How Do You Decide to Try for 3! - Fort Worth,TX

I have six children and my fifth has Down Syndrome. They are just over three years apart. There was an adjustment period, but D loves his little brother, as do all of his older siblings. There will be challenges, but the blessings are far greater.

No! He wont be messed up. We only have 2 so far but even with a just 8 month old we are already talking about #3. We want 4 actually. If you can afford it and are interested I say go for it. Kids are amazing and although sometmies you wish you could go back- they are so worth it! :)

If you and your husband want another child, don't listen to other people. It wouldn't be a disaster. Your three-year-old would learn to be a big brother, just as your five-year-old did. It won't mess them up. I don't think children are "meant" to be the baby or the oldest or whatever. That just sounds silly.

I agree with the other moms dont let anyone else make the choices for your family or scare you into not doing something because of their opinions. You said he had medical problems before and thats why you baby him...maybe a new baby for him to take on the big brother role would actually help him to grow a little. i think as long as being a mom is what you love to do and you have time to give to all three you will be just fine. I have three and my two youngest ended up very close in age, not on purpose, i was told by lots of people I i was cheating my older son out of "his baby time" i will admit i was worried for awhile but I acttually now couldnt be happier with how things worked out. My boys are so close and such buddies its that best thing that happened to our family. Good luck and I wish you well. I hope if you decide to move forward with growing your family you find motheehood of three exciting. Theres never a dule moment i'll tell you that much, but it's in a good crazy way...:0)

The only thing that matters is your heart, nothing else. If you and your husband have the love, time and desire and your children seem ready, then absolutely go for it.

Best of luck!

You are the one having a child and it's your family so what do others have to do with it? All I can say is that I had two boys 12 months and 5 days apart and everyone thought they were the our family and basically what you're getting but we wanted more and when the boys were 6 and 7 we had a little girl and then when she was 9 had our 8th child. It was more like two families with the older two boys and the last 6 but they all did fine together and all loved each new baby. I would do what you feel you want and my advice is unless you want such a big age span to have one now or you could do like we did and have a big space. We didn't really plan to have that space but we did and it worked out fine. Do what you feel is right for you and your husband. Kids can learn to love each other no matter what the space is. And there is always a baby at the end who has to learn to share, etc. so don't worry about this number two child now. Whatever you do he'll adjust.

it only matters what you and your husband want. There's no way that your son was meant to be a youngest child. That is silly. The only way it would be a disaster would be if you do what my mom did, which is have a new baby and completely ignore the other children except to yell at them. As long as you still love all of your children and give them attention and love, you arent going to be hurting them to have another baby, you could only enhance their lives with the presence of a new baby brother or sister love and be there for them for their lives.

On our end, I just felt like my family was incomplete and that someone was missing...and then we had our 3rd. I have never felt that way again. I still ooh and smile over babies and look forward to grandbabies someday. But I feel that we are complete. I think it is a decision that you can only make for yourself. We have a friend that got pregnant with her 4th and everyone was shocked, thinking that they had been finished. They are now complete. For every family it is different. -- But I might stop sharing your goals with your friends. Just see what happens.

It would only mess him up if you allowed him to be forgotten. Make the decision based on your thoughts, wants, needs and desires. Everyone has an opinion, but that doesn't mean that their opinion is good for you. Yes, adding another baby is work. But if you treat all of your children as important individuals then they will know that they are loved and won't be messed up.

If you teach your children to love each other, they'll do just fine. My mom was concerned about how I would react to another baby since I was spoiled by my dad. I was 3 when my brother was born and I was the most excited and most devoted sister! He had two other sisters older than I. But our mom TAUGHT us to love each other. I think that's missing in a lot of families today.

Who are these people who are telling you that having #3 would be a disaster!? Hmmm . . . I grew up as the "middle child" of five children and I can tell you that I'm not permanently scarred by the experience! ;-). And I have 3 daughters and I can't say I'm seeing any ill effects on my middle child or my oldest. There will always be an adjustment period, and maybe a little more so for your 4 year old. Your oldest probably won't think much of it because he doesn't remember a time w/o a sibling. I remember when we told our girls that we were having a baby, my then youngest who was not quite 6 did get upset -- she said it was because she wasn't going to be the baby anymore. And I told her that she would always be my baby -- all of my children will always be my babies. Well, guess who absolutely adores her little sister now? She is like a little mother!

