Seeking Advice on Co Sleeping

Go to http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/index.asp. Jay Gordon has a sleep training system for co-sleeping families.

Good luck!

I co-slept with both of my kids, they both woke up about every 1.5-2.0 hours until they were night weaned. For my son I think that was around 18-24mos, for my daughter right at 24mos. It can get worse or better - in my opinion, the older they get the more you can reason with them. For example, when my son was around 18mos, I began to tell him that pretty soon, we won't be nursing when Mr. Moon is out, only when Mr. Sun comes up. This took awhile, but with patience on my part, it did happen and he slept through the night and has since, (he'll be four in April). My daughter was the same once she weaned, slept great and still does - she is 6. So, yes, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Your little guy is 15mos, you could start using the Mr. Moon thing (if you want to). My son night weaned, then still nursed for about a year. I had no problem with that for a few reasons - he didn't nurse much and if he got sick he bounced back very quickly on Momma's milk! I did by the way, allow all night nursing when they were sick, even if they had been night weaned, I'd just tell them what we were doing. I know it's tough, but once this is all over, it will seem like such a small part/time in their life. Both of my kids are very independent and great sleepers!

Best wishes!
M.

Good for you for not letting anyone talk you out of co-sleeping! (Yes, this is the worst of it, and yes, it will get better :)

Get "The No-cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers" by Pantley. It really helped me. It has a section on co-sleeping as well as one on extended nursing.

I still cosleep with my almost 2 yr old (we love it) and the best thing we did to help him sleep through the night was to cut off night nursing. I let him nurse once at around 10pm and then no more. He was hysterical at first and I could not console him, this would only make him more angry. So, my husband would take him and rock him to calm him down and get him to go back to sleep. He needed to rock him at least 5 times a night at first and then each night would be less and less until about night 5 he was happy with Daddy just snuggling close to him and patting him. Eventually he didnt even wake up for the 10pm nursing at all. I couldnt have done it without my husbands help, so hopefully you have someone that can help too. He sleeps so much better now, I wish I would have done it months before I did. Good Luck and stay strong. It was really only one weekend with out sleep and we would take turns napping during the day.

We co-slept with both our children (now 4 and 7) and went through the same problem with our oldest. Finally, when she was 19 months old, I started sleeping on the couch so she couldn't nurse all night. My husband would rock and comfort her, but she still wanted Mommy if I was in the bed. I started explaining that Mommy was tired, but that we could spoon. It also hurt at that time because I was pregnant with our 2nd. She loved spooning, and still does! It was a great substitute. She nursed until she was 2 1/2, at which point my body just stopped making milk (I was 6 months pregnant). We never went through this with our 2nd because she weaned herself completely by 10 months. As for CIO, I've never believed in it - how can a child trust his parent if his needs are being ignored? It always seems so cruel. Don't worry, this will pass. He's not going to be 15 years old and wanting to night nurse. But night weaning him over a few months is a good idea. Give him time and encouragement and hopefully you'll all be sleeping soundly soon.

Having gone through this with three kids already, I can honestly say that it works out in the end. But you need to lay down some rules when things aren't going so well.

Couple of suggestions for you now:
- night wean, but slowly. Start offering cups of water instead. Tell him that his "milkies" need to rest too. He's going to be resistent at first, but in a few months you'll be able to completely transition from all night nursing sessions.

- Give him his own space. Whether that means buying a king bed or placing the crib next to your bed, start giving him his own place to sleep. The best thing I ever did was to put a toddler bed between my king and the wall. Then rolled up thick beach towels to stuff in all the gaps to prevent little arms and legs from getting trapped. I've also heard of some parents who've put their mattress on the floor and than place a twin mattress next to that to give their small ones a place to sleep.

- get him used to sleeping next to dad. Push the bed up against the wall and have dad sleep in the middle. Have him take a nap on the weekend with dad. Have dad snuggle with him at the first part of the night. My daughter started nursing more once I got pregnant with her first brother. And he would often go on nursing frenzies if I didn't take a shower after hubby and I had sex before bed. But when they slept next to dad, they often went all night long before seeking me out in the early morning.

