How to Get Your Child to Quit Pinching

Updated on November 27, 2006
F.M. asks from Palmetto, FL
6 answers

I have a 14 mth old girl who loves to pinch. She has always done this but now she has learned how to really pinch so that it hurts. How can i get her to stop?

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So What Happened?

Thank You all sooo much for all of the advice. I have started to smack to her hand (gently) and tell her no. I have been very consistent and SLOWLY it is starting to work. Thanks again ladies!

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M.S.

answers from Pensacola on

hey..
is she pinching like for her comfort?? my daughter is 14 months also.. i nursed her and she used to use her free hand to kinda pinch the top of my chest.. just kinda play with my skin while she was nursing.. and she still does this now when i hold her sometimes, or if shes sleepy.. my older daughter who is 3 next month.. was an ear person. she would play and rub my ears, or anyones really if she was sleepy or wanting comfort in some way. she still does this. its like their version of sucking their thumb i think. now with the pinching. it definitely does hurt. there were days where i felt like i had little red marks all over my chest from her fidgeting. she would just mindlessly pinch the skin over and over. and at first it wasnt bad at all. i actually thought it was kinds funny. but now, i definitely dont let her keep doing it if it hurts. i know its just her way of comforting herself, so i let her do it until its aggrevating. i'll tell her no, and she listens pretty well. she'll stop if i tell her a couple times. you know how they like to test their limits.
so i would definitely just tell her no.. in a firm voice. she'll see you mean business and if you constantly tell her no and not allow that behavior, she'll have no choice but to stop it. i've also learned that at their age its hard to discipline b/c they dont understand much.. you just have to be consistent and then the behavior will become the norm... good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from Fort Walton Beach on

Pinch her back. When she is pinched she will know that it hurts and is not nice. Also when she pinches one of the other kids make her look at them and she will see that she hurt them. My son was a pincher and he didnt like that he was hurting others with it, but he still didnt stop until he realized that everytime he pinched his sister or other kids that he would get pinched back by me. It's kind of like a karma based form of discipline, what they do they get done to them. It doesnt work for everything and shouldnt be done for some things, but in the little things like pinching it's worth a try for you. If you try it then I hope it works for you, good luck.

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D.

answers from Sarasota on

If she has the urge to pinch you could allow her to pinch pizza dough or homemade playdoh and let her know that is where she can get her "pinching in". We always reminded our children that it hurts people/animals when they pinch/bite/push them. We always replaced unacceptable behaviors with replacements that are acceptable and it seems to work in our household.

I have a good recipe for oatmeat playdoh that is great for that age (doesn't matter if they put it in thier mouth). If you want it email me.

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W.D.

answers from Tampa on

My youngest is almost 14 months and she just started hitting me with things that can hurt. If I tell her "ow, that hurt", she just laughs like it's the funniest thing to her. The only thing I've found that really works at this age is trying to intercept the behavior. If she is holding an object and starts to swing her arm, I will block it or step back. She used to pinch while nursing and I would hold her hands still.

If you're holding her, you can put her down. Let her know that hurting others is not okay. Some people like to use positive phrases like "let's use nice hands".

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L.M.

answers from Tampa on

Pinch her back?! Maybe not. Telling that little sweetie in a calm, gentle, firm voice that it isn't okay to hurt is effective. If she doesn't understand, trying really hard not to respond to the behavior in any way (ouch! squeeking, etc.) sometimes helps. Maybe she just likes to be in charge of making something happen? Also, where do they learn these things!? Is she maybe using the behavior as a way to fight back when she finds herself in a situation? Who knows? She'll get it, but hopefully she won't leave you with marks. Good luck.

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B.C.

answers from Pensacola on

I personally use time out. My son is a bit older at 20 months, but i started time outs about 14 months of age. I give a 1-2-3 strike approach. 1st time he gets a warning and redirect to stop 2nd another warning and redirect, 3rd time out for 1 minute only. pick a spot where you can keep an eye on the child, but that's out of hte way of your walk path. Make sure it is the same spot each and every time. they don't understand the consept too much, this time out is mainly for you to walk away and calm down, more than for the child. but this is the start of them understanding that with bad behaviour comes punishment. Conner will cry for hte first 30 sec of time out, but will sit quietly for the remainder of the time. If they get up, you put them back and the time starts over again. after 1 full minute of sitting there, where you are both suffiencently calm. you go to the child, get down on their level and tell htem somethimg like "you're in time out cause you pinched, we dont' pinch that's not nice" then you get the child to give you a hug. this is their way of apologizing for bad beahaviour. this teaches them empathy for someone elses pain. then it's back to playing. Conner will now give me a big hug after time outs, when i come to get him. and he doesn't repeat the behaviour. the key is to be consistant. always do the same thing each adn every time. I wuoldn't advise pinching back as a way to teach them it hurts. that will just get you pinched more.
hth
B.

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