The Crying It Out Method

I, personally, do not go along with the crying it out method. What I would do is look into some information on attachment parenting to see what some of the experts there suggest.

K.

well i have never been one for that. they have to be crying from teething or pain or because of gas or something try soothing until they fall asleep. I hummed to mine and bam out. Good Luck!

I was the same way with my daughter. I tried it for one night and although it was making me crazy I tried to let her cry for more than five minutes and she got herself so worked up that she started throwing up. I never tried crying it out again. It is doesn't feel right to you you absolutely do not have to let them cry it out. Other than that one night my daughter has never had to cry long. If she had a hard time falling asleep I would sit with her and rub her back or head until she was calm and relaxed enough to put herself to sleep. She is now 21 months and puts herself to sleep for nap and bed and I feel a lot more comfortable with the route we took to get to this point. Good luck with whatever you decide to do

I don't know if this meshes with your method, but I've found that if we follow a short routine - one book, one song, one kiss, a binky, and turn on some soft music - my 5-month old will go right to sleep. On a bad day he'll fuss - not cry - for maybe 10 minutes. He's gotten to where he knows what's coming next and will wait for it to happen. As long as we follow this routine he's a happy camper; if not, we'd better watch out! Anyway, I hope that's somewhat helpful. We've done it since he was about 2 months old and he took to it right away. Good luck! :)

The first time I used the cry it out method my daughter cried for just under an hour. It was the longest, hardest hour of my life! I had to keep reminding myself that it was in her best interest to learn to comfort/calm herself and that it's my JOB as her parent to teach her this. The next time, she only cried for about half an hour. Again, a very tough 30 minutes. I stuck to my guns, though, and the next night she only cried for about 15 minutes. That was 6 months ago, she's just over a year old now. Currently, fifteen minutes is about her limit of crying before she dozes off and it's rare that cries at all any more. It was very difficult for me because no one wants their baby to cry for any amount of time, but again, it's not about me or even you, it's about what's best for the child. Just keep reminding yourself of this and hang tough! It will get better!

I did this as well with my son when he was younger. It took about two weeks before he finally got it. I would put him down for bed/nap and he would start crying. I then would leave the room and I had the baby monitors on low in whatever room I was in so I could still hear him. After about 15 min or so I would crack the door to see if he was still laying down, sitting up etc... If he was laying down then I would leave him, if he was sitting up I would make sure he has his pacifier, blanket, no dirty diaper etc... and then lay him back down. Now my son is almost 16 months old and he is the best sleeper ever. At home when it is bed time I lay him down and tuck him in and he just goes to sleep. He also sleeps at other peoples houses in the pack and play really well. So it will be frustrating at first but you just have to be consistent and don't give in. They will eventually get the picture. As long as the baby is in no danger and everything is alright ( diaper, feeding etc...) I see no problem with letting your baby cry it out. Hope this helps.

We started the "cry it out" method when our daughter was 11 months old and it worked wonders. Of course, we coupled the method with a very good bedtime routine of bath, books, and rocking until sleepy (didn't take long after reading). We started with 5 minutes of crying and then comfort with a pat on the back and say something short and sweet for comfort as well; I usually said "I love you, sweetie. It's okay. Go night night." Then we'd wait 10 minutes, do the exact same thing and say the same thing. We would rarely have to get to 15 minutes before she was out for the night. It only took 3-4 nights of this routine and now she only cries occasionally for less than 5 minutes. I was a wreck the entire time we were implementing this method, but I had my husband there to step-in and help and be an emotional support for me. I hope it works for you! Good luck.

http://naturalchild.org/guest/pinky_mckay.html

Here's an article on CIO.

It was the hardest and longest 40 minutes of my entire life that first night. I was on the phone with my mom the entire time getting support. The next night, it was about 20 minutes (and yes I called her again). The next, five or so minutes. The fourth night, barely a wimper. As long as you go in to check on him so he knows you aren't abandoning him, you both will be fine. Long-term psychological issues? Not with my boy! He knows he can count on me when he needs me. (And now he knows he doesn't need me to get to sleep.) I believe I gave my son the gift of self-reliance, as it would be impossible for me to be there for each and every second for every step of his entire life. He needs to learn to get to sleep alone at that age so he isn't in my bedroom at four or five years because he can't get to - or back to - sleep. Everyone wakes during the night, but he learned to get himself back to sleep without me needing to go back in anymore. Pray about it. You know your son better than anybody. Good luck and God Bless!