- Try using "white noise". Maybe there's something that startles him that causes him to wake up. The dog next door barks, the neighbor upstairs using the bathroom, a neighbor coming home? The white noise will drown out any distrubing background noise.

- Play with the room tempature. Maybe he's too hot or gets too cold? My kids have all enjoyed a slightly colder room then I can possibly stand. So its either I sleep with a ton of blankets in effort to keep them covered at night, or we sleep to my liking with one blanket on me and none on them.

In a few years you can start trying to get him to stay in his own bed.
- lay him down and sit next to him and soothe him til he falls asleep. Whether its reading to him or patting his back, but something until he falls asleep in his own bed. Then slowly start drifting away a little earlier and then take short trips out of the room and returning to "check on him" until he's asleep.

Its a process. Sure there's going to be a few tears along the way, some frustration, some cranky mornings but its worth it in the long run. One that if you do gently, you end up having kids like me who will go to bed without fuss and stay in bed long after I tuck them into bed, even if they are awake. We never did any CIO, except for once when my oldest was about 6 months old and she scared her daddy so bad he swore he would never do that again, lol! (I was out of the house, so he caught my fury when I got home, since we an hohad agreed not to try CIO. Our daughter only helped matters by being hard to rouse an hour later and then refusing him for a week - he broke her trust! But she loves him now.)

Enjoy your family bed, its all gone too quickly.

Hang in there. We coslept until our daughter was 4! I breastfed her for over 2 years. She is confident and healthy. She would wake up to feed and snuggle. It seemed she would fuss when she knew I wasn't around. In fact, I got so used to her being there when we transitioned her into her own bed I was the one who had the most difficulty falling asleep.

Your story sounds just like mine when my daughter was your sons age. It does get easier as the months go on. Especially when they are past 2. We had a heck of a time at nap times and such, she needed me to cosleep and I just wanted my free time... We rocked, she didn't like that and would cry. I reflect now on that time and realize it was not the easiest but at least I came out unscathed, and more importantly our daughter is happy and healthy.

I would cosleep again in a second with another child. I think for our family it was the right choice. It is still our special "cozy time" when I lay down with her right before bed now and just reflect on her day and what we have in store for tomorrow. She's 6 now, and I think cosleeping craved out an quite place for just she and I. We are close and bonded, and I dread the day she and I don't just snuggle because we love to.

Hope that helps. Good luck and have fun. Somedays are harder than others, but I think that is true whether you are cosleepers or not. Kind regards!

Fellow co-sleeper for almost 3 years and love it. Although it wasn't always a cake walk...there were nights like with your son that my son would wake up more than he would sleep. For me it was about teaching my son to get comfortable without me. It he wanted to feed then, I fed him, but if I noticed he was just comforting himself and not eating, I would pull away and comfort him. He fussed a bit, but after a few weeks he got past it and would only go for the feeding if he was hungry.

I introduced a lovey...we didn't call it that though...it is my son's dino buddy and he uses it on nights he has a hard time sleeping. Started with holding it while feeding, then as we got good at it and he started to wean we held it while rocking and then eventually I could lay him down and instead of fussing for me for comfort he'd grab his dino.

You don't have to wean right now, my son self-weaned around 18 months...one day he just pushed me away and he was done. No biggie.

Another good suggestion, is that since he's growing he might need more room. Have you thought about a mattress on the floor or a futon type bed that can be put away? You can use it for just you two and see if it helps. My friend still uses hers with her 7 year old on night he can't sleep because of being sick or nightmares.

You don't have to stop co-sleeping until your child and YOU are ready. My son is 30 months and for the most part still sleeps in my bed. But, that's because I don't want to rush him away from what makes him feel safe. I don't mind and I love that he feels he can come and get me or stay with me if he needs me. Just find a way to make it comfy for everyone involved.

Good Luck!

Hi D.,

We have a 3.5 yr old and 2 yr old girl, both have been sleeping in our bed since birth. We're huge believers in co-sleeping as this was how we grew up. I grew up in the Philippines and me and my 4 siblings all slept in one room. It was hard at that age at first. Both my girls are movers in bed, sometimes ending up upside down with their legs on my face. Ha, ha! But I wouldn't trade it for the whole world. They're only so young at a short time. And both were fussy at 15 months. On a side note, though, try having a sippy cup with water within reach. After you breastfeed him, make sure he takes a gulp of the water. My older daughter has so much cavities from the milk that now she has to have a baby root canal. Yikes.

