I Lost My 28 Year Old Husband:(

Your post made my heart stop. I am numb for you.

There are no magical words that will lessen the pain, the grief, the overwhelming loneliness that will surface at times, the frustrations of being a single mom, the hopes and dreams that are gone with your husband's life.

I hope that you will find the courage and the strength to find a grief support group. Church's have them most often. You'll probably be one of the youngest widows there.

Please always remember to take care of yourself. Take care of your babies first. With time your life will take on a new rhythm. A different rhythm. And even with time your heart will be open to another relationship. But don't do that too soon. You need time to completely grieve.

Keeping you in my prayers....

Please.... find a "grief support" group.
My Mom attended one when my Dad died.
Even if it was 11 years ago, she still goes sometimes.

She made many good friends there.
It was a life saver.

I am so sorry....
Grief, takes time.
Allow yourself to feel and to grieve.

My heart goes out to you. I lost my SO almost 25 years ago, our daughter was born a few months after he died. The first year will be the most difficult; your grief combined with pregnancy and post partum hormones will sometimes be overwhelming. It's perfectly okay to feel sad and to cry. I know it's hard but the best thing you can do for yourself and your children is to keep busy. After the baby is born and you are feeling stronger again find yourself a part-time job. Getting out of the house and having to get dressed up and be around people will let you focus on something other than your greif.
The greif will ease as time passes but it never really goes away. The two days of the year I still find to be the most difficult are his birthday and the day he passed.
Find joy in your children they are the legacy of the love you shared with him.
Good luck and if you need me I'm here.

I am so sorry for your loss!! ((((HUGS)))

My mom was 21 years old and 5 months pregnant with me when my father passed away. He was 23 and was shot and killed working for the FBI. I know my mom struggled a lot with a lot of things, emotions, pregnancy, spiritual stuff, etc. She was strong and got through it. She got remarried to my "dad" and he raised me. It takes time to heal from something like this and unfortunately (or fortunately, I'm not sure which) we have to go through it. You can't skip or ignore the grieving process and everyone handles it differently. You will make it!!!! Rest, relax and let you family help you!! Spend time with your kids and take all the time you need to heal and grieve. Allow yourself as much time as you need. Ignore anyone who tries to rush you or makes comments about it. You'll move on in time and no one needs to make you feel like you're not moving on or grieving quickly enough. I wish I could say something that would take away the pain. Please know that I'm praying for you and your precious children. May the Lord bless you richly!!

I am so sorry. I can't imagine how hard that must be. I will be praying for you and your family.

i am so so sorry for your loss! i have not lost a spouse, but i have a friend that lost her husband to cancer about 2.5 years ago - they were both 27/28 at the time. i have a male friend that lost his pregnant wife(the baby passed as well) many years ago when he was in his early 20s. both still absolutely miss their deceased partner, and both have remarried in the years since their losses and seem content with their new, though unplanned, lives. again, i am so sorry for the loss of your husband and children's father. words seem so inadequate right now, be sure to take care of yourself.

I am so sorry for your loss. I dont think its a bad idea for a support group and some counselling. Shoot, let me know if you ever want to talk. My heart goes out to you. Remember, even though it feels like you are alone, you have a ton of people that care about you, even myself and I dont even know you. Take care babe, I will be praying for you.

Please let me know if you need anything, baby clothes, or anything let me know!

My sis in law lost her husband two years ago and she was 24 with two kids. It was really hard, it always is. She just decided to continue to live her live the way they had planned and do what she could to enjoy what she still had.

Lean on your family and friends, that is what they are there for. You cannot do this alone and you should not even try.

You will never completely move on from him and that is a good thing. He is still a major part of your life and trying to change that just hurt you more.

Take it one day at a time, hug your kids, cry when you need to and laugh when you want to because you will get through this and your life will be richer for his part in it.

So sorry for your pain and loss <3

I got goose pimples for you. My ogd what heart break for you and your family.

I would get into a grief support group asap. I would also go see a personal counselor. This way you can process the grief in a manor that is healthy. Having the support of family, friends and a mental staff will make things go smoothly.

I want to give you my heart felt condolences. I would not know where to start if I ever lost my partner.

Dont be ashamed to ask for help, whether it be a shoulder to cry on or someone to yell at. You have no idea how badly people want to help you through this. You will find people will be willing to do anything for ya!!! Take them up on it!

My heart breaks for you and your children. You have a tough time ahead of you, but you are not alone. It sounds like you have a good support system with your family. I agree that you should seek out a support group in your area for young women grieving a loss and/or seek counseling for yourself. You won't regret it. Family and friends are great to lean on, but you need to have people to talk to or to listen to you, that know what you are going through. I have not lost a spouse, but I did lose my father at a very young age (I was 16). It is very important to let yourself grieve in your own way and in your own time. I'll tell you that the pain of losing your husband probably won't go away, but it will get easier, and you will move on. Keep his memory alive for your children, but don't be afraid to live your life, too! It will be hard, but you will get through it. Please don't hesitate to come to us here on mamapedia while you heal. I hope that you can find peace knowing that your husband has gone on to a better place, but that he will always live on in your heart.