He is only 6 months old...enjoy him while you can. I know all too well how working and having a baby up in the night is hard. I have and am living it. I personally feel that this time goes by way to quick to not take advantage of every moment you can to cuddle and comfort them, especially if you work. Although I get very tired, I love my middle of the night time with my daughter. I don't encourage it, but if she is upset, she needs me and I spend that time with her. We usually go to the couch and both go to sleep there for a while, then I put her back in her bed and all is well.

Ultimately the decision is yours, and only you can judge what is best for you and your child. I have 3 much older children and can tell you from experience that this time goes by way to fast to miss any of it.

Good Luck

First of all, if you 'give in' at any time, he will learn that persistance pays. The longer you wait to teach them to soothe themselves to sleep, the longer it takes for them the learn it. We ran out of bedrooms when I had child #4 so my son was in our room for a year before I moved him (big mistake). I didn't want him waking my husband so I would nurse him whenever he made a sound, "Big Mistake". He learned to need me through the night so when I moved him into my daughter's room, I tried not to go get him with every whine and it was hard. Finally, I moved my daughter out and let him LEARN TO SOOTHE HIMSELF TO SLEEP. Which meant, he had to CRY IT OUT. I don't like to hear constant crying so it was hard for me so I had to get earplugs and put the soundspa near my bed to drowned it out too. My husband didn't mind hearing the cries (across the hall) so he could still listen in case the cries changed (you know in case there was another problem). With a 1 yr old, it took probably 10 days or so. I'm so weak, if I didn't have earplugs I would probably have gone and picked him up and nursed him and then the cycle would have to start all over again. He is now 16 months old and a great sleeper. He and my daughter are in the same room. He in the crib and my 3 yr old daughter in the bed. We can even put them down at the same time and they fall asleep easy.

The key to those first time Moms out there is to always put the babies down AWAKE. Even if they nurse themselves to sleep. I would still either change a diaper or hold them up and say goodnight and then lay them down. They need to learn to do it themselves. Basically, if you rock them to sleep, they will always need to be rocked to sleep - even if they wake in the middle of the night.

I was much better with my first three. But they went to their own room at around 8 weeks too. Good Luck!

If you give in, it will take years. Do a routine for bedtime - bat, story, kisses, bed. Even at this young age. then try every 5 min. Go in hush and leave. It could take 30 - 45 the first few times. I know it is hard. Read a book or do something else you enjoy. Do this for naps too. After 1 - 3 days it will get shorted and easier. I know it's hard. With my first, my husband was on the road in the evenings and I was on my own. I would call him crying. With my second one, I had to go in every 10 minute because he could cry for an hour - he got too much stimulation when I came in. now I have a 4 and 1 yr old who sleep through the night. If they wake up at night they an roll over and put themselves back to sleep. At bed time, I put them in bed and still check every 5 - 10 minutes but they go right to sleep. Trust me - it is worth the couple of days of crying to get a llifetime of peace! Good luck!

If you are letting him cry and then giving in, you are making it harder on both of you in the long run. When I did it with my son it took 3 nights, the first night was terrible, the second night was a lot better, and the third night was a few minutes and that was it. However, if you make him cry for a while and then go get him, it teaches him that as long as he doesn't give up then eventually you will. You are actually training him to cry longer, because he knows if he can just keep it up you will eventually come get him. I know it is SO hard and heartbreaking to just listen to your baby cry without fixing everything for them, but if you can really stick with it it will be so worth it. Good luck!

