My Son Is Calling the Daycare Provider Mommy.

Updated on September 21, 2006
C. asks from Aurora, IL
21 answers

My husband heard my son call the daycare provider Mommy yesterday. He asked her if my son did this often and she said yes. She was not concerned but my husband is. I am not sure how to feel. My son is 2 1/2. I don't think I should worry but it does kick the guilty feelings up a notch. Has this happened to anyone else? What did you do?

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A.G.

answers from Chicago on

My son did that too around the same age. It definately plays on the guilt of the working mom doesn't it? I felt kind of sad when that happened, but the I realized it was a good thing in a way...he trusted his daycare provider so much he thought of her like "mommY"...This way I knew he was receiving the best possible care.

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K.

answers from Chicago on

It happens to stay at home moms too! My daughter went through a stage when she would call all of her friend's moms mommy too. Even when I was there! My daughter would want the "new" person to give her attention, help her etc... So not only would she call them mom but she wanted them to help her not me!

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with the responses so far! She should gently tell him her name when he slips. If you make a big deal about it, he will get embarrassed and won't understand.
If he truly can't pronounce her name, ask her if you all can come up with a nick-name for her... it might help.

-Amanda

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S.B.

answers from Chicago on

C.-

I am a daycare home provider for 16 years. In my experience, many children have called me mommy. It is very normal. The child is recognizing her as a loving, nurturing person that is caring for him on a daily basis. With my young daycare children, i will work with them each day, non chalantly and tell them my name, when they use "mommy". It is very important to me, to talk to my parents, that I am a professional childcare provider and I will never replace their parents. That together, we can be the best we can be, for your children. Please, discuss with your provider your concerns. If you have a very loving, professional provider, she will reassure you and work with you to be the best she can be. No concern is stupid.. All is valid, if it is valid to you. I hope this helps, and good luck.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

C.,

Please dont you or your spouse be upset, this is a very normal thing that happens. All 3 of my children called their "in-home" sitter mom. My nieces and newphews have all done the same thing. My one sister watched all 3 of mine and many other of the nieces and nephews, they would call my sister mom.
I just think that they are around your sitter and that she is a mom figure they just spit it out. Really and truly it is nothing to be upset about. your child knows that you are their mommy, no one can or ever will be.

My children are 22, 17 & 15 I am their mom and dad, they tell me this all the time. Just take a deep breath when you or your spouse hear this. When either of you walk into the door they run to you not the sitter.

J.
www.noahsarkworkshop.com/jodigilbert18

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T.H.

answers from Chicago on

That's actually a good thing. That means he associates love and support with the provider and is comfortable with her. My son who's two sees any picture of a woman with brown hair and says Mommy. I think they just refer to it as a warm, loving, comforting caretaker. No worries.

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K.W.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, C.

This is K.. I work at a daycare and I recieved a student from the 3 year old room.. She had been calling one of the baby room teacher mommy for almost 3 years (parents did not know, because she always left before the parents picked the children up). Once she got in my room, I told her that, the lady was her teacher, not mommy. Yes, children do know their own mother, but its also a form of respect. As a teacher, she should put a stop to it. Your husband has every right to be concerned. YOU are his MOMMY, and his teacher is just that his TEACHER. I would ask the teacher to reinforced him calling her MRS. ? and if she won't I would speak to the director or owner. She need help and guidance to learn the right things and contining to let him call her mommy isn't right. Take control of the situation soon, because it will only get worst. Trust me I went through it, now my student recongizes the teacher only as a teacher. And don't fee guilty. You are doing whats best for you son, you must provide for him. Send a picture of your family and have the teacher show it to him daily... Good Luck

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L.

answers from Chicago on

My son is 2 and is in an daycare facility and he also spends time in an in home daycare as well. I am not aware of him doing this, but I do know that he calls my mom and my mother in law Mommy. I just continue to correct him.

I would be curious as the response from your daycare provider if she or he corrects him or just goes along with it. I wouldn't be concerned, but would find out the providers response.

Good luck

L.

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M.W.

answers from Chicago on

I actually arrived at daycare to pick up my daughter just in time to hear her call the provider's husband da da. The provider thought nothing of it but I was totally upset and felt that she should have corrected her and told her to call him "Mr. Johnson." After all, my daughter could say the provider's name and the name of the assistant. Anyway, I've been home with her for 2 years now running a successful home based business that does not require me to sell, inventory or deliver products. This affords me quality time with our daughter who's now 4 years old and clearly knows who daddy is!

~M.

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A.L.

answers from Chicago on

It is absolutley normal for all kids to do this. My daughter did this, and she also calls her father by his first name because she hears me do it.

Don't make a big deal out of it, but ask your provider if she hears him do it, just to tell him to use her name say something to the effect "My name is... or I am ....)

This worked for my daughter and in a couple of weeks she no longer did it.

