Too Early to Go on Vacation Without Baby?

Go & pPump don't worry about storing it. If you think about it you can prepare & behappy on vacation.

To all the moms that say she should stay with her baby...kudos to you. Having a baby is by choice so that meant vacations without baby, partying, etc. is not acceptable as parents.

It is wonderful to hear that there are moms out there that wouldn't leave there child/children for a long period of time for the sake of having a fun time.

There is a place and time for everything but at this point your child needs you.

I would go with what your gut says. For me though, I wouldn't go. 10 days is a long time. My husband and I went away without our daughter for 4 days when she was 19 or 20 months and she was a wreck while we were gone. She was still breastfeeding also, but at that point its more emotional than nutritional so I didn't need to pump for her (she continued to breastfeed after we got back, though). Anyway, we missed her and she missed us a lot. She was clingy and weepy for the last couple of days we were gone and clingy and weepy for a week or so after we got back. We just babied her for that time so that she could trust us not to leave her again :(

I can completely understand the temptation to go and I would waaaant to go too, but it would make me too nervous.

GO!!! If you trust your parents with your child, then go! I did. I had a chance to go to Paris, but it ment leaving my little ones when they were still very small. I have great memories, and the kids were just find without me for a few days, plus it helped them to learn that even it Mom goes away for a few days, she will return.

Go!
If you trust your parents she will be fine.
I had to leave my daughter for 3 weeks(not by choice) when she was 7 months old. She doesn't remember. They tell me she had a great time and adjusted quickly. It will probably be harder for you...lol
I would say, if you are the type of person who is prone to bouts of guilt and regret then do not do it. But if you can go and have a good time then why not.

Go GO GO GO GOOOOOO!! Yes, you'll miss your baby, but doubtful that your baby will miss you. You will definitely NOT be psychologically damaging your child by leaving. And NO you're not a bad parent for wanting to go or for even going.

We make many sacrifices for our children all of our lives, but sometimes we must do things that are for ourselves. Geesh, how many opportunities will you have to go to SA? ummmmm, none. It's ONLY 10 days....it's not a month or 10 months....a short 10 days. There are parents who are deployed in the military for months on end w/out seeing their children. GO GO GO!!

And as my first pediatrician said, there are babies who cry from the time they exit the womb - 24/7. Doubtful that she will cry except when the normal times happens.

Have a FANTASTIC time on your vacation. Come back and tell us all about it, so we all can be jealous.

I do know that there is a stage of separation anxiety at around 7-9 months and that may make the trip really hard on her. Especially since she does not know your parents well. I don't want to tell you what to do, but if it were me, I don't think I would be able to do it. 7 months is still really young. Your baby does not really know that it is separate from you until it is around 1 1/2. Unless however, you have a really easy going, go with the flow kind of baby. In that case, it might be just fine. I hope everything works out for you!

My husband and I went on an overseas trip for 8 days when our daughters were 3yrs and 12 months. They had a great time with our friend who tended them. Our baby didn't seem phased, and our older girl just said, "I missed you SO much!" when we woke her up to say hello.

Go on your trip and ENJOY IT!

