Very Tired 3 1/4 Yr. Old Won't Nap--Out of Ideas

Early bedtime. If she does not nap she has to go to bed earlier. I use that with my son. He's giving up his nap and that's ok but he has to go down earlier

My son (turned 4 in Jan) went through this last summer. For a while there it was IMPOSSIBLE to make him nap and he was so difficult to be around starting around 4pm. Additionally, he stopped sleeping well at night (probably because he was overly tired).

Anyway. Finally I just stopped negotiating with him. I realized that I was the mom and I could make the rule. He could decide not to sleep, but I wasn't going to encourage that by giving him other things to do during that time. I hung "black our" curtains in his windows (the frame shape keeps them from blocking ALL the light, but it IS a huge help) then stuck to the schedule he's on at school. Lunch... quiet play... nap. I closed the blinds, helped into bed and turned off the lights. I told him he could lay there awake if he wanted, but he could not have toys in bed or get out of bed.

Sometimes he would be in there singing or talking for an hour before he got quiet and fell asleep, but he always fell asleep eventually. Regardless, i woke him at the end of "nap time."

He's four now, and I still do this with him. Even if he says he isn't tired, he has to lay in the dark room. He always goes to sleep and is SOOOOO much nicer and better behaved in the afternoon.

Hope this helps.
T.

Sounds like she's afraid she's going to miss something fun going on at home. At school, all the lights are down and everybody is resting. When my son was about 5 I had to stop calling it a "nap", because "naps are for babies." I started calling it a power rest and then explained that he would lay down for only 1 hour and recharge his body (like some of his toys needed) so he could have even more fun in the afternoon. Sometimes I woke him after an hour, sometimes I let him sleep if he needed to, or I needed him to. Maybe you can call it her "princess sleep" or "beauty rest". I'm a mom of a boy... sorry, not much in the way of creative names.

Best of luck, I know you need her to nap. They're such bears without that sleep. Oh, also, when my son chose not to nap, bedtime was much earlier.
S.

All I can say is...I'm so sorry! I hate it when they start giving up their naps. My daughter has been trying to give hers up starting around 3.5 months. I hated it because she is a child that needs a lot of sleep or can't function. Days where she would skip a nap would get pretty scary around 5:30 or 6:00...of course she would go to bed earlier. However, about a month or two ago (she is 4 in May) she totally gave up her nap. I could just tell that she was no longer going to take one. It was really hard at first for both of us. As she has adjusted she is able to handle herself a little better (not get so delirious or throw as many tantrums). Like your daughter, she would not do quiet time. Now, this is what I do...I set up a car portable DVD player in her room and she can watch one movie of her choice. I know what you are thinking moms! But, this is the only TV time she gets other than an occasional Clifford here and there. So anyway, it is the best for both worlds (or all 3 worlds in my case) because my daughter gets good down time, I get to relax, contemplate and recharge for the rest of the afternoon, and my son gets to nap in peace and quiet. I do not leave the DVD player in her room and afternoon naptime is the only tiime I set it up for a movie. If you are out of options, that may help. I know you and your husband need to recharge on the weekends. Good luck! I dreaded the end of naptimes :-)

hi my name is T. and I have a 14 month old. My daughter usually takes short 15 min. Naps when she is overtired and sleeps for 2 to3 hrs when it seems like she is not so tired. I'm not sure if this will help ur daughter sleep any better but maybe you can try less activity in the a.m. =) hope it helps, T.

My daughter is not quite 3 and has been going through this off and on for the past few weeks. I just make her go to bed for her nap time. I tell her she can not come out until nap time is over. After a few days she went back to napping but we have to leave her light on for her. Not sure what the light is about but I'll do it if she'll sleep. She makes us do it at night too. Just be patient and persistent. If she really won't go back to napping, I would move bedtime up.

I have music she listens to at nap and bed time and she is not allowed to get up before the music shuts off. most times she is asleep about half way through the cd. I have found that if I am napping with her, I cannot fall asleep before she does or she never sleeps... Good luck
R.