Wiit a few more months and he'll start sleeping longer with no interruptions. In others words, it'll get better. He's a lucky boy. Don't get discouraged. It gets better sooner than you think.

Hi D.,

It definitely gets better. If you ween your son from the breasts it may begin to get better sooner than later. My daughter, who is now 16, was the same way. After she was off of the breast, she was addicted to her sippy cup. It took time and patience, but it all worked out... I weened her by putting less milk in her sippy cup each time she'd wake up in the night.

Basically, I loved co-sleeping (my husband not such a fan, but not completely against it and loves it now).... Til this day, it may sound strange but sometimes she still wants to climb in bed with us and just hang out... and yes sometimes fall asleep. It's comfortable, not awkward and we have an extremely close relationship. Of course, it doesn't happen often but the few times a year it does happen - I love it and cherish it. She is our only child and has a few more years before she is out - so good for you for knowing that you do not want to give up co-sleeping.

Good-luck

D.,

I breastfed my first son until he was 2 and we coslept until he was 3 (when his brother was born). My second son breastfed until he was 18 months old (self weaned, the stinker). He's 2.5 and we still cosleep on and off. This is an article I found particularly helpful when my first son was nursing and cosleeping (without much sleeping going on). http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp It is breastfeeding and family bed friendly and practical advice.

Good luck,
T.

Hi-
I have a 22 month year old. We co-slept and even now still take her in bed with us for part of the night and I know it can be taxing-but it does, does get better. I am quite pleased with our situation now and everyone sleeps fine.

My daughter was never a "good" sleeper. Woke up a lot etc. etc. (I averaged 4 hours a night interrupted.) We did transition her into the crib-partially because I was having back/shoulder problems from nursing in bed. Basically I weaned her, slowly, around 16 months and this helped A LOT. She took a bottle and then sippy cup-a ritual before bedtime. ( It wasn't a difficult weaning I just had to be patient.) Once she was mostly weaned it was easier to start her out at night in the crib. For a while she stayed the night in the crib but now our routine is to start her out in the crib - she goes to bed around 7 or 8 and then usually now every night she wakes up between 12 - 2am and we take her into bed. She sleeps solidly in both places in between. I couldn't afford the time to try to get her to fall back asleep in the crib after she wakes up and she seems to like coming in with us. So I feel she is gaining a night time independence starting out in the crib and then we also have the comforts of co-sleeping. I am letting it progress as it will.

Good luck. it will, will, will, get better and don't let any one philosophy rule your thinking. Negotiate your needs (for sleep etc.) and your child's needs-they are both important. Envision your ideal and then just stay patient.

Each child is different.
I co-slept with both of my kids... and still do IF needed (now that my kids are older). It's a great thing for those who like it. And it transitions and evolves naturally as they get older in proportion to their maturity.
Co-sleeping takes many versions...

Just wondering- has he experienced "night terrors" at all? Its a developmental thing... from about 1 year old. It interrupts their sleep.

At this age, he could be going through some separation anxiety... and this will ebb and flow even at Preschool ages. Normal stuff. Or, he is just so bonded with you, that he wants you near anytime.

15 months is a growth-spurt time... and he may just be honestly hungry. I don't know if this is necessarily 'true', but comparing my daughter and son... my son had a GINORMOUS appetite (for nursing) and I had a hard time just keeping up with him. My friends who also have boys, said the same thing about their sons, compared with their daughters. When my son did self wean at about 1 year old, he just wanted a bottle, did not want to breastfeed anymore. Bottles just got him more and quicker access.

Okay and I wish I learned this sooner, but what REALLY helps my daughter to sleep, we found out over the years, is to massage her feet once she is in bed.

