I have a son that is almost 3, and he is so hard to get to sleep at night. Once he is asleep he wakes up twice during the night wanting to get in our bed. I have been doing the nanny 911 thing for the past week and putting him in bed and walking back out repeatedly without talking, then after he wears out some he wants me to lay with him so I lay beside facing the other way and not talking until he goes to sleep. Naptimes at my house are way more difficult and it takes me at least an hour and a half to get him to sleep, whereas at daycare they don't have a problem and he sleeps longer there. How can I make going to sleep easier for both of us?
Thank you all for your responses! I am glad that I have joined this website! I ended up with a reward system. If my son gets in bed and stays in bed all through the night then he gets 2 prizes in the morning. If he gets out of bed before ever going to sleep repeatedly then I shut the door, he cries a little bit, but he knows I mean business. So, this has really worked the past week. And as far as the naps, I am doing it the same way because I tried just letting him watch a movie for quiet time and he ends up so tired by 5 in the evening he is unbearable. Again, thanks for caring!
Have you tried gradually weaning him of your presence at night? Falling asleep with you next to him in his bed is not much different than falling asleep with you in your bed.
You can start by putting him (back)in bed and sitting next to his bed, over the course of a week move your chair closer to the door and then out of sight.
Sounds like he is reacting to the new changes at home.
At that age, I laid down with my children until they fell asleep. With my son, I usually sang a few of his favorite songs, and he usually would fall asleep fairly quickly. My goal was not nighttime independence at an early age, but pleasant experiences associated with bedtime. When he woke up, he usually joined us in our bed. That was fine, too. He gradually outgrew it and now sleeps alone.
A. :)
I know you will think I am crazy when I say this but from my own experience, your child may be growing out of his naps. My DD is 3.5 years old and no longer takes naps. It was more of a fight to get her to take a nap. I stopped them when she was almost 3 years old and life is so much easier. When she is tired I make her "rest" on the couch. It may be that he is not tired. At daycare he has so much going on around him that he is worn out and needs the nap. Try one day to take away the nap and see how he does. It may mean putting him to bed a little earlier though.
As for bedtime, you are doing right by bringing him back to bed without talking. He his still coming to get you though b/c he knows that you are going to stay with him until he falls asleep. I think that he has changed his crutch to you being there until he falls asleep. I suggest (I know it is never easy) that when you bring him back to bed you just kiss him goodnight, tell him that it is time to sleep (he is old enough that he understands you) and then leave the room. That way he learns to fall asleep by himself and that he doesn't need you to be right there.
I can relate to your situation. Remember that you are his mother and that only you know what is right for your child. Don't get overwhelmed with what your child is "supposed" to do. Follow your heart and only fix what you think needs to be fixed.
We are going through the same thing right now with our 2-yr-old. One thing that my husband actually thought of and has helped us endure and progress a little is: I read my book with an "itty bitty book light" sitting on the floor of his room.
We do the routine, teeth, books, songs, then lights out. I sit with my back to him and rarely talk, and he talks about his day and winds himself down then eventually falls asleep. We found that he wanted to sit on our laps if were in the rocking chair. For some reason, the floor works AND we as adults are getting some benefit of the silent time via reading. Hope this helps!
The only thing that worked for us was to create a routine. Every night we would have the lights low towards bedtime. I would give my daughter a bath, put on warm pajamas, read a story, and then play music (either lullaby cd or musicbox). If we follow that routine, we get no fights at bedtime. I also let my daughter pick out which book she wants to read and so she looks forward to going to bed.
Have you considered telling him, he doesn't have to go to sleep (at naptime) but he has to stay on his bed and play quietly. Don't let him lay on the couch and watch TV for quiet time. My dd looks at books and plays with magnet books for 2 hours, if she falls asleep great if not-she goes to bed so much more quickly and easily at bedtime. God Bless!
I would agree with Amy. I think your son is outgrowing his naps. Letting go of naps is hard because you can usually get so much done while the little one sleeps.
I must agree also with not lying in the bed with him to get him back to sleep at night. I had a friend who could never go out in the evening because her girls couldn't go to sleep without her. She was still lying with them when they were 10 and 8. You don't want that. It took her going into hospital for about a week to break the habit - bit drastic don't you think.
Keep taking him back to bed - it is hard, but we've all been there but you will get through it. Good Luck!