My almost 3 year old son just dropped his nap - so his bedtime is now 6:00pm instead of 7:00pm and he is OUT at 6:00! I consulted with a sleep expert and these are some things she told me. At that age, they still need about 12 hrs sleep/day. My son does have one hour of 'quiet time' (QT). What I would suggest is that you try and tell her that it's QT and she needs to stay in her room, lay on her bed, rest, read books or whatever but that she cannot come out of her room until an hour has passed (also, she said noTV - too stimulating). She might not like it at first but my son got used to it and now just reads his books in his bed. He initially would keep coming out of his room and I would just take him back until after a few days he 'got it' that I wasn't budging! :) They do get used to it and they REALLY need that "down time." It's amazing how many parents think that as children get older that they need less sleep? They are MORE active and still need lots of sleep. Good luck! :)

Some kids just won't nap no matter how tired they are and many give up naps by 3 years old. Punishing her will not help - she can't help it and she's probably at the transition phase where she still needs it but her body won't let her nap. Does she really nap in school or just lay quietly? Have you tried a Disney Movie or Video for quiet time? I know many parents are against TV and Videos but I found it helps with certain situations. If she's watching a video she will be resting and maybe even fall asleep. My son gave up naps at 2 years old. Once in a while he'd have a nap but it had to be early in the day or he wouldn't go to sleep at night. He was tired at first but finally got to where he could make it all day without being cranky.

Hope this helps...

with my daughter, i had to give up trying to get her to sleep, but rather give her the opportunity, so I would let her play with any toy she chose, but she had to be in her bed. I put a digital timer on & let her know that when it beeps, then she can get up. She would usually fall asleep & get about 45minutes before timer went off.

My son, he falls asleep in about 5-10 if I get him to read a book with me. I read in a very monotone voice and I almost kinda whisper. Each kid is different. Best of luck to you.

My 3 1/2 year old son has been going through the same thing! I have explained to him that whiny, kranky, crying behavior is a sign that he needs a nap and I alert him when I am seeing it. He is home with me all day though, so I have the option of skipping nap some days and not others.

Also, an EARLY (like 6 - 6:30) is crucial. I've realized it's not that he doesn't need the sleep anymore, but that it has reorganized. When he doesn't nap he sleeps 12-13 hours at night. I have also explained to him that no nap days mean early bedtime, so there is no fussing or stalling at bedtime.

Finally, try lying down with her. ("Quiet time never worked for us either. He would never fall asleep or even stay still.) I find that lying down for 20 minutes with my son helps me calm down as much as him and some days we both desperately need it. I insist that my son keep still and keep his eyes closed. Nine times out of ten he is asleep in the first 10 minutes.

Good luck!

My almost 4 yr old goes to bed at 6:30 every night. EARLY bedtimes are key! If he happens to doze off during the day, then he gets to stay up until 7:30, but that's pretty rare. Put her to bed super early, maybe even 6 for a few weeks and she'll start to feel better. I know it sounds crazy, but kids really need a lot of sleep!

Would she watch a movie? That might be 90 minutes of rest..on the couch or in her bed...

Ugh, my son fights naps too, although I don't think he needs them as much as your daughter does. Here are some of the things that have worked for us in the past that you haven't mentioned:

* Drive him around in the car. If he's tired, he usually falls asleep.

* Lay down with him on our bed. This worked for a little while. Not an ideal solution, but better than nothing.

Will she do quiet time if you just put on a movie? I'm pregnant right now and *I* need to nap in the day. So now I just put on a movie and curl up on the couch by my son while he watches. It's usually good for at least an hour. Again, not an ideal solution, but I do whatever I can to get by.

The other thing I'd say is to make sure she knows there's a correlation between her bedtime and whether she naps. If she doesn't nap, she has to go to bed earlier.

Good luck!

It will get better, really. Just put her to bed really early (6pm). I remember when my daughter gave up her nap, she would fall asleep in her soup, literally. Once she sat down to dinner, she would take a few bites and then lay her head down. You will have to adjust your meal times and bedtimes for a while, like months, but it will free up your days and make them less frustrating if you just stop trying. Now you and your family can enjoy the weekends without having to interrupt your day for naps! My older one never napped at school, so it was a bit easier for her to have a routine, albeit an early-to-bed routine. My younger one naps at school, but not at home. She is really, really tired at bedtime, but once she fought the nap, I was glad to see it go and I did not want to spend my afternoons fighting with her, so we just let it go.