C.,
Here's some advice from an older mom:
I understand your anxiety as a new mom. Your life is dedicated to taking care of this wonderful, very needy bundle of joy. How hard it is to say good-bye even for a few hours. I don't think I would have gone when my kids were little. But now that they are grown up and surrvived so many trauma's, both big and little, if I could go back in time and tell myself it will be OK, I would.
I had 3 kids in 3 years and no parents or in-laws living close by. Needless to say, we never went anywhere! We did no for a 2 day overnight on one of our anniversaries. I was nervous about being gone and couldn't wait to get back to my babies! The kids were absolutely fine and hardly seemed to miss me. 10 days is a lot longer than 2 days and you will be very far away, however I would say go for it! My kids are now 20, 18 and 17 and frankly they don't remember anything before the age of 3 or 4. We also adopted a relative just before he turned 1. Talk about seperation anxiety! He was taken from his home and sent to live with strangers. We lived in a different state and had never met him before. 7 years later, he is a happy, well adjusted little boy with no seperation anxiety issues. He does not remember the trauma of coming to live with us. Your daughter will be fine. Will she cry? absolutely! Will it be hard on your parents? Most likely it will be. But kids are wonderfully resilient and she will not have any long term trauma from being away from you for 10 days. Go on this once in a lifetime trip and take lots of pictures to show her when she is older. She will be fine.
You'll have to figure the weaning thing out for yourself. My daughter weaned herself at around 7 months because I got pregnant with number 3! She is very healthy, hardly ever sick and a beautiful 5'10" tall. Don't stress about the little things, you'll have enough worries once they start dating and driving. Go to Africa and have a great time.
B.

I would pass on the trip, only because of the age of your daughter. I personally would have a very hard time leaving her.

I also think it would be hard on a 7 month old to be away from mom/dad for that long, with someone they are not familiar with.

Africa will always be there (whether you choose to go at a later time in your life), but your daughter is only a baby once.

Wow - answers all over the board. I personally would go for it. You said it yourself - this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. As in, somebody else won't be footing the bill for you to see one of the most exotic countries in the world ever again.

Listen - I understand why some have said don't go. But being a mother is not your only identity and while you will miss your baby like crazy...she really will be just fine. Even if, god forbid, she was clingy for a few days when you got back. She won't be traumatized, she'll be with people that love her and give her a ton of love. Have your parents come and stay at your house a day or two before you leave and then you can all leave the house at the same time. She's going on an adventure not being left. Give her your pajamas that you slept in for a couple nights before you left so it has your sent. Talk to her about everything - how you are both going on a great big adventure and that when you come back from yours you will all go do something really fun together. Call her doctor and your doctor about advice on the shots you'll need ect. Make sure you mother has a medical release and that your parents are on the same page about appropriate foods, etc.

It will be okay! It takes a village to raise a child. How lucky for your kid to have so many people that love her and want to be with her! Let her know it.

Thats is a tough choice, to me. We went to Asia when my daughter was 9 months old, but we ended up paying some of the cost for my in-laws to join us. That way we could do some adults only things, but we could also have some built-in babysitting. We were really lucky that this could work out.

I think your daughter will almost certainly be fine. If you decide to go, i'd plan to pump and save, and then pump while you're gone. No reason to force early weaning for this. However, i'd definitely want to make sure she would take a bottle before you left.

Also, ten days is a long time. While some people are brave enough to just jump in (and almost certainly find that things were just fine when they got home), if it were me i'd try a weekend trip first to see how things go.

I would go. I would also have my little one stay over night a few times before the trip, to see if any questions arise. Sure, with a 7 month at home, you wouldn't plan a trip like this. Ideally it is probably not the best time to travel. However, it is also not the end of the world. Like you said, this is a once in a lifetime chance. Kids adjust. Within a few days of you returning home, it will feel to your child like you never left. But, you will have the memories for a lifetime. I would pump and store my breast milk before hand. And, I would pump a few times a day when gone to keep up your supply. I think if you do not go, you will regret it. Good luck with your decision. It is a hard one!

C.,

It is a super personal decision and I think you have to follow your instincts as well as the guideline you have set for yourself with your parenting of your children. I have three children--9, 7, and 22 months, and I was given the opportunity to do something that I REALLY wanted to do when my you youngest was 7 months old that would have taken me away from her for three days. I couldn't do it. I felt so bad saying no, but I knew I would have felt worse the entire time I was gone and would do nothing but worry about how she was--but that is me. I have a friend who I think would have no problem leaving her baby with her parents, but all of the grandparents are involved on a daily basis.

Seven months is a pretty crucial time developmentally, however, only you know your baby best. If you feel no doubt then I say do it, but if you have doubt and feel anxious, then I think your intuition is telling you it isn't a good idea. If you make the decision that this is something you are going to do, I would try to move your parents into her world rather than the other way around.

