How Do I Tell My 5 Year Old That We're Getting Divorced?

I'm so sorry for your pain and loneliness in this struggle. I'm a therapist, so here goes my best shot and giving you guidance:
You obviously know this, as you are already doing it, but your first priority is protecting your son -- with discrete honesty. When I say "discrete," I mean that you do not have to fully disclose your hatred for his father, nor your reasons for hating him. But you do owe it to your son to be honest about how your husband's meanness hurts your feelings. You can also tell him that when Daddy breaks a promise to him or says something mean to him, he can tell you about how that makes him feel and you will be there with him. You've got an opportunity here to teach your son that we cannot make other people behave differently (we would if we could, but we can't), but that we CAN tell them how they are hurting us and we CAN find a safe place with the other people in our life.
You cannot spare your son the pain of having a lousy father. But you CAN teach him to be resilient, to recognize his own inner resources and to rely appropriately on outer resources (like your love). And if you are able to teach him these things, he will be a stronger person for it later -- not a damaged person like your husband seems to be.
One other thing: If you don't have a physical reason for not knowing how to ride a bicycle (and other things that "only" his dad can do), learn. Better yet, have your son teach you -- or have a friend teach the two of you together. You'll be demonstrating courage and determination in letting your son see that you're working on things that you don't yet know how to do well. That's also a vulnerability that all boys really need to have modeled for them.
A book recommendation (for anyone with a son, nephew, godson, husband, ex-husband, etc.): Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Lives of Boys.
I don't know if there are any play therapists in your area, but if your son starts to manifest behavioral issues (seems angry or sad all the time, for example) in spite of all that you are doing right, play therapy would be a VERY effective way to help him sort things out on his own cognitive and emotional level.
Good luck!

My parents divorced when I was five. I will be honest- I was just glad there was no more fighting and yelling after my father had gone. I still missed him, but I think I thrived much better in an environment were there was no negativity. Your son isn't going to understand a lot of what is going on- just keep it simple. Just tell him daddy won't be living at home anymore, but that you both still love him very much and that it's not his fault. Then, answer any questions he has after that. I hope your husband decides to take part in his life after you separate, but if not, know that you will have to be mom and dad. Some things may have to take a back burner so that your son gets the attention and comfort he needs during this time.

I have a 4 year old and same situatution. After the divorce, my ex became a better father. He was very angry and abusive to me.

Have faith, first get some professional help for yourself. You need someone to talk to.

Then try to disfuse any arguements with your ex, it's not good for you child to see you two fighting. The best way to disfuse a situation is to 1) just walk away. 2) if your ex accuses you of something, just look him in the eye and tell him this: What are you talking about? It works every time>leave with a question which will make your Ex think about what he is saying.

I tell my son that Daddy doesn't love me any more, he still loves you.

My son asked me the other day if I loved daddy.
I said yes, I still love daddy. Your children need to know that you can get along even though things at the moment are painful for you both and you can't agree.

Love and hate is a fine line. In the end, your son will see that you are the better parent for keeping your cool even when your Ex can't keep his. Never talk bad about your Ex to your son. A child needs both parents. I just learned to walk away from any arguements for the sake of my son.

Let your child see you as a loving person. Keep your son close to you and love him even more. and Pray for your Ex, he needs it.

You need to get your son a therapist/ counselor immediately! You have shared with your son, but he has seen/heard more than is appropriate. He needs a safe place to share his feelings and talk about what is going on. Right now there is no way that you can be that safe place. You resent your husband and it will show no matter how much you try to hide it when talking to your son.
I am sorry for the situation you and your son are in. I was 11 and my brother was 5 when my parents divorced. It was difficult and my parents didn't fight at all that I knew of. I wish that I had been taken to a therapist to sort out my feelings. I blamed myself for years. But at the time, I didn't mourn the family change, I tried to take care of my mother and younger brother instead. I hate to admit that even now I still have unresolved issues from the divorce.
You are in a tough situation, and I wish you the best.

My sister in law went through this several years ago and wrote a wonderful childrens book to help explain divorce to her children. It is called Divorced Together for the sake of the children. I highly recommend it! Here is her wedsite http://kristischwartzbooks.com/Kristi_Schwartz_Books/Welc...
You can also get the book through borders or amazon.
My heart goes out to you. There is no easy or good way to explain this!
Blessings, K.

Go to www.divorcecare.com to find a group near you. They also offer it for kids and its free

This is very, very easy.

1) don't fight, yell, criticize in front of your son. wait until he's out of the house. not just asleep, out of the house.
2) get him in play therapy ASAP
3) move out
4) file for divorce

I have a 5 year old and my divorce was final 2 months ago, so I know what I'm talking about here. The two of you have really put this kid through the ringer. the only way you can right your wrongs is by getting him some serious help and play therapy can really help with all of that. It also sounds like you guys need some parenting classes in order to arm yourself with some good advice on how to help your son through the next year or so.

It will be hard, but with hard work and good co-parenting, you can make this easier on your son instead of harder.

Good luck!