For my 1st child, she was pretty high-maintenance. My son, is much more laid back. Both were breastfed and self-weaned.
With my daughter, she too woke up a LOT and did not self-soothe well. BUT, we had realized, that she is 'sensory sensitive' to certain noises/pitches, temperature, ambiance, AND she had LOTS of gas problems since infancy. It got better as she got older and matured developmentally. No one could have told us WHY she woke up so much, because it had to be our own observation of her and cuing into her to see what made her tic. Finally, she is 6 years old now... and only now can she tolerate "noises."

For me.... I started out co-sleeping with my daughter for naps and sleep. For my son, only at night... and he WILL nap in his crib no problem. I just learned that it's about the ROUTINE you have for them... in conjunction with the child's disposition. For my daughter, being the way she was and after trying zillions of 'methods'... only co-sleeping worked. Then, it evolved to co-sleeping only if needed... but that was when she was older. For my son, he adapts much quicker to anything... and once I have a pattern set, he just goes with it. But for my daughter, it took a span of years. Literally. I don't mind though.

Okay so flash forward to today... we still co-sleep IF needed. We have a floor futon in our bedroom... at night that is where my kids sleep, usually. My daughter fluctuates between that and her own bed. We have no problem with that. It's fun and cozy and like camping every night. AND, if one of the kids need me, I co-sleep with them. And when they fall asleep, and if I don't pass out myself, I can get up and go back to my & hubby's bed or just escape and watch tv!

As far as your question about 'will it get better'- yes.
Some babies are fussy sleepers. My daughter was...but now as she has gotten older she can self-soothe and get herself to sleep within 5 minutes of hitting the pillow! She is a GREAT sleeper, now. But not when she was a baby.

To me, yes it will all work itself out. I didn't really 'force' anything on my kids to sleep... and I went with their personalities. And no, it's not easy.... but well, they are our little bundles of joy, right?

Like the others said as well...maybe he just needs more space to sleep in and feels confined sleeping between you and Hubby. No matter what it is... it is all about HOW our child sleeps the best. Really cuing into them and seeing what makes them tic. My son for example, loves to have me close as he falls asleep at night. BUT, once in a blue moon, he will actually tell me "Mama, go now..." and then he just wants to be by himself. Which I do do. Go figure.

In the end, who knows why they wake so much, it's so hard to find out conclusively sometimes! LOL

Anyway, sorry for rambling... take heart... in no time he will be all grown up! He's still young.... don't worry,
All the best,
Susan

I also co -sleep with my 7 mo baby girl, and co-slept with my 6 year old son until the day my daughter was born. I honestly got no sleep with my son in the bed until I officially weaned him at 3 yrs old. I am now not getting any sleep with the 7 mo old because she seems to nurse all night long, and if she's not nursing, she is restless, and seems to be looking for me in the middle of the night, because I try and scoot away from her so she won't look for my boob all night. I do still love to co-sleep, but it is exausting. I hope knowing that you're not alone helps...

My son was the same, only worse, he woke every 45 minutes until the age of 11 months when I bought the book No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, she also has a website with resources. You keep sleep logs, use strategies to help baby learn to fall asleep without nursing, and it all works out. the most effective was the Gentle Pantley Pull Off or something like that--once I started doing that, he learned to fall asleep without nursing and we all slept better.