This is a hard question for someone else to answer, but in my case I would absolutely have gone. But...I can't speak to the early weaning because I wasn't able to breast feed so my little girl was on a bottle from day 1 so that wasn't an issue. I think the best questions to ask yourself to make the decision is this:

Will you regret it more if you don't go, or if you go and can't enjoy it because you are worried the whole time? Your baby is 7m old and will easily adjust to being with grandma and grandpa, so it is mostly a question of YOUR comfort level with leaving her and getting the feeding situation down before you leave. Bottom line is that your baby will be just fine, so it's really up to you if you want to take advantage of this opportunity. In the same situation I know my answer would have been that I would always look back and wish I'd taken the chace to see the world. It's only one week of your babies life that she will not even remember, but it's a memory of a lifetime for you and your husband.

Ok, so after reading a few other responses I decided to edit mine a bit. It really does depend a lot on the personality of your baby. My daughter has always been very independent and NOT clingy or a mammas girl. She has stayed at Grandmas house for 2-3 days at a time on many occasions and even spend 2 weeks there while I was in the hospital and was a little clingy after that but did just fine. Basically if she is warm, loved, fed and comfortable she is fine with pretty much anyone. Honestly, I would have a much harder time leaving her for 10 days now that she is 2 yrs old than when she was 7m because now she WOULD miss me and remember I was gone. I say do it now before she is old enough to remember you being gone.

Go.

My husband and I took a trip together around the same time frame that you are talking about. I pumped and stored milk and brought my breast pump everywhere on our trip. I was able to keep up my milk supply until I got home. It was a challenge to continue to breastfeed when I got home. I wanted to give up so bad but I keep trying and he eventually took back to breastfeeding. It's a once in a lifetime thing for you and your husband and like you said your baby will be in good hands with your parents. It's good for you and your husband and so many couples stop making marriage a priority when children come along!

You mentioned it is supposed to be an adult only trip...

but could it also be your mom/folks could also go on the trip so baby would be close-by - BUT you and husband would still have all the freedom to be with the group.

wow that suggestion just added serious $$ ....

how about having mom and dad come for an extended visit BEFORE you leave, or even commit, to the trip so they are very familiar with baby and the routines. you could even try an overnight while on this 'preliminary' visit to see if you are ready to go for an extended vacation.

Sometimes I have made decisions like this.
'If in a year or two from now I will be wishing.. I had done xx or yy instead of aa or bb... Then it could help you make a choice now' Kind of looking into your own crystal ball :)

all the best,
-marg

would just like to say to the lady who says dont go because you shouldnt be having fun without your child lol...that is sad. A mother cannot be a mother if she doesnt have her self. Being a mom yes, a full time job! with that said every mom who is a full time mom needs a break. Wether is be a weekend away or 9 days is th mothers personal decision on what shes comfortable with as long as the child is with their trusted care giver the mother should have no problem leaving a 7 month old for their personal vaca. Along with it only being an annual or once in a lifetime opportunity. Just because you have a child does NOT mean the mother cannot act responsibly and have thier own few days of time for their self. I find it quiet disturbing hearing someone day otherwise, being a mother myself, a caregiver for other children, and a teacher. Hope all mothers enjoy the joys of parenthood but also get to leave a fun happy life of thier own!

Go.

Figure out the details and go.

And no, she won't be inconsolable for 10 days. She'll be safe, warm, protected, fed, cared for, and loved. (I would sometimes get jealous of the relationships my son had with others...but I just told myself over and over...that teaching a heart to love and accept love, is a priceless lesson...and that the more people who loved my son, and who he loved the richer HIS life.) AND it IS a great gift to nana and papa. Can you imagine taking care of your baby's baby for a week in 25 years? How special that would be for you?

