How to Cure a Mama's Boy

Hi!
Have you tried having your husband be in charge of his food, drinks, etc? I would wait him out. He is TOO young to be allowed to be in charge. You are the parents and you should decide which parent does it. If he doesn't want to take it from your husband then he doesn't get it. It seems like this may be him asserting his independence and having the power to decide which parent does what. He seems to be fine with your husband when you are not there so he IS capable of being with your husband. I would be prepared to stand your ground, listen to his crying, and not let him call the shots. He'll eventually have to accept the fact that your husband will do things for him too!
I would also put him in time out for pushing away your husband and getting between you. You have to be a united front that this behavior is not tolerated!!
L.

Your son is 2, he doesn't understand alot of the things that happen around him, what is his constant? YOU are? Even dad isn't, dad goes to work, disappears for hours at a time and then comes back HI!!!! GIMME A HUG!!! Omg who ARE you?? MOM!!! Think from a kids point of view. He was safe in Austin, it was his only home, right? Suddenly big trucks come, take away his things, you travel from where it is warm to where it is cold, wammo his stuff is in a new place, no friends, only mom and sometimes dad....it is confusing and scarey. Give it a few weeks. Let him get good and settled. Make a routine where you clean up the dinner dishes and dad takes him away to give him his bath, read him a story, sing him a song and put him to bed. He won't like it at first but your husband will have to be calm and you will have to "ignore" him.
My ex-husband was in the military, there were long stretches where it was just me and the kids. When he was home we had the routine I described above and the kids learned to look forward to their "daddy" time. They are 21 and 20 (YIPES!) now and both of them will tell you that that is one of their BEST memories of their dad. Be patient, be firm, be loving. =)

Amanda,

Not to be rude, but your husband isn't "allowed" to get him juice?

If that is the case, the your son should just not get any juice. After a few times of being denied, he won't mind your husband getting him some juice.

If he has a tantrum when you are speaking to your husband, then allow him to cry. He should be respectful to you and your husband as parents. Your husband should not be denied a conversation with his wife because a three year old says it is not alright.

Again, I don't wont to be rude and I am not trying to be mean. Being a mother is sometimes really hard, I know. You want to do everything for your son, it's part of being a good mother, right? But catering to him, is not doing him any favors.

Sometimes you do have to do the tough love thing, even if it breaks your heart.

After a few tough weeks, it will get 100% better. Promise.

Normal developmental phase. One day the day will come when "Daddy!" is the favored parent, although it's never quite as strong as that mama love. Don't cater to his whims but try not to show too much reaction to them either. My 3yo is in his oedipal stage right now (although he doesn't care who gets his milk) and we just ignore it. If he's too pushy (petting my breasts, for example) I calmly put him down and do something else for a while - not giving him rewards for it, but not making a big deal about it. Eventually he'll understand that mom and dad are a couple, but he's too little to care about the details now. It sounds like it would make sense to have more "personal time" away, even if it's just running out to the store on a weeknight to give them some time alone.

When you leave for your personal time, what happens between your husband and your son? Is it a good experience for them? Could your husband try taking your son out during this time and maybe you could change your personal time every week to different days/times. That way your son can get used to you being gone. Maybe you should spend a few days away from the home so your son is stuck with his father and they can bond better.

This is actually supposed to happen in a child's development. This is one of Freud's stages...the child is in love with the member of the opposite sex and hates the same sex parent. A child will pass this phase however in the mean time I would suggest giving some power back to your husband. It might be something small you start out with like refilling juice but let your son know beforehand that daddy will be refilling your juice but mommy will give you the cup. He'll learn that daddy is not the enemy. Also remember its just another one of those phases children go through. Hang in there!!!