Grief is such a hard emotion to understand. I lost my husband of 20+ years a few years back. We had two children who were 14 and 8 at the time of his death and it was honestly the toughest most devastating ordeal I have ever experienced, not just the fact that my husband, my everything was gone but the real sorrow was for my children. How was I going to help them through their grief. I so needed my friends and family to be there for me emtionally but in no certain way. I found that many people didn't know what to say so they simply disappeared completely, this was the hard way to find out who my friends were and were NOT. I found that the people who sincerely let me know that if I needed them, they were there and then really meant it, not just saying they "were there for me" but when I called upon them for something, there they were. Just knowing that if I needed a shoulder to cry on or if I needed someone to talk about all of the good old times with or even to just sit and need not say a word, there was someone there. I think if you just let your husband know that even though you can't imagine his loss and how he is feeling right now, that you are there for him, to talk with to remember with or as I said before to sit there in silence with. Sometimes just KNOWING that we are not alone and that there is someone who cares and they are but a request away, it makes us feel better. Nothing makes grief go away faster or makes it less painful; everyone grieves in their own way and on their own time table. It can't be hurried, it can't be swept under the carpet, it must be dealt with and as long as your husband feels you by his side, he will feel less and less grief each day. The drinking is the scary part. If your husband has, in the past dealt with rough times in this way and he found his way back after a short time period, I wouldn't be too concerned however, drinking is like playing with fire when dealing with grief and the death of someone you cared for. It prolongs the sadness and it can also allow anger and the unfairness of death to enter the picture which never is a good combination. My husband, before his death drank too much on many occassions and it only added negative things to the situation. If, for some reason, you feel that he is not recovering in a time period that seems acceptable, it may be that depression has become part of it. Depression in itself can cause the grief process to linger for too long. You know your husband best, so do keep an eye on him and if you have any concerns, check with a local grief group or even a local AA group. there are many out there perhaps call a church and ask if they have a group that meets there and perhaps you can speak with a facilitator and get some ideas of how you might get him some extra help. I am in no way saying your husband has a drinking problem, he is probably just like the main part of the population, simply a social drinker. My only concern would be that grief can so affect something like social drinking and turn it into something so much more complicated. Do not let it get out of hand, if you need to get help, seek it out. I will say it again, Grief is a hard emotion to understand, let a lone deal with. Good luck.