Hi T., well I never used the cry it out method I could never stand the sound of my lil man's crying known they just wanted me near. And still to this day my oldest never ever has or still never comes to my room after waking up to get back to sleep. I started a little later when they was going on two on just going in and reading a bed time story and pat my lil guys back tell he is asleep. I keep a dime lit on for them which is out side there door so if they wake up they are not in complete darkness. My lil one at 28mths still wakes once in awhile but gettin him a drink and takin him back to bed w/ a patt always works. They are so use to being near mom hearing moms voice even b4 entering the world to sooth them. But what you decide to do is up to you and hope it does not take to long to for baby to figure it out for you, peacful sleep and good luck.

T., isn't that the hardest thing. Tears your heart out. My little girl is four and we have had different stages were bed time just hasn't been fun. On the whole she goes to bed great and we are truly blessed. But, there have been many days were it has been an uphill battle when it's time for bed. You just wait until he can talk. Then you'll start hearing all the excusses, try not to laugh when he comes out 10 seconds after you walked out of the room to say "I tried to sleep but, I just can't." Such treasures they are. Ok...so here are a few tid bits that I've notices with my girl. Keep the routine the same as much as possible. If your bedtime routine is to read a book and sing a song before tucking him in then do your best to stick to it every night. I've noticed when that little bit of cuddle time is missing then my girl doesn't want to sleep. Also, it could be that it is brighter longer. Summer time is a hard on the bedtime routine. The time on the clock doesn't mean much to our little ones. They just know that it's still light out which means they should still be up. Maybe your little guy is just not associating that it's bedtime. I commend you for sticking with the crying for 7 minutes. I know those minutes can feel like a life time. When you go back in to check on him one thing I learned is to not pick him up. Take a minute to rub his back or tummy and talk to him. Reasure him that he's alright and that it's bed time. Then when you leave the room if he starts to cry again then wait a few more minutes and do the same thing. Of course you want to check the obvious stuff too. Like could his diaper be wet or did he not eat as much as normal. Is there anything that is causing discomfort or maybe a new shadow in the room. I think if you stick to it you'll soon see that the crying will be less and less each night.

Isn't it so hard to be a mom. When all we want to do is love and protect our kids. We don't want any hurt to come and no tears to fall. But this skill is so important for our little ones to learn. They will have to put themselves to sleep for the rest of their lives. Remember that nothing lasts forever. You're helping your little man to learn a very valuble lesson. Keep with it, you can do it. We have all been there too. The fact that you are searching out advice just shows what a great mom you are. I'll be praying for you T..

Many Smiles,

F.
____@____.com
www.discoverytoyslink.com/faithswickard

The most rewarding thing in parenting that I have done thus far is uninterrupted nights of sleep on a consistant basis. Without sleep, I am a complete mess. I'll share my stories with you, but my disclaimer is that you have to do what is right for your family. If crying it out isn't right for you and bed sharing is what makes you feel best, then go for it and share your success stories with everyone.

My daughter did WONDERFUL straight out of the hospital. The first few months or so she was waking every hour or two but after that I'd put her down at 9pm and she'd sleep until 7am. She'd only nap about an hour a day, but I had my sleep at night so that was WONDERFUL!

Anyway, she ended up with her very first fever and virus at 10 months old. Roseola, which caused a high fever so of course she was waking every couple of hours crying. Each time she cried, I went in and gave her as much fluid she'd drink, and go back to bed. Once the virus was gone she was STILL waking every couple of hours. I tried sitting next to her bed putting my hand on her back and humming,but this made her even more ANGRY!! (It's like she was insulted that I wasn't picking her up and holding her) Tried doing this daily for about 4 or 5 days and it became worse and worse. So I thought about crying it out (CIO). The first night we let her cio she cried for TWO HOURS!!! It broke my heart into a million pieces and yes I was laying in my bed crying crying and crying some more. The second night she cried for about an hour again I was still crying too. The third night she cried for about 15 minutes and after that she was just fine. She is now 3 and we never have a problem with her getting out of her bed at night or waking and needing assistance. She is a wonderful sleeper!