To wean or not, I would do what feels right/best to YOU. For myself I probably wouldn't (but i had an infection at 9 months and lost my milk before the choice was put before me) Medically speaking, the longer the better, and the 1st year should be human milk or formula as the primary source of nutrition...but quite frankly...if you're not nursing your DO have the formula option...you know your baby and your body., and whatever feels right probably is.

Have a GREAT trip

:) :) :)

C.- I would DEFINITELY go!! What a great opportunity. A couple of things....
1. You can pump and dump and hardly lose any milk supply. When my son was 3 weeks old we had a car accident and he spent 2 months in the hospital. I pumped (and saved) the WHOLE time and when he was finally ready was able to start nursing again after 2 months of no nursing whatsoever. You do have to be diligent...every three hours or so...drink lots of water. If I could do it for 55 days I think you should be fine for 10.
2. One mom said something crazy about having kids and forgetting who we are or leaving them. PUH LEASE! You are your daughter's mom...but you are also your husband's wife and a woman! You can absololutely leave your baby with someone who loves and cares for her and that does NOT make you a bad mother.
3. We often hear of dads and moms that go away for months if not more time when they are in the military. We don't criticize that parent for chosing a job that takes them away from their child.
4. Your baby may cry while you are gone for a day or so...babies do not die from crying. Your mother and father raised you and you turned out just fine. They will love and cuddle and help your daughter and it will be a fabulous bonding experience for both your parents and child. (I would go with the suggestion of having them over more before you leave so your daughter is more comfortable with them)
5. Your baby wont forget you. My son was on life support for 3 weeks. He did not open his eyes or move his body. When he finally came off support and all the machines it had been a month since I held him. When I did he turned his little head and tried to nurse. He knew his mama immediately and was not afraid, clingy, or act like he didn't know me.
Go mama!! It's a once in a lifetime opportunity.
L.

Hey C.,

WOW. Awesome opportunity. Do what feels right for your family.

A note about pumping. I've found the Medela hand-held no electricity cheap pump works just fine. Buy one and try it out. So much easier than lugging a big one on an overseas journey. Definitely store lots of milk for your parents. Pump and dump on your journey.

You can always get back to breastfeeding!!! It's a lot of work though if you don't regularly express milk for the duration of your trip.

I would STRONGLY suggest contacting La Leche League or another breastfeeding expert who can walk you through the things you should do to *comfortably* maintain your supply.

It will feel so good to be able to put your baby to the breast, for you both, when you return!

ENJOY!

Go for it!!! it is not like yor child is going to be with a stranger.....they are going to be with your parents. I say do it!!! Especially if you are feeling the need to re-conect to your Hubbie. The best gift that you can give your child is a strong healthy relationship with their dad!!!

I personally wouldn't go, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't.

If you decide to go, start pumping and storing now. You can wean, but things will probably be easier for both of you if you continue nursing and the most current recommendations are that babies nurse until age 2. :) Just remember that you'll need to take your pump with you and pump while you're on vacation.

My husband take to leave town for about 10 days just before my oldest turned 7 months and it was hard to be home without him, but it was the right choice for us. Since she's seen her grands every couple weeks, they won't be strangers to her and she shoould be at least reasonably okay. You can leave a shirt that you've worn to help her if she does get anxious, but many parents leave their kids without issue. How do you think your daughter would handle it?

It sounds like a wonderful opportunity and if it were me I would go for it. If you are worried about stranger anxiety from being left maybe you could make a couple extra trips to your parents place so your baby would be more comfortable. As for pumping or weaning...I would try pumping now and see how it goes. You have a couple months to get everything in order so get started now. Again this is a wonderful opportunity, don't miss out on it due to fears.