Oh sweetie...my eyes are filled with tears for you. I hope you can continue to lean on your family and speak with someone (professional). This must be a lot to take in. Please do seek out help, there is abosultely nothing better than to get help.

I have not gone through this...I'm so sorry! If you ever just need someone to write with please PM me...I will always respond and listen...

Make sure to rest and look forward to seeing a little bit of your husband reflected in your new baby. What a tough situation, I have only lost my dad who was 83 and a college buddy when he was 22, but that is nothing like the situation you find yourself in. I am certain life will go on, and there will even be joy in your future again. Just don't feel guilty when you do feel better, and stay well to take care of your children. ((((((hugs))))))

No I haven't and I know you wanted to hear from others who are down the same road as you but I just wanted to write to you and say "im very truly sorry for your loss". I cannot even imagine what you are going through and what you are going to have to go through but just remember it wasn't really his choice to leave you. ;()(
I strongly believe that when it is your time and your purpose in life has been served then its your time to go-no getting around it. However, he may not be here physically anymore but spirtually he can be there for you and your children. I'm so very sorry and it doesn't seem fair at all and I may not have lost my own husband but I have lost very dear loved ones close to me and recently found out my Grandmother has lung cancer so I know the feeling of loss and nothing can really replace that-especially a husband-your best friend, your love, your children's father but know that in time it will get better-I didn't say easier but better. Keep his memory alive with those kiddo's I know he is looking above you and knows you will be okay. If you can try to find a support group in your area it might help you out tremendously and then there is always us ladies on here ;()) We have some really great ladies on here and I love em all ;())

My heart and prayers go out to you. You get through this with lots of help from family, friends, trained professionals, being honest with yourself and others about how you are feeling and about your limitations. You remember the great things about him but keep the memory of him more real by also cherishing the things about him that weren't so perfect. Your children will want to know what kind of man he was and that isn't just about the good stuff. You are very young and your life isn't over even though you have this huge loss in it.

My prayers go out to you and your family. Take things one day at a time for now but sooner than later you will need to begin to plan out a future for you and your children. Get all the help you need along the way, laugh often, and cry when you need too.

No, I haven't. I'm sorry for your loss. Good Luck to you and your children. It's a great that you are reaching out to try and find people to relate to and looking for ways to cope. Try to find a professional grief counselor and a grief support group.

Oh honey, I am soo sorry for your loss. I haven't had to deal with this but I just wanted to send you my condolensces. I have lost someone who I was extremely close to, not the same I know but please allow yourself some time to grieve. Your husband now flies with the angels and is currently watching you and his babies. May God give you the comfort you need at this time.

Sorry for your loss. XX

Lean on your family. Get grief counseling. Find support. I'm so sorry you lost your husband. Hug your babies (especially the new one when its born) and just get through each day. My uncle also died very suddenly when he was 40 and my aunt said the hardest time was right after everyone stopped dropping by. I think it's good you're with your folks for this time. You don't need to think about forever right now. And if you do fall in love again, your DH will never be replaced or forgotten. Hearts are really big places. Hang in there.

You did good by moving back with your family, they'll help you and support you and make you feel you are not alone. Their presence will help your oldest by just being around and will fill in the gaps you will be forced to leave while grieving and finding your way through the pain.Your husband will live on in your memory and through your children.He'll be your angel and he'll help you cope, you already feel that. You are young and some day you may feel ready to move on, even though it feels impossible right now. And it will never feel like you "forgot" your dear husband as he'll help you along, I am sure, whatever you'll choose to do years from now. For the time being, accept all the help you can get and focus on the wonderful children your love for him produced. Eternity through our children is the only godly prerogative we were given, so you are right: your husband is still with you. Much strenght to you.

OMG...! I am so sorry for your loss...Hugs and Prayers being sent your way. I sure hope God will comfort you and that your family continues to help support you during this difficult time.

Just take things one day at a time right now. Be glad that you are with your family so you are not alone. Lean on your family and his family to get through this time.

As you say he is watching you from above and always remember that. Do talk to him as you did in the past. Start a journal and put down your thoughts to help you move forward. Perhaps when your children get older you can let them read some of it. Gather pictures and put them in a book for you and your children to look at. If you have any video with him on it add that to your memorial corner so that they can see what daddy looked like.

About the two to three month mark when you are by yourself you will feel the real weight of your loss when all the visitors stop coming by. But then with the new baby you might not have this meltdown until later after your hormones settle back down.

Your time to grieve and the length of time are unknown. You may go days, weeks or months without crying and one day you may cry most of the day or for no reason. Just know that this is normal. Don't let anyone tell you you have to be done by x time because it is different for all people.

