting her invite herself. In the mean time, don't alienate them by making them choose between you. You could casually mention that you noticed they've been inviting so-and-so and that if they are doing so because she is your friend, they need not feel obligated because you aren't so close anymore. But I would avoid telling them not to invite you if they've invited her. It makes you look bad and it puts them in the middle of your fight which isn't fair. Just my 2 cents.

You have your circle of friends and your friends have their own circles.
It sounds like your friends circles are a bit wider than yours and include more people.
I don't think she's consciously 'doing' this to you.
That would make her sound like she's got a stalker mentality and it makes you sound a bit paranoid.
Your friends other friends are not about you.
This might be a good time to widen your own circle and find new/different people so you can become part of a whole new group.
There's nothing that says you have to belong to just one group of people.
It's good to widen your horizons.

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Not 5th grade but it sounds pretty HIGH SCHOOL.....How does she manage to "invite herself"? If she isn't wanted the host or hostess should simply decline. If you enjoy some of these events, don't her presence stop you. If she tries to renew your friendship and make dates, just be honest and decline the unwanted invites.

Blessings....

You should tell your friends that the relationship has dissolved between you and this other woman and to not invite you when she has been invited and you would rather make lunch plans or other plans. Tell your friends that this is your problem, not thiers and that you wish them the best and all that jazz ... but you do not want to be around this other person ... they should respect it.

I completely understand how you are feeling. I had a similar experience a few years back with a friend that just kind of eroded. We never had a big falling out and there was never really that straw that broke the camel's back, but I just knew it in my heart that she wasn't a completely loyal friend to me and I didn't respect some of the decisions that she had been making. I wouldn't have mind it if she had went her way and I had gone mine but that didn't seem to be happening. Just about the time that our friendship was cooling off, she was starting to hang out with my friends. She was basically friendship poaching. Ugh! It was the most uncomfortable situation ever. Unfortunately, I never did figure out how to put a graceful stop to that. She eventually moved but I had a long and tortutous year of having to put on a happy face and be civil to her while watching her trying to scoop up my friends.

Sorry you are having to go through this. I'll be interested in hearing what advise you receive from the others. Hopefully I'll never have to go through this again but it would be good to know what to do just in case it does.

Yes, you are being childish! "why can't she just back off and hang with her own friends?" Does she even have other friends? Does she have other friends that she can rely on that will help her improve herself and lift her up, or will they drag her down further into her poor "values and priorities?" Did you ever think that maybe she wants to be your friend because she really needs you and looks up to you? She probably understands that her life is screwed up and she wants to change, but it is really hard and she needs support, not condemnation and abandonment. Sorry, it just sounds to me like you are in the wrong here. Oh, and maybe your freinds acctually like her and want to have her at their social functions! It is not your place to decide who will or will not be invited to someone else's event.

She's probably just lonely. Give her a break and let it go.