*Also, with CIO, if she even heard my husband or I talking or sneezing she'd cry even louder. Think of a toddler who is having a tantrum and is playing it up for an audience. It was awful if she heard us*

I have a son who I didn't sleep well at all so around 6 months I just had to let him CIO. He wasn't as strong willed as my first. It only took a a few minutes (10 minutes maybe) a day several days in row. He's now 14 months old and so far so good. He's doing well at night and rarely wakes up crying. If he's really crying hard, I go in to check on him and normally it's something that can be easily fixed within seconds and he's back to sleep right away. *Last night he had rolled over to his back and couldn't get back on his tummy, he's in a body cast. Once I rolled him back to his tummy he was out until 8am!*

I would second the one who said not to use the CIO method. I think that some children may respond fine, say if they fall asleep after 2 minutes when you know they are fine and tired. And others will scream for 4 hours, and would be traumatized (and you may be as well) because it just would feel like abandonment to them. The child that had more will than I did, is still very loving and affectionate, and is easily wounded emotionally. I am glad we did not use the CIO method for her. It would have broken her spirit. I never had to use the CIO method for my first three, and the fourth wouldn't do it. So, we never tried again. And, my children go to bed fine now.

It took us one night and 20 minutes but Emme was quite a bit younger so just give it some time. Don't worry and STAY CONSISTENT! You are doing the best thing for your family! It will be SO worth it in the long run.

My only advice is that you should trust your instincts. If it doesn't feel right to you, don't listen to what anyone else says. You are the best judge of what will work for your family. I never tried crying it out with my daughter because hearing her cry made me feel sick and like there was a boulder crushing my chest. I had to ignore a lot advice to let her cry and soothe herself, but it was clearly something that was not going to work for us. You have to do what feels right to you.

It took my son about 4-5 days, but he was 8-9 months old at the time. Just hang in there, it'll be worth it!! Like another mom said, just wait 7-10 min. and go in and pat his/her back for a few min. and say "shhhh, it's okay, it's time to sleep" and go back out, and wait again, and repeat. Don't pick him/her up, or give a bottle or anything like that or he'll know that crying equals "_____". After about 3-4 nights of this, the crying gets down to about 1-2 minutes and boom...they are asleep and eventually they won't cry at all anymore. Just remember crying doesn't always equal sadness. He/She can't talk, so that's the only way to communicate. Learning to soothe themselves is the most precious gift you can teach them!!

If it doesn't work after about 7 days, then he/she might be too young for this method. Good luck!!!!!!

It can take a long time, but long bouts of crying will be over within a few days to two weeks, depending on how consistent you are and your child's temperment and age. I would go in and comfort at seven minutes if it makes you feel better. Just keep leaving and checking on him. Be sure to pay attention to just fussing/complaining and all-out crying. I say that because my baby (5.5) months still complains for 2-5 minutes before almost every nap/bedtime, but I know it is just his way of getting to sleep. He is tired and does want me to put him down so he can work it out. So I don't check on him when he sounds like that. For mine, when they were winding down, it just riled them up if I went in. It is very hard on mommy and baby, but the sleep is so good for their brain development. Good luck.

i never actually read or knew about the "cry it out" method, as a first time mom i didn't know mamasource existed until my son was a little older, but i guess i kind of used the theory in my own way because MY little man went through the phase of waking up, not being wet/dirty, hungry, or anything, and i was out of my mind with exhaustion. i simply didn't know what else to do. i too spent a couple nights on the phone with my mom, and shed some exasperated, nearly hysterical tears over it! she was great and assured me that if there was truly nothing he needed, there was nothing else for me to do, unless i just wanted to sit with him and lose even more sleep trying to make him happy, when all he needed was to spend some energy crying, till he was ready to konk out. we got through it and so will you. i don't understand how rocking, cuddling, or "hanging out" with them does them any favors, when all they really need is sleep. and i don't see how, if you are there for them when they actually need something, loving and supporting and caring for them, that not killing yourself losing sleep when they don't actually need you, can possibly traumatize them for life. you know your baby, and you know if he needed you you would take care of whatever it was. part of our jobs as a mom is to teach them self reliance and independance, and unfortunately this is one of those things they do need to learn - how to self-soothe and go to sleep on their own. it's one of the first of many things you'll teach him! no one would ever suggest "abandoning" your child and just letting them cry hysterically.

like i said i didn't use the "cry out" method, but i did reach my limit of sleep deprivation. i remember sitting anxiously by the monitor praying for the silence i hoped would come, being physically nauseaus at the sound of his crying...and it was only a couple nights before my son's whole sleep habits changed and we were ALL a lot happier. i wasn't much of a mom exhausted and frustrated. so for us it was totally worth it. good luck!

