Hitting- Help!

I(t's time to make her earn all good things other than food, bed and basic clothes. Hitting you is absolutely against all rules. No treats, TV or anything she enjoys on a day she has done this. If you still have problems, extend it to 2 days. Remove everything from her room that she could entertain herself with. She must earn the good things. When she starts throwing things that's time for her to go to bed because your "DR" told you she does this because she's overly tired. Early bedtime on any bad day. You are the boss and must insist she do as you say even if you have to put her back in the bed 20 times. You must be totally consistent . V.

Hi B.,
Boy, I feel for you. Dealing with this will drive a mom to drink..or jump out a window. Both of which I hope you avoid!!! There is something you can do...and it is not a behavior technique, because consequences and behavior are not linking in her brain correctly - which is why you know you are talking to a brick wall.
Healing the Childhood Epidemics (Bock, M.D.) and The Sensory Sensitive Child books may be a great consideration.
Next, I would highly recommend you begin getting to the root. Behavior issues like this type of impulsivity and caulousness are often because the childs body is not in working order. Food allergies/sensitivities and yeast/bacteria overgrowth are huge culprits. Eliminating casein and then gluten completely from her diet just might change your life. Then, you would need to start some testing (IGG, Stool sample for yeast and clostridia). Dr. J. Buckley is local, but has a big waiting list. If you are ready to get the gloves on and make a difference in your life in hers, send me a note and I will make some other recommendations. Best of luck, J.

Cut out TV altogether. I found that my third daughter's behavior was altered negatively after watching television. Yes--it was just children's tv but it still effected her negatively.
Also look at her diet. My same daughter had more tantrums when her blood sugar was low.
Be sure to read to her as often in place of tv. Even the negative behavior gets them the attention they want.
Good Luck!

B., it would be easier for me to direct you to the book/website. It's called Love and Logic. It's a wonderful way to parent! www.loveandlogic.com. It's an easy read. Anyway, less words, more action and with great empathy! (no spanking, yelling, or anything like that) Following is a neat article (you'll want to get the book or the CDs, whichever is easier for you to read it...some of theirs are pure comedy, but oh so enlightening)

http://www.loveandlogic.com/pages/aggressivetoddlers.html

Mother of 4

After 3 kids in GA can be evaluated by the state for special needs. My son is a hitter too... his stems from being a very late talker and he is still behind but improving daily. We as parents might not have all the knowledge it takes to make our kids turn out right... NO SHAME asking for help. Your preschool should be able to get you the number of who you need to call to get the process going. It will take forever, you will have 50+ pages of info to fill out, and you will get frustrated with the process... but it's all worth it.

BTW... I went this route when NOTHING worked to stop the hitting and other extremely bad behavior. Process takes forever, get started now. It will all work out in the end Good Luck.

When she pulled the glasses off the friends face, that should have been an instant time out and puzzle is done. Or even a good swat on the bottom. Both followed by the apology from her. You say you use 1 2 3, but what are you doing afterward?? She needs to go to time out once she gets counted to 3 and she needs to stay there for 4 min ( I say 4 since you said she is 3 1/2) and you need to make sure she stays there too. She is also old enough to understand grounding. You can take her cartoons away for the whole day, toys, going to the park, etc. And you as the mom, need to stand your ground otherwise she is going to run all over you, your friends, family and any care providers.

You also need to talk with her teacher to see what they do in the class room. If it is redirection, it doesn't work. It only teaches a child that they get to do something else after the wrong doing. Think about it, is a police officer going to redirect you with positive reinforcement instead of a $200 speeding ticket when you are doing 60 in a 30??? Nope but that is what you are doing when your daughter ripped and threw those glasses.

I've heard a lot of people recommend Love and Logic book. I've read 123 Magic and really like it.

Good luck and stand your ground!!
S.