Hitting Classmates

Updated on November 02, 2006
J.P. asks from Warrior, AL
5 answers

My little girl has always been so sweet and nice to everyone until recently. A couple weeks ago I got a letter sent home from her teacher in Pre K-4 saying that she had choked another child. So my husband and I talked to her about it and told that we weren't suppose to do that. Then two weeks ago I got a call at work from her teacher, she had choked a child and slapped another one in the face. So I spoke to her on the phone and told her she was in big trouble. Then I called my husband and went to the school and talked to her. when we got home she had to stand in the corner for a while and go to bed early. Then yesterday I go to pick her up and her teacher says that she has punched two separate kids and kicked another one. So this time we get home and we talk to her and I gave her a spanking. And we told her she would have to go to bed early for the rest of the week.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how we can stop this behavior? It is very upsetting.

Thanks Ladies

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T.

answers from Charlotte on

HI J. P
You said that this just started occuring a couple of weeks ago. Did anything happen at that time. Normally this type of behavior has to stem from somewhere. You said her father is in law enforcement. Has his schedule changed? It sounds as though she is looking for attention. She may think that when she did this,the spotlight so to speak is on her. Even though she gets put in the corner, she still has you and her fathers attention.

You do need to explain to her that this behavior will not be accepted. I agree that instead of going to bed early, that something she really likes is taken away, but you and your husband spend the evening doing something with her that explains this behavior is not acceptable. You may try coloring or drawing pictures. Let her draw her feelings. You may get a understanding as to what she is feeling. At 4, its hard for her to vocalize what she is feeling.

Hope this helps!

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C.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

This has to be a response to something. Why does she say that she hit these children? There may be a new athority figure in her life that is frustrating her or something. Or something happened that she can't deal with yet. It's hard for children to talk about this stuff, so try letting her draw a story board. Or have her use stuffed animals to act out a story. She is acting out for some reason.

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M.P.

answers from Huntsville on

I had this problem with my 3 year old a couple of months ago. He went from never being put in time out to hitting and kicking other kids for no reason. Keep up the talks and punishment consistently and remind her each morning before school what is not allowed (mine still reminds himself each morning before we go in - no hitting, kicking, etc) and add rewards for being good. We would promise candy or being allowed to watch a favorite video after school if his teacher told us he was good and would remind him constantly on the way to school and when he got there and were sure to tell the teacher of this reward so she could reinforce it as well. It took a week or two, but he eventually stopped and has been great ever since. Good luck, I know it's frustrating.

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R.B.

answers from Birmingham on

Explain in simple in terms that we she does that it not only hurts the other child but it makes everyone else sad (teacher, mom and dad, the other children etc.) Tell her that if someone did that her wouldn't that make her sad or hurt her. Instead of putting her in the corner or even sending her bed to early, try to take something away like a favorite video, activity, game or a special treat and tell her until she starts being a good friend she can not have it back that she has to earn it.

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K.T.

answers from Raleigh on

I agree with everything that has been said so far. Something may have happened in the past few weeks to upset her, or maybe she saw something on tv that taught her this.
You may want to make an appt with her doctor and see what their opinion is. If she is a very energetic child, it may be that she needs to be evaluated for ADHD. My daughter has a friend that the same thing happened. She just turned into a bully one day, and it didn't stop after that until she was tested and found to be ADHD. Once on meds, she has grown up to be a great kids and isn't in trouble anymore. She is now 13yrs old. I'm not saying this is what your daughter has, I can't do that with the information presented, but I do think you need to tell her doctor and let him/her help find out what is going on. It may be that something upset her and she need a therapist to work through it, or maybe she will just talk to the doctor. Sometimes kids are afraid to tell Mommy and Daddy, but can talk to doctor, etc better. Your doctor will be much more capable of helping with professional expertise.

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