I have not lost my spouse but close to it three times in the last three years. But I have lost both of my parents at younger ages and it would still be similar.

My heart goes out to you and your little ones.

The other S.

PS This too shall pass but that it a journey further down the road. Until then just enjoy smelling the roses and walking in the grass.

I haven't lost my husband. But my nephew whom I loved like my own son was also killed tragically when he was 28 leaving behind two beautiful children. Two of my close friends have lost their spouses. We are going to the memorial service for one of them this week.
It will take a very long time for the grief to go away and you will experience anger, despair, depression and so on. I highly recommend grief counseling for you and possibly play therapy for your toddler.
Having friends and family pray also helped us.
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you find some joy when your new baby arrives.
Good luck and God bless.

A.,
I am very sorry, very sorry about your husband. It breaks my heart, honestly. I know is not the same, but I lost my mom last December.
It is painful and it's not easy to accept what has happened. Cry, do not let your pain stay inside, you have to let it go, give yourself permission to cry and being sad, you need it. I learned that all this is a process, then when you are ready you will embrace the time of memories, the pain, the anger and frustration will not disappear immediately but will transform onto a more bearable feeling. I learned that every person needs a different time to live his/her grieving and pain, but I promise it will be a day when you accept this reality Your love for him and his love for you will give you the strength you need. Take one day at a time and keep yourself close to his family as possible as you can.Pray.
Hugs for you and your little ones

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I have an acquaintence and every time I see her she reminds me how her son drowned trying to save his wife's dog in a river. It was like a freak thing.
At first, the poor woman was so broken she couldn't even function, understandably so. More tragic was that the daughter in law was pregnant at the time.
The baby was born beautiful, healthy, and looking just like her daddy. She has renewed faith in life in the family. He lives on in his little girl.
It's hard to think of it that way when wounds are so fresh and feelings are so raw, but your babies need you to take care of yourself. Be sure that you take advantage of all opportunities for help from your family, for grief counseling, etc.
You will always love your husband. You don't have to let go of that. You don't have to worry about moving on or any of that stuff right now. You just need to take care of yourself and your kids and know that you can be strong.
Some days will be harder than others and that's okay.
Make sure you have an excellent support system in place. Reach out for help.

I'll keep you all in my thoughts.

My father died whan I was six and my mother was 28. He died of lungs cancer after 3 year sufering, so I was less then 3 and my mother younger then 25 when hey learned that he is fatally ill. She never get thorough i and concenrated only on ringing up me, workd 12 hours a day to get me everything, ended up not only without husband for whole life, but without riends. DO NOT REPEAT HER. Though your loss is terrible, you are lucky to hae your parents help. Engage also the parents of your husband as well, even is your relationship was not that intensive with them earlier. Do not hesitate to accept and even more ask for any help. Techics o survive first period: get as much sunshine as possible (literally), open the windows, take the curtains off, go to the garden. Occupy herself onstantly. Will concinue, must go.

Updated

My father died whan I was six and my mother was 28. He died of lungs cancer after 3 year sufering, so I was less then 3 and my mother younger then 25 when hey learned that he is fatally ill. She never get thorough i and concenrated only on ringing up me, workd 12 hours a day to get me everything, ended up not only without husband for whole life, but without riends. DO NOT REPEAT HER. Though your loss is terrible, you are lucky to hae your parents help. Engage also the parents of your husband as well, even is your relationship was not that intensive with them earlier. Do not hesitate to accept and even more ask for any help. Techics o survive first period: get as much sunshine as possible (literally), open the windows, take the curtains off, go to the garden. Occupy herself onstantly. Will concinue, must go.

I'm sooo sorry to hear this....

No, I've not lost my husband....

i've lost loved ones and know that time does make it better - it doesn't make it perfect - but it makes it better...you are too young to stop living....and loving....

Get up every day and keep Thanking God for the time you had together...cherish it and tell your children all the wonderful things their daddy did for them and you - how he loved them and you....just because he's dead doesn't mean the love isn't still there.

I know that my Godmother lost her husband (My Godfather) of 55 years last August...the first year is the hardest...please know that you are not alone...HUGS to you!!! BIG HUGE HUG!!!

A.;
I am so sorry for your loss and your pain. I am late replying to your post, I just wanted to let you know that this will pass and one day you will look back and be able to feel at peace. Take a day at a time. An hour at a time. Find books to build your spirit and strengthen you. Surround yourself with family members that offer support and comfort. I have never lost a husband but I have had major losses in my life (stillborn included). It is hard and painful, but you will get through it.
I wish you luck and much happiness in the future. :-)

I am so sorry for your loss. I just could not imagine. The only advice I can give is to be there for your children. You are their rock and they will need you more than ever now. I am glad you have moved in with your parents, you will need their support. Pray hard and maybe find a good church or group to join so you have the support you need and the people you need to talk to. Counseling may help. I am so sorry.