How Do I Get a 5 Year to Stop Acting like He's Grown?

You don't say why you are in this position - of practically raising your nephew.

Personally, I don't find being disrespectful, having an attitude, talking like he owns the place, talking back (just being disrespectful in general) is 'acting like he's grown' or an adult.

He sounds like he is craving attention from his parents - and I am guessing there is some kind of turmoil going on in his life.

Kids act out when there is not enough consistency and structure, attention and love in their lives. They can if there is divorce, upset, etc. They can for other reasons, also, and sometimes it is just a phase, or testing limits.

If you are babysitting - then you can just enlist his parents' backup - withhold treats, TV, rewards (whatever reward system there is - playing outside, going to park, reading stories, etc.) until he behaves. Reward good behavior, ignore the bad. That kind of thing.

J., Welcome to mamapedia.

It's not your place to correct him. You shouldn't be expected to raise him either. That's his parents job.

If he's disrespecting his mother? SHE needs to correct him and put the boundaries out.
IF he hits you? You have the right to defend yourself. If that means hitting him back and planting him on his keester? SO be it. That is ONE way he will learn to respect you. He will learn that you don't take his BS and will put him in his place.

Sounds like he needs counseling and his parents need parenting classes.

It is NOT your job to "raise" him. You are still a child yourself.

It can be difficult for a 14 yr old and 5 yr old to get along.
You are going to have to work on developing some patience.
You both have opportunities for some positive growth from your interactions with each other.
One weeks worth of being difficult doesn't mean his behavior is etched in stone yet.
Going crazy isn't good - it means he's provoked a response from you - in a sense it means he wins.
(It's a 'made you look' thing and of course it's childish - he's a child.)
When he's good - praise him for it.
When he's not - either ignore him or tell him you are disappointed with his behavior.
You tell him that you always love him but you don't always love his choices.
If he's hitting you - you hold his hands and tell him to stop - you can't allow him to hurt you.

If you are baby sitting him - read to/with him.
Find stories that are interesting to him and read read read.
Turn off all the electronics (tv, phone, devices, computers, tablets, radio, games, etc).
He's picking up behaviors from somewhere - at least while he's with you make sure he's not watching things that gives him ideas about being a smart mouthed brat.

It's a shame his parents do not appear to be that involved with him but you can't do anything about that.

I understand that you feel that you are practically raising your nephew. But the reality is that you are not his parent and, he is never going to see you as his parent. I have 2 kids, and my younger frequently tells his older brother "you are not the boss of me". This is basically what your nephew is saying to you.

If you are truly in a position of authority with him (you are babysitting him on a regular basis), then his parents need to tell him that you are the boss when they are not around. And if he still refuses to listen to you, then his parents have to discipline him. If they don't or won't do this, then unfortunately, there is little that you can do. You can be his aunt and his friend and you can and should still love him, but you can't fill in for his parents.

oh wow, i just responded to your other question. this one does at least give a little more pertinent information.

but my answer remains the same. i don't know what 'practically raising' actually means but it's clear you are not his parent or guardian.

have his parents shared their parenting philosophy with you and given you specific information and tools with which to handle incidents? if that's the case, do what THEY say, not what strangers on the internet would do.

if they haven't, button your lip. demonstrate courtesy but stop bossing him around. it's just not your place.

good for you for acknowledging frankly that you don't have the patience to deal appropriately with a 5 year old, who does not have the wisdom, experience or social skills of an adult. you don't know how to interact with him properly, so stop trying.
khairete
S.

His mom needs to give him consequences. You too. His mom needs to tell him you are in charge and are his babysitter and he must listen to you. It's not fun. He will be mad at you when he doesn't get his way. My son was an insanely smart 5 year old with attitude and he did not like it when he didn't get his way. He was impossible. Maturity helps a lot. I think finally in 5th/6th grade he started being much more mature about things. We were very calm with him when he was being bad...but we did give him consequences. He knew beforehand that we expected certain things from him and if he did not do what was asked he would get x as a consequence. These are things like shower/bathe, hang up his coat, come to dinner, get off the ipad, do homework, get ready for school...just normal things. He still would be stubborn and refuse to do things and then get in trouble and be upset. He had to go to his room to cool off (he'd yell up there and try to make everyone miserable). We never gave in. Later we would talk about it and he would usually apologize. He told me later when he was older that he just wanted his way and at the time he felt like he would rather DIE than give in to us and let us "win". I had him see a therapist once a week who specializes in kids and behavior and he saw her off and on 4th and 5th grade. It helped a lot...maybe hearing things from an adult who is not a family member helps. She first worked on being friends/bonding. then she taught him that he has to take responsibility for himself. She taught him to recognize when he is feeling mad or frustrated and what the proper way to behave. He just has an EXTRA stubborn personality which runs in my husband's family. He is much more mature and reasonable as a teen. Another thing...my son was so angry at me and so impossible that it made it hard to feel close to him. She had us work on becoming close again...his idea at that time was he wanted to teach me how to play one video game a week and I would play with him. This worked. We had fun together. He started enjoying sharing things with me. We laughed together. Then it made it so he was less angry at me when he was mad. Also, she had me back off on certain things. Just let him decide and let some things slide instead of fighting him on it. She worked on getting him to make the decision to do the right thing. All this took time. And I think he really was not mature enough to deal with his frustrations till he got older as well. (By consequences I mean things like no ipad/TV/computer for the rest of the day, or go to his room for an hour, or no friend can come over, etc.). Good luck. These things take time. Some kids are much harder than others. PS - I found that no electronics at all means much better behaved kids. Can you do this when you watch him? Just be consistent. Reward/praise the good. Give consequences for the bad. Don't forget to have fun with him and to praise him when he is good.