I may be going against the grain but I would not go. Firstly, at around that age baby's separation anxiety really sets in and if she is not used to her grandparents that could be very traumatic. Babies have no sense of time and so to her you would just completely disappear, also removing your bodily comfort to her (nursing). Yes, she would still get breastmilk but not in the same comforting and bonding way for almost 2 weeks. And she wouldn't understand what was going on.
Second, I agree it is very important to get time with your hubby but please do that through date nights for now. I don't think your life has to be put on hold for 18 years but I do believe that the first few years of a baby's life are the high-need years and we parents have a responsibility to be there for our little ones more than usual. And yes, that means for a few short years our baby's needs come first before our own.
I know it seems like this once in a lifetime opportunity shouldn't be wasted but I guess to me, a trip just isn't worth my baby's distress and anxiety right now. (And studies show that baby's do suffer anxiety and depression when their main caregiver is gone for an extended period of time.) Wait a few years and then go. That way your child will be better able to understand and cope and you can enjoy your trip worry-free. I know it's tough but no one said having a kid was easy. Hang in there and I hope I didn't offend, just offering my humble opinion. Take care.

It is totally a personally decision, but if it were me I would go. What a chance that you may not get again.

You could take a manual pump (am not sure about the electricity in Africa) and dump the milk while you are there. Then you would not have to wean if you didn't want to. Plus a 7 month old is eating solids and nursing a bit less. Nutritionally she should be fine.

I can guarantee you that your child will be fine for 10 days. It might be a little rough the first couple of days on Grandma and Grandpa. Can they come a couple of days early to make the transition and to see how what your routine is?? She may cry, but she will eventually know that she is loved and cared for.

Best of luck and what an opportunity!

How hard for you! Here is my two cents: My husband and I used to go on many, many trips and vacations before our daughter was born. That's what we spent our money on. I swore that even when we had a baby that this would continue and I would never give up our time together. I NEVER thought I'd be the type of mom that can't leave her baby for a few days. Fast forward to now having a 16 month old baby girl... Things have changed. In theory, I'd love to take a vacation and I have even said, "Let's take a weekend trip." However, we've gone so far as to plan trips and a day or two before I'm in tears and apologizing profusely to my husband about wasting the money because I just can't leave her. (Not that I need to apologize, he's wonderful and just says, "no worries, baby, we'll try when you feel ready."). She would stay with my parents if we did take a trip. They have her three days a week while I work and she is VERY close to them and used to their home.

Anyway, my point is this: The trip may sound great and you will be able to talk yourself into thinking that you'll be fine with leaving her. You'll think, "oh, by the end of November I'll be able to do it." However, when it comes down to it and as it draws nearer you might find yourself becoming more and more anxious and find that you can't do it. It might sound over the top, but it can make you so emotional that you feel physically ill.

I'm not saying you shouldn't go and if you do, you should NOT feel badly about yourself. I just wanted to give you my story as someone who originally planned to leave her baby often for adult trips. It might affect you more than you think it will. Your daughter will probably be fine, but I'm worried about your emotional well-being! If you do go, please don't stop nursing. Yeah, sending the milk back for her might not work out, but pump and dump if you have to (OUCH, I know). Just keep your milk supply up while you're gone and nurse her when you get back. She will nurse again.

Good luck with your decision... It's a heart-wrenching one and I feel for you.

To be honest that really depends on your comfort level about this. My daughter is almost two and I would not even consider leaving her for two weeks, not even in the care of my husband, who is a wonderful father. I have to attend a conference sometime this month and will be making the 3 hour drive there and home some days because I don't want to leave her overnight for four days...
If you feel comfortable with leaving her with your parents for that time, just follow your plan, pump ahead and maybe try to introduce some formula as well, in case your can't pump enough to last the entire two weeks and your parents have to supplement. While you are gone pump and dump 3-4 times daily to keep your supply going. It will go down, but if you can commit to increased nursing when you get back, you will get it back up and can continue breastfeeding.
Apart from the reduction in milk your baby may be reluctant to take your breast at first, so be prepared to encounter some resistance and overcome it.
Good luck and have a good trip if you go!