In the end, go with your instincts -- what do you and your husband want? Don't second-guess or doubt yourself. And if you find yourself being wishy-washy, then maybe that's your answer because this is the type of decision you need to be positive about. We didn't originally intend to have 3, but I changed my mind and then got my husband on board and that was that. And knowing that my youngest had some apprehensions, I just made sure to include her in everything and gave her love and kisses at every opportunity.

Good luck with your decision!

i personally have a 3 yr old and we had another baby 7 months ago and since he was the only child he was babied too and to my surprise he took to his brother so well he too is really intrigued by little ones and seems to get along better with the younger children and has more interest in them than the oldest ones. granted that my oldest went and is still going through some weird adjusting he really enjoys his brother i think you know your children better than anyone and deep down you know what you really should do but from an outsider looking in the 3 yr old might enjoy having someone he can be a big brother to and "raise up" just remember that if you do decide to have another you gotta treat the 3 yr old like a 3 yr old and not expect him to be as grown up as the 5 yr old he will need you too but in a different way......ask god what he wants for your family......good luck with your family.....

Just the fact that you are aware of the fact that your youngest needs attention and love means that having a third will be just fine. Having three is a bit of a juggle at first because you only have 2 hands, but it works out. Your current youngest develops a newfound sense of responsibility as you include them in helping out, giving hugs, holding or even helping with the bottle if you do that sort of thing. Rather than becoming needier, ultimately, they develop greater independence and self confidence. There is nothing quite like the unconditional love of a baby to make a sibling feel loved. All you need to do, which I'm sure you would anyway because you are aware, is to include your other children.

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Just the fact that you are aware of the fact that your youngest needs attention and love means that having a third will be just fine. Having three is a bit of a juggle at first because you only have 2 hands, but it works out. Your current youngest develops a newfound sense of responsibility as you include them in helping out, giving hugs, holding or even helping with the bottle if you do that sort of thing. Rather than becoming needier, ultimately, they develop greater independence and self confidence. There is nothing quite like the unconditional love of a baby to make a sibling feel loved. All you need to do, which I'm sure you would anyway because you are aware, is to include your other children.

we have three and I love it... so does my middle boy! how do you decide... when two just doesn't keep you busy enough, hahaha! seriously I have three boys and love it, but you have to make that decision yourself/yourselves. a lot of people are afraid to have more than two but really it's not their decision. I can't believe that " youngest child" thing someone told you, how rude!!! and where is it written that you can only have two kids? just crazy, have 10 kids (just not at one time) if that is what you want and you have the means and energy to take care of them.

the more the merrier!

i went back and forth on this question. I was like you sometimes i really wanted another one and sometimes is didn't. But i am currently pregnant with my third and sooo excited! I'm so glad we made the choice to have more. I think i would have really regretted it if i had stayed with only 2. I've even gotten my husband thinking about a 4th even though he has always held a 2 only opinion! We love our family and we love our kids! You need to do what is best for you and your family. Oh and i fimly believe in the importance and value of siblings. They can only make you better and stronger people. Never underestimate their value. Not only when they are kids but also as adults. There have been things my family has gone through as adults that I am so grateful i had my sister and brother. I would never have wanted to go through that by myself.

I regret not having a 3rd ! I have never heard of anybody going back and saying " I wish I would not have had this third child ", but have heard plenty say that they wish they would have had a third ! The fact that you are even considering it, is a sign that you are not done !!!! Go for it, and God Bless !

Now this sounds familiar! :) I have two boys too, 6 and 4.5 and I am will be having baby boy #3 ANY day now. We were content with two boys (I always wanted two boys, lucky me!) but a couple years ago I started to get the itch real bad and so we got a dog...helped for a little bit. Then it came back. My husband wasn't on board with it so time went on and my itch got stronger and stronger! One day husband came to me and said You know what I want to have another baby and we talked about it and decided to start trying the next month...but little did we know we were already pregnant! We just had to be on the same page for 5 minutes and boom, baby coming! I had the same concerns you do with the baby boy in the family but he is really excited to be a big brother and he feels pretty special he gets to be a little and big brother! He has many plans of what he is going to teach him and do with him which is cute. Funny thing is both of my boys wanted a girl! But are very excited a little brother....but now they are asking when are they going to get a sister...oh brother! Now husband wants to "even things out" and have number four shortly after! Ugh! we'll see! I come from a familly of four and i am #2 and my sister (#3) and I are as close as you can get and honestly I never felt like I lost anything like attention or my baby of the family status at all. I just rolled with it and had a great childhood.
The bottom line is if you have the itch bad enough and your husband is even just somewhat on board...it is most likely going to happen sooner or later :)