Hi D.,
I can relate!!! I have three daughters who I have nursed and coslept with for the last 6 years! I nursed my oldest daughter (now almost 6) until she was 2 1/2. When she was 18 months I went back to work and nursed her at night to connect with her. When I finally decided enough was enough for me I prepared her for about a week in telling her that she was a big girl and she didn't need to nurse anymore. She did not want to give up nursing and was just like your son at night. I finally held her one night and she cried in my arms and I just kept telling her that I loved her very much. She finally fell asleep in my arms after about 10 minutes or so. I have never been one to CIO so even this was hard for me. However, that night she slept all night and the next day she asked to sleep in her room in her bed! I also transitioned her out of her bed into a "princess bed" next to our bed on the floor. We put down a camping mattress and blankets on the floor. If she would wake up in the night I would get up to nurse her and crawl back into bed. she didn't seem to wake up as much. I started that around 20 months. She is now almost 6 and extremely self-assured and confident. There is a great book by Dr. Sears called The Sleep Book (i think that's the title). The Sears doctors are big supporters of cosleeping. Our pediatrician is Dr. Bob Sears up in San Clemente and he coslept with all three of his kids. My kids have transitioned into their own beds and sleep on their own. My 2 1/2 year old decided to wean herself at 13 months and went into a twin bed in her sisters room at 15 months. She and my oldest had two twin beds pushed together for a year or so and slept very well. My youngest who is 11 months as of yesterday sleeps like your son. She wakes up all night to nurse and doesn't want to go back to sleep without nursing. I've tried putting her in a crib next to my bed, i've tried using a pacifier but nothing has worked. It takes alot of patience but what I know it will work out in the end. Her older sisters got through it just like your son will. Stay true to what works for you and feels right for you. In the middle of the night it's just you and your son so only you can decide what will work for you and he. I feel like at this age your son is probably very busy during the day and wants to feel that connection at night. Also another thing to think about is perhaps he is hungry? I know my kids at 15 months didn't want to eat very much during the day. They are so busy walking and playing that the last thing they want to do is take time to eat. I recently saw a different pediatrician here in Oceanside (one who is more mainstream) and she said that babies should be breastfed until they are 2. I hope this makes sense and just remember that this time goes by very fast. I just read a great quote recently "For mom's of young children the days seem to go by very slowly but the years fly by".

I am way into co sleeping if my kids will allow it. I had one baby who just wanted to sleep alone. He woke up too much when he was right next to me so I put him in his crib right next to my bed and he slept much better. That broke my heart because I love co sleeping but he was a very light sleeper and I guess I just woke him up.

As for the midnight snacking. He is developing a night time routine. And you know how much kids love a routine. It's up to you to change it. My baby is on a bottle now and I actually water down the formula and she isn't as excited to wake up for a snack any more. Sometimes I leave a bottle of water next to her. She takes a quick sip then falls back to sleep. I hope that will give you some ideas. :)

The idea is just figuring out how to change the routine.

Hi D.!!!!

Good for you for creating a nurturing and safe environment for your child. I have a 13 month old little boy and I've found that the more I fight trying to change what comes naturally to him, the more difficult the situation becomes. Slowly, I've learned to basically "go with the flow" and its amazing how these little difficult times just pass. I know every child is different but one thing is the same, they have always relied on you for comfort and a safe haven. My son's doctor is Dr. Jay Gordon, and he has taught us so much about just listening to your child's needs. There is a ton of excellent resources on his website if you want more info.

In addition, I can't help to respond to Julie's negative comment about questioning the relationship between you and your husband. As I'm sure you know, you can pretty creative in how and when you spend "alone" time. And, if there is love in the relationship, it is shown in sooo many ways, not just sleeping together. No one has the right to question that.
Good luck to you and as I've been told so many times, enjoy your precious little boy, before long, he'll be a teenager who will find it "icky" to sleep with mom and dad.

we co-sleep with our 17 month old and I weened her off of night-time feedings about 4 months ago. It wasnt especially easy but she now sleeps pretty much through the night with
us. Basically, I would talk her through it and explain that she would have milk in the morning and now it was bed time. You have to be consistent. It is tough. She got angry! After awhile, she just understood. I recently weened her completely and now she sleeps much much better.

Well I am kinda in the same position as you. My son is 27 months and he is still a fussy sleeper! He goes to bed between 7-8 pm, in our bed then once he falls alseep we put him in his bed. He wakes up at about 11 or so calling for me, I try to ignore for a while but then he starts to cry but he doesn't want my breast he wants his cup of milk(with a sippie) and my hair! He is so attached to my hair he needs it EVERY time he has his cup..and that's a lot. Anyways he then goes back to sleep but in our bed..and wakes again anytime between 3 am and 5 am. He has been a bad sleeper since he was born, but I have to say it has gotten better. He use to wake up 4 or more times a night. We have a lot of habits to break,like the cup thing, my hair aka his security blanket, and last he wants nothing to do with the potty! I have tried and tried but I have had no luck. I am pregnant with our 3rd child due last week of May and I am terrified to see how things are going to go. My son is so attached to me and my hair and his sleeping is bad I am scarred I will get NO sleep!
So anyways, if you magical find a way to break the habit PLEASE sure with me the secret!.. :)
Thanks and good luck!