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K.

answers from Chicago on

Yes this does kick up the guilt a lil, but it need not. My daughter was in daycare and she also started to call the daycare lady mom. It bothered me at first, but its just something they go thru. She is now 7.5 and still occasionally calls someone mom or calls me someone elses name..Why?? because her mind is racing, she is deep in thought on what she wants to say and it just comes out. Kinda like me calling you cindy, when i know your name is C., just a slip. I also am very active with volunteer activities and you wouldnt beleive the kids of ALL ages that call me mom at times and then catch themselves. Only you and your husband know what it takes for your family to succeed/pay bills/live in harmony..Do not let this riddle you with guilt. It will pass..K...www.arkparties.com

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

C.,
I'm a home daycare provider and have done this for 12 years.
Kids get use to being with us 10 hours a day.
The little ones at first call me mom (as my 13 yr old does)
but they definetly know mommy and daddy are the one's who drop them off and pick them up.
Rest assure this will fade, they will soon start calling her by her name,be happy that your son likes his provider enough to feel comfotable to call her that. You could also help by making a big deal out of it when you drop him off by saying,
have a good day at Miss so and so's house. Or ask at the end of the day did he have fun at so and so's house today.
Trust me it happened with my older one's 24,27,and 30, I'm lucky to be able to do home childcare and be at home for my 13 yr old. You should worry if you see he isn't happy to be left there.
C. (home childcare provider who gets called mom alot)

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S.B.

answers from Chicago on

You know, when I had my first daughter in daycare when I worked, she did this to for a while, but she was younger. It did bother me, and Michelle, who is now my best friend and became that right away after she started watching Lexie just said no Michelle! She did stop doing it. My work hours were very early. I worked from 6am to 215 pm, so alot of her time with her was sleeping time too, so that helped me, and I was off early and with her alot, but I know that it is upsetting. I think you should talk to the babysitter and ask her if she could just say no, I am so and so and your mommy will be coming to get you soon or something like that. I hope this helps you out.

S. Bailey CLD
Aurora
www.tendermomentsdoula.com

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B.B.

answers from Chicago on

I am an at home daycare provider. My name is B. and some kids can't say the B sound but can say mommy so that is often what somes out. I correct them. It is not a big deal becasue they know who mommy is and they know I love them no matter what. My daugther called one day care provider Nina instead of Linda and she LOVED it. To this day when we see her she is Nina.
Hope this helps.
GOT TOTS INC.
www.gottotsinc.com

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J.H.

answers from Chicago on

C.-

My son did the same thing- At first I was really sad and thought I was replaced by the daycare lady! It seemed like the more I got upset about it the more it happened- He has no idea what he is saying- He knows mommy is at home! Believe me!!! My daycare provider corrected my son when he said it and eventually he stopped- Just don't make a big deal out of it to him otherwise he will continue for the attention-

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D.S.

answers from Chicago on

My 3-1/2 year old son has called other people Mommy and Daddy many times, and I am a stay-at-home, work-from-home mom. It really isn't a big deal. Just understand that from a small child's perspective, the person that cares for them, plays with them, etc. fits the role of 'mommy' and 'daddy'. They don't understand the biology and family structures fully at this age. My husband and I simply correct my son if he accidentally calls someone else Mommy or Daddy, and he has learned that he has just one mommy and one daddy. Really, there's no need for concern. Consider it a reassurance that your son is being cared for properly and enjoys the time he spends in daycare.

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V.K.

answers from Chicago on

I guess it's a normal thing for a 2 yr. old, but don't think that I would want it encouraged as I'm the mom not the daycare provider..... Now my son calls my husband Bob and he doesn't like it as he is dad and I've recently had to stop calling him Bob and call him dad so that my son would call him dad..... Hope this helps
V. K.

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Y.

answers from Chicago on

I am a SAHM now but when my oldest was little I worked full time. The daycare provider I used had the kids call her Mama Linn. She said that since there are times that she was with them more than I could be it was almost like having a second mom. She knew that a lot of kids called their sitter mom and this way she taught them the difference subtly. This also made me feel better since she may be Mama Linn but I was always mom or mommy. This may not appeal to everyone but it sure made me feel better about it.

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A.

answers from Chicago on

I am a daycare provider and this happens quite often. The daycare children will hear my own children call me mommy. I do try my best to correct this. It does eventually phase out. Your child knows who is Mommy is...don't worry too much.

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D.W.

answers from Chicago on

C.,
Being a daycre provider, this happens often. At first it was just as uncomfortable for me as the parent. Then you realize the child feels safe. By safe I mean you as a mom give everything to your child for comfort and your day care provider must make your child feel the same way. Your child relates that feeling as Mommy! Be happy, not sad.

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

At his age, the term mommy just means a woman who is nice and takes care of him. I wouldn't make that big a deal out of it otherwise he might feel tension and think that there's something wrong with what he's doing. The most I would do is reinforce the daycare providers name, and ask her to do the same. Even when I used to go to see my son at lunch, some of the kids would call ME mommy just because I was in there playing.. They KNOW who their mom is... trust me. =)

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