Seriously, they say your baby is meant to be your baby??? Well, yes, until you have another one! It makes me laugh! We got some kind of rude comments when we decided to try for #3 as well. I think most people are intimited by having 3 children...at 2 you are evenly matched with one adult per child, but at 3 you are out numbered! I can only tell you from my experience and my own research before having #3...3 makes it hard at amusement parks where each ride holds 2 people...there is always an odd ball out. 3 is a handful and no matter what the ages of your kids, 3 means you are starting over again...I'm assuming your 3 year old is potty trained, starting to listen pretty good, has a little freedom around the house, etc. Well, with a new baby, that over again. You are back to having to watch everything all the time. However, having a #3 with some older kids is so fun. I now have a 10, 8, and 2 year old. My 10 year old is a really good helper and my 8 year old loves to play with the 2 year old. The 2 year old grew up kind of fast b/c he had to keep up with his older siblings, so he's very independant. No one can answer this question for you, but it's fun. It's also challenging...it was hard on me to have 2 in school (have to be up by 6:30AM) and have a baby to get ready in the morning, but that was a season. Now he's 2 and he's usually up when we have to get the big kids to school. It's hard to keep a nap in place because the older ones don't need one, but then again, that gives us some one on one time. Pray about it and make the decision that is right for your family, regardless of what others say.

I know that is hard not to let other people influence your decision, but if you and your husband feel in your heart of hearts that you are meant to have another child, then so be it. I don't know your family's situation and what your 3 year old is going through, but this is truly only a decision that you and your husband can make.

That advice is ridiculous. Go for #3.

I have an 8yo and a 1 yo, hubby and I had a long talk and we decided we would try for #3 next year (Yayyyyyyyyyyy I'm so happy he wants to try I was so scared of bringing it up). We love each other so much and love our children sooo much that we just realized what a blessing it would be have a bigger family! we have always loved children even before having our own or even getting married.

Now when I made the mistake of telling my mom of the great news she was shocked and really agaisnt it; I felt so hurt, why wouldn't she want for her daughter the joy of having another child? anyways, I just stopped telling anyone about our decision and I'm so unbelievably happy keeping the secret just for the two of us (except you mammas! LOL)
It's our special little secret ! we will only announce to our family when we are already pregnant(maybe next year).

Long story to tell you, Go for it! if you have a loving family and want to add a little one who will be loved and cared for then I don't see any problem. Don't listen to other people just go with your heart, in fact the things I regret most in life are those times when I did not follow my heart,
by the way I only have one sister which I love so much, but I would have loved to have more siblings growing up.
Good luck and God bless,

Have three and feel complete! I'd love to adopt but not be pregnant again. We knew we wanted more than two, even though pregnancy left me dehydrated and hospitalized. The adjustment from two to three was harder than I expected. My last is nine months now, and things are getting easier. I think if you desire more and it's meant to be, it'll happen. Just pray about it and be at peace.

I don't think children are messed up because of siblings, whether they are the youngest, oldest, or in the middle (like me!). :) We made the decision to try for our third because we adore our children and just see our family as being a little bit bigger. My husband was fine with two until recently, when I mentioned I thought I might be over the "I want a baby" hump. Then he said he was finally at the point where he was ready for the third. So...we talked about it a few more times and are waiting to see what happens.

There are always days when you look at the children you already have and think, "I need a vacation from you!!" just like you might think that of your spouse. It does not mean you do not love them. You never know what you are going to get, but being ready to love and care for your little ones no matter what is all you need to worry about for now. If you are both interested in a third, you are probably more likely to regret not having one down the road. That is one more family member to cherish, one more sibling for your two children to confide in, another playmate, someone to blame things on, and someone to stand up for you in school. Just make sure you and your husband are happy and comfortable with whatever decision you make.