I'll try to keep this short but there are a lot of important details. My husband and I both work FT. A few months ago he said a conference was coming up that happens to be in my hometown, and would I be interested in going along with him and bringing our son, so that we could all be together and I could take my son around to see my extended family while he did his conference thing. I said Yes, I thought it was a great idea and he filed the paperwork to go.
Well, a couple of things came up with my work and I decided I wouldn't be able to go after all, I thought it would be too much. This was a month ago and when I told him about it, he said, Oh, that's fine. I still want to go myself, regardless.
Now just within literally the last two days it has become clear that I could have gone after all and everything would have been fine with my work. My husband just left today and he was feeling REALLY sad. He kept saying he is going to miss us so much, wishes I could have gone with with our little guy (he's 3), etc. I apologized and he's not mad at all....but I feel so bad! I just can't stop beating myself up over this for some reason.
Has anything like this every happened to you all? I guess I just need some encouragement....?
Now that I am older--I do not allow work to come before almost anything. My son is now out of college, but I recall missing his little league games a few times because my students' dance team had a performance. Which is more important to me now???
in my opinion NOTHING is more important then family. i just started working a month ago and i plain out told my boss my family comes first if something came up that i needed to be there or if my kid needed me i would be with her. if you are able to go. THEN GO surprise your man
It's not as if you did it on purpose. You made your plans with the best information you had at the time. What is there to even feel guilty about? It's a work trip he's taking anyway, not a pleasure trip nor vacation.
It's sweet that you'll miss each other, but that means you can make him a nice homecoming.
No encouragement here.....I would get on a plane with your "little guy" and join your husband in your hometown. Unless you would lose your job, please get on a plane.
This too shall pass, plan something fun for when he comes home and send him lots of emails and pictures while he's gone.
Aw, it is going to be fine.these things happen.
I bet you wanted Togo and he knows it...
Can you send him a treat from you and your so, that way one night when he gets to the hotel it will be there.. Or text him some funny Jokes, or promise him some fun family time when he gets home?
I feel your pain. Have had stuff like this happen before...no matter how carefully you plan stuff out, 3 or 4 twists happen before the actual event sending you scrambling in 8 different directions, only to find out last minute that you could have done it all along. Seems like this happens with everything i plan these days. Don't let him make you feel guilty. You tried your best. The only time you should feel guilty is if you shirk your work and family responsibilities to do something you know is not feasible. Keep your focus on the right things and know at the end of the say you can look yourself in the mirror. Good luck!
Don't feel guilty - you made the decision at the time that was best. Circumstances changed, or you got more information, that changed things, and you can't do anything about that now.
Plan something nice for your hubbie when he gets home - maybe a trip to Victoria's Secret or something ;) His favorite dinner, an uninterrupted football Sunday, whatever is his favorite thing - spoil him a bit. Sounds like you have a keeper there.
Wow, it would be really hard to travel with my husband for anything. I would not want to go! But we have four. I think a relaxing few days at home sounds good.
Gee-- no O. I know has a crystal ball.
You made the right decision at the time!
My husband travels a fair amount and I would be shocked if he acted like that! Work is work.
Stop beating yourself up! Oh, if only we had a crystal ball, life would be so much easier wouldn't it? How were you to know this would all work out? I am impressed that you took a pro-active approach to this situation.
Honestly, it's better that it happened this way than to have everything fall apart two days before you were supposed to leave, right? :)
Send your husband lots of texts and let him know that you miss him and are thinking of him. And for you: enjoy some "down time" with just you and your son. When my husband travels, we do all the things that he doesn't like to do- eat at certain restaurants, watch silly videos- you get the idea!
L.,
Stop beating yourself up about this. You made the best decision you could with the information you had at the time. Your husband understands that and isn't mad at you, so why be mad at yourself? Take the time for the next few days to love on your 3 year old and get ready for your hubby to come back. Everything happens for a reason. Take care of you. M