With my oldest son, he would sleep alone in his bassinet and crib for a three hour nap. Then, if I was tired, I would just lay down with him and he would go back to sleep! Laying down with me or my husband was all he needed to be content. My second son, however, would NEVER co-sleep well. He would toss, turn, kick and fret if he was not exhausted. This of course made US exhausted. Once he slept in his own crib he would sleep for hours! If he woke for a midnight feeding, I would try to lay down and nurse him sideways so I could go back to slepp, but as soon as he was done he would start flayling his arms around and whacking us in the face. Even today, at nine years old, if we lay down with him for more than five minutes, he says, "OK Mom, you can go now." He just is not comfortable sleeping with other people so close to him. That is just in his make-up.

A 15 month-old is definately old enough to be sleeping through the night without nursing. It could be that your son is just a more independant sleeper and needs his space. As hard as that might be for YOU to let go, I think you might find that everyone in your family might benefit from your son sleeping on his own and sleeping through the night. He will cry the first couple of nights, but I promise you, your son will be a better sleeper for the rest of his life if he learns to sooth himself back to sleep.

Try laying him down for naps first. Nurse him to sleep and put him in his crib. After two days, nurse him and put him down before he falls asleep. He will cry, but after two-three days he will adjust to the new routine. After he (and you) master the naps, then you put him in bed for the night. You have to eliminate the nursing little by little. Every two hours is WAY to often for nightime feedings. Cut it down to one feeding only for a few days, then try to go all night. You will be a better rested and happier mommy when you get a full night's sleep. It really sounds like you son is uncomfortable with the co-sleeping and it is impossible to train them to sleep through the night while co-sleeping and nursing at the same time. It's OK, we have all been through it and our kids are all OK. Good luck!

Aha! CIO... google the words "Harvard Cry It out" and see what you get. I'm not going to state my opinions, I will let you read for yourself!

I co-slept and night nursed for 2 years. I found that drinking mother's milk tea kept my supply at full force so the waking wasn't as much. My dd slept with me until she was three then progressed to the convertible toddler bed/crib (only time it was used) next to me then it was moved farther out from me until around age 4, when I commented on how big she was getting and how she wasn't fitting in the "baby bed" anymore. One day she announced that she was ready to sleep in her room in HER bed! I didn't teach or force independence, she came to it on her own and hasn't looked back. I now have a very happy and secure six year old...
That stage will pass. Make sure your baby has enough filling food at night and sleep nurse. You can leave the bed when the baby is out cold! Usually the limp - arm - blissful - face stage! This too will pass and enjoy it! I can't count the nights I would marvel at how tiny her hands were or how sweet she looked and I always slept a million times better with her beside me.

Hi D.,

I am sorry i don't have any real advice for you because we are going through the same thing except my daughter is only nearly 7 months old.

The only thing I can suggest is cover the clock so you are not checking the time everytime he wakes up. I started doing this a couple of weeks ago and it has helped with my anxiety and ability to fall right back to sleep after my dd wakes.

I have asked this same question before and have not really received any advice except that it will pass and this is a short time in his life so try to enjoy it (i don't know about the enjoying part but at least try to embrace it:).

Smiles,
J.

i wont talk you out of co sleeping because thats your personal choice to do with your son. but i will give you my 2 cents. i co slept with my daughter off and on for the first 4 months then when she was sick. thats it. honestly she doesnt like to sleep in between my husband and i because all she does is toss and turn and kick me. she is 23 months old so a little older then your son. she sleeps in a toddler bed. in my opinion for your sons health and you and your hubbies sanity maybe its time to stop the co sleeping. if your son is waking up that much at night hes not getting good sleep and he doesnt seem comfortable. maybe try him in a toddler bed in your room so he can still get in bed with you if he wakes at night and gets scared. also try to get him to put himself to sleep. i did the cio with my daughter and it was hard at times (and i know this isnt for you). but i taught her to put herself to sleep. she pats her chest and has a couple lovies that she sleeps with (a piggy and puppy). so maybe get him a big boy lovie. any way you choose to go im sue it will get better with time. good luck!