T.~ Hello- i know how hard the cry-it out method can be. I have a 10 month-old girl and we had to do the same thing around 5 months. Literally- when i finally just made myself wait it out, after two nights or so- we were good to go. The 1st night was pretty brutal- i know it feels like an eternity....i think she may have cried for 15-20 mintues. I used the Ferber method though and went into her room every 5 to 10 minutes and just rubbed her back and told her it was okay and soothed her for just a few minutes- but i never picked her up- then i would leave again and come back in 5 to 10 minutes if i needed to.....until she finally went to sleep. I know how hard it is to listen to your baby cry- but it is so important that they learn to self-soothe and trust me - it takes only a few nights and the 2nd night- they cry a little less than the 1st night- and it gets better and soon- she will cry for about 30 seconds or not at all. You will have the occasional night here and there- but it so worth it! You can do it- even if you have to cry in the other room. =) You will be so glad you did it- i have a friend who has a baby aout my age and doesn't believe in letting her baby cry it out and she is still getting up at night- and i don't know how she does it! Good luck!

The cry out method works,I gave in too it is hard not to but after so many sleeples nites I had to do something especially if everything was fine with my children.Hang in there it's a rough road ahead but loving your children will guide you through.Tonite aim for 10 min. and then extend it,don't pick him up pat his tummy rub his feet head etc. even offer him a paci but picking him up will land you back to square 1.Like I said it is hard not to pick up sweet cuddly baby but he is yours and only you know what he needs or if he is just crying to cry,listen to your babies cues he will let you know!!!Sahm of 2 kiddos

T.,

I have 8 children and did not use the cio method until baby #7!! I am a very strong (maybe a little stupid, HA) person. My first child was a horrible sleeper and even though she was a thumb sucker, she wanted to be held and rocked to sleep until she was 4 years old!! My next two were boys and they quit wanting to be held and rocked once they were weaned from the breast. The middle three were some combination of the first 3. Baby 7 was a boy and very attached to Mama. He wanted to nurse every 2 hours as a 3 or 4 month old!! I decided I had no choice. I don't remember the amount of time it took to get him to sleep on his own, but I do remember the stress it caused for me. I guess I thought it was worth it, as with our 8th child, I did the cio method as well. One result, which ended up being a bit of a problem, was that both these children would ONLY fall asleep in their OWN beds!! That got to be tiresome when we were out and about in the evening and it was bed time. They would fuss and we could not comfort them because they wanted to be in their OWN bed! The nights that we got a full night's sleep overrode this annoyance, however. Each child has their own personality and their own timetable of how stubborn they can be. You and your husband have to come to a decision and back each other up no matter what. Your dear little boy will not be emotionally damaged--just be consistent whatever you do and he will know you love him!!

talk to your pediatrician. see what she or he says. I would also consider reading some books on this. I personally think the "Cry it out method" is like using Love and Logic room time on children less than three years old. but I think you need more infromation. you child does not seem to be responding to the method. it makes me wonder.

I could never do the "cry it out" routine with my girls. It was heart breaking and only made them cry harder the longer I let them cry. They obviously are wanting or needing something for them to cry out. I love rocking my children to sleep and I noticed that that is all they wanted...some love and cuddling before they went to sleep. Go with your instint, if it's breaking your heart try rocking or just a little more milk sometimes does the trick too. Good luck!

