Ok, here goes. I am an unwed mother of a 2 year old daughter. Her father lives with me. He is basically a nightmare. In the beginning, he was great. However, over the last couple of years he has lied, stole things from me, threatened me, verbally abusive, cheated, damaged my house and property, doesn't have a job, doesn't pay rent or financially contribute, has strange people in my house late at night, does drugs, and I am sure i missed a few other things as well. One problem, I am broke. I have supported him and my daughter for years now and I cannot afford a lawyer at this time. He will not leave either. The real issue is that the girl that he is seeing on the side happens to be the Attorney General's daughter (of the state that we live in). So whenever I tell him he needs to leave and move out, he threatens me that he knows the Attorney General and will use that leverage in court for custody of my daughter. The fear of losing my daughter keeps him there and he knows it. My daughter is my world, and I have been doing everything I can to keep her safe and close to me. Even if it means living a nightmare. To top everything off, he is not even a good father. He is neglectful in every sense of the word. Any advise would be appreciated.
Just to clarify, his bad behavior started a few months after she was born. Before that, he was good. There is no possibility of conceiving another child.
I appreciate everyone’s advise. Thank you.
You need to talk to a womens shelter.
They can get you some legal advice, make an escape plan and then escape with your child.
Make sure your birth control is up to date so you don't have more kids with him.
I can't give you any legal advice but I don't know why you just don't leave and go stay with family or a friend while you figure this out. Don't you have anyone in your life who cares about you?
If not that is extremely sad and I am sorry. You should contact a battered women's shelter for practical and legal advice and emotional support.
Start keeping records of what you've paid for living expenses for you and your daughter and her father. Document rent, medical insurance, utilities, whatever you pay for.
Then document physical damages, both to you and to your property. If you ever went to the doctor with a bruise from him, get that record. If you ever photographed a bruise, get that. If he broke a door or tv, punched a hole in a wall, document that.
Just write this stuff down on paper.
Can you call the police next time he has drugs in your house around your little girl?
The Attorney General, although he may get a lawyer for his daughter if she ever needed one, will not step in and defend an unmarried drug-using verbally and physically abusive boyfriend of his daughter.
You don't have to stay. Listen to the advice of the wise moms here and make your plan to get out safely with your daughter. The AG is not going to be an issue in this.
Your daughter is two years old. The man you had her with has been doing awful things "over the last couple of years". So - you chose to have a child with him while he was acting this horrible way?
Do not have more children with him now. Move out as quickly as you can.