Hi D.,
Have you started him with a sippy cup yet? It sounds like you need to slowly try and ween him off during the day first and then slowly at night. Maybe also try the bottle instead of the boob so your milk flow is going down, he knows it's still there, he;s very smart! I started to ween my daughter at about 15 months and then by 18 months it was pretty much done. Don't be in too much of a rush.. it will happen eventually. Remember I did a about a 3 month thing. I think that babies like being able to do the sippy cup and feel more like a toddler than baby.. help him thrive on his growth. Just to let you know, that my daughter probably didn't stop coming into our bed till she was about 8 and then one day she was all grown up, well at least 11 going on 14. Once in a while now she graces me with her presence and jumps into bed with me for a hug or two and a few times she even stayed the night. Her room is her domain now. They do all grow up and eventually go to college. So hug them while you can. Patience, he can feel when you are upset, so go through this with him. If you do it over 3 months it should be pretty easy

I want to say in the most loving way possible that I think you're contributing to your baby's sleep deprivation by co-sleeping this long. It's only healthy to teach a child how to sleep on their own so that they can set up good sleeping habits for life.
Try to read HEALTHY SLEEP HABITS, HEALTHY CHILD by Weissbluth. And believe me, the CIO few days we went through were the worst thing EVER, but my twins are so much happier, well-rested babies now because of it. They are champion sleepers!
Truly, the whole family will be better rested.
I understand what you're going through and I wish you the best!
A.

OK, I won't talk you out of it because you requested that, but I now a few parents who did this, and it just got worse and worse. He's too old for this, and it won't get better, believe me. I'm a huge fan of CIO, and I know lots of people aren't, but it sure worked for us. I wish you luck, and hopefully more sleep!!

Just read and reviewed an article: http://www.lullabyluna.com/

My little guy turns into a torture device about 9:00! I had the same problems and lots of elbows too. None of us were getting any sleep. My husband finally 'put his foot down' and said that our son needed to be in his bed. I agreed and told my hubby that if he woke up that he'd have to deal with it! he only woke up once!! Turns out he'd rather just have more room. I was bummed that he didn't need me but also glad to see him gain confidence and want to do things on his own. I'm not a huge fan of the CIO deal either. Sometimes when I put him down he will fuss but I realized he didn't want me. He just wanted to stay up and play!

It helps them learn to be independent when you teach them to sleep in there own room. It won't be easy. I tried it with my first. It's too hard when you have more kids so I would start now. You can do it. I watched the nanny show the other day and these parents were doing this with there first so when the 2nd come a long he wanted to do the same thing. It took this couple a few days of sleepless nights but every time the kids came in they said good night and put them gently back in there own beds. The husband and wife took turns because the kid wouldn't stay finally they stayed. It doesn't mean you love them less. I means you are trying to teach them to live in the real world by being independent and strong capable people. Good luck. M. R

I think that a 15 month old boy waking every 40 minutes is not a good thing for anyone in your bed! Your child needs sleep to rest and grow - you and your husband need good sleep and more sleep than you are getting now, to be the best parents you can be. I would try some of the suggestions offered by the other moms about when you nurse etc....but if after trying those suggestions they don't solve the problem I think you need to consider moving this child out of the family bed. Perhaps keeping him in the same room - or if you and your husband are noisy sleepers -perhaps moving him to a different room. Sleep Deprivation is not something to take lightly. Cuddle with your darling boy all day long - but you all need some serious dream time at night. I wish you the best - and look forward to hearing how you solved this problem.
Linda

Hi D.,
My son coslept with us through the night until about two months ago, he is sixteen months. Once he got used to his crip, his routine has changed a bit. He falls asleep nursing and my husband puts him in his crib (he doesn't respond well when I do it). On a good night he tends to wake up between 2 and 4 to nurse, at this time he returns back to bed with us. I figure, my husband and I have at least half of the night to do. I do plan and hope he will eventually sleep through the night on his crib, but it is a process. As long as your husband and you are in unison with the decision, go for it!! However, do work towards the transition. I have a student who is in the fourth grade and still cosleepd, so do keep in mind the transition needs to be made at some point. (no, i'm not exagerating!)
Good luck,
ceci

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