The biggest part is your willingness to stay consistant. So if you really think you can't handle it then don't start. If you start and don't finish they way you are supose to, then you will only do more harm and send your child mixed messages. This is about teaching your child to be able to calm themselves. A skill most infants have, but when we constantly rock them to sleep or have them fall asleep while eat, we teach them to lose this ability. If you lay him in there first for seven minutes then go in lay him back down give him a kiss and say it is time for bed. Then leave and go back after six minutes repeat, then at five minutes just lay him back down no attention, then do every five minutes past that (stay constistant with the time, get a timer). It took three days of doing that for my daughter and now bed time is not a fight at all.

Hi T.-
Reading all of the responses makes me feel like a bad mom as I did the cry it out method (or baby bootcamp as i call it) with both of my kids, at 6 weeks old for my first child and at 4 weeks old for my second child. They both hated their bassinets and would only sleep snuggled up with me on my recliner. Both are now very good sleepers (which is good for working parents). With my first child it was harder on me, he cried for a long time the first night and cried less and less everynight. With my second, she cried for about 20 minutes and then zonked out. My son (the older child, he is now 2) now falls asleep all on his own and knows that if he gets scared in the middle of the night mommy or daddy will be there to give him a snuggle and a kiss to help him fall back asleep but he also knows how to settle himself down nd fall back asleep if he just wakes up for no reason. My children's pediatrician always tells me that as long as your child is fed, dry, and is in no harm a little crying is not going to hurt them. I truely believe this. Do what you feel is best for you and your child. It is a very hard method to choose and you have to be strong and know that your child will still know that you love him. Bedtimes are hard but just know whatever method you choose will be the right one because you feel comfortable with it (that is the most important thing).

Hi T.,
If letting him cry it out just doesn't seem to be the right fit for your family, here's another (maybe wacky, but interesting) idea...
Have you heard of the book "Baby Whisperer?" I haven't read it, but I heard the author talk about her method on a talk show--when your baby cries, go to him and pick him up. The second he stops crying, lay him back down. Of course he will cry again, then you immediately pick him back up. As soon as he stops crying, lay him down again. Basically, you repeat this cycle until he finally stops crying after laying him down. It could take 150 times in a row, but baby will learn that if he is scared, lonely, or misses you and he cries, you will be there, but he's on his own for falling back asleep.
I didn't know about this method when my daughter was a baby, and we let her cry it out (it only took one night and she caught on). I wish we could have another baby so I could try this out--it seems to give such a healthy message to baby without leaving guilt on the parents. I don't see how it could hurt to try, but just be ready to lift your cuddly bundle over and over (have pain killers on standby for your back!! LOL!)
Good luck!
Angie

I wish I could help you on this. My little man is 7 1/2 mths and while he goes to sleep with no problems getting him to stay asleep is a whole other game. He is still up 3-5 times a night! So all I can say is I sympathize and if you just need support I'm right there with you. :)

I think itis a good idea in moderation as everything else is. A supportive routine usually works out best in our house. Bedtime everynight at the same time, no talking, dimmed lights. These were the guidelines we used and my daughter seemed to get into routine within 2 weeks. I kept a rocking chair near the crib for when she needed the extra support (little holding therapy) but no words because that stimulates the baby and wakes them up further. Massaging her face gently while I rocked her seemed to calm her also.

T.,
The first night that we tried it, my son cried for almost an hour. We went to check on him every 15 minutes. But the next night, I think he only cried for 5 mins and then the next night, he did not cry at all. It is very hard to listen to them cry, but it makes a world of difference at night, when they are able to get themselves back to sleep. Good luck...

Trust your instincts. There's a reason you can't let him go longer than 7 minutes! Have you ever read the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? I found it very helpful. 6 months olds aren't made to be independent. I hope your nights get better soon!

Can't help you on this one. I could and would never do that. I wouldn't recommend that method. I've read from doctors and child psychologists that babies that "cry it out" learn that their parents aren't always there when they need them. Later in life it could lead to anger issues, aggression, and many other hidden psychological problems that all root to the fear of abandonment. I know many moms don't agree with that theory, but why would you want to risk it? Also, many are going to say, "I did it with my baby and he's fine." I'm sure most babies turn out fine, but there are many that don't. Good luck in whatever you choose to do.

