I Think It Is Over

Since you're writing this with a tone of uncertainty, let me just suggest that you be really sure before you divorce. My first marriage didn't work out, so I know that there are some circumstances that can't be worked out. However, your situation sounds like a communication and expectations issue. It sounds like your hubby has tried doing what you want, but that you're not really clear on what you need from him. Have you sat down to discuss what you two really want and expect from your daily life - now & in the future? I can't overstate how important it is to have shared goals and dreams, because then you can work toward them as a team. I've also experienced that when I look for ways to show my husband that I love & appreciate him, he tends to do the same by doing things for me. Just some thoughts - good luck with whatever you choose!

My advise to you is to first step back and figure out why it is you married your husband what was it that first sparked. Then I think that you need to have a night where you put the kido to bed early and sit down and for the first night listen to what your husband wants. Then a week later do the same thing but this time have him listen to you. The next week talk about what compromises you can come up with to make things work. My husband and I had a rough time about a year ago. Somethings that have worked for us are we do the laundry together. I start it when I get home, he switches it over then when the load is ready to come out both of us stop what we are doing and fold it together. We have a notepad on the fridge for things that we need to get. We are not aloud to write jut milk it had to be something like "Honney we need milk can you please pick some up on the way home." It helps us both feel like the other is not barcking orders. Third and the most important thing to us is once a week we have date night. We never go out for this most of the time it is on mondays. We each put our phones and things aside and do something together. We are big Heros fans so we sit and watch our favirote show and cuddle up. I guess what I am trying to say is it dose not take much to fix small problems you just have to find a starting point at which you want to attack it at and start fixing.

Hope that everything works out for the best. Sorry about some of the spelling it is not my strong suit. All of the advise that I have listed is all things that other moms on this site told me to do when I was having troubles.

I raised three young children by myself. They are adults now. I was in a "loveless" relationship and I absolutely know I did the right thing when I asked him to leave the house. He was very physical with two of my children, so it was a matter of safety for them too.

My biggest regret was not making time for myself and not going to counseling to receive support and guidance. I had no friends or family within a close distance.

Whatever you decide to do, counseling would also help with communication issues between the two of you. Maybe you need a break from each other. We lived apart for several years before I filed for a divorce. Sometimes distance will give you a better perspective too. If you are miserable every day, then you need to do something -- either with or without him.

Believe in yourself. Sometimes that is all you have!

I have raised three kids by myself - been divorced twice. They were both abusive alcohlics. My kids missed out on having a dad around, and I missed having someone to love. Ask yourself if there is anything you will miss about him when he is gone. Tell him what you do love about him. There is a new movie called 'Fireproof' about marriage. Counseling may be an option.

Yes you are worthy of being loved. Whatever you decide to do, don't forget that.

God Bless You!

D., I'm so sorry. When we met, you never really talked about your husband. My husband and I fight all the time too, mostly because we are more stressed out now because we have 2 small kids, but we are going to be okay. I'm sorry you feel like it's over. My husband has told me he thinks "nothing he does is good enough" and stuff like that too. I think sometimes we have high expectations as wives and moms. We definitely need to remember to praise our husbands for the good things they do - being a good dad, helping around the house, etc. They thrive on being appreciated. But if you feel it's too late, and he's just not invested in your relationship anymore, then you know best. All you can do is try to make it as easy as possible for Mikey. Try to keep things consistent in his life. I'm sorry I haven't been able to get together lately. I spent a few days in the hospital and now I have to have surgery next week. I'll contact you after I recover and maybe we can get together again. Good luck with everything!! B.

I agree with what Tricia said .Your situation sounds like a communication and expectations issue. sit down to discuss what you two really want and expect from your daily life - thats the key in a relationship. my husband and I argue a lot but at the end we say sorry to each other. For sure men dont think like women do and our expectations are way far from theirs. I've also experienced that when I look for ways to show my husband that I love & appreciate him, he tends to do the same by doing things for me. Just some thoughts - good luck with whatever you choose and make sure Mikey is not affected with all this. He needs a dad as much as he needs you.