Help with 4Yr Old Getting Out of Bed in Middle of Night

Give her a reward if she sleeps through the night or at least doesn't wake you up. For my daughter....she could only have a popsicle if she didn't bother me all night...worked like a charm.

there is this amazing website I have used and really like called Children's Behavior Help, check them out, I'm sure they will have a solution best of luck, Kia

All of the excuses and stories she is coming up with are just her way of trying to think of something that you will accept so that she can be with you, see you, or get some sort of attention/love and security from you. She is not waking up and seeking her parents just to make you angry. Kids do not have that high level of thinking and there would be no benefit to making you angry, she just wants you and hopes you will be there but not be angry :-) She is still very much a baby at only 4 yrs old and will still need you for many things. I think it is a lot to ask of a 4 yr old to 'take care of herself' in the night when she feels she still needs you. She is probably going through some emotional and developmental stage in which she is seeking comfort and love from those she feels closest to, and it is being met with anger, frustation and fury. This reaction is probably making her MORE anxious at times throghout the night, with her knowing that if she wants you, even just as security of knowing you are there for her, it will not be happily welcomed. You are her rock, comfort and security. She does not have the full cognitive and logical thinking that we have as adults about needing sleep, that everything is safe and secure, that morning is only a few hours away, etc. She is still a child and wants to know you are there to happily help her with her feelings and other needs.

Even the fact that she wants you to still wipe her tells me (in my opinion) that she is seeking ways to still get you to be close to her and for her not to have to do everything on her own....it makes her feel cared for and loved (does she get snuggled and cuddled alot when she tries?). even though she could very well do it, every kid develops differently and at their own rate and some are ready for doing things all on their own earlier than others. Try to have patience and understanding of her individual needs. Before long she won't need or want you anymore at all and this will be a memory.... Be there for her while she is still asking.

Best wishes!

Have you considered a reward program? If she does not wake you in the middle of the night than she gets something that you may not normally give her that she wants?

Also, if you have a baby monitor, you could start telling her that she is not allowed to come into mommy and daddys room she has to call you through the monitor.

I would try to encourage her to solve some of these problems herself. Although you are tired and frustrated, don't turn the fan on for her, show her she can do it, don't start the music again for her show her she can do it. Maybe some independance will help her.

Just a little side note, she may just be looking to get extra attention. If that is the case maybe you could create a reward that is, you get to stay up 15 minutes later tonight if you do not wake up in the middle of the night, and sit on the sofa and cuddle with mom and dad while we watch TV you want to watch. Or you can pick 2 books you want to read and mom and dad will both read to you at bedtime for that 15 minutes. If she just wants to be with you, maybe extra positive attention will help her not try to get attention in the middle of the night.

Good Luck and do not worry it is only a phase.

My six year old went through the same thing around that age, then again a year later. I just assumed it was a phase- I just set up a sleeping bag and pillow in our room and if he woke up and was frightened, he has welcome to seek comfort with us without actually waking us. He stopped doing it about 2 weeks later. Try not to get so upset, it will pass. She's not going to be a teenager and want to sleep with mom and dad. :)

My daughter used to do this alot now once in awhile she has stated getting out of bed taking pullup off then climbs back in bed untills she wakes up wet bed later. She is at the stage where she does not want to use the potty nor does she want a diaper on. Your daughter will probably stop getting up on her own. Just give it some time. Yes !! Easier said then done.

My son did this for awhile. He would come up with excuses to wake us up. But the real reason was he wanted to sleep with us. So I actually put a pillow and blanket down on the floor next to our bed. So when he gets up for whatever reason, he just lays down on the floor and goes to sleep. But I don't know if that's the real reason she's waking you up or not. The deal we made with our son was he had to go to sleep in his bed and if he wakes in the middle of the night he could come to our room. He did it for awhile and now sleeps through the night.

What about some kind of treat if she lets you sleep the whole night?

I know your tired but be glad that she still needs you. Some day she will tell you she can do it all on her own. Then the next thing you know she will be grown and gone. Enjoy her as much as possible. Before bed take her potty, make sure she has teddy, leave a radio playing in her room, put a night light in there for her, read her a happy story, say her prayers with her and tell her you love her and you will be real proud of her for staying in her room until morning. If this doesn't work look back to see if there were any changes in her life when all this started. Who is she talking to and spending time with? What tv shows is she viewing? Make sure she doesn't see the news. That can cause any child to not want to stay in their own room. But make sure she has plenty of Mom and me time and Dad and me time before bed.......

I know you are sleep deprived and how angry that can make a person, I go through the same thing. But your daughter is going through something. It could be emotional or growth related but she can't help it. She's not doing it specifically to tick you off...If her sleep is interrupted maybe try melatonin it is natural and won't harm her. Just remember it is just a stage and she will get through it and so will you with patience and time.

I am a mother of a 4year old girl as well, and a 8 month old girl. My 4 year old use to sleep throgh the night, and then all of a sudden she started to wake up and come in our room every night at 4 a.m. My husband and I were tired of it as well. We finally listened to her. We are not in any means experts, and remember all children are different. She said she was scared of the dark. Nitelights didn't work. We made a deal with her. How about the new puppy sleeps in your room, and I leave the blinds open so you can see the street lights? Just to let you know her room is on our 3rd floor. Thank God it worked! She has been sleeping thrugh the night for 3 weeks now. We constantly praise her for it. Just Try to figure out, or listen to what she needs. Don't give up. She will come around. I hope this helps. Good luck!

My almost 4 yr old started to do the exact same thing. I ended it by giving her a hug & a kiss (not getting mad) and asking her to go to bed on her own (or potty or what ever she needed). She just wanted attention & to know that everything was ok. She eventually stopped waking up. I think it's a phase, and the best thing to do is give her some love and send her back to bed. Try not to get mad, it doesn't help anything. Good luck :-)