If you are the one that always puts him to sleep--let your husband do it. Leave the house a couple of hours before bedtime so your son thinks you're not there. Let your husband put him down (we have 3 and I'd usually come home at this time when he couldn't see me or hear me). It also helps to have a sound machine or small fan for white noise. Have your husband go in at 3 minutes if he's crying (give pacifier, don't stay more than 30 seconds and don't pick him up), then give visits at another 3 minute interval and at 5 minute intervals for 2 times. If he's just moaning and intermittently crying-don't go in. I would never let a 6 month old cry hard for more than 15 minutes. We have 3 that slept with us until they were 7 months and I nursed all 3--we did this with them everytime and it was a breeze, none of them cried hard for more than 5 or 6 minutes. Oh--let your husband do this for 2 or 3 nights and then you give it a try. In the meantime, it is important that you don't put him down for a nap until you have had a successful time putting him down at night with little or no crying. Give him naps in the car, stroller, swing (unless your hubby is available)until you've put him down at night. Good Luck
L.

Go outside. I had to do that with both of my kiddos. Take a book or your laptop and head outside on the porch, without the monitor. After 15 minutes go inside and check. If he's crying still, go in and rub his leg, back or whatever, but don't say anything. Then after a few minutes, when he's calmed down, leave again. IF he cries again go back outside. It will take a few days. But don't give in. Stay strong. That will help you when he's older and you need to be strong. Good luck and God Bless.

My brother's first little guy took 4 hours before he finally gave up. I think my SIL cried right along with him the whole time. The next night it wasn't nearly as bad and I think it only took 3-4 nights for him to figure it out. It is different for each child and parent. If you can't handle the crying, then figure out a different way to help him learn how to sleep. I could not handle letting them cry for that long. I would sit in the room with my little ones and hold their hand through the crib while singing to them so that they would get used to falling asleep without being held. Whatever you decide to do, the sooner you teach him the easier it is for both of you.

T.~
Your baby needs sleep as much as he needs food! Feed your baby when they are hungry, and "sleep" your baby when they are tired. I believe that there is a good mix between soothing and letting them cry. The better soother they become (starting around 6 mths - with sucking thumb, or with a lovie of some sort)or the better you become (when they are younger with rocking, holding, etc...)the less they will cry. Buy the book - "Heathly Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It did wonders for me and my family! My first started to sleep through the night at 4 mths, second at 8 weeks, and will start this with my newborn in a couple of weeks. I could write on and on and tell you why you should buy this book, but the fact of the matter is it works! Buy it! You can even get a used verison of it on Amazon for as cheap as $2.47. It will save you a world of sleepless nights! Good Luck!

Hi T., I read all the advice you received here and most sound very sound and agreeable. We have had all of our gr kids ( 5 ) with us at different times and used let them cry if necessary. I also have soft music playing "Baby Einsteins classical lullaby's" on constant play. When they wake up they can listen to soft music and go right back to sleep. It's on at nap time daily with our 8 month old gr son. I lay him down kiss him pat his tummy and walk out of the room. He may chatter a few minutes sometime whimper and goes to sleep.
I have a relaxing time also as the monitor is in two rooms. Our 3 yr old gr son can hear it when he naps also upstairs in our room with the monitor receiver.
Most CD players have the continuous play mode & you can find the BE cd's at Wal-mart and Baby's R Us.
Good Luck to you T., this to shall pass on to something new in know time at all ;)

K.
Nana to 5

It works so stick to you. It can take hours at first. My little guy was about 6 months and the first nights it took about an hour to get him to sleep. Buy, Sleeping Habits of Healthy Babies, I swear by it. I know many Moms who have used it and it works. My litte guy is 3 and still goes to bed with ease. So, you do have to hang in there. I actually had to let my husband do it, because I couldn't stand the crying either, I usually sat downstairs and cried myself. But, it was worth it.

