Hello mamas,
I am at my wits end... and my back's breaking point. My 6 month old girl used to sleep well and was pretty well able to put herself to sleep. This was such a relief to me because my son (now 3) could never do this and we did a modified version of CIO with him that never worked and I am still feeling rather traumatized from.
Around 3 months, Avila started needing a little help going to sleep and since I didn't have time with my 3 year old and watching another baby, I did was came easiest - I rocked her. Now, at 6 months and 16 lbs, I just can't do it anymore. She is still mostly swaddled, sometimes with one arm out, and takes a paci. She sleeps in a pack n play in our room next to my side of the bed. I have tried a little bit of a lot of methods - nothing more consistent than about 4-5 days worth - changing gears only because things seem to be getting worse and I am back to rocking until she is totally asleep.
My most recent method has been this:
swaddle, paci, read a book, sing a song, rock for 100 counts, whisper, "sleepy time", and put her down in her bed. (Plus I nurse before night time bed) She usually wakes a little and I pat her tummy. She will be quiet for a moment and then spit her paci out and start shouting - and crying. I pick her up and try again, counting to 100 and put her down and pat. The only time I leave her in her bed is when I start getting frustrated and I walk out to the living room, jump and touch the ceiling, and go back. (weird I know, but I feel a little more relaxed!) After 4-5 times (15-20 minutes) I just give up and rock her to sleep. She needs the nap as I've noticed that she doesnt sleep as well at night when she skips a nap.
Like I said at the beginning, I am still upset from trying CIO with my son and even her crying with me right there gets to me. I thought I was a patient person, but it seems I was mistaken with my own kids!!
I wouldn't mind rocking her forever, but my back is not ok with this and I need to get back to my son and the other child I watch. Does anyone have any tips?? Do I need to stick with this through the times that it seems like it is getting worse?? Her first nap is usually the best and she goes down with very little fuss, but the last nap and night time are awful and I feel so discouraged!
Thanks =)
My first thought is that possibly, she is teething and needs the extra soothing for a while and will go back to being a better sleeper when that passes.
If not, check out The No-Cry Sleep Solution from Elizabeth Pantley. She has a lot of good tips to gently get a baby to fall asleep on her own without doing CIO.
How about placing her on her tummy?
Our daughter slept through the night, the moment we put her on her tummy.
She could lift her head and turn it while on her tummy, so the Pediatrician gave me the go ahead.
Also have you been feeling for teeth. Our daughters teeth started coming in pretty young.
My first question is did you buy a regular mattress for the pack and play, those mats are so uncomfortable!! I purchased portable crib mattresses for the pack and plays at my daycare and the children sleep so much better. Second, what we do verses CIO (even though I did it with my kids) is we will rub their backs, sing to them, pat their bum, but DO NOT pick them up. Even if they are crying, you are right there with them, so you are not harming them, you are teaching them to go to sleep. It works for us. It may take a little time, but eventually they will learn that they are not going to be rocked. Also, do you have a bedtime routine, bath, story, etc. I am a huge believer in bathing children every night, I think they sleep better when they are nice and clean, and also it relaxes them. And do the same, I have music boxes in all of my cribs and pack and plays at the daycare, and I used music with my own children. It is a nice distraction. Do the same at night, I know the crying will bother you, but remember you are not leaving them alone, you are there with them, they are fed, dry, and safe. It took me a long time to be able to do CIO with my daughter, I was sleep deprived for 1 year, she was up 3 to 4 times a night. Finally, I was so tired I did it, it worked, I had no issue with doing CIO and still don't, but it isn't for everyone, and I understand that. Good luck, I know how it feels to be sleep deprived.
Here are my first thoughts--
1. All children are not the same. Your baby is telling you what she needs, and you don't want to listen. You will not win that battle at this age. All she knows is that you are her comforter. When she needs you, she expects you to show up and make her feel secure.
2. You watch someone else's kid, too? This set-up is putting your children at risk because you are not capable right now of handling this load. I am concerned for you and the kids because you are feeling overwhelmed and can't meet all of their needs.
3. CIO doesn't work with your kids because they want to feel close with their mommy. Every kid does not respond positively to CIO. (Even when you achieve "success", that doesn't automatically mean that there is a positive result. Sometimes the baby just gives up because you've taught him/her that you won't be around when he/she needs you.) Not all kids need the same things. You are trying to force your kids to be what they are not, to follow a pattern that goes against their grain. If you continue to do that, you will all continue to be frustrated and frazzled...for years to come.
My suggested solution--stop watching the other kid and spend some time really getting to know what your kids want, what they respond to and need in order to feel secure. Things will be much smoother then. And you'll be in a better position to take care of somebody else.
I think it's the pack and play. My son is 7 months and usually sleeps in a crib. We went to visit a friends for 4 days and took the pack and play. He was constantly waking p. I don't think he slept for more than 1 1/2 at a time. WE ended up putting him in bed with us and he slept better. WE came home last night and he slept through the night in his crib. I think as they grow and get bigger, the pack and play just isn't comfortable.
Mine needs a blanket up by her face (bad mommy I know) and needs to be in her tummy. I have about 6 paci's in her crib and starting at about 6 months she'd find it and put them in herself. She had one toy with a light up belly that plays music she likes as well.
