I Need Help Discipling My 4 Year Old

The only advice I have is to make sure you give her possitive feed back, more then negative. She is trying to get attention and if you give her the wrong kind she will think that is the one she wants. So if she does something naughty then give her time out but don't make a big deal out of it, if she helps with her baby sister praise her and tell her what a big girl she is and how happy that makes mommy. When she calls you stupid try telling her that it hurts your feelings and makes you sad, and see if that helps.
I hope this helps you, good luck I have a five year old and a 19 month old and a 4 month old...but they are boys

It sounds like your 4 yr old is feeling like she is left out because of the new baby. Try to give the 4 yr old some alone time with just mom before you eat lunch together. Maybe she will not feel left out try this first J. A

I had this same problem with my daughter. It's because of the new baby. She is 'punishing' you for the new baby being there. My daughter would say the most hurtful things to me and all the spankings and timeouts in the world did not help. I let her vent to an extent and then I would tell her I needed a break from her and she was not to come near me for a set time frame. This would upset her but I think she started to see that she was upsetting me. I would tell her that I know she is very upset and I understand but she is not allowed to act this way. It didn't change over night. We went through this for a long time. I wish there was an easy answer but I think they feel like they are being cast aside for the new baby. I would always make time for her and do things just with her but she would still act out. I think it was just something that she needed to work through herself and at her own pace. Hang in there, it will eventually get better. Good luck.

Have you tried taking her arms when she hits, holding them down at her sides, and telling her that "we aren't allowed to hit"? Or when she says ugly things, remind her that "we don't talk that way"? When my son did stuff tlike that, I would tell him that I want to spend time with him, but I won't be around when he's acting/talking ugly. Then I would tell him that he needed to go to his room until he could calm down. I would also use a packet of medium sauce from taco bell and put a few drops on his tongue for the "ugly words". You could also try small cleaning tasks, like wiping the walls at her level, with just a spray bottle of water and a rag. For some reason, the monotonous task, combined with the lack of personal attention seemed to get thru to him. When he had calmed down, you could tell, and he would say he was sorry, and we would spend another 5 minutes playing. At meal times, anytime he "got ugly", either by getting mouthy, hitting, or throwing things, he would have to go to bed immediately, and he was done with lunch. That's what worked for me, hope it helps.

Sounds to me like she is craving attention. Not that your not giving it to her but a new sibling is a huge adjustment for everyone. It is so much for a little kid to deal with, so many emotions they don't know how to deal with. What I did when I had a new baby (my son was 3 when that happened) I made one on one time for just me and my oldest. At least one hour a day we would go off and do something by ourselves. It really helped with his fear of not getting my attention. I know it can be hard to find the time but you'll never be sorry for it. Good luck & congradulations on your new little one:)

I would say continue to use time-out and be consistent. It seems like it won't end, but if you stay the course....it will work! Also, when she's in time out limit your conversations to her to just directions...and once you feel she's ready to get out ask her to do something for you, whether it's to go and throw something away in the trash, or pick up a toy, or say she's sorry and hug you....to establish the "pecking order" It's just a big adjustment for her and she's testing her limits. Make sure to set them! You can do it!

Its that regression everyone talks about when a new baby comes home. Its a hard transition for everyone, especially a 4 yr old. My oldest was 5 when I brought a new baby home, and he just seemed to be crazy at times, but with a great deal of patiences and constant consistancy, he got thru it. Its a big change and its a lot for everyone to go thru, but its worth it. Good Luck and Congratulations!!