I would definitely go. It will be hard, but it will only be 10 days, and it will probably be really good for you and your husband to get away as people, not just parents. Children have an amazing way of connecting with their grandparents. My son had MAJOR stranger anxiety from about 10 months to 2 years. Even if it was just one person out of the ordinary (not mom, dad or brother) he would throw himself on the floor and hide his face for up to an hour before coming around. However, with EVERY single grandparent (all 7 of them), even the ones he only saw once or twice a year, there was no stranger anxiety at all. He was ready to play from the first moment. It was amazing to me, and really showed the power of that bond. I would also try to pump, rather than wean, but the shots may decide that for you. I wouldn't beat myself up if you end up having to wean. Breastmilk is best, but she has a good start, and there are lots of kids who are never breastfed who do just fine. Good luck & have fun.

I would go. If you don't want to wean just start pumping and pump when you are gone. My little one travels with his dad sometimes and I just send frozen milk and then pump when he is gone. Giving the baby formula is not the end of the world for a week, the only reason to pump when you are gone is so that you don't loose your milk supply.

I say go and pump while you are gone. But I want to bring up two things; one - what are the immunization requirements for you to go to whatever country you are going to? Do you have enough time to get them all and are they safe for breastfeeding mothers? Then second, your daughter will be fine but she might need a couple of days to remember who you are, I left my daughter at 10 months with my parents for 12 days and it took her 3 days or so to remember me really. You have to stil live your life and not put it on hold for 18 years while your children grow up so go and have fun with your husband.

Hey i know that you have alot of responses but I also wanted to respond.

This is a once in a lifetime trip like you have said. Yes, your baby may cry. I have a three yr old who still cries and begs me everytime I leave not to leave her. She has been like this since day one. My 5 yr old could care less she begs us to go out so she can go to grammy and papas. I think the reason for my 3 yr old is b/c I felt super protective of her for some reason and never left her anywhere for like the first 1-1 1/5. My marriage suffered b/c of this. First b/c I was not being a good wife and also attending to my husband. I look back and regret it now. My husband was great during this time but it did put a strain on our marriage. Now, I leave her and don't think twice about it I know that her grandparents love her just as much as me and that they raised my husband so I am pretty sure they will be fine with my kids :).

I said all that to say this if it was me I would GO!! GO GO GO !! Go and have fun. Make sure that you leave a medical note stating that if your daughter got sick and needed a dr that your parents could do that for her. every trip we have done I have came back and it seems that my kids love me more than before. It does a mom and kids good to get away from each other sometimes!! It will make you a better mom and wife. Go and have fun with your husband and show him that yes things have changed since you are a mom but that you are still his woman. Think of the memories that you will build together.

I am a Nanny for a 16mth old now and when she was 8mths her parents went to Mexico for 10 days and left her with the grandparents. She did just fine and she hardly ever sees those grandparents. My parents live in OK and we live in WA and I have taken my kids there and then my husband and I go on a trip. They do just fine b/c they feel the love from them just like us.

Ok so enough rambling. I hope that you do go and have fun. Remember that we also have our husbands and selfs to take care of sometimes also.

J

I vote no.

But at some level it depends on your baby.

My oldest, I went away for two and a half days when she was 14 months--and she stayed with her *daddy*! (I was with my mother in law)--and she was so traumatized that when they came to get me at the airport her brain didn't perceive who I was for about 5 minutes, and even then she held herself in reserve emotionally ... she had had Mommy disappear and was not willing to trust Mommy again. Now that I revisit that, I wonder if we've ever actually recovered from that ...

On the other hand, my other daughter might have been fine with me taking such a trip--although I will be very (probably painfully) frank and say I in no way think she would have been fine for 10 days with people who aren't everyday love-people to her.

You should DEFINITELY look into developmental milestones at 7 months. My recollection is that there is a major growth spurt around 6-7 months and not only do they eat more, they get all off-balance emotionally because their world is changing (what they can and can't do, and even that they begin to operate vertically (sitting up) instead of horizontally ... HUGE shift in perceptions, not least because brains held vertically literally process differently than brains laying down!!) ...

