Help with Girlfriend's Child....

Spend a lot of time with your friend and let the kids play too. It's a instinctive reaction with the whole discomfort for her i bet. Sometimes when people visit and my daughter is somewhat the same I feel a twinge of "Hey, I'm old hat!" But actually she's the one that the kid can go to in an emergency or for anything she needs. She's there for her always and the kid is totally aware of that. If she can find another great lady she loves then be the super cool aunt? The situations where it's reverse and my kid wigs at the site of a person(s) every time is even more uncomfortable I think. They are super straight forward and know what they like/dislike and have no problem expressing it. Being liked is pretty darn cool I say.

I think you can approach it by not letting the little one lead the way. When she comes to you and tries to latch on you can tell her that you are going to talk with her mommy right now. Kids have to learn that they are not in charge and they have to give adults some space at times. My husband and I do that sometimes when we take a couple minutes to talk and we don't allow our 22 month old to interrupt. I am not talking about being extreme or anything, we simply let him know that we are talking and we will be with him in a few minutes. Sometimes he cries or yells, but as long as we don't give the tantrum attention, he goes and gets a toy and chills. Of course this is your friend's daughter so it will be up to her how to handle the tantrum etc, but if she takes the cue from you that you are interested in talking to her and not having her child latched on to you, I think her mommy button will go off and she will deal with her little one. If you always let the little girl have her way, it could affect your relationship with mom which is not what any of you want. She may think you are fine with the girl being all over you and not want to offend you by pulling her off. So I think if you just make a point to say things like, "I can't take you right now honey, go to mommy, etc.." your friend will know that you are a-ok with her stepping in and corralling her daughter, plus the little one will know that she isn't calling the shots. I really hope it all works out, friendship is so important as a mom!!:)

I am sure some of you friends uneasiness is jealousy that her daughter is so attached to someone that is not her! It is great that you two have this bond. As to how to over come it, it takes not being around her.

She will grow out of it. When I was the infant teacher at our church MDO, I had a little girl in my class that absolutely loved me. She would cry when mom would come get her and often I would have to go out with her and put her in the car. When we would see each other at church, she would cry to go sit with me. She is now 3.5 and has no clue who I am since I have not seen her very often since she moved out of my class.

Good Luck!

I would talk to the little girl about how great her mom is. I would also talk to the mom alot to get the attention of the attached girl. If she thinks your so great and your greatness thinks her mom is fun stuff she might warm up. Or tell her no if she tries to sit in your lap. Let her hold you hand when she first grasps it then a few moments later use your hand to fix hair, adjust pants, pretend dig in your purse, look at a book. When she asks for the hand back say just a moment and walk away. Her tantrums are for her mother to handle. Good luck hope you find your answer.

Sounds like she has a huge crush on you. This is not unusual at this age. The only thing I can suggest is to greet the little girl as usual but tell the little girl, "we need to do what your mommy says".

Or you can always give her time. "I can only hold you for 1 minute and then your mommy says it is time for school". Or "Your mommy says it is time to go inside."

Give the authority to the child's parent. Show that you respect the mom so the little girl will mimic your behavior.

Compliment the mom in front of the child. "You are so lucky to have such a nice mom."

We had a little girl in our neighborhood who had a huge crush on my husband when she was 2. Her father was a little jealous, so my husband would try to always make sure to hand her off to the dad with a complement, and have the child acknowledge it.

I had a bad experience with a nanny who's child was always following me around and staring at me. It turns out her mom was leaving her alone in the house/ locking her in the closet when she would cry. The nanny was caught and arrested by the grace of God. The nanny came with excellent recomendations and my husband even printed her church groups T-Shirts. Sometimes you just never know with people. I don't mean to say that the same thing applies to your friend. I don't want to offend you in anyway, it's just somthing to think about.
Good luck,