If you can't let it go for at least 20 minutes it is never going to work. Sorry:(

Hi T.,

I used the CIO method with my oldest girl when she was about 6 months - and it was sooooo hard but it worked. First of all make sure you have a routine that you follow each night. Bath, story, bottle/snuggle time and then bed type of thing. This will really help. We did our routine and then put her in the bed when her eyes were getting droopy and as soon as we laid her down she's bounce back up. But we wouldn't let her out of the bed and let her cry. The first time that we did it, it was about 10 or 15 minutes. After about 15 minutes I would go in and calm her and lay her back down - but I wouldn't let her out of the room. This took about 2 or 3 nights. Once she figured out that she wasn't getting out of the bed and that I wasn't going to stay in there with her she stopped the crying. Good luck!!!!

I had to use the CIO method with both my girls. I went through this just a couple of months ago. I can tell you that my experiences were very different. With my first, she screamed for about 4 hours the first night and progressively got better over the course of the next week to week and a half. I hated it, it was horrible. With my newest addition, my third child, I used the EASY method from the Baby Whisperer so getting her to go to sleep was not the problem. Her problem was staying asleep. I let her cry one night for about an hour, the next night 10 minutes, and then we were finished. I truly believe that having the consistency during her waking hours helped drastically. Also, you will get better at hearing your little man cry. The first one the cries go right through you. Upon talking with my daughters doctor about crying (she has colic), she stated that it is normal for a baby to fuss/cry for about 20 minutes before they settle into sleep. I find that to be true with my daughter. She might night be crying, but a lot of nights she doesn't fall asleep right away. Also, another thing that you may want to try is setting up a nighttime routine that works for you so that he knows what to expect every night from you. Before I did the CIO method, I prepared Lindy for it by having the same routine every night. Ours was bath, bottle, book, bed. I did this for about 2 weeks and then did the cry it out method. This way, she already knew what was coming next. Good luck to you! Hey, if you cannot take the screaming, the weather is great this time of year! Sit outside and have a drink. You will feel better!

That's about how long I could take it :)...10-15 minutes should do the trick...it's not long but 15 minutes feels like 45 minutes when you're sweet little baby is crying :)...hang in there :)

I think this works for some babies and not for others, no matter how hard you try. Some babies just get more and more mad the longer they cry and cannot calm themselves down in to sleep.

The ultimate goal here is to get your baby to learn how to soothe himself to sleep. That does not always mean crying it out. It might mean instead, a consistent bed time routine of bath, PJ's, story/prayers, and bottle, and rocking. This way, he knows what is coming next. If this soothes him, then maybe you can start putting him in his bed while he is drowsy, but awake. Like another mom suggested, maybe get the routine down before you start putting him in bed, so he knows what to expect.

For your baby, teaching him how to soothe himself might mean something different, so look for clues from your baby as to when he's ready to fall asleep. For instance, my niece gets her sleep sack on, is rocked with a bottle, then she tosses her bottle when she's finished and holds her sleep sack up to her mouth when she's tired enough and ready to get in bed. She is put in there when she is really drowsy, but still barely awake, and goes to sleep on her own. Now, I know lots of babies who would scream as soon as they hit the mattress if they are still awake, so you just have to figure out what works for him. I think consistency is key here. My niece who now goes to sleep on her own, used to only sleep well in her car seat or bouncer until she was about your son's age. They tried the CIO method, but she was a baby who just got too mad. I know it does work for some, but that's something only you will know if it is right for you.

Oh...I think I might love that baby whisperer idea. I have a new boy in the daycare that is absolutely the clingiest baby I've had in a long time. He screams like he's dying the moment he is put down and smiles like crazy when he's picked up. He gets so mad and turns shades of red, kicking and screaming wildly. But he's only 3 months old! I have him 4 nights per week. I think I'll try that method this week and see what happens.

Suzi

Hi, T.. It is so hard to hear a crying baby, isn't it? I do believe in letting a baby cry it out. If they are in a safe place and not in any distress, it is okay to let them cry. Parents whose babies have colic are actually recommended to let their baby cry it out for brief periods of time, to give the parents some calming time before holding them again. I personally believe it is best to wait 20 minutes at most at this age, because if you don't give them enough time, they will continue to cry until you come and get them. They need to feel as though they can put themselves to sleep without you. It may be tough waiting it out now, but it will get so much more frustrating and difficult to correct the problem later. Good Luck!