I find "all adult" trips that can't handle nursing babies to be idiot inventions that could only have come out of the mind of a society that has long denigrated the *obvious* importance of mothers--and for that matter *fathers*--in the ongoing developmental health of *society.*

I perceive you have no doubts about your husband's fidelity if he goes on the trip without you (yay :)! ).

I really think you two should find a different, baby-inclusive answer to getting some time alone. (First thing that comes to mind as a potential win-win: go visit those grandparents for a few days, with the stated expectation that they will watch the baby for several hours a day without you two (they are clearly ready to do that for you :)! ) ... and see if you can find a nice bed-and-breakfast to use as your couple-space headquarters ;). )

South Africa might be once in a lifetime. I'm not even going to try to be sunny and say "you'll get another chance." Your baby's emotional balance is also once in a lifetime, and to my perception it is once in at least three lifetimes (hers, yours, her daddy's ... any potential partner(s) she has when she's older ... etc. ), and all injury that occurs pre-verbally is injury that only the deepest therapy--or prayer--can bring to healing.

Sounds to me like you already have made the decision. So many questions..... I would follow your gut and pass.

My parents went on a vacation f0r 2 weeks when I was 9 months and my brother 3. We stayed with my grandparents out at logging camp. I knew my grandparents but had never spent the night with them, or been to the logging camp and would go weeks without seeing them. Anyhow, I have absolutely no memories of any trauma. My parents went on a cruise to the Carribean that my dad won through his work. Now that I am a mom we joke about leaving the kids for 2 weeks with my mom and she says no way! Anyhow, my point is other people have done it with no ill effects to their children so it's all up to your comfort level. I was already weaned so that wasn't an issue. Good luck with your decision but whatever you decide the hardest part will be not second guessing yourself. Make your decision. Trust yourself that it is the best for you and your family and then go forward with no looking back!

I personally wouldn't go. You never know how it will actually effect your child. I know a woman with 4 kids, she had left all of them for a day or two once in a while when they were young. The first three were fine, so she thought it would be fine to leave the fourth for 3-4 days when he was under a year. She said he was NEVER the same after that, he's 8 now and still super clingy and unsure of himself. I think that 7 months is too young to leave a child over-night even..

Good luck with what ever decision you choose.

Hi C.,

As a first time mom too, I left my son for the first time when he was just 4 months, for a company paid trip with my husband. Our trip was only 3 days, but still a major decision as you leap into parenthood. I've also been to South Africa, so I can tell you how amazing of an opportunity it would be for you. The breastfeeding portion is the challange. You will regret if you stop breastfeeding your child ahead of plan, but you won't want to pump while you're away, trust me. Plus, I've learned when you're taken away from the baby as a stimulant for your milk production, and try to rely on the pump, it didn't work for me. I needed my son to be a part of it to make my body continue to produce. It would be extremely inconvenient to try and pump regularly while on such a big trip, you'll be frustrated and probably uncomfortable.
The bottom line is that only you know if its the right time to leave your child for that period of time. No one else will be able to tell you what's right or wrong for you. I know this is a really tough decision, but just remember that your child would be in great hands, and she will not remember it if she has a hard time with the temporary adjustment. She will be just fine, and will love you just the same when you return home from your trip. Best of luck with your decision making! I know its a tough one!

Hi C.,

First of all, it is sad that there is judgment of other people in some of these responses. I applaud you for trying to make an informed decision, and I'm sure you will make the right decision for yourself. I can only tell you what I would do, just to drop another voice into the mix. I think that I would go as long as it wouldn't mean the end of nursing. If you've decided that's important to you, as it was to me, then that can mean a difference in health, which, to me, is not worth it. As for the comfort of your daughter, I think she'll be fine and that--as one person said--as long as she is warm and loved and fed and entertained, she will be fine. It's all about how you would feel and what your thoughts are about the nursing question. Perhaps a good starting point would be to pump to see how responsive your breasts are to it. Definitely get that all handled before you go. Good luck! Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you.

