Am I Overreacting? **Update**

I am going to give the teacher the benefit of the doubt and tell you I was a teacher at a MDO. The mother actually went to the director and told her she thought I did not like her. Luckily, my director knew it was a mistake and told me. I was mortified to know a mother felt like that. I made sure I gave her more attention after that. Plus I loved the little girl. Soetimes at the end of the day when all the parents are coming and going it is a little distracting. And like your child's teacher I am a little chatty to everyone and always has a lot going on at the end of the day when dismissing the kids. Any teacher who would treat a child different because they do not like the mom should not be a teacher!! On another side. My best friend did not like her daughter's teacher. The teacher was not great with parents and did a little tough love. I continuously asked my friend (the mom) if her daughter was happy. ANd she said YES. I asked if she was learning, and she said tons. So I said, "Then what's the problem? Just don't talk to the teacher any more! But don't change her class if she is happy!" So I ask you, if your son seems to talk about his teachers in a loving fashion and is very happy where he is then just mention it to the director as a little concerned, but I wouldn't change schools. Another suggestion is to maybe ask if she can call you later from her home after kids have gone to bed, maybe that way she will not be distracted when discussing your son. I hope this helps. But I felt horrible to know that a parent htought I didn't like them. Good Luck, L.

"Trust your intuition" if your son is happy then she probably is not unkind to him but if he is acting like he is not then take him out... My son was happy with a MDO for the first 2 weeks then he got another teacher that I was unaware of the change and he could not wait to leave and would cry every time I dropped him off (except for the first 2 weeks he did not do this) then the teacher bawled me out in front of everyone including my 2 year old when i picked him up she said that he was terrible and she could not stand him... I wish i would have taken him out when I first noticed a change but when i asked the director she said they all go through that stage...but did not tell me he was having trouble with that teacher... (ps this was 2 years ago)

Any way, I can't stand people like her either they are insecure and like to make people feel small. The best thing you can do is make sure your son is happy and if he is then pretend that her personality does not bother you and that will drive her crazy because she is probably trying to get a rise out of you. People like that like to controll others and if she sees a response then she has controll and power over your feelings. Don't give her that controll.

A. J

I think you should always follow your instincts. If it were me, I'd get away from people who act that "childishly" and rude. Can you find another MDO program? There's one at a church called "The Heights" in Richardson at 75 that's nice. You don't have to be a church member either.

I would ask for a time to meet with her one on one and dicuss the problem...if she refuses or it doesn't get solved I would go to the director and not to tattle but to seek advice on how to best handle it.
You should never ignore that Mommy instinct.
I am a preschool teacher myself and I would hope that a parent would come to me with honesty and compassion and talk to me.
I hope you get this solved!

Shannon,

That sounds a LOT like what I went through with my older son's 3's class. My son has some mild special needs (for lack of a better term) and always seemed to be a problem to them. Mind you, he was never a problem behaviorally, he was just behind with fine motor, potty training and his social skills. Honestly, I think because he didn't fit into their idea of a "normal" child they just ignored him. Like in your situation, there was one queen bee of the three who made it pretty obvious who were her favorites.

Anyway, I talked and talked with them. Made lots of unannounced visits, etc. and it got a little better. I DEEPLY regret not pulling him out of that school. Now that we have him in a school that treats all children as God's gifts, I realize that I should had followed my instincts (I always thought I was overreacting) and done more for my child.

I would suggest that you basically follow the chain of command. Start with the teachers. If you don't get a response, then go to the director. Maybe you could ask her to be descreet in any actions she takes to help protect your child and you. I hate to say it, but if you don't get results that way, then you may have to change schools. He may be happy where he is now, but he may not be getting the care that he NEEDS. The church school that we had our son in had great facilites and lots of "extras". I was a little nervous when I moved him to his current school because it was smaller and not as fancy. He LOVES the new school (this is his 2nd year, they have kindergarten) and everyone in the school knows him. The loving environment has made such a difference.

I know it's tough, but please follow your instincts. I really think you will regret it if you don't!!

Hi Shannon-

No you are not overacting at all as moms we have these feelings and they are completely normal. Have you ever had a tiff with your child's teacher before? I know what I am about to say is definately easier to write than to do, but maybe you might want to confront your child's teacher and say "hey I was telling their was some kind of tension between us and I wanted to make sure everything was okay. " Something along that line. I know it will be hard to do, but just think if she is upset or whatever else her reasoning for not being nice to you she might take it out on your child, which is not fair at all. But I promise once you say something to her then you can get passed it and not feel horrible everytime you drop your child off because I am sure son will pick up on your tension if not already. I hope this helps have a great Sunday!

Shannon,

Yes, she seems to be very childish and beyond rude. You must put your child’s needs first. I know so cliché. As long as he is happy and most importantly thriving I would leave him be. I would do as another poster stated. I would pull her off to the side away from prying ears and ask her why she is acting the way she is. I would politely inform her that I was unappreciative of the “cold shoulder” method she is using to treat you with such unprofessionalism. I would remind her that she is in charge of the most important person in your life…your son! You would like to get back on track by understanding exactly what it was that you did to her to offend her sensitivities. Assure her that it (being whatever ridiculous excuse she can come up with) will not happen again. Then proceed to instruct her for future reference it is always impolite to “freeze” someone out if you are upset with them. It is best to inform that person of your discord. If she remains upset with you I would either take this problem to the director for a quick resolution or I would seek another MDO program that would better suit my child.

Always listen to your gut. I tell my girl’s that is God tapping on your shoulder!

Good Luck to you and let us know how it turns out!!!!
Dene’ H.