Best,
L.

Good luck with your decision. I would like only to provide you with some breastfeeding info. If you choose to leave your child, you do NOT have to wean her. If you are ready to do so anyway, no judgement from me. However, if you would like to continue nursing her after you get back, you simply need to pump a few times a day while you are gone. When you return, your milk supply may be down, so you will probably need to supplement with a bottle or two (depending on your daughter, eating schedule, etc.) and build your supply back up with some conscientious nursing. I made some mistakes regarding this issue with child #2 and thinking that I needed to wean her because I was leaving her for a few days, when in fact I would not have had to wean her. Anyway, I still regret that decision, so I wanted to make sure you had all the info regarding breastfeeding. You might check with someone better educated than me if you want more info. Good luck with your decision and parenting in general, the hard choices never end.

This is a really tough one! I couldnt imagine what I would chose given the situation??? You really have to go with your instinct on this one and REALLY way all the pros and cons. My daughter was 1 1/2 when we left her for 5 days. It was really hard. But, she is extremely close with her grandparents as the live in the same town and would see her at least once a week. She had many sleepovers with them prior to our big trip. I really dont think that any of us can tell you which way to go, but it is an AMAZING oportunity. and reconnecting with your hubby is VERY important especially at this point. Best of luck to you and please let us know what you choose. I have some great ideas to help your little one adjust while you are gone if interested.

I believe I would go. If I knew in my heart that my baby was in good hands, and nurtured... everything else can be overcome. I do think getting the grandparents, or even just Gramma to come for several visits and get more introduced and familiar between now and then would do wonders for the transition. Can they come once or twice a month between now and then for just a couple days or so each time? Work it so that you are able to go out and do shopping or errands or whatever and leave them at your house to become used to each other, while you are really just nearby? That should help alot. Would you be able to make a visit to their home before the actual trip and have your daughter become acquainted with their house, smells, sounds, etc.? This could be a good test run to see that all is set up to be comfortable for baby and grandparents before the actual trip.
Do you need vaccinations for this trip? How will that work with breastfeeding?
Do you have webcams? IF the baby did get out of sorts, could you possibly sing her a lullabye over the webcam/computer/phone or just talk to her and perhaps help calm her down and keep your presence "near" for her? I think you should consider that and how you could make it work out, (Borrow a laptop for grandparents, if they dont have one) you could get a routine each day of some Talk Time, where they cuddle her with your pillowcase or night clothes or something that smells like you and let her hear your voice at the same time. If this logistically just wouldnt work, could you Pre record yourself so they could play it to her? and you really might think about sending something that smells like you. Not to be washed!
It will take some extra effort, but I would consider it worthwhile to go make some memories with your man on the companies tab! Be careful you dont come home pregnant! :~)
Best of luck to you and enjoy the trip. Your emotions will be torn up, cause you will miss her like mad and perhaps feel guilty once you are there, and dont let that ruin the vacation. She will be fine. If you do all you can to secure her comfort, I dont think this is going to ruin her for the rest of her life!

What an amazing opportunity!! It's definitely a hard decision! One thought though, have you checked with your doctor on the shots you have to get before you go to Africa? Start there, it may not be safe to breast feed if you have to get multiple vaccines,... FYI I know nothing about this, I just heard its quite a few shots. You can also ask your doctor about what to do with the milk and all,.. The baby will cry, but she will adjust, it may be a perfect opportunity for her and her grandparents to bond too.. I say go for it! I'm jealous!

But do know, you will miss her like CRAZY! By the 2nd day you may just be at wits end!

Put together a book of you and your husband and baby girl with lots of pictures and that they can read it to her every night so she gets a daily dose of Mommy and daddy. Bring lots of familiar things for her too.